LeVar & Reanne Harris On How Travel Keeps The Love Alive In Their First Year
In xoNecole's Our First Year series, we take an in-depth look at love and relationships between couples with an emphasis on what their first year of marriage was like.
A couple that travels together, stays together.
The sentiment couldn't ring truer for newlyweds LeVar Harris and Reanne Swafford-Harris. The couple are fresh off of commemorating their second-year wedding anniversary with a trip to Santorini, Greece. Among bleach white houses and bright blue roofs synonomous with Santorini, the two indulged in a private tour and access to some remote areas of the island and the village of Oia.
Photo Credit: @miltoskaraiskakis_photography
“It was a beautiful experience and we couldn't be happier with the photos we have to commemorate our time there," Reanne said. “In fact, Santorini is the first island we unanimously decided we would come back to with our future babies."
When LeVar, 28, met Reanne, 27, it was nearly a decade ago and deeply fated. The setting was a holiday social LeVar's fraternity was hosting for their annual Miss Black & Gold scholarship pageant. On that particular night, Reanne was a woman on a mission, having laid eyes on LeVar before then and letting his best friend know that of all the brothers of Alpha Phi Alpha, she wished to be paired up with him. Little did they know, in that moment, they were walking into the rest of their lives together.
From afar, LeVar had known Reanne as the cute track girl, but as they grew closer, he quickly became captivated by her drive, her focus, and her discipline. For Reanne, she always felt secure in his presence. The couple quickly found love through each other, a shared love of Christ, and adventure. And after five beautiful years together, the two exchanged vows and solidified their union on September 5, 2015.
Photo Credit: @miltoskaraiskakis_photography
This is their journey.
The One
LeVar Harris: I knew she was the one when I saw how she treated her friends and family, and how they interacted with her. Goals and ambitions are cool, but how your loved ones view you will eventually pour into your future family. After I saw how she cooked for, housed, and took care of her friends and track teammates in college, I knew she was the total package. I knew that my next girlfriend was going to be my future wife - which is why I was so selective - so marriage was definitely imminent.
I love my wife's tenacity, drive, and ambition.
I've always admired how Reanne is someone who is very goal-oriented and how she stops at nothing to make sure she achieves those goals. In the same breath, she pushes those around her to do better. You can't help but want to run right next to her. That's also what makes our relationship so much fun.
Not only will she ride shotgun with me, but also, she isn't afraid to drive right next to me. She's a true teammate and partner.
Reanne Swafford-Harris: I knew he was the one when I realized how closely his relationship with Christ mirrored my own. He was the first boyfriend I had to ever make me question if I was doing enough to seek out God. Was I in my word daily? Was I holding myself accountable for unforgiveness in my heart? Did people look at me and see Christ the same way I saw the Lord's favor over LeVar's life? I instantly realized he challenged me in the only way that mattered, and what truly sealed the deal for me was when he broached the topic of celibacy before I did. That gave me the upmost security in knowing I had been matched with someone equally yoked, someone who desired to live for God in word and deed for their own righteousness, and not in order to impress or win me over.
I instantly realized he challenged me in the only way that mattered.
I love his wisdom, how he seeks God first, and how even-tempered he is. LeVar is my peace. I can definitely be a storm (laughs), but when I enter our home, it's always a peaceful environment awaiting me and that's because my husband is consistent about thinking of ways to make life easy for me, and that's really something we try to do for each other.
The Best Part
LeVar: I think the concept of experiencing new things together is something we've shared from our first international trip together for my wife's 23rd birthday. I just remember how fun it was to embark on this new side of the world we had never seen before. The trip really opened our eyes to not only how amazing all-inclusive resorts are (laughs), but more importantly, it showed how far we can go with each other.
Reanne: My husband and I value uninterrupted time together in general, and traveling is an activity that really lends itself to that, be it a road trip to Vegas for my 21st, or our recent getaway to Greece to celebrate our second wedding anniversary. But I would say I am the more adventurous one, and I am definitely the creator of our travel itineraries. Luckily, my husband is really a go with the flow kind of guy, and always appreciates the effort I put into researching new countries and planning activities for us upon arrival. I see my time spent planning as an act of service to him, and because he enjoys indulging me, I typically don't get too much push back budget-wise (laughs).
Love Conquers All
Photo Credit: @miltoskaraiskakis_photography
LeVar: When Reanne graduated from law school, she got an offer from a law firm in San Francisco. We had been dating for a while, but I knew I wasn't interested in a long-distance relationship. I was very comfortable in Southern California with my own house and stable job, but knew if Reanne was going to be my future spouse, some sort of official commitment had to be made. I took it up with God, and prayed hard for a good two months, and then He gave me the confirmation I needed.
Reanne: Like my husband said, when I accepted a job offer in a city seven hours away, I knew this would either break us or make us. My husband had truly offered all the support I could have asked for in helping me make this decision. At the time, I, of course, wanted him to come with me, but I didn't feel I had the right to ask him to give up his home, career, and proximity to his family as his girlfriend. Although women are expected to uproot themselves in any stage of their relationship for a man, that same expectation is oftentimes unmet. I am still so grateful that I met and married a man who treats me as his equal.
Baggage Claim
LeVar: I personally didn't have any major baggage, maybe just a little carry on (laughs), but Reanne had some stemming from her past relationships we had to overcome. I personally never took it to heart because I understood the cause and she acknowledged it, but instead of complaining about it and making her feel bad, I just made the decision to stick my chest out and push through it. I literally made it a goal of mine to be the guy she didn't think existed. It worked.
I literally made it a goal of mine to be the guy she didn't think existed.
In terms of bad behaviors, I definitely had to unlearn being single and everything that came with it because I was single for so long prior. The going out without telling anyone, and being flirty unintentionally was something I didn't even realize I did until Reanne brought it to my attention.
Reanne: I had a lot of control issues, and I never realized how selfish I was until I was challenged with putting someone first. Prior to meeting my husband, I was a serial dater in the sense that as soon as I got out of one long-term relationship, I was quick to jump into another without every analyzing myself or the type of men I was allowing to date me. Although I never had a prolonged season of “singleness," I was still a newly 20-year-old with no concept of what a healthy relationship looked like, so for me checking your significant other's text messages before bed was as routine as me removing my makeup and brushing my teeth …so yeah, I had a lot to unlearn with respect to boundaries and trust.
The fortunate thing about meeting so young was that we had a little over 4 ½ years of dating to navigate these behaviors, and we attended premarital counseling through our church prior to getting married, so we did not bring any baggage into our marriage. A lot of me unlearning bad behavior simply came with aging and the maturity that followed, and of course my husband being consistent with how he demonstrated his love for me, even at such a young age, was pivotal.
Conflict Resolutions
LeVar: As with any relationship, there will be friction, but we always addressed it head on by communicating with one another. We always took the time to understand what each of our intentions was, and then figured out a happy medium.
Reanne: Overall, our first year was surprisingly smooth, and we definitely saw more highs than lows. But 2016 did present some difficult emotional challenges with a family death and my husband's career transition. I am not an outwardly emotional person when it comes to expressing sadness, so it was a challenge for me to comfort him in a way that communicated my empathy when my inner being wanted to shut down into a reclusive state. I am very fortunate though that my husband has always been adamant about us extending the benefit of the doubt to one another.
For more, keep up with the Harrises on Instagram @ladyharris_esq and @lv14degrees.
Know of any couples that epitomize black love goals to you? Whether married or unmarried, send us a note at submissions@xonecole.com for a chance to be featured in an upcoming Our First Year or How We Met feature.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Playa del Carmen is the perfect vacation getaway for anyone who loves beautiful beaches, delicious food, and fun activities. Located on the Caribbean Sea side of Mexico, PDC is nestled right between the spring break hub Cancun and the growing hotspot Tulum. Oftentimes overlooked for some of the other popular cities, I found Playa del Carmen to have just as much in terms of vacation necessities, with a more local and authentic Mexican feel.
The Ultimate Guide to Playa del Carmen
Playa del Carmen is perfect for a solo traveler looking to spend a few days in paradise or the group chat that wants to hang on the beach all day and turn up at night. I found the area to have a little bit of everything for everyone, so here’s my guide on where to eat, stay, and play for the ultimate Playa del Carmen vacation.
Getting Around
The easiest way to get to Playa del Carmen is to fly into Cancun Airport and then make your way south. You can rent a car and drive the one hour down to PDC, take a taxi, or you can catch the ADO bus, which will cost you less than $40 roundtrip. Overall, Playa del Carmen is an easy and safe city to navigate. If you stay on or close to Quinta Avenida (5th Avenue), you’ll be within walking distance to a ton of stores, restaurants, and nightlife. Most taxi rides were between 100 and 150 pesos, which is less than $10 USD. Renting a car is also an option, but with things being very walkable and taxis being fairly inexpensive, it’s not a necessity. Another great way to get around is bikes, which you can rent to use throughout the city.
Stay
The Thompson Hotel is for the folks who know that where you stay on vacation absolutely does matter. This luxury property offers chic rooms and upscale suites, onsite restaurants, and a spa for those who are looking to pamper themselves. One of the standout features of this property is the rooftop infinity pool, which has 360-degree views of the city and is absolutely stunning. This is your type of hotel if you value immaculate views, delicious eats, prime location, and live DJs.
Grand Hyatt offers a prime beachfront location, while also being steps away from the mix on Quinta Avenida. I like that this property allows you to take in the calm beauty of the Caribbean, while also being in close proximity to the action within the city. You get both authentic Mexican food and some international fare at the resort restaurants, and this property also has an infinity pool that gives views of the ocean.
Airbnb
If you don’t have the funds to spend on a hotel stay, but still want clean and comfortable accommodations, do not overlook Airbnb. You can find super reasonably priced apartments close to the strip that will leave you in the heart of all the action. Many of these buildings feature 24-hour security, infinity pools, top-notch gyms, and rooftop bars. This is a great way to save some money, while not sacrificing the quality of the accommodations you like.
Eat
One of the best parts of being near the Caribbean Sea is having access to fresh seafood, and Ictio Fish House is the place to go for it. Located just a block off of the 5th Avenida strip, this small seafood restaurant is a quieter change compared to some of the busier and more touristy restaurants located directly on the strip. They have both indoor and outdoor seating available, but if you can snag a spot at the bar, the service is top notch and you can watch the bartender put together your craft cocktail.
Everything they serve is delicious and tastes authentic, so you really can't go wrong when ordering. But to start, the crispy jumbo shrimp and calamari are perfect for sharing. Other must-try dishes are the garlic butter catch of the day and the adobo-styled octopus.
El Fogon
Ask anyone for a recommendation for the best tacos in Playa del Carmen, and I promise you they will point you to El Fogon. You know a spot is good when it’s filled with just as many locals as tourists, and there’s a line outside at 1 p.m. This no-frills spot serves up authentic Mexican favorites like el pastor tacos, chicken quesadillas, guacamole, and margaritas. Every dish comes with the fixings and is not only super filling but extremely affordable. You can easily get a full meal and a drink for less than $20 USD. They have more than one location, so you can taste some of their delicious tacos no matter what part of PDC you stay in.
L&L by Lara&Luca
Before you hit the beach for day drinking, you need a hearty breakfast from L&L to start your day. This cute cafe is the smaller “sister” restaurant to Lara&Luca, another popular breakfast and lunch cafe in Playa. I liked that L&L is less busy and more laid back than the other location. They serve up typical breakfast and lunch items such as eggs, coffee, sandwiches, and French toast.
My favorite item was the ham and cheese croissant, which could be enjoyed on their outdoor seating or taken to enjoy on the go. They also have yummy pastries, but these sell out quickly, so be sure to go early.
El Pirata
If you’re a fried fish lover like me and appreciate sea-to-table service, El Pirata is the place to go. This restaurant is tucked away towards the end of the main 5th Avenida strip, so you might miss it if you aren’t looking for it. The restaurant serves up a plethora of tasty dishes like fresh ceviche, garlic shrimp, and shrimp empanadas, and has a full beverage menu for your libation needs. However, the fried fish is truly the star of the show.
When you order, they bring to your table a few of the fresh fish that were caught that day and allow you to choose which lucky one you want them to fry for you. And let me tell you, picking your own fried fish just hits different! It was one of my favorite meals in Playa del Carmen.
Play
Food Tour
There are so many delicious places to eat in Playa del Carmen so taking a local food tour is the best way to try a little bit of everything. I love taking food tours when I travel because not only is it a great way to try a range of different local dishes, but the tour guides usually give you a history lesson during the tour where you learn more about the history of certain dishes and the country as a whole. In Playa Del Carmen, I took a local food tour with GetYourGuide, where we stopped at several different locations for tacos, fresh fruit juice, tamales, and more.
I value it when there’s a local leading the tour because it’s a way to support the locals and also learn things that only people native to the location would know. While we walked, the guide shared a lot of insight about Mexico and Playa del Carmen, while giving recommendations for places to eat during our trip.
Cenotes
Cenotes are natural sinkholes or underground caverns that have pools of water in which you can explore, dive, and swim in. You will find cenotes all around Mexico, but there are several in the Playa del Carmen region. Cenotes vary in size and also the depth of water, so even if you don’t know how to swim, you can find a cenote to explore at your own comfort level. Two beautiful cenotes you can explore near PDC are Cenote Azul and Cenote Dos Ojos.
Cenote Azul is perfect for snorkeling because of the crystal clear waters that allow you to see the colorful fish and plant life underneath. Cenote Dos Ojos is perfect for explorers due to the mesmerizing underground caverns and rock formations throughout. You can take a trip to the cenotes on your own or book a tour that may take you to several different cenotes.
Beaches
Playa Del Carmen has some of the most beautiful beaches in the Caribbean, so beach hopping is a must while vacationing in the area. Whether you want a chill, relaxing beach day or you are thinking of jet skiing on the blue waters, there is a beach for you. There are several beaches along the coast of Playa del Carmen, some that are within walking distance of most hotels, and others that you may need to travel to get to but are totally worth it.
Playa Mamitas is one of the most popular beaches in PDC due to its location near the heart of the city, and also because of the crystal clear waters and white sand. Playa Mamitas is also a great spot for entertainment and the occasional beach party for the folks wanting to turn up. Playacar Beach is another great option that is located in the upscale Playacar neighborhood, south of downtown Playa del Carmen.
It is known for its pristine beauty and laid-back atmosphere, making it a popular destination for travelers seeking relaxation and seclusion. Other beaches to consider are Punta Esmeralda and Xpu-ha Beach, so you’ll have an option for every day of your trip, depending on your mood.
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