Now here's something that I found to be pretty fascinating. Before I get into what a dosha actually is, let's touch a little on the background of what Ayurvedic medicine is all about first. While I'm pretty sure that you've heard of it before, if you're wondering what it technically means, Ayurvedic medicine is considered to be one of the oldest holistic health practices around. It was developed thousands of years ago, in India, with the belief that I firmly support — that the mind, body and spirit are all supposed to work in harmony and if we focused more on proactive health than reactive illness, we'd all be the better for it.
Along with this mindset, Ayurvedic medicine promotes the belief that we're all made up of the five basic earth elements — space, air, fire, water, and earth. This is actually where the word "dosha" comes in. So, if you want to learn what it is and how to apply it to your own daily health practice, please read on.
What Exactly Is a Dosha All About?
OK, so you know how Dr. Gary Chapman came up with the idea that love is basically expressed in five main ways (words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, quality time and acts of service) yet we each need love in 1-2 primary ways (like for me, it's words of affirmation and physical touch)?
Well, while Ayurvedic medicine relies on the five earth elements (space, air, fire, water, and earth), dosha is about each of us inheriting three main ones (which makes sense when you think about the whole "mind, body and spirit" thing) with two being the stronger of the three. The concept is that when we find ourselves not being our best selves, it's typically about something within our individualized dosha being out of balance with the others. Interesting, right?
Now before I break down what each dosha represents, I think it would be helpful if you took your own dosha quiz first. Believe it or not, they aren't very hard to find and many of them are free. You can take one here, here, here, here or here, for starters. None of the tests are long and the objective is simply to find out what your body type is, so that you'll then have a better understanding of how to treat yourself on a mental (mind), physical (body) and internal (spirit) level.
By the way, your options are going to be Vata (space and air), Pitta (fire and water) or Kapha (water and earth). My two cents would be to take three different tests to see which results are the most consistent (I am recommending this based on personal experience). That said, what do all three of these doshas actually mean?
What If You’re “Vata”?
OK, so if your test results say that you're a Vata, it means that your predominant life forces are space and air. As far as how this breaks down regarding the mind, body and spirit tip:
Mind. You tend to be creative and like to think outside of the box a lot. You enjoy new things and taking risks. Because so many ideas come to you on a consistent basis, it can be challenging for you to focus and get/stay organized. You typically have vivid dreams, are prone to overthinking and it's not uncommon for you to have bouts of anxiety because of it.
Body. Naturally dry skin is a constant for you. Your hair can lean towards being dry and brittle as well. You enjoy exercise, sometimes to the point of overdoing it. And when it comes to health-related concerns, asthma, heart disease, skin issues and rheumatoid arthritis are what you have to be on the lookout for. Digestive issues are typically your thing too. As far as your diet goes, you seem to have a liking for comfort foods, things that are prepared in an oil base and you actually don't mind a meal that "sticks to your bones".
Spirit. Spirit speaks to life force, so when it comes to how you live life, your strengths are that you're compassionate, flexible, a quick learner, good multitasker and lots of energy. Your weaknesses include being forgetful, moody, having a difficult time falling and/or staying asleep and being overwhelmed.
What If You’re “Pitta”?
A Pitta's predominant life force consists of fire and water. What this boils down to is:
Mind. You work hard and are pretty task oriented. You're not at peace until the job you committed to is done and sometimes that makes you pretty impatient and irritable. It's not uncommon for folks to use words like "aggressive" or "tenacious" to describe you. Also, you are a great candidate for success because you're very self-motivated with quite the competitive streak.
Body. If anyone can't stand the heat (temperature, that is), it would be Pittas. That's a big part of the reason why you usually sweat more than the other two doshas do. You also have more oily skin than the others which makes you more prone to breakouts. Heart disease, high blood pressure and infections are what you are more vulnerable to. As far as your diet goes, it's best if you avoid hot, spicy and even fermented foods because they have a tendency to mess with your digestive system (although you usually have a quick metabolism and good blood circulation).
Spirit. You're a natural-born leader, so you already know that comes with a mixed bag. As far as your strengths go, you're intelligent, a quick learner, someone who is clear about their life's purpose, you stay focused and are able to achieve great success. Your weaknesses? You are prone to conflict, can be quite impatient, can have a hard time achieving work-life balance, could stand to learn how to be calmer and master how to choose your battles more wisely.
What If You’re “Kapha”?
Finally, the Kapha is all about the life forces of water and earth. This means:
Mind. It's not uncommon for people to describe you as being kind and loyal. You also tend to be a source of stability for those around you. You move at a slow and deliberate pace and, to the outside world, your moods are about as even as they come. The flip side to this is because you are also a natural suppressor, you oftentimes have bouts of loneliness or even depression. This can lead to random impulsive decisions or even binge-eating, if you're not careful. Something else that you have to stay on top of is making sure that "stability" is not a mask for stagnation being that Kaphas are also prone to getting stuck in a rut and staying there.
Body. Your circulation isn't exactly the best which is why your hands and/or feet tend to be cold a lot. Your skin is usually pretty moist. Interestingly enough, a nap in the middle of the day is no biggie to you. Food-wise, dairy and desserts are totally your thing and you will oftentimes drink things that have too much salt in them. What you've got to watch out for is that you're most prone to developing cancer, diabetes, asthma, allergies and becoming overweight which is why it's best to have a diet of light and stimulating meals as much as possible.
Spirit. Humans really don't get much more empathetic and caring as you. Some of your other strengths include profound wisdom, being quite romantic, maintaining a sense of calm, leaning towards the side of optimism and being non-skeptical of others. Weaknesses include sleeping to escape issues (including holding on to other people's stuff), needing constant encouragement, not being self-motivated, not making the most of your time (you know, dragging along) and not being the best planner.
A trip, right? While all of this is merely an introductory course, I thought it was cool to share because if you do indeed see yourself in one of these (again, after taking the quiz), it can help you to make certain adjustments to your mind, body or spirit to see if it helps you to feel better, on a holistic level.
Personally, I've tried it out and have noticed some significant changes over the past few weeks. So, get to know your dosha. Because the more balanced we are all, the better off we'll all be. Amen? Amen.
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Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
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