6 Organizing Tips That'll Transform Your Home & Your Life
This whole pandemic environment has thrown all of us for a loop. Whether you're new to working from home or have been doing it for years, you've probably felt the strain. Boundaries have gotten totally blurred, and sometimes it can feel like everything is just out of wack and a hot mess. We could all benefit from some professional organizer tips and tricks to help us find peace, promote productivity, and relieve stress. Take back your life and get your home all the way together by trying these 6 steps, with insights from professional organizers and the habits that keep them at peace:
1. Commit to becoming more organized and adjusting habits.
Kenika Williams, pro organizer and founder of Tidied by K in Atlanta, says organizing the home starts with making the commitment to incorporate daily tweaks to your habits. "There needs to be a mental shift or some point where you verbally and mentally commit to yourself that you're going to take your habits and embark on the journey of getting organized," she says. "Some of things you may have been used to doing previously are not going to fly. For example, if you're working from home, now is a good opportunity to adjust your habits or create new habits so that you can feel at peace in your space and up your productivity."
Being deliberate about taking care of basic household chores the night before, for example, can help you focus on keeping your home clean and free up time to organize in other ways. "If you know that you are used to leaving dishes in the sink and things like that, making small tangible changes in your habits is going to make a world of difference. Turn on a podcast for 20-30 minutes and get in your zone while tidying your kitchen before you go to bed so that when you wake up in the morning, you have created a new habit to counter what you're used to and you can continue with your day with that change in place."
2. Clear out the clutter, one space at a time.
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A key in actually organizing a space is to start with the clutter that currently exists before thinking about any organizational changes. "According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention study, 80% of our medical expenses are related to stress which clutter contributes to," says Dai Smith, founder of Simplicity By Day, a Houston-based organization solutions firm. "Therefore, tackling disorganization in your home can positively affect your mental health and help relieve stress."
Williams agrees. "Get rid of things that no longer have purpose in your home," she suggests. "[Maybe] you don't love something, you never liked it when someone gave it to you, or you've stuffed it somewhere in a closet. Try to purge as much as you can. What that can look like is every single day you get rid of five things."
Having a hard time getting rid of items you don't use or things with sentimental value? "I suggest repurposing the item," Smith says. "For example, snap a photo of the item, put it in a nice frame, and hang it on the wall. Cut a piece of the shirt or quilt from your deceased relative and put that in a shadow box to place on display. Many times those sentimental items are tucked away in a closet often forgotten about and this allows you to really honor their memory and minimize clutter as well."
And don't overwhelm yourself by starting large organizational projects first. "Find a small spaceâmaybe that junk drawer or the linen closet," Williams adds. "Start with a space that is disorganized and small, and work through decluttering and finding a way to organize."
Sorting through items you'll keep, sell, or give away for charity is a good place to start, and setting a goal or incentive will help you with the motivation to truly clear out what's just unnecessary and hindering organization. If you know you'll be able to sell items to invest in something that will add to your home or donate to a worthy cause, you might be more apt to reach your organizing goals as well. (Check out a step-by-step guide here.)
3. Tailor systems for remaining organized, and adjust when needed.
"Working from home leads to many distractions so having a plan on what you need to focus on for the day or week is imperative," Smith says. "For my clients, I've suggested either a simple 'Want vs. Needs' to-do list or the more comprehensive decision matrix tool for creating to-do lists. I advise them to make daily, weekly, and monthly goals and then break them down based on priority. This will help you stay focused on what is the most important and urgent thing to do and dismiss or delegate the things that aren't as important or urgent."
Williams is a big fan of keeping things simple and recognizing what works best for you. "Don't create filing-cabinet systems with a hundred different categories if you don't have to because you want to be able to make sure it's long-lasting and you can manage it long-term."
Smith further recommends using a daily 15-minute rule to jump-start getting organized. "Spend 15 minutes before you start your day or 15 minutes at the end of the day organizing your space," she says. "That could look like clearing paperwork off your desk or filing items that you no longer need. You'd be surprised how much you can get done in 15 minutes. Set a timer on your phone and go in!"
Williams also leans on time management as a great way to remain organized, and incorporating time blocking or methods like the Pareto rule can help with getting tasks done and scheduling household chores.
4. Invest in organizational products, items, or practices that make sense.
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Williams encourages women to define what organized means based on their own needs, their home, and their lifestyle. This will help you decide on the best products and items for your home. "Being aware of the furniture you're buying is going to help determine the types of organizing products you need. My whole brand is about functionality and aestheticsâmaking a room functional and feel pretty. You want to enjoy being in that space, and your habits will start to adjust because you want to keep it up. If you don't really like being in the space, you're not going to keep it up as much as you should."
Smith has go-to "simplicity picks" she uses and recommends frequently for her clients. "The must-haves are binsâclear, wire, wicker, or whatever fits your styleâshelf maximizers (lazy susans, tiered shelves, and shelf stackers, and drawer organizersâexpandable or customizable."
Another great product-based hack is to further organize larger bins, drawers, or closet spaces with smaller bins. "Maybe you use one big bin that's decorative or a pretty basket that you put on the shelf, but you need to further compartmentalize. I'll use smaller dollar-store bins and label them to place inside the larger one. This way, you're adding more functionality. For the things that you know you are constantly misplacing or looking for, finding its own special home for you will help you always know where that item is. Even if it's just something that you come up with your own special way with keeping up with it, then you will."
5. Use tech to find organization solutions for automation and boosting efficiency.
"I work primarily with working parents, busy professionals, and entrepreneurs so they have less time than most to commit to organizing," Smith says. "I've created a simple four-step organizing process that works for organizing every space and uses a simple and efficient workflow via Dubsado to manage their organizing projects. This allows us to set realistic timelines and I provide tools to shorten the learning curve for them."
Use Web-based platforms or apps to help you keep up with deadlines, schedule household activities, get rid of paper waste, and remind you of key maintenance dates or appointments. Todoist, ProofHub, Wunderlist, Shoeboxed and Google Forms are all great for helping organize your to-do lists, sync calendars, track spending and bills, and provide notifications for upcoming deadlines.
Use Pinterest to create boards for organizing information on the latest hacks, products and unique ways to increase functionality of your space, and follow organization experts or platforms like Marie Kondo, Simplified, Apartment Therapy, or Simply Spaced. Automate payments by setting up via your service providers and use automation for household chores by investing gadgets like a robot vacuum or smart lawn mower. Also, incorporate smart tech wherever you can so that you can control appliances and gadgets by voice or phone from afarâsaving you time, effort and money.
6. If all else fails, get some help.
Sometimes life just gets hectic, and organizing your home may not be something you can take on alone. It might also be something that's needed but not your favorite thing to do. Here's where getting help is your best bet. Professional organizers can guide you in coming up with solutions that are tailored to your home and lifestyle, and the National Association of Black Professional Organizers has a directory for finding one near you. You can also check out sites like Angie's List or Care.com for housekeeping, lawn maintenance, and professional organizer services if you'd like someone else to do the work of decluttering and organizing for you.
Retailers also offer services for professionals to visit your home (or conduct virtual consultations) for setting up your dream closet, kitchen system or other organizational improvements.
Whatever option you choose, it will more than serve as a lifesaver to getting your home in tip-top shape for you to live your best work-from-home life and find peace.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. Thatâs why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who arenât afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, theyâre ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Donât forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?
Even though itâs my life, sometimes I look at it and totally trip out over certain things.
For instance, even though I am aware that both Hebrew and African cultures put a lot of stock in the name of a child (because they believe it speaks to their purpose; so do I) and I know that my name is pretty much Hebrew for divine covenant, itâs still wild that in a couple of years, I will have been working with married couples for a whopping two decades â and boy, is it an honor when they will say something like, âShellie, weâve seen [professionally] multiple people and no one has been nearly as effective as you have been.â
Yep, me. Little oleâ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, yâall better quit letting people tell you what youâre called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe Iâve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is â âYou better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big âole party for all of the work that youâre about to do.â And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, âAnd you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.â
Why do I emphasize that point so much? Itâs because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think itâs important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife â or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
Itâs Time to Stop âLiving for the Fairy Taleâ
GiphyIf youâve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that Iâve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan âA diamond is foreverâ and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, Iâll just let you read Insiderâs âHere's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,â if youâre interested.
And as far as marriage goes, donât even get me started on the whole âIâm living for the fairy taleâ narrative that gets pushed incessantly. Iâve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means âa story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creaturesâ and âan incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.â Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that âcharm is deceitfulâ (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, whatâs up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric thatâs so popular and also, so⌠âsillyâ is the first word that comes to mind, âunrealisticâ is the second and âunnecessaryâ is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom â all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldnât afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it â even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your âwhyâ?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and donât get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) â WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, âWhen you find your âwhyâ, you will find a way to make it happen.â And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there arenât enough âwhyâ questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying âwhyâ you want a huge wedding is nothing more than âbecause I want toâ or âwhyâ you chose the man that you did is simply âI love himâ â Iâve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply arenât good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thingâŚnot by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf youâve been reading my content for a while now, you know that Iâm good for throwing some Scripture in; itâs a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word thatâs used to define it in the Bible is âhelpmateâ (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual â in this case, a husband.
While weâre here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and itâs good. Lawd, I canât tell you how many wife clients Iâve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does âgood helpâ look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into âAm I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?â
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that Iâm not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the âprincess treatment.â Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is âFathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queenâ â and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, âAn excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.â
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. Itâs not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do â and itâs not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Yâall, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, Iâll just end this part of the article with, âIf youâre not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, youâre not ready to be a wife.â Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (Iâm writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people donât have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when youâre dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person youâre seeing keeps their word â and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying âI do.â And while weâre here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly donât see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it â to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way â down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a âtrickâ that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldnât feel like they are falling for someone when theyâre able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big oleâ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watchUnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isnât even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you donât want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you donât want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you donât want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you donât want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you donât want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual â marriage isnât for you.
Youâd be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I donât mean marry yourself; you are already âoneâ with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce becauseâŚdivorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union â yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. Itâs not a party. Itâs a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Donât Get Married Until Youâre Sure That You WantâŚBOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I donât immediately respond with, âCongrats! Thatâs awesome.â NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, âFor real. Why?â WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, âWhat do you mean âwhyâ?â and then follow that up with, âBecause Iâm in loveâ orâŚthey donât really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesnât really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT â Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think youâve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because youâre both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, thatâs not asking enough. I donât care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I donât care how much divorce has been normalized. I donât care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (itâs not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (itâs not) â marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just saidâŚnot simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, thatâs a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: itâs because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for â not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; youâll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: âWhen it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesnât excite you more than being a bride â wait. Youâre not ready yet.â
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
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