Life Purging Kept Me From Losing My Mind
It was approximately 12:20am Wednesday morning when I kicked that damned blanket on the floor and sprung from my bed. In this moment, I realized that I was doing it again. I was momento hoarding.
I'm a sentimental woman, and that's not something I'm ashamed to say.
I made an effort to save all of my old stuffed animals and still have the framed letter that my parents wrote me during my freshman year in college. I'm a sucker for things that hold emotional value, okay? Sue me.
But this wasn't just any blanket. This was the blanket that my ex and I had slept under for two and a half years, a few months of which were spent on my aunt's living room on an air mattress. This blanket was a true ride or die, and even after we broke up, I made excuses as to why I should keep this second-hand, tattered quilt.
I like this blanket because it's not too hot. It's perfect because it's easy to fold: it even dries quickly after going through the washing machine. In retrospect, all bullshit reasons as to why I should keep my ex-boyfriend's grandmother's worn down comforter.
I realized I truly had a problem when a year after I had moved into my first apartment alone, not only had I kept a folder of his old artwork (just in case he wanted it at some point), I also had several pairs of his underwear tucked away in my dresser.
I found myself lost in a sea of emotions just walking into my place. I looked around and realized that the items that had so comfortably ordained my home, all were the belongings of my ex that he refused to accept back.
When a potential suitor came over, I would casually mention that the size 10 Jordans in the corner belonged to a man I hadn't spoken to in months, and assure him that he had nothing to worry about. And when my family asked me why I held on to that dingy ass quilt that poorly adorned my full-sized bed (and in no way matched my room decor), my answers always felt insufficient.
When I packed up my things to leave Louisiana and move to Denver in pursuit of my dreams, I left that apartment with only the things that I could fit in my car. This put me in a bit of a conundrum, because guys, I had a lot of shit.
I heard once that everything that's in your house should make you happy. If you look at something in your home and it doesn't bring you joy, you should get rid of it.
I used this theory, shed about 90% of my dead weight, and got on the road for a 17-hour car ride. When I reached a halfway point in Oklahoma to rest, the window of my car was broken into and I was robbed of most of the things I tried so hard to fit into my car.
They took my computer. They took my degree. They took the last of my ex's underwear that I tried so desperately to hold on to. But they left me something. This dingy ass blanket that now lays on the floor on the side of my bed.
I had been robbed of so many things I cared about, and one of the only things they left me with was this blanket. A blanket that I've slept with for nearly two years since my relationship ended.
Throughout my journey to redemption, I've discovered a valuable lesson: Items hold energy.
Despite my effort to rid myself of every spirit that came along with my ex, I failed to realize that I was still sleeping with him every night.
Even though I seemingly "decluttered" my life when I left Baton Rouge to come to Colorado, I was still holding on to unwanted energy in the name of sentimental value.
I realized that this need to hold on to things that didn't grow me had carried over into my relationships. It was my nature to hold on to people simply because they held sentimental value and it was affecting my energy. Just like this blanket I refused to let go of, I held on to relationships that did not feed me mentally or spiritually because, at one time, they were special to me.
Life purging is the act of eliminating any and everything in your life that may be stifling your growth.
Momento hoarding is a guilty pleasure of mine that now stands to hinder me from moving forward and letting go of what once was. There are people and blankets that will always hold a special place in my heart, but it doesn't mean I need to hold on to them, and it certainly doesn't mean I need to sleep with them every night.
I encourage you to evaluate the items and the relationships that you surround yourself with. Are they around because they hold sentimental value, or are you like me, momento hoarding your life away? The answer to that question can change your life.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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If you’re like many other people who are prioritizing wellness these days, then attending a wellness retreat might be something to consider. Wellness retreats are a cool way to get the relaxation you’ve been missing in a space with like-minded people who share a common goal. I descended upon my first wellness retreat, the Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat, a couple of weeks ago at the Zoëtry Agua Punta Cana Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.
Zoëtry Agua is part of the Inclusive Collection for the World of Hyatt. It is nestled on a secluded part of Uvero Alto beach, which has crystal blue waters. The resort itself is picturesque, with its thatched roofs and lazy rivers that make you feel like you’re in a cute little village.
Mindy, Body, + Sol Retreat was hosted by Koya Webb, holistic health and wellness coach and yoga instructor, and it also featured other wellness practitioners who combined provided the ultimate gift of relaxation and getting back to oneself.
The first night was a Welcome Dinner that featured a five-course meal and an opportunity to meet our companions for the next three days. The food was impeccable and the only downside was that I wasn’t able to finish it all. The next day, however, was the official start of the classes, and I was ready to dive in.
Aura and Chakra Reading
Aura and chakra reading
Photo courtesy
My first class was an aura and chakra reading led by Laura McCann and James Levinson, an Asheville, NC couple. I’ve had chakra readings before, but never like this. There was a computer, a camera, and a scanner, which I placed my hand on for the reading. After two minutes, I received a 15-page report explaining my aura and chakra reading.
It breaks down what the colors of your aura are and what your chakras say. My main colors were green and yellow, which were defined by a variety of things. The top of my aura was green, meaning I have a social mental state and I’m a natural healer. My aura on my left side was yellow meaning my energy flowing is optimistic and light and so on.
After James discussed the findings with me, I then met with Laura, who gave me aromatherapy oils from their ADORAtherapy line that represented each chakra. She further explained the results of my chakra reading and shared how each oil can assist. Chakras are the energy centers in our body, and there is a total of seven: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, and crown. All of my chakras were high except for my heart chakra, which I have since been working on. I may follow up about that in another article.
Sound Bath
Sound bath class
Photo courtesy
Next was the sound bath class. It was located in the spa, which was indoor/ outdoor and the perfect setting for this kind of experience. Andrew Francis and Carrie Bailey of Zenden Meditation were the co-pilots in transporting attendees into a place of tranquility. I laid down, closed my eyes, and allowed the sounds around me to bring me into a relaxing state. From the singing bowls to the wind chimes, I was in heaven. I even fell asleep and got some of the best rest I’ve had in a while. It was a beautiful experience. However, remember when I noted it was an indoor/ outdoor venue? I forgot to put on bug spray and woke up pretty itchy. But it didn’t stop me from enjoying the moment.
Tea Party
Art of Tea Ritual Tea Party
Photo courtesy
The last event of the day was the Art of Tea Ritual located in the resort’s tea garden. It was everything you could want in a tea party. Delectable treats such as cookies, cakes, and white chocolate-covered strawberries, which are my fave. And, of course, tea. While I got to sip tea, I also got to make my own tea blend. There were many different teas to choose from, like hibiscus to your regular black tea. I decided to mix rose and mint and I called it RoseMint. I didn’t get to try my tea blend until I got home, and I’ll be honest, it’s probably the best tea I ever had. The tea herbs taste so fresh, and I love how fragrant it smells.
Breathwork
Breathwork Class
Photo Courtesy
The next morning was all about breathwork. If you exercise regularly, then you probably know the importance of breathing. But there’s more to it besides remembering to breathe during your workout. Margaret Townsend is a breathwork facilitator who helps people achieve wellness by consciously changing their breathing patterns. In her class, I learned to change my breathing pattern for energy as well as for relaxation. While I know that breathing is a relaxation tool, I was blown away to learn that it can also energize you. Because it was a different breathing pattern, I was also able to stay present and keep a steady pace.
Yoga
Koya Webb's yoga class
Photo courtesy
The final class of the retreat was evening yoga with Koya Webb, who, as I mentioned earlier, was the host. Her class was held beside the beautiful Uvero Alto beach, which made for a stunning backdrop and the perfect way to end the retreat. It was important for me to get back into my body after not doing yoga for a few weeks, so I was really focused on nailing the moves. However, Koya kept the energy light and fun, evening cracking a few jokes throughout, which made it easy for me to relax and enjoy the moment. She ended the class with a dance break and hugs from our classmates.
The Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat reminded me how important it is to take time to love on myself. Each class was an opportunity to be present and get reacquainted with oneself in the most loving way. Being surrounded by individuals who encouraged my journey was what I needed, and I am so honored to have had this experience.
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