The Breathing Methods That Will Help You Maintain Your Cool
"Everything is going to be all good as long as you breathe." This is the advice I would hear constantly throughout my life when things weren't going as planned. At the time, I never understood how breathing could solve all my problems. As I got older and developed a meditation practice, I began to experience the benefits of breathwork: lower levels of stress and anxiety, the ability to think clearer, healing emotional wounds, releasing negative thoughts, and increased levels of happiness. Becoming one with my breath has helped me tremendously, and it can help you too.
We can't discuss breathing methods without talking about the master of breathing himself, Wim Hof. Wim Hof, more known as The Iceman, is an extreme athlete, philosopher, and breathwork genius. He has been able to withstand freezing temperatures through the art of breathwork. Hof's method has been featured in James Nestor's book, Breath. James is a journalist who set out to scientifically test long-held beliefs about breathing.
Through modern research, James and other scientists have been able to prove that we can change the mind through our breath. Making adjustments to the way we inhale and exhale can improve the overall quality of life.
I have implemented most of James Nestor's breathwork practices into my meditation. In my experience, using these methods have helped your girl all the way relax. If you're feeling a little tense and looking to realign, then these breathing tactics might be for you!
Here are the top breathing methods to help you come back to the center.
1.Deep Belly Breathing
This breathwork method is the "OG" of all breathing methods. Deep belly breathing is a great way to release any tension in your muscles. Tension in your muscles can be related to stress and anxiety. Deep belly breathing lets the muscles in our body know it's time to relax. The best way to implement deep belly breathing is by laying down. Inhale through your belly and exhale through your mouth by making a whistle shape with your lips. Try your best not to move your chest when deep belly breathing. Repeat at least 3-10 times.
2.4-7-8 Method
The 4-7-8 method is a personal favorite of mine. I love the 4-7-8 method because it allows me to take control of my breath. When I take control of my breath, it makes me feel like I'm taking back control of my life. The 4-7-8 method is perfect when life feels chaotic.
The 4-7-8 method can seem intimidating at first, but it is quite simple. You can practice this method by sitting up or laying down; inhale slowly for 4 seconds through your nose. When you reach the top of your breath, hold it for 7 seconds. Exhale slowly and count for 8 seconds. Repeat as many times as needed.
3.Nose Song
Now, I'm going to keep it real with you. This is where breathwork can feel a little weird, but I promise you it's everything. Nose song consists of breathing in through your nose and humming. According to Indie Bound, humming helps produce neurochemicals such as oxytocin. When oxytocin is released, it helps reduce stress and induce calmness.
Incorporating breathwork with humming can also help you fall asleep during those long restless nights.
Most prefer to practice 'nose song' breathwork in solitude to avoid being judged. You may practice this method anywhere that makes you most comfortable. Sitting up or laying down are both acceptable when trying this method. Simply inhale through your nose, hold your breath for a beat, and hum when exhaling. Repeat as many times as needed.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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