

Here's Exactly How To Start Protecting Your Spirit
The spirit is a complex and, as you're about to see in just a moment, super layered kind of thing. From a biblical standpoint, if you looked up the Hebrew origin of the word (because the Bible was translated from Hebrew to English), it is "ruach" which is a feminine form of the word "breath". Breath isn't just the air that we breathe; breath is also our very life. Spirit is life.
And so, of course, it is imperative that we do all that we can to protect—to defend or guard from attack, invasion, loss, annoyance, insult, etc.; cover or shield from injury or danger—our spirit. Because, as a Native American writer and musician by the name of John Trudell once said, "Protect your spirit because you are in a place where spirits get eaten." Another way to look at this is, you are on a planet where spirits are oftentimes consumed. Devoured even. Yeah, that might not be a warm 'n fuzzy kind of intro, but that doesn't make the facts any less true. And just why are so many people having their spirits—their quality of life—devoured? I'd venture to say that it's because a lot of individuals don't even recognize just how vast their spirit actually is.
Let's do something to change that today. Below are seven words that are literal synonyms for the word "spirit". From personal experience, I can vouch for the fact that, if you take the necessary steps to protect each of these, the quality of your life, overall, will only get exponentially better. That's a promise.
1. Your Character
Some people like to define character as being one's personality. Personally, I think it goes a bit deeper than that. To me, your character is comprised of your behavior and the adjectives that could be used to describe it. For instance, someone might say that you're patient (or impatient), funny (or serious), dependable (or flaky). The reality is all of us have character traits that are good—and not so good. But hopefully, with the passing of every birthday, you come to a place of wanting to strengthen the good and weaken the bad.
Like with me, one thing that I know is a character trait of mine is I'm a big giver; so much so that I used to be codependent and also mad resentful when I would realize that some relationships were constantly taking me for granted. When I finally got to the point and place of accepting that it really is true that you teach people how to treat you, I started to set boundaries. I started to express what I expected out of my relationships and I learned how to only say "yes" if I knew I wasn't going to regret not saying "no" later. I also learned how to find the balance in doing things out of the goodness of my heart vs. doing things in hopes that someone would care about me as much as I cared about them. Mastering this has helped to keep me from becoming jaded and bitter; it has helped me to protect my giving spirit.
If you don't make a point to protect your good character traits, you can best believe that your bad ones will start to take over—maybe even overpower the good. That's why it's so important to take the time out to ponder what your good traits are and what you can (and should) do in order to make sure that those particular traits remain intact.
2. Your Energy
In the simplest form, energy is power. There is someone I know who says that he responds or reacts to other people based on the energy that they give him. Honestly, a lot of folks would probably say the same thing. However, the challenge with that is, if you take energy at its core definition, that means someone has the power to shift your power…and that's giving them a lot of power in your life (too much if you ask me!). In an article that I read entitled, "The People Factor: It's All About Energy", the author stated, "Understanding how people affect you means that you can do a better job matching what you need at any given moment to what your energy requires." I totally agree with that.
Something that I used to have in my space, a lot, both personally and professionally, were narcissistic individuals (check out "What If It's Your Parents Who Happen To Be The Narcissists?" and "3 Warning Signs You're In Love With A Narcissist"). Because I didn't know the traits—and agenda—of narcissists at the time, I didn't get why a lot of relationships had me emotionally drained and sometimes very depressed. But baby, after a year of studying narcissistic abuse, I get it. I realize that a part of what a narcissist does is look for people's power sources to take as their own. And so now, the people who I know are narcissists, I keep a safe distance from. Also, when I recognize that someone is showing red flags of being one, I mentally and emotionally remove myself. I don't try and "compete" with narcissistic energy or even try and change the individual (most of them can't without therapy anyway). I simply make sure to not give them my power (including my time, resources or emotional investment).
A wise person once said, "Certain people and their toxic energy can block you from expanding, elevating and vibrating higher. Detach and protect your energy." One definition of power is the "ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something". Anything or anyone who is constantly a stumbling block or hinderance for you in this area, they are someone who is working against, not for you. Protect your energy and release them (check out "Why I Don't 'Cut People Off' Anymore, I Release Them Instead" to see what I mean by that)—whether that be for a time or forever.
(By the way, if you want to learn a bit more about the kind of energy that you have, overall, take the personality test, "What Kind of Live Energy Do You Have?". I took it and it was pretty spot-on.)
3. Your Humor
Anytime I'm talking to someone and they say, "You're hilarious", I find that to be one of the best compliments ever. Not only does it remind me that I am able to see the joy in life in spite of a lot of what I have been through, but I know that a good sense of humor is beneficial to our mental, emotional and physical well-being. You can read articles like "Stress relief from laughter? It's no joke", "A good sense of humor is a sign of psychological health" and "A sense of humor could mean you're a healthier, happier, and smarter person" to confirm this fact. Meanwhile, there is a particular person in my family who is basically the humor police. It's not so much that they lack a sense of humor as they want to "regulate" what everyone else should think is fun or funny. Ugh. Not only is that controlling as all get out (I am not you and you are not me; chill out), but it's also a slick way of trying to keep others from protecting a part of their spirit.
Yep, believe it or not, humor is another part of your spiritual being. Make sure that you laugh often. Make sure you surround yourself around others who do the same. And, if there are people who are constantly bringing your joy down, can't take a joke or need to freakin' lighten up—realign your boundaries and how much time you spend in their presence. In times like these, humor is not a luxury; it is an absolute necessity.
4. Your Attitude
When I'm tired (the weary kind). Two days before my period. Right after a long writing day. For about 12 hours after processing a disappointment. Those are the times when my attitude can be a bit stank. I'm self-aware enough to know that. What I used to selfishly do is subject people to whatever mood, words and actions came with my foulness. Now I know that I'm not protecting others when I do that and so I retreat in solitude until I can get myself together.
For the most part, your attitude is all about how you choose to express yourself at any given moment. And since there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that negativity can be quite contagious, it's important that you protect your "self-expression" by 1) knowing who and what triggers you; 2) discovering tactics that others use in order to do it (check out "Gaslighting, Love Bombing & 5 Other Triggers To Call Out In Your Relationships"); 3) taking care of your physical health (check out "In A Bad Mood? These Foods Will Lift Your Spirits!") and 4) disciplining yourself so that your emotions don't control you, you control them.
A lot of us have missed out on all kinds of good things due to our bad attitude; that's the bad news. The good news is we each have the power to protect ourselves so that our attitude can remain positive and productive. Always make sure to keep that in mind.
5. Your Enthusiasm
These days, when someone asks me what should be a deal-breaker in a relationship, one of the things that I say with, pardon the pun, off-the-charts enthusiasm is, well, enthusiasm. I can't tell you how many married couples I deal with who are on the verge of ending things and a big part of it is because they feel like their spouse lacks enthusiasm ("intense and eager enjoyment, interest, or approval"). It could be a lack of enthusiasm when it comes to their goals and dreams. It could be lack of enthusiasm in the bedroom. It could be a lack of enthusiasm in them, period.
While on the surface, enthusiasm may not seem like all that big of a deal, the reality is, it's hard to start or finish things in excellence if enthusiasm is lacking. That's why you need folks who are supportive, who totally have your back and who are consistently cheering you along the way.
Ladies, I hate to say it, but oftentimes the lack of enthusiasm in a marriage tends to come from our side (at least with marriages I deal with). Again, enthusiasm makes up our spirit man (and woman), so it's natural for us to want to build up walls against people who lack enjoyment, interest and approval of us. If you are an enthusiasm-drainer, there's no time like the present to change that. If you're wasting precious time trying to get others to be enthusiastic about you and what you've got going on…that's definitely something to think long and hard about because it is definitely doing a number on your spirit. Not in a good way either, sis.
6. Your Heart
This one is interesting because, oftentimes, when people (especially women), think of their heart, they think of it in the context of love and relationships. Since that is the case, I will say that one way to protect your heart is to actually learn from your past experiences. When it comes to brokenness, people, especially women, are actually pretty resilient. It's not usually one person who takes us out but a pattern that we've been repeating and/or ignoring. If that sentence just "pricked" you on some level, make sure that you take heed to what you're allowing to be done over and over that is harming you—mind, body and/or soul.
However, by definition, your heart is the center of your emotions. And while, I'm personally not big on letting our emotions rule our decisions (shoot, even the Bible warns us to not follow our heart because it has the tendency to be deceitful—Jeremiah 17:9-10), I do like how one article stated that our emotions are how we communicate to other people. So, you know what that means, right? Since a good communicator listens well; practices empathy with others; seeks clarity; is aware of their body language; is knowledgeable in what they speak on and about; can be the teacher as well as the student when necessary; is tone-conscious; tries to avoid misunderstandings as much as possible; pays attention to patterns; can receive constructive criticism and, is open to receiving new ideas—you have to protect your heart by surrounding yourself with people who strive to communicate well with you as you seek to do the same thing with them.
A lot of personal and professional relationships are destroyed due to poor communication. At the end of the day, it's because people don't recognize how much bad communication damages the spirit.
7. Your Resolve
OK, let me start this one off by saying, it's one thing to be resolved; it's another thing to be stubborn. Don't confuse the two. It's an epidemic, how many people are so prideful and egotistical that they can't be advised on anything. That is definitely not what I'm referring to here. No, what I mean by resolve is "to come to a definite or earnest decision about" your core values, needs and how you want to live out your life's purpose. If you are single and desire a life partner, before you can find someone who truly complements you, you've got to be resolved in who you are as a person.
And, when it comes to resolve overall, it's easier to figure out what you want your personal and professional life to look like once you are resolved in what you desire out of this life. Yeah, it makes total sense why resolve is a synonym for spirit. Our decisions determine the quality of our life.
A lot of information is provided on how to care for one's body. But what does that matter if our spirit is damaged? It's not only relevant to protect your spirit, it is essential. So much of who you are is within your spirit. Protect it—without reservation or apology. Those who honor your spirit will only support—and respect—you for doing so. Make sure you do the same for them. Again, spirit is life.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
I've Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul
Here's How To Stop Worrying So Freakin' Much
What Loving Yourself Actually Looks Like
What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?
Feature image by Shutterstock
- Jhené Aiko's Vibrational Healing Will Get Your Chakras All The Way ... ›
- How My Trip To New Orleans Awakened A New Spiritual Path ... ›
- How To Get Out Of A Bad Mood Fast - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Spiritual Things New Orleans Trip To Do - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Protecting Your Spirit and Your Sanity : Yoli's Green Living ›
- How to Create Healthy Boundaries and Protect Your Energy ›
- Protecting Your Energy and Your Aura ›
- How to Create A Spiritual Protection for You and Your Home? - Eye ... ›
- Going Beyond Ministries with Priscilla Shirer - Protecting Your ... ›
- 9 Steps on How to Protect Yourself Spiritually - Forensic Healing ›
- Tips for Sensitive People to Protect Their Energy | Psychology Today ›
- 10 Ways to Strengthen and Protect Your Spiritual Magnetism ... ›
- Protecting Your Spiritual Energy ›
- 8 powerful ways to protect your spiritual energy - Earthmonk ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Why Do Millennials & Gen-Zers Still Feel Like Teenagers? The Pandemic Might Be The Reason.
There’s nothing quite as humbling as navigating adulthood with no instruction manual. Since the turn of the decade, it seems like everything in our society that could go wrong has, inevitably, gone wrong. From the global pandemic, our crippling student debt problem, the loneliness crisis, layoffs, global warming, recession, and not to mention figuring out what to eat for dinner every night. This constant state of uncertainty has many of us wondering, when are the grown-ups coming to fix all of this?
But the catch is, we are the new grown-ups.
As if it happened without our permission, we became the new adults. We are the members of society who are paying taxes, having children, getting married, and keeping our communities afloat, one iced latte at a time. Still, there’s something about doing all these grown-up duties that feel unnaturally grown-up. Enter the #teenagegirlinher20s.
If there’s one hashtag to give you the state of the next cohort of adults, it’s this one. Of the videos that have garnered over 3.9M views, you’ll find a collection of users who are overwhelmed by life’s pressing existential responsibilities, clung to nostalgia, and reminiscent of the days when their mom and dad took care of their insurance plans.
@charlies444ngel no like i cant explain to her why i had to buy multiple tank air dupes from aritzia #teenagegirlinher20s #fyp
The concept of being a 20-something or 30-something teenager is linked to the sentiment of not feeling “grown up enough” to do grown-up things while feeling underprepared and even nihilistic about whether that preparation even matters.
It’s our generation’s version of when we ask our grandmothers how old they are and they simply reply with, “I still feel 45,” all while being every bit of 76 years old. In this, we share a warped concept of time while clinging to a desire for infantilization.
Granted, the pandemic did a number on our concept of time. Many of us who started the pandemic in our early or mid-20s missed out on three fundamental years of socialization, career development, and personal milestones that traditionally help to mark our growth.
Our time to figure out and plan our next steps through fumbling yet active participation was put on pause indefinitely and then resumed provisionally. This in turn has left many of us hanging in the balance of uncertainty as we try to make sense of the disconnect between our minds and bodies in this missing gap of time.
Because we’re all still figuring out what the ramifications of being locked away and frozen in time by a global pandemic will have on us as a society, there really is no “right” way of making up for lost time. Feeling unprepared for any new chapter of life is a natural rite of passage, pandemic or not. However, it’s important to not stay stuck in the last age or period of life that made sense to us because self-growth is the truest evidence of personal progress.
So whether you’re leaning on your inner child, teenager, or 20-something for guidance as you fill the gap between your real age and pandemic age, know that it’s okay to grieve the person you thought you would be and the milestones you thought you’d hit before you ever knew what a pandemic was. If there’s anything that the pandemic taught us, it’s that we have the power to reimagine a better world and life for ourselves. And if we tap into our inner teenager as a compass, we can piece together our next chapter with a fresh outlook.
Sure, we’ve lost a couple of years, but there are still some really amazing ones ahead.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Stephen Zeigler/Getty Images