

I lost my job at 3 p.m., and in less than 24 hours, I booked a one-way flight to Europe.
After the gut punch shock of losing my income and healthcare sunk in, I accepted the moment for what it could be, an opportunity. The chance to travel and explore new countries and cultures unrestricted.
The idea of this trip had been swirling in my mind for months. Yet, the way that I envisioned the trip would only happen by robbing Peter to pay Paul (meaning I would have to use some of next year's vacation time), complete with some haggling from HR and my manager.
My job was remote, so I had the flexibility to bring my laptop with me, but can we be honest… who wants to be in the South of France dragging their laptop and clocking in for eight hours when I should be living the luxurious side of life on the French Riviera?
So, before I updated my resume and before I refreshed my LinkedIn profile, I logged into Google Flights to bring my travel dream into reality.
The Defining Moment
I was working at a startup, which is code for "This job is going to take over your life because you're helping to breathe life into a completely new operation." Vacation days were limited because we were a small team, and the American feeling of "This company needs me" took over. I poured myself into my job, excited to be a part of this grand new vision, and accepted that a true vacation would come later on. "Later on" never came. Instead, my company ceased operations and filed for bankruptcy. Now, I was left with no job, and the saved PTO days that were intended for my fabulous vacation were rendered null and void.
Losing a job is unnerving for a number of reasons, but when the whole company closes up shop, it takes away from the feeling that it was something you personally could have done better. Surprisingly it was my mother who gave me the suggestion to "take that trip you've been talking about."
Mother knows best, right? She gently reminded me that I had a life that was now completely mine. The sobering reality of being an adult is no more true summer vacations… every day is accounted for, a task to fulfill. Her optimism was contagious; yes, I was no longer employed, but also that meant there was no supervisor that I had to "ask" for time off or try to arrange around other coworkers' requests.
It was time to live in the now instead of planning for a future that was full of uncertainties. The recruiters, the job, and whatever was coming next would be there when I returned.
The Lesson
There is freedom in uncertainty, in not rushing to put the pieces back together the minute life unravels. Too often, we move into a new chapter without taking a moment to let ourselves be untethered. I could have easily reached out to my network and started looking for my next job, but if I did that, I would have lost out on the opportunity that was right in front of me.
Sure, it did not come packaged in a way that I would have preferred, but it was there. I could either go immediately back to another 9 to 5 or whisk myself away to the corners of the earth that I’ve been dreaming about since I was a child.
So, I booked a four-country, eight-city European tour.
Living in the Now: My European Tour
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Ireland
In elementary school, my music teacher played Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance, and decades later, that captivating memory is what brought me a solo, Black woman traveler to the Irish countryside, where I found myself being whisked around on stage in front of hundreds living out my Riverdance dreams! I was suddenly living out my wildest dreams.
For three nights, I stayed in a 17th-century castle bursting with history through every winding corridor and ended the trip in Dublin right in the heart of Temple Bar. For the 20- and 30-somethings outside of St. Patrick's Day, Ireland is not at the top of destination lists, but from the rolling hills in the countryside to the late nights in Dublin, the country offered an unforgettable experience.
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Germany
I knew Ireland would be the first stop of my tour, but from there, I was open to wherever, as the saints would say, the spirit led me. I simply looked at a map and researched which country I could travel to relatively easily from Ireland. Germany was an immediate yes. I started off in the capital, Berlin, a city known for its eye-catching contrasts with historical landmarks alongside towering modern architecture.
I leisurely strolled through the city into museums and galleries, soaking up everything the city had to offer. The next stop was the third largest city in Germany, Munich, home of Oktoberfest. From floral-lined beer gardens to my fill of hearty German dishes, Munich delivered a unique blend of quaintness and charm.
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Austria
From Munich, I traveled on a two-hour train ride to a city that rivals the grandest storybook illustrations, the idyllic Salzburg. The fourth-largest city in Austria, Salzburg, effortlessly boasts itself as one of the most beautiful cities in Europe with its steep hills and picturesque mountains. Its scenery is breathtaking.
Here I lived out another childhood fantasy, and I visited the home of the Von Trapp family, the legendary family whose life was portrayed in the classic film, The Sound of Music. On a tour bus with 50 others from across the globe, we belted out tunes from the beloved musical and visited the exact locations where scenes from the Oscar-winning movie were filmed.
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Monaco
There is luxury, and then there is Monaco. With its lavish opulence situated on the French Riviera, the glamorous country is the second smallest country in the world. Complete with dazzling views of the Mediterranean and luxury brands on every corner, in every step, you experience how the other side fabulously thrives.
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
South of France
Next, I ventured into the South of France to Cannes, home of the iconic International Film Festival, which ironically was taking place when I arrived. I rendezvoused with film professionals and journalists from around the globe as the city buzzed with anticipation of the films that would soon take Hollywood by storm.
When the cameras go off, Cannes is still an extravagant treat to the senses with its white sand beaches and crystal-clear waters. I relaxed with the other tourists that flock to the city for a luxury getaway.
Paris
My final stop was a city that pulls my heartstrings no matter where I am. The City of Lights, Paris. I am a lover of French culture and ended my European tour in my favorite city in the world.
My tour cannot be simplified into an Eat, Pray, Love moment. I was not seeking out an in-depth journey of self-discovery. Instead, I gave myself the freedom to fully explore new cultures in countries rich and diverse in their history and their present. I was unencumbered by what was happening at a job and completely free to set travel dates to my liking.
So often, we get stuck in the rat race of life, working towards the next big deal or positioning ourselves for the next big promotion, that we forget there is an exciting world full of promises of adventure outside of our cubicle. According to the Pew Research Center, nearly half of American workers take less paid time off than they are offered. That, coupled with the already incredibly low days Americans are offered in the beginning, shuts us off from the gems around the world.
Courtesy of Brittany Vickers
My story, hopefully, will not be yours. (Bills must be paid! So keep that job when you can, sis!) You don’t need a shattering experience like mine to free yourself from the everyday, just book that flight and experience a slice of the beauty and adventure this world has to offer.
I want to leave you with this quote from one of my favorite novelists, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie:
“You travel to search, and you come back home to find yourself there.”
Months later, back home and settled into the groove of a new job, I am still smiling at the memories made. Remembering the bar in Ireland where locals sang a traditional song in Gaelic to me at the top of their lungs as I drank my first Irish-crafted beer or the lovely couple who invited me to lunch with them in Monaco and the cute French guy who passed me on a Paris street and dropped what he was doing to ask me out for a glass of wine.
Those experiences and each one of those cities are now forever in my heart and helped to remind me of the thrill that comes when you step into the unknown.
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Featured image courtesy of Brittany Vickers
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
'When You Build It, They Can’t Tell You You Can’t Sit': DJ Miss Milan, Marsai Martin & More Talk Confidence
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit wasn’t just another branded panel event—it was an inspiring, sometimes emotional, and always honest look at what it really takes to rise, thrive, and stay at the top. From Olympians to entrepreneurs, artists to execs, the room was full of powerful women sharing the real stories behind their highlight reels. I walked away moved by their vulnerability, strength, and refusal to dim their light.
Here are some of my favorite takeaways from three standout panels featuring Jordan Chiles, Marsai Martin, and Kandi Burruss.
Leveling Up Your A-Game with Jordan Chiles, Morgan Shaw Parker, Chelsea Fishman, Laura Correnti, and Tabitha Turner-Wilkins
Jordan Chiles
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
Olympic gymnast Jordan may have medals and magazine covers to her name, but her mindset is refreshingly grounded. “The day I finally feel pressure,” she said, “will be the day I know there’s still more for me to learn.” For her, joy—not pressure—is the fuel. Her confidence isn’t performative; it’s rooted in family, self-worth, and authenticity.
“Everything I’ve done in my career—tattoos, long nails, rocking my crew at the Olympics—that’s all me. It’s not because someone told me to do it. It’s because I felt confident doing it. And that’s where my ambition comes from: being my authentic self.”
For Morgan Shaw Parker, President & COO of the Atlanta Dream, the conversation around pressure went even deeper. “Legacy work” is how she described her mission—navigating male-dominated spaces, sometimes pregnant and pumping on NFL team planes. “After COVID and George Floyd,” she shared, “it became clear to me: vulnerability is power. You don’t have to show up perfect to lead.”
Chelsea Fishman, founder of Atlanta's first bar dedicated to women’s sports, Jolene Jolene, shared how the haters (especially the Reddit kind) were her confirmation: “All those comments saying it would fail—those were the signs that I was doing something right.” She’s hosted 25+ watch parties already and is building the very community they said would never come.
This panel also touched on ambition, authenticity, and owning your power—both in sneakers and in suits. One of the best mic-drop moments came when the moderator flipped the question: “What if we stopped making ‘power’ a bad word for women?” A nod-worthy reminder that we’re not here to play small.
Making Your Voice Heard with Marsai Martin, Carol Martin, Miss Milan, and Heather McMahan
Marsai Martin
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
This panel was a masterclass in staying grounded while growing up—or glamming up—on the global stage. Actress and producer Marsai talked about what it’s like to show up in high-pressure moments when your confidence is low but the world is still watching. From red carpets to long shoot days, she reminded us that even when you’re not at 100%, you still find a way to push through.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Her mom and business partner Carol Martin dropped gems about motherhood and mentorship: “It’s like teaching your kid to ride a bike over and over again. Now the bike is a movie or a brand.” That balance between guiding and letting go? Not easy—but essential when you’re raising a mogul and running a company.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Miss Milan, Grammy Award-winning DJ and Doechii’s right-hand woman, lit the crowd up with her no-nonsense energy. “I built my own table,” she said. “When you build it, they can’t tell you you can’t sit.” From journaling her dreams to manifesting Grammys, her story is one of resilience and intention—and a whole lot of faith in her own vision.
This panel didn’t shy away from hard truths either: the sadness that can come with success, the fear of fading relevance, the criticism that hits differently when it’s personal. But Marsai said it best: know your why. And let it evolve with you.
The Cost of Starting Your Own Business with Kandi Burruss and Nikki Ogunnaike
Kandi Burruss
Carol Lee Rose/ Getty Images for Marie ClaireKandi doesn’t sugarcoat the grind. From chart-topping songwriter to multi-business entrepreneur, she’s built her empire one risk—and one reinvention—at a time.
“Fear equals failure. If you don’t even try, you’ve failed automatically —and you did it to yourself. I’d rather take a risk and lose money than play it safe and never know what could’ve happened.”
She broke down the real costs of entrepreneurship: money, time, and emotional bandwidth. “You think you’re going to work less when you work for yourself?” she laughed. “You’re going to work more.” For Kandi, mommy guilt and financial setbacks are part of the package—but so is the satisfaction of seeing an idea through.
She opened up about scaling back on her clothing store and temporarily closing the original Old Lady Gang location. “It felt like failure,” she admitted, “but sometimes you have to step back to make things better.” Still, she’s not one to quit. She just pivots—with precision.
One of her most memorable reflections? How her music career hiccup led her to songwriting—ultimately writing the mega-hit “No Scrubs.” That song became the key to a new lane and legacy. “You may think you’re working on one dream,” she said, “but it could open the door to another.”
Also? Kandi wants you to stop emailing her from a Gmail. “You’re doing million-dollar business on a bootleg budget,” she joked. “Invest in yourself. Start with a domain name!”
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit was a powerful reminder that ambition, authenticity, and vulnerability aren’t separate traits—they work in tandem. Whether you’re building a bar, a brand, or a business from scratch, the key is to stay rooted in your voice, your story, and your why.
And if you need a sign to go for it? Consider this your green light.
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Feature image by Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play