The warm weather, fresh energy, longer days, and renewed social energy have made the phrase “we outside” echo through the internet streets, signifying collective reemergence. Over the last few months, many of us have taken a prolonged period of solitude and healing to cultivate a new season of our lives. And now that summer has arrived, it’s only right that we take our newly evolved selves outside for all the world to see.
When we say we’re outside, it’s not just in the physical sense; it’s in the way we’re showing up and showcasing the new us. At times, the healing process can cause us to be so wrapped up in identifying our trauma and balancing the weight of shame that we can forget to enjoy the progress we’ve already made.
Healing doesn’t just happen through shadow work and insolation. Just like spring follows winter, after dealing with the darkness of our healing, we need to have a little fun. Could it be that for the summer, you take time to enjoy being outside of your mind, outside of needing to constantly improve, and outside of your sad-girl era?
Thriving in the summer means putting down the self-help books and picking up a hobby. It means applying what you’ve learned through therapy to connect with your friends and community. It means saying yes to the things that the “old” version of you would turn down due to self-doubt and fear.
It’s releasing the fear of being perceived and embodying the social, happy, and bold version of yourself.
You didn’t do all that healing for you to keep it to yourself. That’s why we’re sharing a few ways to embrace your outside season and thrive in the summer months ahead:
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Reconnect with the outdoors.
In this case, when we say, "We outside,” we mean it literally. The summertime is the perfect time to take advantage of the warmer weather by spending more time outdoors. Whether it's hiking in the mountains, strolling through a local park, enjoying a picnic, or immersing yourself in nature. Grab your bike, get a pair of roller skates, or even join a local running club. Be active and get social.
Meet new people in person.
We know how cringy the thought of making eye contact with a stranger can be these days, but the love of your life or a new friend could be on the other side of a hello or compliment. When you go out, don’t just keep to yourself or the people you came to the function with; mingle with the people outside with you or go to an event or happy hour by yourself. You never know what new connection could come from it.
Explore new hobbies.
The best way to overcome boredom is to get your hands busy with a new hobby. Channel your inner aficionados and pick up a playful trade that can enrich your alone time. From painting to pottery, crafting to crocheting, and even hiking or gardening, trying your hand at something new not only gives you something to look forward to but can add to your summer resume.
Create a summer bucket list.
The good thing about the summer is that it gives you a time phrase to put all of your social events into. Creating a summer bucket list is the perfect way to organize all of your summer plans to ensure you're making the most of the extended sunlight and radiant energy. Add attractions you want to visit, restaurants you want to try, concerts you want to attend, and goals you want to hit and watch the memories be made.
Release your inner social butterfly.
There’s something about the summer that makes us instantly more social. So why not use this time to get in your hosting bag and be the friend that connects friends over dinners, drinks, and game nights? Enter your hosting era by throwing a pool party, barbecue, beach day, or plan a weekend getaway. These shared experiences can help rebuild social bonds, help form new connections, and be someone’s reason to get dressed up and mingle.
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RELATED
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
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Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022