Living in Los Angeles I’ve grown accustomed to clear sunny skies and perfect temperatures most of the year; however that doesn’t stop us from wanting the full winter experience. Rarely dropping below 60 degrees, when given a chance, we don’t hesitate to either bring out our flyest cold weather clothes or freeze in our year-round attire. If you’re a last-minute shopper like me or could just use a seasonal wardrobe update, there’s still time for a winter refresh.
Stocking up on fashionable yet practical clothing items that I can wear year after year is necessary to keep my closet from overflowing with bulky items I’ll hardly ever wear. From quilted pants to chunky boots, it's finally time to put on a few of my favorite winter purchases that can keep up with not only the weather but my busy everyday life. Scroll to find the key fashion items to embrace the semi-cold LA weather in style this season.
1. Quilted Pants
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
These olive green vintage quilted liner pants are perfect for a winter in LA and beyond. Extremely comfortable, stylish, and uniquely designed, they can be worn throughout a range of temperatures this season. For cool sunny days, pair with a cropped top, oversized blazer, and platform Doc Marten boots for the ultimate weekender look.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
2. Chunky Boots
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
My favorite footwear trend, chunky soles are here to stay throughout the remainder of winter 2022. Pairing these two-toned platform boots with gray leggings and a cropped quilted jacket, I’m serving my best ski-inspired look. No matter your location, you’ll get plenty of wear rain or shine.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
3. Puffer Coat
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
The puffer coat (or puffer jacket) remains one of the most popular outerwear trends, even for LA girls. While it is hardly ever cold enough to wear without overheating, for a cozy and casual look, this winter classic makes sweatpants and sneakers look so good. Wearing my go-to sweats 90% of the time, I love adding this extra layer for a more stylish approach.
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
Featured image by Shahirah Ahmed/xoNecole
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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