Weirdly, I've noticed that although big boobs are coveted, our fave fast fashion companies and lingerie lines don't cater to the admiration. And I'm not sure if it still comes down to some weird fashion fetish where smaller is better, but it sucks. It's yet another way society works to reinforce the narrative that you have to give up a certain niche of style and fashion if and when your body doesn't fit the standard of beauty set by industry folk. I believe this is why there have been very few lasting solutions that give women cleavage while lifting their breasts. Sure, I could be reaching...buuut I'm not.
But I digress because this here isn't political, not today. This is bottled up excitement and joy that I'm ready to reveal to the world.
You should know that my boobs have always been on the larger side. Yet, as God lays this grown woman weight on me thick as ever, my boobs have come to defy gravity. And as much as I prayed for days like this, I have to say that the newfound thickness comes with a whole new set of challenges. Also, if I'm keeping it all the way real, age is likely another factor as I'm sure the elasticity on these bad boys is not that of my 14-year-old self.
As someone who likes to free the nipple and titty whenever the opportunity presents, I've had to try all the tricks in the trade from double-sided tape to that Kim Kardashian tape hack.
Courtesy of Kiarra Sylvester
Still, I almost always end up with tape showing, peeling back, or saggy boobs – it's always, always a sacrificial ceremony. If you want to wear a plunging neckline, you can go braless and sag. Or, you can wear a bra and be a "tacky" heux (word to all the old heads). Or, you say no to little cute tops. Pick one, but never both and you better pick right. Until recently!
Thanks to the interweb's creepy algorithm that creates ad experiences based on my search history, I happily stumbled across the best things since Apple pie: Misses Kisses Frontless Bra. As far as I'm concerned the product creator, Amanda Marie, deserves a Noble Peace Prize for this one. Not only has she solved the never-ending conundrum of being a big boobed babe, but the fact that the bra is for long-term use – well, that's undoubtedly way, way better for the planet than all the stickies and other bullshit solutions used to lift and shift the girls. And this is a take I will stand on until the very end and the "why" can be summed up in two words: it works!
But because I'm a woman of many words I'm going to give you a few more "whys" to make this a well-rounded, soul- and titty-snatching review.
The Rundown
Unboxing
Upon receiving and unpackaging the bra, you might be a little terrified. At first glance, there are a good amount of moving parts and a big ass wire piece. It comes in a cute satin carry case, equipped with two regular pads (black or nude), four anti-slip stickies, and one lone strap. The one-size-fits-most (30B to 44J) bra comes in three different options: Shallow, Moderate, and Deep (currently out of stock). I have found that in almost all cases I can get away with the Moderate Plunge Bra Kit. When I can, I opt for the shallow plunge because it doesn't sit as low on my belly as the Moderate.
At 5'1'', the Moderate Bra dips into my gut, which is a major reason Amanda reassured me that I didn't need to get the deep plunge. Otherwise, the bra is no less comfortable than any other. It reminds me of a wire bra but it's far less restrictive because there are no straps. That alone eliminates a great deal of discomfort and pressure that is typically misplaced on the body.
Setting Up
Post-fitting with Amanda, I continued to reference the video while tinkering with my bra and setting up another. The more I practiced, the more intuitive it became. The "training wheels" strap that comes with the bra was very helpful in providing peace of mind the first couple of wears. As previously mentioned, this is a frontless backless bra made for all the oddly-cut shirts in your closet. With that in mind, there's definitely an adjustment period where it feels a little too free and while I was in that period, the strap helped provide a feeling of safety.
The pair of pads that you receive will be placed on your side-boob to help round out your breasts. The tutorial iterates that when they're pushed together, they lose volume and the pads aim to eliminate this. In my experience, the regular size pads didn't do it for me but this was something I figured rather quickly with the help of Amanda during my fitting. Because I was unsure of my cup size at the time of the fitting, I wasn't positive which pads I needed. But once I switched the standard out for those, all was right and I had an easier time situating the bra to fall near my nipple but not on it as instructed.
Let me add, that depending on various factors from breast and nipple size to the cut/angling of the top, you may find that you need pasties and double-sided wig tape to keep your breast nicely tucked away. I have found that this is usually necessary with spandex, stretchy materials that snapback (basically anything Fashion Nova). But with my plunging sweaters, I am able to pop on the bra and go with zero manipulation. This is not a reflection of the bra, but the breast and gravity. Regardless of what you need, I will say Misses Kisses and their founder are a one-stop-shop. Which brings me to the next thing...the glowing customer service exhibited throughout this process.
The Fitting and the Figurehead
Courtesy of Kiarra Sylvester
Honestly, not sure if I've ever received such amazing customer service in my life. Despite being a smaller-scale operation that requires all hands on deck, Amanda made herself available to do a fitting and customizable tutorial to help me get my MK bra to fit snuggly to my breasts. Because she is based in Los Angeles, we were able to do the session via video chat. And if you happen to live in LA, well, even better because the fitting is a service that is offered to all buyers who may need an extra hand after watching the tutorial. Throughout the entire process of writing this review, I was able to contact Amanda with any and all questions that I had, from how to properly store the bra to sending her pics to confirm I got it right. We were practically BFFs after the Facetime fitting, in the way that I demand anyone who has seen my boobs on the first "hang" to be.
And yes, if you opt for a video fitting it does require a level of comfort with both your own nudity as well as Amanda's because she essentially talks you through everything while you mirror her movements. It's worth noting, additionally, she was really great about being professional and there wasn't a moment I felt uncomfortable during this fitting. She does check-in to ensure you're comfortable with nudity beforehand and that's always a positive. As you may have noticed, common sense in customer service isn't always easy to come by. So it must be stated that she is considerate in the most basic, but necessary ways.
When it's all said and done the product is very customizable, which is what makes this product such a success in my opinion. Well, that and the fact that however you customize it, it does exactly what it's supposed to. Think back to when your mother would buy you oversized clothes so you could "grow into them" way back when? Well, for $125 here is a bra that allows you to grow with it. This is ideal for human beings period, as we know weight fluctuates but especially for us women. From PMS symptoms to pregnancy, and whatever else life throws at us in the name of womanhood--we deserve to feel and look our best. And if you've ever purchased a bra made for larger breasts, then you know the price point is well within reason for its magical, transformative ways.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our weekly newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
I'm A 34GG & Here's My Review Of 4 Size-Inclusive Bras
I Tried It: I Went Braless For A Week
#SaggyBoobsMatter: This Movement Encourages Women To Love Their Saggy Boobs
Featured image by writer Kiarra Sylvester
- I Tried It: Misses Kisses Frontless Bra Review - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- Amazing Facts About Nipples - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
Courtesy
When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
Courtesy
When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
Courtesy
Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Feature image courtesy
Between the election cycle, trauma, workplace environment, and expectations placed upon us by society, Black women are existing in a world where our lived experiences result in higher rates of chronic stress. In tandem with that reality, are Black women leading the charge in the wellness industry for a world that centers our health and wellness needs, but who cares for those leaders and supports them?
Oftentimes, they do the work themselves. xoNecole talked with several wellness founders who own adaptogenic beauty brands, intergenerational wellness collectives, nonprofit organizations, and wellness apps. Here's what they shared about how they center themselves when emotions are high and they feel dysregulated.
Remind Myself I Deserve A Calm Nervous System
"A year ago, I made a decision that I refused to be in a constant state of anxiety while running a wellness company. You're probably thinking that should be a given, right? But it's so easy to become overwhelmed by your business's daily responsibilities and overall growth goals and ultimately put your needs on the back burner. What regulates me and brings me back to myself are the daily habits that gave me the life and community I have now—starting my day with prayer and exercise, swimming weekly, baths by candlelight, listening to neo-soul and jazz to end my day.
"But most importantly, I've learned to remind myself that when I feel overwhelmed, I deserve a calm nervous system. I don't have to let every change, every decision, every obstacle, every uncomfortable conversation rattle me. I ground myself in that and remind myself daily that being dysregulated doesn't serve me."
Music, Scents, & Breathwork
"As a founder, it's easy to 'push through' and ignore your true emotional state because you're on a mission. But my true purpose is to live well and show others that we all deserve to live well. Music, scent, and breathwork are my most frequently used tools for emotional regulation. Music can get me through anything. Scents—whether they be perfume, diffused oils, or candles—ground me. Breathwork saves me from spiraling. My practices are extremely simple, but they work for me."
Time to Myself
"As a wellness founder, I regulate myself emotionally on a daily basis by putting on my favorite record, taking a hot shower, watching my favorite show, and eating foods that comfort me. It honestly depends on the day, but generally, it's whatever will bring me joy for a moment and allow me to zone out. I really need that time to myself—to just be—in order to pour back into my community."
"By challenging myself to view my negative anxious thoughts with self-compassion and grace, I create space to validate the way I feel but reframe the thought to be more balanced and supportive. Example: 'I can't believe I dropped the ball on that' after being challenged and reframed turns into 'Baby girl, you are trying the best you - remember you only have only two hands.' Or, 'I failed' turns into 'Sis, you tried.'"
Moving My Body
"One way I emotionally regulate as a wellness founder is through movement. I spent about five years doing talk therapy, and I made a lot of breakthroughs, but now, in my 30s and this era in my life, I realize how much stagnant energy is really just a matter of me literally moving my body. So exercising, walking, and making sure I'm not sedentary has done wonders for me to ground myself daily. Right now, I'm really enjoying taking sculpt classes, low-impact cardio, and hot yoga. I always feel better after I move my body; it's therapeutic."
Practice What I Preach
"Managing daily stress and anxiety varies for me depending on my personal and professional seasons. My three go-to self-care strategies are reminding myself that rest is productive and actually resting, prioritizing my weekly tasks, and taking a few minutes for breathwork. It's important to me to practice what I encourage others in my community to do."
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Featured image by Rob Kim/Getty Images for Global Connections for Women Foundation or GC4W