Women have always been powerful in their own right.
It is only recently that we have truly been owning that power in a truly revolutionary way. With all the girl boss books, female anthems, and calls from Beyoncé to get coordinated – there is no excuse to feel anything but empowered in your womanhood. We are successful in our own rights, we are breaking boundaries, and writing our own rules to live rich and fulfilling lives. The future is no doubt female.
As women of today, we can do whatever we want, be whoever we want, and have whatever we want. By extension, we can also have whoever we want. Enter, the high value woman.
She is strong, she is independent, and she knows what she wants out of life and strives to get it. She is a force to be reckoned with. A queen among queens and when you encounter her energy, she casts a spell that makes her so memorable, she's impossible to forget. It's deeper than physical beauty – it's an aura that she exudes.
Read on for the 5 traits of a high value woman and find out how to slay the dating game.
The high value woman doesn't equate her worth to sex.
As a woman, your worth isn't tied to your vagina. Women's bodies have always been theirs without truly belonging to them. Sex has culturally been a determining factor that insecure men draw a false sense of power from and thereby feel the need to base a woman's worth on her body count or lack thereof. But who gave a man that power? *Cue Queen Mother Erykah Badu* Certainly, not me.
The high value woman knows her worth without relying on a man to validate her worth or value. The high value woman doesn't let what others think of her dictate how she lives her life. The high value woman doesn't use sex as collateral and instead makes decisions for her body based on her wants, independent of what anyone else says in attempts to try to police – whether it is celibacy, abstinence, or sex three times a week.
A high value woman transforms sexuality into what it is, a vessel of self-expression and intimacy, as opposed to a commodity. She is aware that the aspect of her that a man should really be worried about acquiring is her exclusivity. That's the real prize.
The high value woman is confident.
While confidence can be faked until it's made, authentic and deeply felt self-love stems from a place of true confidence. And that is where a high value woman harnesses her power. She doesn't need anyone and as a result, none of her actions come from a place of neediness – instead, it echoes confidence. She knows her worth and it is evident in the way that she walks, talks, but most importantly, in the way that she treats herself.
Thus, the quality of men she attracts know they have to step their game up and treat her in a way that matches what she does on her own or more, or they can keep it moving.
The high value woman doesn't play games.
Because she is a high value woman, she doesn't feel the need to behave in a way that is inauthentic to her desires nor is she one to manipulate for the hell of it. She doesn't pretend to be busy, take twice as long to respond as her potential bae did to a text, or swallow and shroud herself in an effort to be more likeable to the opposite sex. She doesn't have to follow arbitrary rules to seem more unattainable or more attractive – she just doesn't have the concern.
She is only interested in attracting and keeping people who value who she is as a woman in the way that she values who she is. That kind of woman is not worried about whether or not potential bae is thrilled by the chase.
The high value woman is self-aware and expressive.
Some women fail to realize that a lot of what makes them a woman are qualities to be revered – being emotional and sensitive are just two of those qualities. These are beautiful feminine qualities that you should own as pivotal aspects of your divinity. Closed mouths don't get fed, and women hide so much of themselves out of fear of being too this or too that, so they don't voice their opinions, their thoughts, or feelings – especially in dating.
The high value woman doesn't hide herself in any way from the world, especially not from a prospective partner. She understands that it's not what you say, it's how you say it and that the way she expresses herself is a part of seduction and intimacy. She is grounded in her own sensibility and understanding of the world. She is not afraid to ask for what she wants, to say “no," or demand respect by walking away confidently from a table where dinner is no longer served.
The high value woman has her own.
Her value is not intrinsically dependent on a man. She is enough just by existing so she is enough for herself. She feels good in her own skin, complete, full, and whole. She is a well-rounded woman who is emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually independent. She travels the world, makes time for her girls, and clocks in to a work life she's passionate about.
She can wait for Mr. Right without desperation because she knows that the man she chooses will be the one that deserves her and all that she is.
Featured image by Getty Images
Originally published December 9, 2017.