10 Things That Truly Confident People Do

No doubt about it. Confidence is a lifestyle.

"The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it."—J. M. Barrie

Question: If someone were to walk up to you right at this very moment and ask you what the word "confident" meant, what would you say? Would you say something along the lines of it means to love yourself? Would you associate it with being a positive person? Or maybe a fearless one? Personally, I think those are some of the results of confidence, but the best way to describe it is you are sure of yourself.

It sounds simple enough, right? Maybe simple but definitely not easy. If you're sure of yourself, it means that you don't doubt yourself. If you're sure of yourself, it also means that you're confident, reliable and stable ("stable" is a big one). If you're sure of yourself, more times than not, you move with accuracy and precision, without hesitation or uncertainty. You're also intentional about making decisions that will not bring harm or danger to you or others.

Like I said, confident isn't the easiest thing on the planet to be but man, once you're able to master it, you are literally able to rock this world, in the most profound and powerful ways possible.

Are you ready to learn how to be (more) confident? Here are 10 examples of how confident people live their lives each and every day.

10 Signs Of Truly Confident People


1. Confident People Make Bold Moves

I dig words. "Bold" is one of my favorite ones. Bold people speak their mind. Bold people take risks. Bold people step up to challenges. Bold people don't hesitate to do what is best for them. Bold people define success on their own terms. Bold people don't let their past, their flaws or even their issues stop them. Bold people make history.

To tell you the truth, not everyone likes a bold person. They can come off abrasive and even pushy, at times. But that's the cool thing about them. Most of the time, they're too busy walking in their boldness as they're on their way to greatness to notice or care what other people think.

2. Confident People Can Take Criticism

On the heels of the first point, this doesn't mean that confident people are arrogant or narcissistic. Trust me, over these past few months, I've done more research on narcissism than I ever thought I would (The Royal We is a great YouTube channel on the topic). What I've come to the conclusion of is arrogance and narcissism are false (and toxic) imitations of confidence. The reason why I say that is because if you can't ever be told about yourself, if you can't receive things that you need to hear in order to mature and grow, you are being the mere opposite of confidence.

People who are truly secure in themselves are constantly wanting to evolve, including when it comes to their character. If that requires hearing some hard things about their faults and flaws, so be it. They can take it because they know it will only make them better individuals in the long run.

3. Confident People Are Able to Control Their Emotions

Pop offs. People with tunnel vision. Individuals who constantly react to their triggers. Negative folks. People who stew in their feelings. Something that all of these folks have in common is they usually don't know how to control their emotions. Contrary to what a lot of people think, while sometimes we can't control how we feel, what we can do is control how we respond and react as the direct result of those feelings.

Confident people have the ability to think past the moment they are in. Not only that but they like the sense of stability; this includes emotional stability. So, rather than always letting their feelings dictate what they should or shouldn't do, they prefer to think matters through, apply common sense and woosah themselves off of the ledge of a potential poor decision instead.

At the end of the day, for a confident person, their peace of mind is more important than emotionally reacting (or overreacting) to everyone and everything all of the time.

4. Confident People Like Affirmations. Dislike Gossip.

I'm not sure social media would exist (at least at the level that it does) and I definitely know celebrity blogs wouldn't if we all didn't have even a little bit of interest in gossip. However, confident people can only take so much of it, whether it's true or not (because gossip isn't always salacious; sometimes it's just info that is absolutely none of our business). One reason is because they don't like to hear a lot of negativity. Another reason is because, whenever they do catch wind of some, they are typically thinking, "I could be doing a lot of other things rather than listening to this information that's not gonna change my life one way or another."

Affirmations, on the other hand, they're all about those. That's because it's all about making people feel better, lifting them higher and putting good energy into the universe. Yep, you will hear confident people do more affirming than gossiping, more times than not. You can bet on that.

5. Confident People Don't Need Everyone to Like (or Get) What They're Doing

My friends know that I don't give the "don't judge me" stance much energy. Any time I hear someone say that, I think about back when I used to be a judge for the Titans cheerleader competitions back in the day. The only women who had a problem with the judges' "judgment" were the ones who lost.

And you know what? The main people who don't like judgment, in the general sense, are those who get mad when someone doesn't like what they are doing. Like if they wear an outfit and someone tells them how dope they look, they don't mind that judgment. But let someone tell them that they look a hot mess and suddenly, they don't want to be judged.

Confident folks? You can like or not like what they wear, say or do. They aren't doing it for the applause or approval of others, so it doesn't shake them one way or another. When you can function without a pep rally or parade, pat yourself on the back. You've got quite a bit of confidence, whether you realize it or not.

6. Confident People Are Unapologetic About Their Boundaries

Not too long ago, I was telling someone that if you set a boundary and someone asks you to explain—which is really more like justify—it, that's a clear sign that they already don't respect it.

Boundaries don't require an explanation. If you want to give one, that's a courtesy—no more, no less.

That said, sometimes confident individuals can come off as cocky because they'll say "no" to something without elaborating or compromising. But the truth of the matter is, they are simply honoring their own limits. If you just read that and totally got it, you're probably a confident person. But if you read that and felt some type of way, confidence, at least in this particular area, is probably something you could stand to work on.

7. Confident People Are Genuinely Happy for People's Progress

A wise man once said, "Envy is about counting someone else's blessings instead of your own." Confident people don't know anything about this because they understand that someone else's wins do not prevent them from having some as well, even if they are a different kind and come in a different season.

One of my closest friends models this to me very well. Once upon a time, Rissi was a really well-known Black country musician; now she's a soul artist and activist in her own right (check out her "Seeds" video sometime; it's dope!). Whenever she hears of other Black country artists rising (like Jimmie Allen; he's cool people, so I had to shout him out!) or anyone in general doing their thing, she is the first to clap and get excited for them. No backhanded compliments. No comparing. None of that. Just sheer joy.

Only truly confident people can put out the kind of energy that has a non-compete clause. For real, for real.

8. Confident People Can (and Do) Admit When They Are Wrong

It takes a very insecure person to know they are wrong and still try and find ways to sidestep or deflect from that very fact. Folks who think that they are always right or somehow think that making mistakes and acknowledging them is a sign of weakness? They are people who have a very low level of confidence.

Confidence isn't about being perfect or having all of the answers. Confidence is about having such a strong sense of self that, even when you mess up, you're strong enough to admit that, right your wrongs and try again. You see errors also as a sign of growth; especially when you are able to learn from them. And since confident people are all about growth…there you go.

9. Confident People Hate Stagnation

Remember how I said that confidence is about being sure of yourself? When you're in that kind of head and heart space, failure doesn't scare you. And because it doesn't, you are totally open to taking risks, trying new things and being a trailblazer rather than a follower. In fact, you'd rather fail miserably and know that you tried than stick to a formula or routine just so you won't have to step outside of your comfort zone.

Stagnation can be a really ugly word because it's hard to thrive, personally or professionally, when you're not developing or evolving. Confident people know this. That's why they are always taking steps forward. Small or big doesn't matter to them. Just so long as they do it.

10. Confident People Celebrate Themselves

Something else that's super cool about confident people is that they don't wait for other people to acknowledge them. If they know that they went above and beyond with a project at work, they take their own selves out for a drink. If no one else remembers their birthday, that's fine because they had a spa day planned weeks ahead of schedule. If they set a goal and reach it, you may or may not see them talk about it on social media. They are too focused on what's next to do a ton of bragging.

If you're someone who is in the habit of celebrating yourself, I commend you! It means that you're so in the habit of praising yourself that if it comes from any other source, that's merely a bonus. And having that kind of confidence? You have no idea just how far it will take you in life. Bravo!

Want more stories like this? Check out the xoNecole reads below:

How To Tap Into Your Inner Confidence As An Introvert - Read More

Say These Self-Affirmations To Start Your Day On The Right Note - Read More

15 Affirmations To Inspire A Happier, More Fulfilled Life - Read More

Featured image by Getty Images

ACLU By ACLUSponsored

Over the past four years, we grew accustomed to a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House. Donald Trump tweeted that “the Squad," four Democratic Congresswomen who are Black, Latinx, and South Asian, should “go back" to the “corrupt" countries they came from; that same year, he called Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas," mocking her belief that she might be descended from Native American ancestors.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVID-19, didn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people.

To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy. In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. To combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality.

What is Systemic Racism?

A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Black people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system. For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them.

Systemic Equality is a Systemic Solution

In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies. The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism.

To begin, in 2021, we believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:

Voting Rights

The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U.S. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government. This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U.S. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U.S. attorneys should begin by ensuring that every American in the custody of the Bureau of Prisons who is eligible to vote can vote, and monitor the Census and redistricting process to fight the dilution of voting power in communities of color.

We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life.

Student Debt

Black borrowers pay more than other students for the same degrees, and graduate with an average of $7,400 more in debt than their white peers. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Last week, Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. Ayanna Pressley, Maxine Waters, and others, called on President Biden to cancel up to $50,000 in federal student loan debt per borrower.

We couldn't agree more. By forgiving $50,000 of student debt, President Biden can unleash pent up economic potential in Black communities, while relieving them of a burden that forestalls so many hopes and dreams. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

Postal Banking

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. The result is that nearly 50 percent of Black Americans are unbanked or underbanked, and many pay more than $2,000 in fees associated with subprime financial institutions. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family.

The U.S. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality. We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American.

Fair Housing

Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the 2015 Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias. In 1980, the average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. By 2010, the average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white. Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration.

Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Act, or a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all.

Broadband Access

To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable. Yet today, 15 percent of American households with school-age children do not have subscriptions to any form of broadband, including one-quarter of Black households (an additional 23 percent of African Americans are “smartphone-only" internet users, meaning they lack traditional home broadband service but do own a smartphone, which is insufficient to attend class, do homework, or apply for a job). The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access.

Enhanced, Refundable Child Tax Credits

The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.K., but Mexico and Russia as well. Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U.S. do not qualify for the full benefit, compared to 23 percent of white children, and nearly one in five Black children do not receive any credit at all.

To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.


We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. In 2021, Congress must pass H.R. 40, which would establish a commission to study reparations and make recommendations for Black Americans.

The Long View

For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases. While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation ( Brown v. Board), racial bias in the criminal legal system (Powell v. Alabama, i.e. the Scottsboro Boys), and marriage inequality (Loving v. Virginia). While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

Systemic racism continues to pervade the lives of Black people through voter suppression, lack of financial services, housing discrimination, and other areas. More than anything, doing this work has taught the ACLU that we must fight on every front in order to overcome our country's legacies of racism. That is what our Systemic Equality agenda is all about.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and signal the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy. We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed.

What you can do:
Take the pledge: Systemic Equality Agenda
Sign up

Featured image by Shutterstock

If there's one thing Historically Black Universities are known, it's fostering a sense of interconnectedness for collaborative genius to thrive. Of all campuses, it was on the soil of The Mecca, Howard University, where She'Neil Johnson-Spencer and Nicolette Graves rooted their friendship and aligned their passion for beauty and natural brains. Today, the two have founded a skincare brand of their own, Base Butter, that has not only carved out their niche space in the market but rallied a community of women to glow from the inside out.

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.

This is Maya's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.

I know this may come to a surprise so many, but here we are. Yes, I got a BBL. If you aren't aware, a BBL is a Brazilian Butt Lift, a cosmetic surgery process where the doctor uses a combination of liposuction and fat-grafting, transfers the fat into the butt, resulting in added volume, defined curves, and a lift. It is technically lipo and a fat transfer. But yeah girl, this has been on my to-do list for a while. And now that I am able to afford it, I went for it.

Keep reading... Show less

As an extension of my monthly self-care routines, facials have become top priority when it comes to maintaining healthy skin. For months I've noticed excess oil, stubborn breakouts and dry cracked lips forcing me to seek an alternative to my everyday skincare routine. Unable to solve my skincare troubles, I decided it was time to seek the help of a professional to help revive my dull skin.

Keep reading... Show less

I will never make an apology for the fact that I adore the Scriptures. There is something very, remarkable is the word that comes to mind, about the fact that even all of these years later (thousands and thousands of years later), there is so much wisdom within the Bible that is still relevant and — if you want to live a content life — even necessary. Matter of fact, some of the people in my world who aren't Bible followers or even believers in God will admit to me that Proverbs (King Solomon's book of wisdom) has some real gems in it.

Keep reading... Show less

August invites you to shine bright like the sun which requires you to leave behind the sob stories of being the underdog. Recognize your power as a reflection of the Divine and watch how far you can go. Be mindful of that inner critic when Mercury enters Virgo. For every negative thought, counteract it with three compliments about yourself. When Venus enters her home sign, relationship matters get a whole lot sweeter after the wild ride that was Mercury Retrograde.

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

Exclusive: Find Confidence With This Summer Workout Created By A Black Woman For Black Women

Tone & Sculpt trainer Danyele Wilson makes fitness goals attainable.

Latest Posts