

Does Your Life Need Personal Boundaries? Take This Quiz To Find Out
I heard a statistic on the radio (yes, a radio, it's still a thing) that said, more of us are single than in a romantic relationship or marriage. That means more of us are going to die younger than necessary.
Human beings require intimate connections with other human beings to stay alive. To further highlight this point, there was a study decades ago that coined the phrase "failure to thrive." It proved that people who have food and water but little or no intimate connections or touch from other people pass away faster than humans who are being hugged, kissed, and spoken to regularly.
Here is another eye-opener. In our lifetime, we spend more time on social media (5 years, 4 months) than we do eating and drinking (3 years, 5 months). Hello! More time watching other people "live" than we spend doing something that is required to stay alive is a problem! But, there is hope. There is something that can protect us from these modern-day silent killers: Boundaries.
Healthy boundaries are the elixir to all that ails us. Many of us aren't aware of where our boundaries lie, let alone if they are healthy. Healthy boundaries can quite literally cure us of mostly everything we suffer from, mentally and physically.
Knowing what you want or don't want and being consistent with honoring your desires is the way to develop healthy boundaries.
It is also the only way to feel and actually be genuinely happy. We don't often recognize when we are compromising our boundaries, especially with the seemingly simple things in life. Take the scenario test below to see where your boundaries lie.
Once you get a sense of how weak or strong your boundaries might be, then you can take steps toward making your boundaries healthier. There are only two answers you can give to each scenario: YES or NO. There is no MAYBE. Be honest with yourself. When answering, your answer MUST reflect what you've done in the past, not what you wish you did or what you plan to do moving forward.
Quiz:
A girlfriend asks you to brunch when you want to stay home and funds are low. Do you pull out the credit card and go? YES or NO
Your cousin asks you last minute to watch her kids for 30 minutes. Last time, 30 minutes turned into 6 hours. Do you agree to watch the kids? YES or NO
Your bestie ask you to do something that will interfere with your plans to go home, take a bath and watch Love Is with your cheesecake. Do you comply with her request? YES or NO
Do you look at social media instead of making your to-do list, taking yoga class, cooking a good meal, or writing another chapter in your book? YES or NO
You've eaten poorly and drank with friends all weekend and your body is feeling it. Monday night work dinner with the company bigwigs, the boss suggests that you try the restaurant's decadent 5-star dish. This dish is everything your body doesn't need right now. Do you comply to show off your team player skills? YES or NO
Your "maintenance man" is texting to ask for a late night oil change (wink, wink). You would rather chill alone for the night. Because you know you've used this guy for the occasional early morning tire rotations or evening engine flush, do you agree to his request? YES or NO
A boundary is a point or line that marks a limit. It is a borderline or partition between the life you want to live and the life everyone else is trying to make you live.
If you had more YES's than No's, you need to tune your boundaries to a higher and healthier frequency. Here is how:
At the beginning of each month, decide on your top two priorities for the month. For example, firm up my thighs and write 15 pages of my novel. Before you agree to requests, demands, or suggestions from others, ask yourself these three questions:
1) Does this keep me on task with my top two priorities for the month?
2) If I do "this," will I get closer to achieving my goals or completing my plans?
3) If this doesn't turn out to be amazing for me, will I be upset or frustrated?
We all have moments when flexibility is required, but for the most part we need to know what we want and reject all the things that won't get us there. Think about it like this, creating your boundaries is like roller-skating. You set your direction and speed while allowing yourself to have fun and try new moves, but if you let someone else push you, there is a good chance you will wipe out.
Big or small, any step past your personal boundaries is a step away from your peace and happiness.
La Shell Wooten is a NYC-based licensed therapeutic life coach who enjoys a good cup of tea, beautiful sunset and a quality tire rotation. Check out her website: www.lashellwooten.com
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Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
The $1900 Anti-Aging Beauty Find Kelly Rowland Uses Almost Every Night
Every now and then, a celebrity name drops a tool or regimen that they swear by to keep their beauty and fitness game on lock. And every now and then, those finds make us think that whatever product they're using might be worth the investment. Today, Kelly Rowland just so happens to be that girl.
Over the weekend, while headling Beautycon, the 42-year-old singer revealed to PEOPLE that her biggest beauty splurge comes in the form of LED light therapy. She told the outlet, "There's this light by Shani Darden, the LED light, and it's not cheap. But I literally sleep under it every night."
LED stands for Light Emitting Diode, and in light therapy, these little diodes emit different wavelengths of light to benefit your skin. LED light therapy has seen an uptick in popularity for its benefits, which range from acne reduction and skin rejuvenation to pain relief and a more even skin tone.
She continued, “It's like a 20 to 30-minute time limit. When I'm under there, it [has] red lights, blue lights, and other colors of light. But those are the ones that I use the most, and they are so awesome because of the simple fact that they are like killing germs and [helping with] anti-aging, which is amazing."
Kelly didn't lie when she said her go-to beauty device was a "splurge." Retailing at a whopping $1,900, the Shani Darden best-selling LED Light Therapy Mask "is clinically proven to reduce acne, pigmentation, and wrinkles." Per the website, the re-engineered "diode LEDs deliver the highest dose of red, blue and near infrared light therapy in cutting-edge wavelength combinations for smoothing, clearing and brightening benefits."
Kelly is someone who gets badder with age, and over the years, the wife and mom have been vocal about her dedication to self-care through the use of beauty products. In a 2022 interview with PEOPLE, she shared her inner beauty philosophy, "Give yourself as many compliments as you possibly can. You start with one, you can have two. You have two, you can have four."
Keep scrolling for some of Kelly Rowland's other beauty faves, including a couple of additional Shani Darden finds:
Pat McGrath Labs Sublime Perfection Foundation
Pat McGrath Labs
"For me [with foundation] it was either not enough coverage or too much coverage … Pat [McGrath] found the perfect blend of them both," Kelly told PEOPLE. "This is actually my color, and it blends in beautifully with the skin – the texture of it is just like silk. I brush it on, or, sometimes I use the little sponge and push it into the skin. It's my favorite. She just nailed it, she really nailed it."
Shani Darden Skin Care Facial Sculpting Wand
The Cut
Regarding this product, Kelly revealed to The Cut, "I go up my cheekbones, across my skin and my temples with her wand — it’s incredible."
Shani Darden Skin Care Retinol Reform
"I've been with [esthetician] Shani [Darden] for almost 10 years. I was having the toughest time with my skin after I had Titan [seven years ago]. Before she sold this, she put it in a little tube for me and told me when and how to use it–she likes to educate, which I really appreciate–and my skin changed in a matter of two weeks." - via PEOPLE
Augustinus Bader the Rich Cream
The Cut
“Sometimes I use the Rich Cream, and sometimes I just use the Cream," she explained to The Cut about her product preferences.
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Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Beautycon™