As young millennial women, we don't talk about money enough - how we use it, how we earn it, how we feel about it, and everything else in between. Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to women about their relationship with money and how they get it.
Jaleska "J. Mulan" Holman is a culture manager, dream builder, entrepreneur, mentor and lifestyle specialist - who is a beast at saving money. At only 25-years-old, the Houston, Texas native is the founder of the J. Mulan Agency, which specializes in creative directing, casting, and more. Some of her most notable accomplishments to date include being solely responsible for the casting of Drake and Travis Scott's Grammy nominated music video "Sicko Mode," providing models for Lil' Wayne's SXSW event, as well as booking talent for Travis Scott's "Astroworld" concert.
As you can imagine, the fact that she's in her mid-twenties and so successful at what she does in the entertainment sector, money ain't a thing to her. However, everyone needs a budgeting strategy - and she's got the perfect advice for you. When asked by xoNecole about the money mantra she swears by, the professional print and runway model shares three: "money is a tool only a fool can abuse;" "money saved is just as important as money made;" and "assess the worth, not the dollar." Sounds like this boss babe knows her worth and how to add tax.
Culture queen and lifestyle specialist J. Mulan spills the tea on all of her money secrets for xoNecole's "Money Talks" segment about selling valuable trading cards, the feeling of purchasing her first home and the key to maintaining a health bank account.
On savings:
I try to save about 25-30% of total income monthly. I allocate percentages accordingly to two separate high-yield savings accounts. I haven't gotten into the Roth IRA field just yet because I'm very hands on when it comes to my finances so I'd like to have someone that I can trust with investments.
On defining wealth and success:
Wealth and success to me goes hand in hand with a proper measurement of your happiness. They both go far beyond the definition. Each person is different and value is placed on individual desire and no one thing is wrong, or even right. With that being said, the one particular thing that has always made me happy is being able to help and provide for others in any way I can be of service. Success is when you can look around and not be the only one enjoying the fruits.
Courtesy of J. Mulan
"Success is when you can look around and not be the only one enjoying the fruits."
On overcoming financial lows:
The lowest I've ever felt when it came to my finances was having to make a choice of enjoying something that I wanted or that made me happy versus having a necessity. There are certain things that don't deserve a price on it that does have one and when you can't reward yourself with that it gets tough and even depressing at times.
I overcame it by working harder and keeping my faith in God. Honestly truly putting forth the effort to change my mindset to meet my prayers and alter the power of my tongue and the words that I would speak over my life daily. Changing my surrounding and/or immediate circle for the time being to truly focus and become better. When you truly recognize and honor the small blessings of everyday life like being able to walk, and put your clothes on by yourself, your perspective of life really changes dramatically.
On her biggest splurge:
My biggest splurge was purchasing my first home! It honestly gave me a piece of peace. Of course, with the help and guidance of very close loved ones, we were all able to get the job done but it was something that was necessary for me. As I get older, certain things begin to lose value and at a point the necessary occurs and makes you look at what you need to do against what you want. It could've been very easy, and quicker, to go buy a new bag or designer pair of shoes but substance has been a new favorite word for me.
On if she’s a spender or a saver:
I mean honestly we're all sort of both spenders and savers because when you look at it, you're spending when you're saving. That isn't money that is accessible anymore, well it shouldn't be until in dire need, so I'd say both. I train myself to save by immediately removing a percentage from a check or payment I receive so that I don't see it. I'll immediately make a transfer to my savings account so that the only thing I see available is all I have to actively spend.
Courtesy of J. Mulan
"I train myself to save by immediately removing a percentage from a check or payment I receive so that I don't see it. I'll immediately make a transfer to my savings account so that the only thing I see available is all I have to actively spend."
On savings goals and retirement:
I feel like no one should have an overall savings goal, unless you're actively working towards a grand purchase or investment, because you should try to save everyday if you can for as long as you can. Every time you're adding funds, you should be immediately subtracting to increase your savings. Retirement to me right now is sort of blurry because I don't have the luxury to slow down anytime soon. My goals are becoming a lot more clearer, but I will say I am saving relentlessly to live comfortably whenever/if ever I decide to take an extended break or emergency or what have you.
On investing:
Investing is very important and is something I think one should fully understand before diving into. It is an everyday revolving door and just as heavy as the reward, heavier is the risk. I've been researching and practicing investing with more local close things that I can keep an eye on and really grasp before I decide to get into the big leagues. In hindsight, the goal is always to make your money work for you and investments are supreme ways of doing so. So knowing how to invest and assessing the risk is a great way to begin that process.
Courtesy of J. Mulan
"Investing is very important and is something I think one should fully understand before diving into. It is an everyday revolving door and just as heavy as the reward, heavier is the risk."
On her budget must-haves:
A budget must-have is an end. The budget must have an end point of where there is absolutely no wiggle room or negotiation. If it doesn't fit within that block, it can't happen.
On creating multiple streams of income:
When I started the J. Mulan Agency, it began with a one-track mission which served its purpose, but also caused me to burn out a bit quicker than I had planned. I had to get creative and open up a few different lanes that I had almost missed being so focused on not riding over the median. The Agency became full-service: branding, marketing, curating, etc. So I took one door down to reveal several others ultimately creating this endless creative revolving machine. So finding more ways out of one is always ideal when creating multiple streams of income. Having only one source can cause you to get comfortable and/or complacent, and that is fine as long as your desire for more out of life doesn't alter as well.
On the craziest thing she's done for money:
The craziest thing I've ever done for money was sell a valuable trading card that I had. It was one that I was gifted as a child that continued to increase in value as the years went by. It was a limited edition Yu-Gi-Oh! card. At the time, it was worth about $800 dollars and I sold it for $450. Today, it's worth about $7,435. It was part of the down payment for where I am today.
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
Selling a collector's item about 1,000% percent under mark-up (laughs). But seriously, almost taking a deal that altered the integrity of my company, and myself for a good payout. I wouldn't call the deal me selling out or it even being extremely bad, but I made a vow to myself to always stay loyal to who I am and what I stand for regardless of any circumstance because there's always somebody we don't know watching for guidance.
On unhealthy money mindsets she had to release to succeed:
Having to feel like I had some sort of intense image to keep up. Everybody at some point gets caught up in the glitz and glam of things especially when you're making a couple of dollars and people start to know your name. It's one thing to look good and keep a well-groomed appearance, but it's another to be trying to look good.
On what changed once she adopted healthy money mindsets:
A healthy bank account and a clearer head space to focus on what's really important. What I needed began to come without asking and what I wanted came at the leisure of when I wanted it.
For more of J. Mulan, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of J. Mulan
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?
GiphyQuestion: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?
GiphyBefore we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Journaling
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Meditating
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an Orgasm
GiphyAs a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for You
GiphyNow that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
_____
At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy
