

With the questions of down payments, closing costs, and how much home can you afford, it might seem daunting to step out of your comfort zone and purchase your first home. Especially as a single woman. But it is most definitely something that can be done.
In fact, I recently spoke with four amazing women oozing with all kinds of black girl magic who can testify to this. What I learned from them is that the path to ownership can take quite a few steps and sacrifices to get there, but ultimately, the first step is actually making the decision to own and shifting your mindset.
Changing Your Home Buying Mindset
Cierra Craig, a 31-year-old traffic officer from Washington, DC. Craig purchased a new 3-bedroom, 4-bathroom single family home at the age of 30 and doesn't regret it one bit. "A lot of people believe that you have to have all of this money to get started...and it prevents them from even looking into it because they feel like they aren't in a position to own anything," she shared.
Long gone are the days where women are waiting around for "the one" to come along and sweep them off of their feet, get married, and purchase a home with their spouse. Nah. More and more women are going out there and making their goal of being a homeowner happen all by themselves!
Kiara Arnold, a 29-year-old IT auditor from Charlotte, NC who purchased her 3-bedroom, 2.5-bathroom single family home at the young age of 25, explained how she didn't see any representation of someone young and single owning a home in her family. She knew that she had to do something to break the cycle. "It's important to challenge that belief that you have to wait until a partner comes along," she revealed.
"You don't have to be married to take ownership of something."
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Prioritize Saving & Prep for Sacrifices
The next most important thing to do once your head is in the game and you're ready to move forward is save, save, save (and make some sacrifices)!
It took Kimaada Sills, a 30-year-old adjunct professor in Essex County, NJ four years to save $30,000. "I just lived at home with my family right after grad school to save up money for my down payment. While all of my other friends were moving out and getting apartments, I didn't have the opportunity to do that and still meet my savings goals," Sills said.
The sacrifice that was made afforded her a much greater opportunity instead. She was able to purchase a multi-family home at the age of 28. Arnold took two years to save $15,000 and moved back in with her parents to make it happen. Craig said she saved anywhere between $10,000-$15,000 over the course of two years because she was unsure of how much she was going to have to put down on her home. She actually ended up not having to put anything down and just paid for the home inspection. Phylicia Franklin, a 28-year-old dwelling in Atlanta and working in recruitment, recently purchased her first single family townhome and saved about $5,000-$6,000 in a span of six months.
Franklin made the sacrifice of picking up a second job temporarily to bring in some more cash for towards her down payment. "I think that was the most stressful thing (through homeownership process), trying to balance two jobs," Franklin expressed.
She also gave up her apartment and moved in with a friend for 6 months to make her savings goal happen. Everyone's savings goal and sacrifices that need to be made are going to be different. That's why it's important to do what makes sense for you on the journey of homeownership. "You gotta do what you gotta do and believe in," Craig advised.
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Be Honest About What You Can Afford & Do Your Research
All four women also stressed the importance of knowing what your budget is and being honest with yourself about what you can afford. "I think that we get so caught up in looking at our dream home, and then when we see what we can actually afford, we get discouraged. We feel like we should have what we deserve, which we should, but we all have to start where we are at. Just because it might be your first house, dont mean it's going to be your last," Craig added. "We feel like we should have what we deserve, but we all have to start where we are at."
Her advice is to see what you get approved for prior to actually looking for a home so that you don't get your hopes up. Arnold recommends looking into starter neighborhoods in your area for homes that aren't as expensive when looking to purchase for the first time.
Three out of the four women utilized first time home buyers programs to make their dreams a reality. There are a ton of resources out there for people looking into homeownership and even help with covering some of the costs. Because of the HPAP program Craig utilized in DC, she wasn't required to pay a down payment. For 10 months, Sills worked with a first time home buyer program that allowed her to get an interest rate much lower than the market rate.
"I went to a number of workshops. I spoke to any and everyone who owns a home, about 10 different banks, and just processed the information," Sills shared.
Franklin was able to get $1,000 towards her closing costs through her lender and an additional $2,000 through her builder. Unfortunately, a lot of time, people are unaware of the resources that are out there. That's why it's super imperative to do extensive research in order to discover the gems in your area.
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Lessons Learned Through First Time Home Buying
With all of these nuggets that were being shared, I just had to know if these women would've done anything differently throughout the process. It was interesting to hear about the lessons that they learned along the way and the advice that they'd give someone who is looking into buying their first home.
"I wouldn't do anything differently...I really feel like the journey and the process that I went through or that anyone goes through is for them," Craig said.
Sills wouldn't have done anything differently either. She stated, "I had years before to prep before I started looking. I was well prepared for it."
Arnold explained how she put 5% down on her home and that if she could do it all over again, she would've put at least 20% down. She also pointed out the importance of thinking about things that rarely get taken into account when looking into a home. "I would make sure that my house is not on a hill, that it's not elevated because you may incur different expenses depending on where how your house is positioned," she continued.
Arnold also warned to think about maintaining the lawn and how the sun rises and sets on it as it can burn the grass. Because of these things, she has to make sure she budgets money for lawn maintenance. Franklin stated that she would have sought advice from homeowners about their experiences and other educational programs in her area. "I went through the process pretty much by myself and it was trial and error for me. There were so many things (resources) available that would have just answered all of my questions prior to me going into the process," Franklin shared.
She also discussed how she didn't realize how important credit was: "Your credit is everything. It basically affects what your interest rate is going to look like and whether you get a 15-year loan or a 30-year loan."
If you're looking into purchasing your first home, remember that patience is a virtue. It's not an overnight process that you can just rush. Take the proper time to get your mind right and educate yourself, research programs in your area, get your credit and savings up, and search for properties within your budget. Don't put too much pressure on yourself as the process is already a lot on its own!
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Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published September 29, 2018
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Kristin Sutton (aka the Money Therapist) is a personal finance and lifestyle blogger/coach over at DebtFreeBlackGirl.com that empowers young women to take control of their finances by changing the way they think about money. As a licensed therapist, her daily mission is to uncover and eliminate the mental roadblocks that hinder people from living the life of their dreams. You can find her on all things social: @DebtFreeBlkGrl
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Okay, so let's start here. Did you know that approximately 75 percent of Americans suffer from dehydration? And, while you might think that this article is running during the summertime because that is when we tend to be outside and perspiring the most, the reality is this could actually be published any time of the year. Why?
Because there is no time on the calendar when our bodies don't need a good amount of fluids running through them—you know, being that we're made up of around 65 percent water ourselves.
When your body has the right amount of fluids running through it, not only can that help to keep you nice and cool, but it can also keep your muscles and joints working at their optimal levels (you know, like while you're swimming or taking long walks along the beach 'n stuff). Plus, spending a lot of time out in the sun can definitely put you on the road to being dehydrated—quick, fast, and in a hurry.
If you're wondering if you already are dehydrated, but you're not sure what signs to look for to confirm it, here are 10 that tend to get overlooked, far more than they ever should.
1. Thirst
If you've ever heard the saying, "If you're thirsty, you're already dehydrated," there is actually a significant amount of truth to that. When there is a lack of fluid in our system (or too much sodium in our body), the amount of water volume that we need in order for our body to work correctly drops, which makes us want to drink more.
You can stay on top of this by drinking 2-3 cups of water per hour (when you're awake, of course). If you do that, you should avoid feeling thirsty or parched. And, when it comes to your body "flowing" smoothly, that's a good thing.
2. Fatigue
Word on the street is that when you're at the point of dehydration, you've already lost somewhere between 2-3 percent of your own body fluid. If that happens, it makes total sense that you would start to feel tired, drained, lethargic, and fatigued. When there isn't enough fluid in your system, your blood volume drops, and that keeps your brain from getting all of the blood (and oxygen) that it needs.
Plus, dehydration makes your heart pump faster than it needs to as well. So yeah, if you want an energy pick-me-up, drinking more fluids is a surefire way to go.
3. A “Pop Off” Spirit
If you feel like you're about to snap on somebody, drink something first. A couple of glasses of water, if you can. While it might sound crazy on the surface, another bona fide indication of dehydration is that you're in a bad mood. How do the two dots connect?
When your fluid levels are low, the neurons in your brain are able to easily detect that. As a result, they will signal to other parts of your brain what's up, including the area that regulates your moods. Hmph. Considering 75 percent of Americans are chronically dehydrated, it makes you wonder how many are irritable, short-tempered, and just plain mean, simply because they don't have as much fluid in their body as they should, huh?
4. Blurred Vision
Have you ever had moments when, while scrolling through your Instagram or trying to watch television, your eyes suddenly became blurry? Before you freak out, drink more. Our eyes need fluids in order to remain moist and comfortable. This means that when we are dehydrated and our body fluid levels drop, that can result in dry and irritated eyes. This is just one more reason why drinking more water is such a good idea.
5. Sugar Cravings
If you want to get a grasp of just how serious sugar addiction in this country is, check out Healthline's "America's Deadly Sugar Addiction Has Reached Epidemic Levels." But if you're typically not someone who is big on sugar, and yet, you find yourself having moments when you can't seem to get enough of it, this could be another sign that you're dehydrated.
Something that our organs need is a healthy amount of glucose. Well, when we don't have enough liquid in our body, that can make it difficult for organs like our liver to release glucose and provide our bodies with an energy boost. As a result, we might think that we need a sugar rush when really, all we need is to drink more. How crazy is that?
6. Unexplainable Breakouts
Whenever I get pimples that have nothing to do with my period, it's usually a heads-up for me that I need to drink more water. Something else that drinking more does is flush toxins out of our system and help to keep sebum from clogging up our pores. A lot of us are out here thinking that if we put everything under the sun on top of our zits that they'll go away. But the reality is, if we drank more good ole' H20, we probably wouldn't have so many pimples to deal with in the first place.
7. Bad Breath
There is someone I went to high school with who had the worst breath ever. Well, she and a guy I went to college with actually ran neck and neck with this particular "award." In hindsight, something that I realize they had in common is that I rarely, if ever, saw them drinking water. It was juice, soda—anything but. Here's the thing about that—when we don't get enough fluid into our system, that keeps us from producing the amount of saliva that we need in order to flush out oral bacteria.
When bacteria linger, not only does that create a breeding ground for tooth decay, but it can make our breath smell pretty damn tart as well. Just one more reason to drink more; more specifically, drink more water. For your sake and the sake of those around you.
8. Constipation
Quiet as it's kept, one of the leading causes of constipation is dehydration. We eat our food, it goes into our colon, and, if we don't have enough fluids in our body, our colon takes in the water from the food waste, making it harder for the waste to pass through us.
Constipation can ultimately lead to everything from hemorrhoids (from straining to having a bowel movement) and stomach aches to a lack of appetite and bad breakouts. All of it sucks. Avoid this by getting at least 6-8 glasses of water in on a daily basis.
9. Muscle Cramps
Do you ever get random Charley horses in your leg? Aren't they the absolute worst, especially if they happen in the middle of the night? That used to happen to me until I got more water into my system. What I discovered is that whenever I'm dehydrated, the lack of water (and sodium) that my muscles need can result in them tightening up in a way that oftentimes feels just like cramps.
This is really important to keep in mind, especially if you work out (and sweat) a lot or you plan on spending a lot of time outdoors where you'll lose a fair amount of body fluid.
10. Dry Skin
As we age, something that we definitely need to do is get more fluids into our system. When we don't, our skin starts to lose elasticity, which can lead to sagginess and wrinkles. Not to mention the fact that if our skin's pores don't get enough fluid, the natural sebum that we produce can decrease, resulting in our skin becoming mad parched and looking super dry.
So, if you want your skin to be soft, supple, and moist, you already know what I'm gonna say, right? Water will help to prevent your skin from looking and feeling parched, which can keep you looking younger than ever for longer than expected. Drink up, sis.
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Featured image by Westend61/Getty Images
Originally published on July 8, 2020