Imagine that you've been living in a slumlord's apartment for a year, and you're trying to terminate your lease in the next 45 days. Thinking about next steps in life, you've decided that you're finally over the woes of renting and are ready to buy your first place. Now add to this picture a beautiful realtor who pretends she's here to save the day, but in reality, she's prepping for a big payday on one of your most vulnerable moments.
That's how I almost paid $275,000 more than I needed to on buying my first home.
I've lived in New York City for three years and have been contemplating buying a place for a while now. After living through roaches, gnats, spiders, broken ovens, roommates and floods, I decided that I had enough and was ready to buy something I could take care of myself. I was looking for duplexes in Jersey City, and someone referred me to what seemed to be a great realtor. She had five star reviews online, was very knowledgeable, and had been in the industry for over eight years. More importantly, when we spoke on the phone, she sounded like my long lost aunt who would guide and protect me during my purchase. I was so excited to work with her!
On that Saturday, the realtor took me out for a drive. We drove around for hours! We talked about everything under the sun while looking at different neighborhoods. She then took me to the house that she wanted me to buy. This house was in an up-and-coming neighborhood, and her husband was closing on it that week. He and his business partner were going to flip the house to a buyer, and were letting me look at it in case I was interested due to my timeline.
We walked in the house, and it looked scary, yet the realtor kept insisting that the house only needed basic cosmetics that I could take care of with $50,000. She even went so far as to have her husband's contractor come out, and she showed me some of his work in other houses. Of course, I fell in love with the potential of this home!
Then, we talked numbers.
I gave her my pre-approval letter earlier in the week. She said the home was for sale $425,000, the top of my budget, and called my lender to see if I could borrow $50,000 more for modest renovations. At the end of the day, I went home dreaming of renovated kitchens, bathrooms, new furniture, and hosting my first housewarming with friends.
But I also did my research…
And to my surprise, I found out that the home was listed six months earlier in the exact same condition for $150,000! Furthermore, there were no comparable homes to support this new $425,000 asking price, as the highest home price in that area was $268,000. I was livid, and felt betrayed and taken advantage of.
But most of all, I felt proud that I was able to save myself years of financial distress.
So before you buy your first place, take these five steps to make sure you're covered:
1. Let go of emotion.
Realtors are salespeople, and many great salespeople are very relatable. If you're working with a realtor day-to-day, it is natural to grow a bond with them. While some people genuinely have your best interest at heart, it's sometimes difficult to tell who actually does. That being said, always verify any information that a realtor gives you, no matter how much you trust them.
2. Search for the property online.
Zillow gives you an idea of property values to help you figure out if you are paying too much, just right, or if you've got yourself a steal and should move fast! You can also see how many days a home has been listed, how many people are looking at it, and plenty of other useful information. Trulia is another good site that provides similar facts. Their crime rate heat map is very helpful if you are looking in unfamiliar areas. Use these sites and others to supplement information you receive from your Realtor.
3. Call the listing agent.
Even if you're working with a realtor, call the listing agent to verify everything that you've heard about the area and the property. And while you're at it, call one or two more realtors! Ask the same questions across the board to make sure you're getting consistent responses.
4. Phone a friend.
One of the biggest reasons I was able to dodge this bullet to my finances was because I called someone who knew more than me about real estate. He helped me research the area, and together we called the realtor's bluff. Talk to someone who owns a home or pays attention to the market. If you don't have any friends in the industry, see what you can find out from the online community. Start with leaving a comment below.
5. Ask the lender.
One benefit to taking out a mortgage is that the lender will have to verify the property value. If you've been pre-approved for a mortgage loan, send the property address to your lender and get their opinion on the numbers. In the end, I did not purchase the house. By taking those five steps, I learned that the purchase price was much higher than the actual market value according to homes in the area. The house also needed a lot more work than the realtor let on. A few weeks later I decided to make a different house my home.
Lots of emotions come with house hunting from excitement to anxiety. Let's make sure we stay informed to make the best decisions that we can. To all the homeowners out there, what's your experience been in buying your first home?
Related Post: 10 Major Keys for First Time Home Buyers
Jasmine T. Brown is founder and CEO of Onward Holding Company, LLC, a real estate investment group.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Entertaining Like Ayesha Curry: Expert Advice For Holidays Done Right
Be prepared to wow the crowd.
It’s officially the holiday season, which means parties and gatherings galore. Between Friendsgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve celebrations, many of us are preparing to host loved ones in our homes one or two times between now and the end of the year. No matter the occasion or season, hosting for family and friends is a labor of love. But we can also agree that entertaining can be overwhelming, especially for first-time hosts.
As a seasoned host and entertainer, Ayesha Curry knows something about creating a memorable event for loved ones. Whether preparing for an intimate dinner with your immediate family or hosting a larger crowd, your guests will think you are a pro this holiday season with her tips on everything from welcoming guests to setting a beautiful table.
Q: What is your top tip for hosting?
Ayesha Curry:Part of being a great host is spending time with your guests, which means you can’t be stuck in the kitchen. Prep is key! I usually serve wine with the meal, but a cocktail or mocktail is a great way to greet guests. I prep the garnish the night before and batch the drink just before guests arrive. When the party begins, I pull everything out of the fridge and am ready to serve.
Writer Note: If you would like to offer non-alcoholic beverages for your sober or sober-curious guests, I love Saint Viviana Cab. It maintains full-body cabernet and flavor; no one will ever guess it’s alcohol-free. You can easily create a signature mocktail using Bittermilk’s Smoked Honey Whiskey Sour mix.
Q: Do you suggest any prep for serving or cooking?
AC:I lay out all my serving dishes and utensils the night before with little post-it notes saying what goes where. That way, I’m not digging around for anything. For more elaborate menus, I lay out quarter sheet pans and label them with tape according to the dish. I prep and measure everything for each recipe and then load each sheet pan with everything needed to make the dish. I wrap each tray in saran or foil, stack them, and place them in the fridge. Pull out the sheet pan you need when cooking, and everything is ready. It’s something I learned at the restaurant that saves so much time.
Q: What’s one item that should always be on a dinner party menu?
AC: Bread or roll with butter is excellent for holding guests over if the kitchen is delayed.
Q: What’s one non-menu item you should always have on hand?
AC: For a non-menu item, wine!
Q: How do you decide on a theme or menu for a gathering?
AC: It all starts with the occasion and the guest list. If it’s a group that doesn’t know each other very well, I may get more elaborate with the theme to help break the ice. For a group of friends or family who don’t get to see each other very often, I usually keep it simple so the evening can be all about catching up. A great playlist, good wine, and a family-style menu are all you need.
Q: Should attendees be expected to bring a gift?
AC: If I’m hosting, I’m not expecting gifts. The gift is taking time to come over and enjoy a meal with me! But bringing something to enjoy at the gathering, like a bottle of wine, is always appreciated.
Q: What are three affordable gifts that guests can give a host?
AC:A bag of excellent coffee is a beautiful gift for a host. Sweet July’s House Blend Coffee is sourced from all-female co-ops, so it’s a gift I love to give to the women in my life. Whether it’s being served after dinner or just for the host to enjoy on their own, you can’t go wrong with a bag of high-end coffee.
Fresh flowers are great if you have a host who likes total control over the food and beverage menu. Go for something neutral in color that can work with any décor.
The Sweet July Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar set is my go-to host gift. Bottled in Napa, it’s a gift any foodie will appreciate - and use!
Q: What are some creative tablescape or decor ideas that you love?
AC: I like to keep my dinnerware neutral and classic (like this ceramic collection in nutmeg) and infuse color and texture through linens. For centerpieces, I want to use what I have in my yard. If it’s summer, it might be flowers or greenery, but interesting branches can also look architectural in tall, clear vases next to tapered candles in the colder months. There’s no need to spend a ton of money on flowers.
With Ayesha’s tips, you can create a holiday gathering that your family and friends will cherish forever.
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