

Imagine that you've been living in a slumlord's apartment for a year, and you're trying to terminate your lease in the next 45 days. Thinking about next steps in life, you've decided that you're finally over the woes of renting and are ready to buy your first place. Now add to this picture a beautiful realtor who pretends she's here to save the day, but in reality, she's prepping for a big payday on one of your most vulnerable moments.
That's how I almost paid $275,000 more than I needed to on buying my first home.
I've lived in New York City for three years and have been contemplating buying a place for a while now. After living through roaches, gnats, spiders, broken ovens, roommates and floods, I decided that I had enough and was ready to buy something I could take care of myself. I was looking for duplexes in Jersey City, and someone referred me to what seemed to be a great realtor. She had five star reviews online, was very knowledgeable, and had been in the industry for over eight years. More importantly, when we spoke on the phone, she sounded like my long lost aunt who would guide and protect me during my purchase. I was so excited to work with her!
On that Saturday, the realtor took me out for a drive. We drove around for hours! We talked about everything under the sun while looking at different neighborhoods. She then took me to the house that she wanted me to buy. This house was in an up-and-coming neighborhood, and her husband was closing on it that week. He and his business partner were going to flip the house to a buyer, and were letting me look at it in case I was interested due to my timeline.
We walked in the house, and it looked scary, yet the realtor kept insisting that the house only needed basic cosmetics that I could take care of with $50,000. She even went so far as to have her husband's contractor come out, and she showed me some of his work in other houses. Of course, I fell in love with the potential of this home!
Then, we talked numbers.
I gave her my pre-approval letter earlier in the week. She said the home was for sale $425,000, the top of my budget, and called my lender to see if I could borrow $50,000 more for modest renovations. At the end of the day, I went home dreaming of renovated kitchens, bathrooms, new furniture, and hosting my first housewarming with friends.
But I also did my research…
And to my surprise, I found out that the home was listed six months earlier in the exact same condition for $150,000! Furthermore, there were no comparable homes to support this new $425,000 asking price, as the highest home price in that area was $268,000. I was livid, and felt betrayed and taken advantage of.
But most of all, I felt proud that I was able to save myself years of financial distress.
So before you buy your first place, take these five steps to make sure you're covered:
1. Let go of emotion.
Realtors are salespeople, and many great salespeople are very relatable. If you're working with a realtor day-to-day, it is natural to grow a bond with them. While some people genuinely have your best interest at heart, it's sometimes difficult to tell who actually does. That being said, always verify any information that a realtor gives you, no matter how much you trust them.
2. Search for the property online.
Zillow gives you an idea of property values to help you figure out if you are paying too much, just right, or if you've got yourself a steal and should move fast! You can also see how many days a home has been listed, how many people are looking at it, and plenty of other useful information. Trulia is another good site that provides similar facts. Their crime rate heat map is very helpful if you are looking in unfamiliar areas. Use these sites and others to supplement information you receive from your Realtor.
3. Call the listing agent.
Even if you're working with a realtor, call the listing agent to verify everything that you've heard about the area and the property. And while you're at it, call one or two more realtors! Ask the same questions across the board to make sure you're getting consistent responses.
4. Phone a friend.
One of the biggest reasons I was able to dodge this bullet to my finances was because I called someone who knew more than me about real estate. He helped me research the area, and together we called the realtor's bluff. Talk to someone who owns a home or pays attention to the market. If you don't have any friends in the industry, see what you can find out from the online community. Start with leaving a comment below.
5. Ask the lender.
One benefit to taking out a mortgage is that the lender will have to verify the property value. If you've been pre-approved for a mortgage loan, send the property address to your lender and get their opinion on the numbers. In the end, I did not purchase the house. By taking those five steps, I learned that the purchase price was much higher than the actual market value according to homes in the area. The house also needed a lot more work than the realtor let on. A few weeks later I decided to make a different house my home.
Lots of emotions come with house hunting from excitement to anxiety. Let's make sure we stay informed to make the best decisions that we can. To all the homeowners out there, what's your experience been in buying your first home?
Related Post: 10 Major Keys for First Time Home Buyers
Jasmine T. Brown is founder and CEO of Onward Holding Company, LLC, a real estate investment group.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
From Rock Bottom To Redemption: Paula Patton Opens Up About Her New Film 'Finding Faith'
When Paula Patton’s name is on a project, you already know it’s going to bring some soul. From Jumping the Broom to Baggage Claim, she’s long been a radiant presence on-screen. But in her new film Finding Faith, premiering in theaters June 16–17 via Fathom Events, Paula digs deeper—into grief, healing, and ultimately, redemption.
The film follows Faith Mitchell, a wife and mother whose life is upended by a devastating loss. As she spirals into despair, it’s the love of family, friends, and God that slowly leads her back to light. And for Paula, this story wasn’t just a role—it was personal.
“It connected to a time in my life that I could really relate to,” she says. “That feeling of having lost so much and feeling like so much pain, and not knowing how to deal with the pain… and numbing out to do that.”
Courtesy
A Story That Hit Close to Home
Having been sober for seven years, Paula says the emotional territory was familiar. But more than anything, it brought her closer to a deeper truth.
“Once you give [the numbing] up, you have to walk in the desert alone… and that’s when I truly found faith in God.”
Turning Pain Into Purpose
While the film touches on loss and addiction, Finding Faith ultimately lives up to its title. Paula describes the acting process as cathartic—and one she was finally ready for.
“Art became healing,” she says. “That was the biggest challenge of all… but it was a challenge I wanted.”
More Than an Inspirational Thriller
Finding Faith is described as an “inspirational thriller,” with layered tones of romance, suspense, and spiritual reflection. Paula credits that dynamic blend to writer-director LazRael Lison.
“That’s what I love about Finding Faith,” she explains. “Yes, she goes on this journey, but there’s other storylines happening that help it stay entertaining.”
"Finding Faith" cast
Courtesy
On-Set Magic with Loretta Devine
With a cast stacked with phenomnal talent—Loretta Devine, Keith David, Stephen Bishop—it’s no surprise that the film also came alive through unscripted moments.
“We did this kitchen scene… and Loretta changed it,” Paula shares. “She wouldn’t leave. I had to change my dance and figure out how to work with it, and it took on this whole other layer. I’m forever grateful.”
Faith When It Feels Like Night
The film leans on the biblical verse: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Paula says that reminder is something she’s lived.
“When you’re feeling so anxious, and you look out in the distance and see nothing there… that’s when you have to trust God’s timing.”
Divine Timing Behind the Scenes
Paula didn’t just star in the film—she produced it through her company, Third Eye Productions. And the way the opportunity came to her? Nothing short of divine.
“I said, ‘Just for one week, believe everything’s going to be perfect,’” she recalls. “That same day, my friend Charles called and said, ‘I have a film for you. It’s called Finding Faith.’ I thought I was going to throw the phone down.”
What’s Next for Paula Patton?
When asked about a dream role, Paula didn’t name a genre or a character. Her focus now is on legacy—and light.
“I want to make sure I keep making art that entertains people, but also has hope… That it has a bright light at the end to get us through this journey here on Earth.”
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