How would you answer the question, "What makes successful people so successful?"
Talent, wealth, skill, access all seem like the keys to the kingdom. And while these things do factor in, they pale in comparison to one main characteristic of successful entrepreneurs: Teachability.
The highest achieving entrepreneurs are only as consistently successful as they are because they are willing to keep learning. They jump at the opportunity to be students over and over again because they know their growth is dependent upon knowledge and its application.
That takes vision, humility, and quite a lot of study.
In my conversations and research of what resources today's entrepreneurs swear by, I found that the following 19 books are some of the most highly regarded materials when it comes to financial literacy, business/brand development, personal development, and spiritual guidance.
Not only do these books offer inspiring words, they provide resources, methods of practical application, and ways to measure your growth. So, at whatever point you find yourself on your entrepreneurial journey - from daydreaming about your big idea to planning your next venture - this list was made with you in mind! Happy reading!
Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
The wisdom of over 40 millionaires distilled into one book.
Read when:You need a glimpse into the proven life choices that will get you where you want to be.
Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What The Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That The Poor And Middle Class Do Not! By Robert T. Kiyosaki
xoRecommendation by:
LaKisha Greenwade, Brand Strategist - Founder, @LuckiFit & @GlamTechUSA
"I have recommended this book to my nieces, nephews, mentees, colleagues, and even those with multiple degrees because it trains the mind to refute cultural norms of progression, cast down comfort, and accept responsibility for individual financial well being. I love that it also encourages entrepreneurship, multiple streams, of income, and the process to building a business that can transform a legacy."
Read when: You want to upgrade your mindset about your money and pass down crucial information.
The Little Black Book of Success: Laws of Leadership for Black Women by Elaine Meryl Brown, Marsha Haygood, & Rhonda Joy McLean
Three executives created a "mentor in your pocket" to guide you into savvy leadership.
Read when:You're on the fast track to BOSS status and need Mother/Sister advice to stay sane, aligned, and effective.
The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work & What To Do About It by Michael E. Gerber
xoRecommendation by:
Victoria Jackson, Creative Consultant, Content Creator, Founder of Reinvented Marketing, @thecapitalV
"It highlights one of the most important truths about entrepreneurship: If it doesn't run without you, you have a glorified job, not a business. It's a must read for anyone attempting to move from the employee mindset to the entrepreneurial mindset by building a sustainable, scalable business model."
Read when:You're interested in studying the life cycle of new businesses.
Made To Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath & Dan Heath
Is your idea "sticky" enough to capture your audience? Grab this NYT bestseller to find out.
Read when: You want to evaluate a new idea or you want to refine your business/brand/ministry's message.
7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons In Personal Change
Don't like change? Get over it and find the opportunities within it with this bestseller.
Read when: You're ready to embrace change and master making it work to your advantage.
Successful Women Think Differently by Valorie Burton
xoRecommendation by:
Becca Bakre, Life Coach & Project Strategist of Becca Bakre Enterprises, LLC @beccabak
"I was serving as Director at a multi-million dollar non-profit, and although I was thriving and successful in the eyes of many, I felt very dissatisfied with my life and career path. This book gave me the courage to see my leaving the company not as moving backward but as a necessary step forward.
I am now the owner of a successful coaching business that gives me the freedom to use my talents and passion to lead other women into their God-given purpose."
Read when: You've decided to assess your habits, get rid of those that don't serve you and establish new, healthier ones.
Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown
Cut the noise. Cut the clutter. Cut the crap. Chase less. Get more.
Read when:You want to simplify, clarify, and breathe easier.
Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert
Need a sweet little kick in the pants to face your fear and live a big life? Here you go.
Read when: You're teetering, on the brink of going for it and need an "over-the-edge" pep talk.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
A cult classic tale following a little shepherd boy and his journey to wisdom, self-confidence, and realized dreams for the absolute WIN.
Read when: You're sick of traditional self-help books and want to follow along on a brave little boy's journey to dreams fulfilled.
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
Pressfield pulls no punches. Let's bust up the blockages and DO this work.
Read when: You want to understand why you get stuck creatively and how to get unstuck.
Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How To Say No To Take Control Of Your LIfe by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
Every great businesswoman has got to learn the weight of her yes and the power in her no. Start here.
Read when:You're ready to make the time to dig deep, be brutally honest, and take responsibility for your decisions.
You Are A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living An Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
Practical advice, sage wisdom, hilarious stories, powdered with a cuss word here and there. Jen Sincero serves you straight talk, no chaser.
Read when:You're feeling down on yourself and you're on the verge of giving up.
Don’t Dumb Down Your Greatness by Anthony Frasier
xoRecommendation by:
Whitney L. Barkley, M.S. Speakerazzi, CEO @whitneylbarkley
"[This book] is a testament that you can come from anything to create realities beyond your biggest imagination for your life and career. [It's] impactful because while you may be wildly skilled and talented, there is a level of personal development that is necessary in the areas of goal setting, Impostor syndrome, and discipline to heighten your potential and create the best set-up for current and future success."
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
xoRecommendation by:
Anaston Jeni, Self-care Coach @anastonjeni
"Regardless of what phase of life you're in, you can identify with [this book's] principles. It's great for anyone on a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. Applying The Four Agreements will change your perspective on life & open you up to a new level of freedom."
Believe Bigger: Discover the Path to Your Life Purpose by Marshawn E. Daniels
Regret, hurt, and disappointment can stifle our journeys forward. Marshawn E. Daniels teaches how to use the past to find your purpose and believe the absolute best.
Read when: You're not quite sure what to do or where to go but you feel called to elevate.
7 Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra
Success encompasses principles beyond just having a business plan.
Read when:You want to implement practical steps toward a life well-lived.
The 40-Day Soul Fast by Dr. Cindy Trimm
Authenticity will take you far.
Read when:Life doesn't feel quite as honest as you'd like and you're ready to do the internal work to be your truest self.
The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions In The Midst of Endless Demands by Lysa TerKeurst
Learn to stop doing too much for the wrong people with this read.
Read when:You're sick and tired of being sick and tired and want to learn healthier ways of planning and living out your best life.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on February 25, 2019
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Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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