20 Slow Jams To Set The Mood
Music has always had a way of evoking all the feels. When you’re down bad, mid-breakup, there’s nobody propping you up quite like music. The same goes for when you’re feeling love or lusty. When you look back in time, you’ll likely associate songs with the struggle. I mean, just think of the days of delicately crafting a playlist (to burn) that stimulated one emotion or another, allowing you to vibe out was a vibe in and of itself. It's the equivalent of that scene from Say Anything with John Cusack.
There’s nothing like a good soundtrack, so consider this your soundtrack to slow-burning, passionate sex. Each of the 20 songs below for sure passed the vibe check – from today’s R&B to a sprinkle of indie rock and throwback (because you can never go wrong with some “oldie but goodie.”). Download these songs via your favorite streaming app, set the mood with your favorite wine, and hit play the next time you have a cute, in-house dinner date or purely a sex date – whichever is preferable on your menu that evening.
Try to keep in mind: vibes over everything. In no particular order, here are 20 slow jams that are as sensual as they are vibey.
"You Right" x Doja Cat & The Weeknd
In true Doja Cat style and, hell, even The Weeknd for that matter, this song comes equipped with a futuristic sound, immoral message, and overall it somehow sets a very sensual mood. The whole song is about infidelity but that never stopped a song from doing numbers – the people seem to love a lowkey sneaky link song. Plus, with this one in particular you can’t help but admire the audacity.
"Like I Want You" x Giveon
"Falsetto" x The Dream
"Hrs and Hrs" x Muni Long
It may be too soon to refer to this as a TikTok classic, but in due time it will certainly become that. For now, we’ll simply classify Muni Long's "Hrs and Hrs" as a TikTok hit. This song went up right before Valentine’s Day, and we were all taken by its cathartic melodic sounds.
"So Anxious" x Ginuwine
"Anointed" x Miguel
"Customer" x Raheem DeVaughn
"Nothing Without You" x Tanerélle
This neo-soul jam by Tanerélle is so vulnerable and raw – it puts the blues in R&B. It’s the way love was intended to be, both beautiful and authentic. It’s a love letter. It’s Boyz II Men's “On Bended Knees” but from a woman’s POV in a new era with a different sound.
"Slow Down" x VanJess & Lucky Daye
"Company" x Tinashe
"pov" x Ariana Grande
Say what you want about Ariana Grande but she never misses. However, she does have some songs that are more prominent than others, especially when it comes to a more gentle vibe. This is one of my favorites because not only is it a lyrical manifestation of self-love wrapped in a love song, but the beat is very soothing.
"Bluff" x Kelela
"Wild Irish Roses" x Smino
"Body" x Summer Walker
Summer Walker knows how to make a toxic love anthem. With "Body" though, there's a subtle vulnerability to her usual choice of subject matter as there's a hint of more self-awareness. She is aware that she shouldn't want or what she feels she needs, but she is revelatory in the fact that it's her body in the driver's seat. The sensual feel of the song and the lyrics are what make it an addition to this playlist.
"PILLOWTALK" x ZAYN
"Sativa" x Jhené Aiko ft. Rae Sremmurd
"Just Another Interlude" x Bryson Tiller
The 'trapsoul' genre is a bad bitch genre, indeed. Bryson Tiller has created something special, to say the least! This song reminds me how much I miss rappers riding the R&B wave with the roughneck rhythm and blues. Not going to lie, this song is personal for me! It tells the story of long-term lovers who can’t help but find their way back to one another despite it only ever resulting in a situationship – they know other people are only temporary. We’ve all been here before. I can’t think of one person who can’t relate to this seemingly perfect summer bop.
"Vibin' Out with ((( O )))" x FKJ
"Get You" x Daniel Caesar ft. Kali Uchis
"Leave the Door Open" x Silk Sonic
Remember what I said about oldies being goodies? Yeah, well, this is definitely not an old song but the whole intention behind it is to provide old-school sounds in a modern era. And though I can count on Bruna Mars to always, always deliver in this niche this one hits something different – providing the sounds and simplicity of the '60s and '70s. By simplicity, I mean lyrics didn’t have to be super intricate; they just put whatever they were feeling out on paper and somehow it sounded seductive. Seriously, my guy said he had some weed, potato chips, and romantic dick – we ate it up.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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