What Music Actually Does For Your Mood (And Your Love Life)
I’m far from someone who has an ear for music, still, I’ve always gotten so excited about music! It’s the way that music has the ability to carry you back to a moment in time. I always, always listen to lyrics, as I like to be able to relate to my music more often than not. (The exception here is the thug anthems.) Whether it be that summer jam that serves as the soundtrack throughout the season or a sexy, down on your knees, begging tune that makes you think of the time you were about to risk it all on love (hello, ‘80s and ‘90s).
Music evokes emotion regardless of how hard we may try to repress it. It’s one of the most powerful art mediums we have to date. And though I’m aware of how I feel when I listen to certain songs, I often wonder how music impacts us day to day plus how it has the ability to improve the sex we’re having. Those sexy playlists actually set the mood in more ways than one. If you have a sex playlist, here’s what type of vibe you’re creating, and if not, here’s why you should get on top of it.
Of course, I’m no expert, so we chatted with Dr. Shay Thomas, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Atlanta, to further understand the four benefits of music, from daily life to the bedroom (or wherever you like to take your hot sex).
1. Therapeutic
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Long workday? A new partner who you haven’t completely become familiar with yet? You probably need to get out of your head. Good news! According to Dr. Thomas, music has the ability to transmit us into a mindful, meditative state. She adds, “It is not only shown to reduce anxiety and improve mood as a general therapeutic technique but it is also used in the medical field to help patients with chronic pain.”
2. Release
I’ve said this before and it’s now been confirmed by an expert, that music can be a powerful catalyst for emotional release. “Music evokes strong emotion, as we reflect on powerful memories," Dr. Thomas says. "Music prompts movement, which helps release negative energy and relieve stress. Music makes us dance, cry, and literally release endorphins, which according to research is the brain's natural pain reliever.”
3. Intimacy
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If you are looking to really create a powerful bond, music might help signal just that. On a basic level music evokes pleasure from its listener due to the dopamine listening to music releases. Thus, science has found that music can improve your sex life, as well as your physical and emotional satisfaction during intimate experiences. “It enhances the experience, emotionally and physically. It intensifies our connection. That's why we feel a natural high at concerts," Dr. Thomas explains.
4. Arousal
According to Dr. Thomas, “Music during sex sparks passion and creativity. As we vibe with the beat, it guides our rhythm/pace. We can also get lost in the lyrics, which helps us escape our inhibitions. Music during sex (and in general) amplifies our arousal and intensifies our connection to the person and to the experience.” This makes a lot of sense, especially because music can often serve as the initiator of sex, setting the stage and the mood.
Next time you’re looking to have a romantic evening, turn the tunes on immediately and see how the whole vibe improves. Start with low music over dinner instead of turning the TV on immediately (something we’ve become far too accustomed to). I’d say this is especially ideal for new partners because it reduces some of that getting-to-know-you tension. Still, it’s equally beneficial to all pairs.
And if you are unsure about the music to add to your playlist, all platforms allow you to search for keywords and I have no doubt that you’ll be able to find something under “Soulful sex playlist.”
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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This Content Creator’s Journey To Clear Skin Began With Trusting With The Process
In About Face, xoNecole gets the 411 on IGers who give us #skincaregoals on a daily. Here they break down their beauty routines on the inside and out, as well as the highly coveted products that grace their shelves and their skin.
Kyra Joe is the Queen of all things beauty. She regularly lets us in on her beauty routine while sharing updates on her dating life. The content creator debuts flawless skin and aspirational makeup routines in each video. As a consumer, it's easy to assume that Joe has always had the perfect canvas for the beauty world. However, that is not the case.
Like most of us, she's experienced her share of struggles with acne and hyperpigmentation. “I saw a dermatologist when I was 14, and the products he recommended didn’t work because I wasn’t consistent,” Joe said. The responsibility and consistency required of Joe in her adolescence made skincare feel like a job rather than a self-care act.
In 2020, things began to take a pivotal turn for Joe when she found herself regularly consuming skincare TikToks during the pandemic. “I saw people showing me how to use skincare products to get rid of hormonal acne and hyperpigmentation. That made a huge difference for me.” Her enjoyment began to arise as she tried recommended products from her favorite skincare content creators.
Joe added, “I was finally starting to enjoy skincare because I was finding products that worked for me through TikTok. I had undereye patches and creams and began building a routine.” What was once a chore has now become a passion. Joe has since grown an online community of more than 200,000 across TikTok and Instagram, sharing her beauty secrets underneath the moniker Kyra Nikole.
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“I learned early on in my journey to keep things simple. I also try to encourage this in my content,” said Joe. Being able to get to the root when a breakout occurs is why Joe chooses and encourages skincare routines to be simple. “If I have a breakout, it’s easier for me to figure out what product causes it if I don’t have an extensive routine.”
Keeping things simple has allowed Joe to clear up her hormonal acne and manage her hyperpigmentation, and keeping things minimal has given Joe a clear canvas for her makeup.
She gave us an inside look into the skincare routine that’s changed her views on self-care:
Kyra Nikole's Daytime Skincare Routine
Step One: Hyper Skin Hyper Even Facewash
Hyper Skin
“I love this because it’s specifically made for hyperpigmentation, and it’s a gentle cleanser.”
Step Two: Pixi Glow Tonic
Pixi
“It’s an exfoliating toner, but it’s light enough to use daily. I use this for both day and night.”
Step Three: Glazing Milk Essence By Rhode Skin
Rhode Skin
“I have eczema and dry skin, so this helps give me the moisture that I need.”
Step Four: La Roche-Posay Moisturizer
La Roche-Posay
“This is just a regular moisturizer that I love because it sits well under my makeup.”
Step Five: Kiehl's Better Screen UV Sunscreen
Kiehl's
"There is no white cast, no peeling, it works under makeup, and it’s SPF 50; there’s nothing better than that!”
Kyra Nikole's Nighttime Skincare Routine:
Joe uses the same products for her nighttime skincare routine, except for sunscreen. Her main goal is to lock in hydration to last the entire evening. Aquaphor is her ointment of choice to ensure her skin gets the moisture it deserves.
Final Step: Aquaphor Healing Ointment
Aquaphor
"Aquaphor does a great job of holding in the moisture.”
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