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What Does It Mean To Be ‘Boy Crazy’ And Is It Really So Bad?
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What Does It Mean To Be ‘Boy Crazy’ And Is It Really So Bad?

If you’ve been anywhere on the internet as of late, you may have noticed the rift between men and women in modern culture. From online debates about splitting bills to the decline in the art of game — most recently coined as “rizz” — you might find it hard to recall a time when having boy problems was (dare I say…) fun.

Blame it on our raging hormones or the blissful cluelessness of what the patriarchy was, but having a crush that was worthy of your daydreams and exercising your romantic delusions was once a joy of girlhood. Fantasizing about the next time you’d run into “you know who” or gushing over his encrypted Instagram messages had a way of keeping the butterflies fluttering for the dream boy you created in your head.


Only now, finding a crush, let alone keeping one, seems like more of a chore than a willful decision. Still, for some women, the intense and sometimes obsessive interest in men has never wavered — making them perpetually boy-crazy.

The term "boy crazy" is a term used to describe a woman with a strong infatuation or fascination for men, particularly in a romantic or sexual context.

In most cases, this could be the homegirl who has a way of bringing your everyday conversations back to the topic of boys. It’s what she thinks about, talks about, dresses for, and pursues when going out. In other words, her world unapologetically revolves around men and her proximity to them.

People who are considered "boy crazy" often prioritize their romantic interests above other aspects of their life. This infatuation or “obsession” with men can often lead to a preoccupation with finding a romantic partner, seeking validation and attention from them, and can shift their mood if their efforts don’t match their predetermined expectations. This can have an effect on their emotions, which can run high with hope and optimism or take a drastic turn depending on the male attention or affection they did or didn’t receive.

While this may sound like an emotional rollercoaster for some, other women enjoy the rush. They find a sense of bliss and freedom from their option to choose what men they’d like to keep in their rotation and which ones get put back on the bench.

While some may judge the “boy crazy” gals in their life, one can’t help but be even a little intrigued by the stick-to-it-iveness on their journey for love, companionship, and romance. Their elastic heart and ability to bounce back from “boy hurt” is a place that us guarded girls can only imagine getting to one day.

Which begs the question: is it really so bad to be a little boy-crazy?

Dating coach and matchmaker Shaneeka McCray says to answer this question, you must first ask yourself what this need for male validation is rooted in.

“Figure out yourself first because all the relationships you're attracting are a reflection of you,” she tells xoNecole. “They're a reflection of who you are and what you believe you deserve.”

McCray often tells her clients that the men they meet and engage with are “you pushed out,” meaning what’s inside of you will typically attract what’s outside of you. Whether your boy-craze is coming from a place of insecurity and a need for validation or a place of confidence and self-assurance, getting a handle on your self-concept is the key to understanding the root of your romantic needs and how they show up.

“So if you're not really appreciating the experiences you're having, then one, you might need to fix your self-concept in terms of, ‘how do I think people see me? And how do I see myself?’” she adds. “Have those positive conversations with yourself because people will always show up the way that you think, and we want to think that we're the sh*t first.”

According to McCray, one of the things that our boy-crazy ladies do get right is their approach to dating with a roster. Having a slew of men on-call can actually serve as a tool for self-discovery in understanding your preferences, boundaries, and, ultimately, yourself in romantic relationships. It makes for “good practice.”

“Most of the time, that's where we can learn a lot of tools,” she says, “A lot of times, we think we're going to just instantly meet that [special] person right away. But be more present in the process, ask questions, and fill your time with things and men that actually make you feel good instead of making you feel worse. There will be people that come along to help you get to the best version of yourself.”

Whether you lean more on the side of dating one guy at a time or don’t mind picking up a new potential boo out at the club or grocery store, there’s something we can learn from the boy-crazed and the boy-detached. Ultimately, we’re all trying to get to the same end goal, which is our forever love, just with different methods.

Oh, the joys of being a woman.

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Feature image by Klaus Vedfelt/ Getty Images

 

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