

I will never forget when a woman that I know followed a man from DC to Nashville, with absolutely no assurances from him that it was going to turn into something serious, only for him to break up with her and then marry someone else. The woman? She was devastated. It also took her a long time to recover because, although the man did not tell her that he wanted her to come nor did he say that something would come of it if she did, she told me herself that she believed if she took the risk and came anyway, it would convey to him that she was all in which would convince him to reciprocate her intentions.
She is exactly why I thought it was important to write this article. The reality is that around 14 million Americans are in some type of a long-distance relationship. Not only that but statistics reveal that a whopping 75 percent of engaged couples have been in some sort of long-distance situation before (even if it was only for a short period of time) and somewhere around 10 percent of marriages began as a long-distance relationship as well. Clearly they are popular. Clearly some relationships end up becoming long-term. And sometimes, even jumping the broom is the end result.
Still, because the marriage rate isn't super high and the woman I told you about isn't exactly an anomaly if you're someone who's strongly considering getting into a long-distance relationship, here are seven things that I definitely think you should think really long and hard about. First.
1. How Realistic Are You About Relationships, in General?
Relationships are awesome (well, healthy ones are). You know what else? They tend to require quite a bit of time, effort, and energy. That's why, something that I tend to say, pretty much on loop, is if you're a selfish individual, you have absolutely no business being in a relationship — especially when it comes to a long-distance one. Unfortunately, a lot of people feel so automatically entitled in a relationship that they don't even take the time to ponder if they are so self-serving that they are not willing to put in the work that is needed in order to make a relationship thrive and last.
Not only that but when something is long-distance, it can cause them to become pretty unrealistic about relationships, in general, because they have a tendency to be a lot like honeymoons in the sense that, since they don't really get to see their partner all of the time, every time they do, they're so excited that they may not even really get into the day-to-day challenges that seeing each other on the regular typically reveals.
Listen, I know many people who dated long-distance, got married and then, a few years later, either they were absolutely miserable or they ended up calling things off altogether. Why? Because they were so caught up in the romance of it all that they didn't realize they actually didn't know one another as well as they thought they did. That's why, before getting into all of the other things that you should ponder before getting serious with someone who lives in another city, state or even country, you should think long and hard about if you have a tendency to take a realistic approach to relationships or…not.
2. Are You Good at Prioritizing Relationships?
Straight up, there are some spouses I know who, although they love their partner to pieces, their relationship is still basically hanging on by a thread and it's all because they didn't prepare for how they were going to have to make their union a top priority in their life. In their mind, their marriage was going to be in the top five, for sure, when really, it needs to be right there under God. Everything else comes after (kids included; kids are fine when parents are in a good space).
Not to say that this point isn't something that requires a lot of planning and intention. I mean, there's work, there's family, there are friendships, there are daily to-do lists and schedules, there's "you" time — there's so much besides your relationship that you've got to maintain. And when the person you're dating isn't around you, it can be really easy to push them further and further down your priority list.
I will be the first to say that dating someone is not the same thing as being married to them (check out "7 Things That Make Marriage Different From Seriously Dating"). Where I'm going with this is while I don't think dating someone long-distance requires prioritizing them in the way that you would a spouse, it's still important to keep in mind that even more effort is needed to remain connected to someone who isn't close by. If you're not great at prioritizing or you're a huge procrastinator, that's another reason to consider maybe pumping the brakes on a long-distance situation.
3. What Do Your Finances Look Like?
Lucky for people now, smartphones are in these streets. Personally, I still remember when there were long-distance carriers and even calling cards. Yeah, talking on the phone in another state could literally end up costing the same as rent, if you weren't careful. Still, even though cells and communication apps like Skype and WhatsApp mean that you can talk to somewhere, literally anywhere, for hours, free of charge, ask someone who's been in a long-distance relationship before and they will tell you that it's a pretty penny investment.
Matter of fact, I recently read that if you're dating someone who lives far enough from you that you choose to fly to where they are and then go on a couple of dates while you're with them, just two of those trips could run you somewhere around $3,696. On the other hand, a couple who lives in the same city can go on a date, once a week, and only pay $2,600 annually to do so. That's a big-time cost difference right there.
Everything worth having is going to cost you on some level. The point here is if money is super tight, you need to really think about if you and (potentially) yours can afford to be in a relationship right now. Better to be honest on the front end, remain friends and perhaps finally prepare for what the future could hold than to get into something that you can't afford and then become resentful when either you can't see each other much or you're pissed because it's draining so much of your wallet(s).
4. How High Is Your Sex Drive?
I've shared, many times, that I am a marriage life coach. That's a part of the reason why I reference marriage so much (I also am a huge fan of that kind of relationship). And if there is one thing that I find myself constantly dealing with, it's couples who truly underestimated 1) how important sex is in a relationship and 2) how much sex drives can sometimes clash.
Although sex is a vital part of any serious relational dynamic, when you're in a long-distance relationship, unless the two of you mutually decide to wait for a long period of time or even until death parts you, sex can sometimes have even higher expectations because the physical time apart could result in you wanting sex to be more — shoot, more everything. More creative. More passionate. More often. Just more.
The really interesting thing about sex when it comes to long-distance couples is some partners desire visits to be non-stop romps while others could do without the sex because they want to mentally and emotionally connect more instead. There is no right or wrong here. The main point is to be honest about what your actual needs are and, if the two of you have decided to be exclusive, you need to be real with yourself (and them) about if that is something you can realistically be — or not.
5. What Is Your Love Language? What Is His?
Words of affirmation. Physical touch. Quality time. Acts of service. Gifts. These are the five things that are considered to be love languages (ways that we want love expressed to us). When you're in a relationship with anyone, it's important that you share with them what your two primary love languages are and also that you find out what theirs are in return. Oh but baby, when you're in a long-distance situation, take the relevance of this point up about five notches. Absence can be difficult, so it's crucial that you and yours stay connected by fluently speaking one another's language to each other.
Not only that but…say that you are a big gifts person and your partner is all about physical touch. He can send stuff to you on the regular and cause you to have warm fuzzies. Meanwhile, I don't care how much FaceTime or even phone sex happens between the two of you, he's going to get pretty antsy at some point because he needs to hold hands, cuddle and kiss — even more than you do. So yeah, discussing each other's love languages — and if you both are committed to speaking it to each other on the regular — is also something that is important before making a go of it. Because if neither of you is feeling loved, how can things work? Or last? Especially when there are many miles between you.
6. Are You Good at Compromising?
A writer and life coach by the name of Donna Martini once said, "Compromise is not about losing. It's about deciding that the other person has just as much right to be happy with the end result as you do." Lawd. If I could print this on a mug and send it to every long-term couple I know, I most certainly would! Far too many people go into relationships thinking that the objective needs to constantly be about convincing their partner to do what they want or that their way is the "right" way, when it really is much more about learning negotiation skills so that you both can find some common ground.
When you're in a long-distance relationship, especially, you are going to be challenged to be flexible and meet your partner halfway. Sometimes he won't get to come to you, so you'll either have to go out to him or wait. Sometimes there will be things that take precedence that may require you not speaking as long or much as usual. Sometimes you'll have to decide if dragging out an argument is worth the precious time that the two of you have together. Sometimes you're simply going to have to agree to disagree because having peace is more important than proving him wrong (especially when it comes to topics that don't have a real right or wrong, just a different perspective).
Bottom line with this point is lasting relationships require a willingness to bend and — dare I say it — sometimes even sacrifice because sacrifice means giving up one thing for something greater. Hey, if not seeing him for Valentine's Day means that he can stay even longer for your birthday…isn't that a fair compromise in many cases? If you're like, "Hell no. Things need to happen my way or not at all," well, you're probably not the best candidate for a long-distance relationship. Or any relationship, really, now that I think about it.
7. Where Do You Want Your Relationship to Be a Year from Now?
Long-distance relationships can be frustrating. They require so much that sometimes you're tired of putting so much into it when you're not sure if all of the giving is going to pay off. That's why I'm going to end with the fact that you should also ask yourself if you are contemplating getting into one because you want to semi-casually date or because you want to work towards something far more serious. If the answer is "B", then before making things official, discuss with your prospective partner where both of you would like to see the relationship within the next 12 months.
If marriage is on the table, this means that you both need to start using this time to not only cultivate your relationship but also figure out where you're both going to live, what career shifts need to be made and how you're going to adjust your lives in order to get things to the next level. Off the rip, you're going to be making sacrifices to be together. You need to be crystal clear how many sacrifices need to be required to get to where you both want to go — together.
Trust me, I could come up with several other things that are worth considering when it comes to being in a long-distance relationship. For now, what I will say is that if you take these seriously, it can help you to have a realistic look on this type of dynamic so that you can either get into a long-distance relationship and thrive or decide that it's not the thing for you and wait for what actually…is.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your February 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Self-Love & Soulful Alignment
Explore your sign’s 2025 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
February is a coming together, as a culmination of community and abundance is evident. Some significant planets go direct this month after being retrograde since this past year, and we can finally take a deep breath. We walk into the month in Aquarius season, and the focus during this time is on coming together with the people you resonate with on a soul level, opening your heart to love, and gaining perspective in the process. When the Sun is in Aquarius, everything feels more electrified and inspiring, and this is one of the best months of the year to manifest and set your intentions.On Feb. 4, Venus enters Aries, Jupiter goes direct in Gemini, and the energy and passion return. Venus in Aries is fiery, dynamic, and puts self-love first. While Venus is in Aries for the entire month, February is all about going after the things you want in love, and trusting that you will be supported here. Jupiter goes direct on the same day after being retrograde since Oct. 9, and we can see our blessings manifest more effortlessly now, especially regarding communication matters, networking, short travels, education, and the mind. Jupiter finishes its Gemini transit on Jun. 9, so over the next few months, this is a good time to expand your mind and your vision, get creative, and meet new people.
What February 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
The Full Moon of February occurs in Leo on the 12th, and this is the Snow Moon of the year. This Full Moon brings emotions to the surface and creates self-clarity and honesty in the process. This Full Moon is a time to let go of old versions or ideas of yourself that don’t align with who you are today and to focus on what feels authentic and empowering for you right now.
On Valentine's Day, Mercury enters Pisces until Mar. 3, and the mind is on love right now.
While Mercury is in Pisces, we speak in words of poetry and spirituality, and mental connections turn into romantic ones. This is a beautiful energy to walk into on the day of love, signifying an urge to be around people who truly understand you right now.
Pisces season begins on Feb. 18, and we move into a time of closure, healing, creativity, and introspection. On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in Cancer after being retrograde here since Jan. 6, and being retrograde in general since Dec. 6. With Mars now direct, there is more energy and direction at our disposal, and less confusion on where to go from here. Mars will be direct in Cancer until Apr. 18, and there is a lot of love, support, and intuition to be felt right now. Mars in Cancer supports others while also cherishing boundaries, and this is a good time to feel more stability in matters of the home and heart.
We end the month with a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is a time of magic, dreams coming to fruition, and romance in the air.
A New Moon in Pisces reminds us that what has been lost always comes back around in a new form, and helps us see what our heart is grateful for right now. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for the future and to dream the dream. Overall, February is an inspiring and enlightening month, and your heart is the one leading the way right now.
Read for your Sun and Rising Sign below to see what February has in store for you.
ARIES
February is all about love for you, Aries. You are thriving within relationship matters as Venus is in your sign for most of this month. Venus moves into Aries on Feb. 4 and will be here until Mar. 27, however, Venus will be going retrograde in your sign on Mar. 1. So, use February to walk into some new beginnings in love, but remember to take your time with things here as well. You are overall feeling more reciprocity, support, and positive recognition now, and self-love is key this month.
On Feb. 12, we have a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this Full Moon occurs in your 5th house of romance.
This is a beautiful Full Moon for seeing love bloom and for experiencing a sense of fulfillment that brings you closer to another. Before the month ends, Mars goes direct after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with the home, family, close loved ones, and emotional stability. With Mars now direct here, new foundations can be built in your world, and you feel more supported and secure as you end the month.
TAURUS
This month is a time to reflect, accept, and move into your new beginning, Taurus. There is a lot to process this month, and with the Sun in your 10th house for most of February, a lot of your focus right now is on your goals, purpose, and life path. The Full Moon happening mid-month is an opportunity for you to see things clearer in the home, and to create space for more support and nourishment here. You are letting go of what is weighing you down or making your emotional world feel more difficult to process this month.
Mercury enters your 11th house of hope, community, friendship, and manifestation on Valentine’s Day this year, and you move into a time of inspiration. You are thinking of all the things that make you feel empowered, loved, and in tune, and it’s time to create more of this energy around yourself. We have a New Moon in this same area of your chart before the month ends on Feb. 27, and you are ready to look forward in life rather than at the past of what could have been.
Overall, this month is about listening to your heart and spending more time taking care of yourself.
GEMINI
February is a chance to take a break, Gemini. You need more time to process and prepare for what’s ahead of you, and you are taking the time to do so this month. February begins with Jupiter going direct in your sign after being retrograde here since Oct. 9. Jupiter, the planet of blessings, will be direct in your sign until Jun. 9, and won’t be here again for another decade. This is your opportunity to set intentions, focus on your dreams, and make some important achievements happen.
Extra good luck and support from the universe are with you now, and the key for you is to let things come to you naturally through patience and dedication.
On Feb. 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and some important culminations are coming through in matters of the mind. You are coming to some conclusions about something, and it’s changing your perspective overall. Before the month ends we have a New Moon in an area of your life having to do with your career, professional world, and reputation, and this is a good time to set your intentions for what goals you want to see through right now.
CANCER
February is a month of enlightenment, Cancer. You are aligned with the path you are walking on right now, and everything is starting to make a little more sense to your heart. This month we have a Full Moon in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving away from an emotionally heavy space. You are letting go of a lot of what has kept you conflicted, and there is a sense of peace that is being obtained in the process. This is your month of inspiring others through your resilience and gift of forgiveness.
Mars goes direct in your sign on Feb. 23 after being retrograde here since Jan. 6. With Mars retrograde in your sign since we began the year, there has been a lot for you to reflect on and emotionally process, and you are seeing yourself and your life with a new perspective and passion. Mars will be in Cancer until Apr. 18, and this is the time to take action on the things that you haven’t been ready to move forward with these past few months. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces, and you are leaving the month in the mood for an adventure.
This is the time to get out of your comfort zone, travel, or do something fun.
LEO
February is about protecting your energy and what you are bringing to fruition in your life, Leo. With a Full Moon in your sign mid-month, you are moving through a time of culmination, release, and inner clarity, and there is a lot to reflect on right now. You are recognizing your need to create boundaries from those who don’t serve you or your life path and are focusing on the things that feel good for you.
With the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month as well, you are gaining clarity on the relationships you want to move forward with, and where you need to create more space.
Venus is in Aries and in your 5th house of romance, self-expression, creativity, and joy for most of the month, and your heart is yearning for some excitement. When it comes to love in February, opportunities are coming to the surface for you to get out of your head and into your heart, heed the call. At the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving into a breakthrough. You end February with less weight on your shoulders and more energy to just be.
VIRGO
Trust your intuition this month, Virgo. February is a month of getting organized, gaining clarity, and feeling purposeful. With Jupiter going direct in your 10th house at the start of the month, blessings follow through regarding your career and professional world. The intentions you have been setting and going over these past few months, are coming to fruition for you now, and you are being recognized and supported for your efforts here. This is a month of feeling a level up in your life, and like you are where you want to be.
Mars goes direct on Feb. 23, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with friendship, community, and your hopes and dreams over the past month or so. With Mars now direct in Cancer, it’s easier for you to feel hopeful and to see and experience the magic in life. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your sister sign Pisces on Feb. 27, and love takes on a new beginning. This New Moon is one of the best of the year for you to set your intentions for love, and trust where your heart is being called to right now.
LIBRA
February is all about perspective and the intentions you are setting in your life through the thoughts you are thinking, Libra. The Sun is in your house of romance and Venus is in your house of partnership for most of the month, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. New developments are coming to fruition within your relationships, and you are reaping what you have sown, feeling grateful for what has come to fruition for you.
This is a beautiful month for travel, moving forward in your partnerships, and feeling more commitment and support in doing so.
With Jupiter also going direct this month, your home life and foundations see improvements and expansion. Anywhere you have been feeling limited here is being lifted for you now, and you are able to breathe and think bigger about what is possible for you and your sense of stability in life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is a chance for you to connect with the people who inspire you, and to let go of anything that doesn’t feel authentic to who you are today or how you feel about things.
SCORPIO
February is a month of feeling loved, Scorpio. Everything's coming together for you exactly how you have envisioned it, and with the Sun in your house of family, support, and foundations, you are feeling closer to your loved ones in the process. We have a Full Moon in your 10th house of career in mid-February, and culminations are coming through in your professional world, as recognition for your efforts and hard work are here for you now. This Full Moon is about taking the time to congratulate yourself for how far you have come and to feel gratitude for your progress in life.
On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in fellow water sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with travel, adventure, spirituality, and education over the past month or so. With Mars now direct, travel plans follow through and it’s easier for you to see the bigger picture. The New Moon of the month takes place on Feb. 27, and this is a beautiful time for you to experience joy and pleasure. You are ending the month by making your inner child happy, showing up, and connecting with the love that surrounds you now.
SAGITTARIUS
This month is a transition month for you, Sagittarius. You are moving on from what has been, and a few of you may even be moving physically or traveling during this time. This is a month of getting into new energy and letting things go where it is needed. February begins with your ruling planet Jupiter going direct after being retrograde since last fall, and you are able to experience more of the blessings in love that you have been looking for.
Love turns a new page this month, and it’s because you are no longer settling for things that don’t align with what you want for yourself or your future.
On Feb. 12, a Full Moon is happening in an area of your life that has to do with your passion, inspiration, travel ventures, and perspective, and you are getting the full picture right now. This Full Moon is about accepting the truths that have come to the surface and following through on plans that you have had for yourself. Mars goes direct in your 8th house of transformation on Feb. 23, and you end the month experiencing a personal breakthrough. A lot is changing for you in February, and you are the one leading these efforts forward because you are owning the life you deserve.
CAPRICORN
A new month is here, and you are looking forward to all of the new experiences you are about to get into, Capricorn. February is an inspiring, passionate, and eye-opening month for you and you are making a lot of progress. With the Sun in your 2nd house of finances, values, and self-confidence for most of the month, you are spending a lot of your time developing new plans and intentions for yourself, especially financially. Mid-month we have a Full Moon in your 8th house of shared resources, and the support that you need to thrive and expand financially right now is becoming clearer to you.
Towards the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your sister sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with love, partnership, and harmony over the past month or so. With Mars moving forward again, so are you in love, and your relationship dynamics feel a little more balanced and empowered for you. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces to close out the month, and this New Moon for you is all about setting your intentions regarding communication, networking, and the ideas you want to build off of right now.
AQUARIUS
Your season is here, and everything is falling into place for you now, Aquarius. This is a month of feeling a positive culmination of everything you have been working towards, and seeing the rewards for your efforts. With the Sun in your sign until the 18th, all eyes are on you and you are focused on your personal goals, investments, and self-courage. Jupiter goes direct as we begin the month, turning things around for you in love and helping you see things with a new perspective here.
Blessings and understanding within relationship matters bloom for you now, and you can finally take a break from the confusion here.
With Venus in your 11th house of friendship for most of February, this is the month for connecting with the people who you resonate with on a soul level and giving your heart more time to enjoy the company. The Full Moon happening mid-month occurs in your opposite sign, highlighting your romantic life and sense of partnership. Love comes full circle as you let go of the past here and see the gifts of the partnerships you have been building in your life.
PISCES
February is your month of abundance and opportunities, Pisces. There is a lot to tend to this month, but you have the empowerment and passion to do so. Jupiter goes direct in your 4th house as the month begins, and you are feeling stronger foundations emotionally and within the home right now. Progress is being made in the spaces that are close to the heart, and you are feeling the blessings of support and stability in your life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is about letting go of unhealthy daily routines or habits and giving yourself more space to figure out what feels right for you.
On Valentine's Day this year, Mercury enters your sign, and your mind is focused on love, understanding, and connection. The conversations you are having now are fulfilling your heart and inspiring you, and you are gaining clarity in relationship matters as well. Pisces season officially begins on Feb. 18, and it’s your time to shine, to love, and to be loved in return.
Before the month ends we have a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is one of the best times of the year for you to set your personal intentions, manifest, and reinvent yourself.
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When you work with couples (especially married ones), you’re gonna hear just about everything (relationship-related) eventually. Here’s what I mean: About six months ago, while in a session with a couple, after asking them both to rate their sex lives on a scale of 1-10, while the wife said “8,” the husband gave a surprising answer. “Well, the sex is like a 9 if you’re talking about intercourse but it’s like a 5.5 overall.” Huh? What does that mean? “She is silent in bed and I hate it. And no matter how much I bring it up, nothing changes.”
After about three sessions, we were able to figure out what was going on. She was self-conscious in that area, plus, she also thought that hearing wasn’t a sense, in sex, that should be a big deal. If you’re on her team, you can check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever” to grasp why that is absolutely not true. Not only does research tell us that sex sounds can help us to perform better, it can boost our (sexual) self-esteem, help us to communicate pleasure (and sometimes, displeasure) and it can also be a form of reassurance for (and from) your partner.
All of this got me to thinking: although a lot of people do actually enjoy sounds and/or words during sex, out of random curiosity, I wanted to know which ones they are — and why. And so, I got together 12 people (six men and six women) who told me what they enjoy hearing most during coitus. After reading this, please feel free to hop in the comments to share if you can relate — or if other things work for you instead.
*Middle names are used in my interview pieces so that people can speak freely*
1. Haven. 34. In a Serious Relationship.
“Cue Destiny’s Child’s ‘Say My Name,’ girl! There is nothing better than a man being inside of you and saying your name at the same time. There’s a sneaky hack to this too: It’s been my experience that men who don’t say a woman’s name then is because they don’t want to mess up and say her name with some other chick. If he says yours, there’s no one else or he doesn’t care about slipping up. Don’t challenge me on this until you’ve thought it through and tested it out. It has always worked for me.”
2. Nathaniel. 28. Single.
“I never got why people were into porn. Mostly all they are doing is moaning and screaming a lot and even that sounds fake. I like words. Tell me what feels good and what you want more of. Say it in a way that is sexy not like you’re a military instructor. I don’t like silence but if you’re gonna just make sounds and not say anything, I’m not turned on as much.”
3. Xen. 40. Married.
“Cuss words. Dirty, filthy, on-repeat cuss words. It’s funny because I don’t cuss in ‘real life’ at all, so when I first got with my now-husband and I was screaming ‘F-ck me!’, he really didn’t know how to take it. It’s not that I have a problem with cussing. I’ve just always associated it with sex, so that’s where it comes up. I won’t get into what he says back…that’s between us. We’re quite fluent in the swear words and they are excellently positioned during sex, though. Know that.”
4. Douglass. 39. Dating.
“My favorite is to be told how good I taste and to hear how a woman responds when I say the same thing to her. I don’t think women realize how self-conscious it can make us if they turn up their face at the thought of swallowing or if they spit it out in front of us. Imagine if we were that way to you? A woman who is all-in, giving and receiving, with head? She’s a fan favorite.”
Shellie here: This actually reminds me of an Instagram post that I recently watched. It’s, eh, poetic enough that you can probably watch it at work. Umm, I think. LOL. You can check it out here. Oh, and cue Lil Wayne’s “Lollipop” song too.
5. Nori. 29. Dating.
“I don’t know what it is, but any time a man whispers, ‘Whose is it?’, that is going to make me bust right there! He can’t say it; he has to whisper it and, preferably, he needs to do it right when he enters and right before he knows that I’m about to cum. It’s kind of primal in a way. Since I like intense, animalistic sex — that tracks.”
6. Jacob. 27. Engaged.
“The first time I heard a woman say, ‘Pound my p-sssy, n-gga!’, I lost it — yes, ‘it’, right there! If you’re a man who gives even half of a damn, a lot goes through your mind during sex including making sure that you are being as gentle and comfortable as possible. When you come across a woman who doesn’t give a damn about sh-t like that, who wants you to let go and be free — you’re in for a great night. You just might get turned out in the process too.”
7. Vivyca. 43. Single.
“Who doesn’t like to hear how good they feel? Just make sure that you’re as descriptive as you can be. How warm am I? How wet am I? How do I feel on you? Moan and grunt a bit in between your words. Make me understand what I feel like because I don’t know unless you tell me. Is it getting hot in here? Damn.”
8. Keith. 35. In a Serious Relationship.
“I like humming. Hum in my ear. Hum on my ear. Hum on my penis. The sensation of humming is indescribable.”
Shellie here: I did some quick research on this one. According to science, humming improves our mood and feels really good — on the giving and receiving end. So, Keith might just be onto something with this one.
9. Queen. 24. Dating.
“You ever notice how men want to come out of you, right after they nut? That annoys me [insert laughter here]! I was so used to that, that when an ex of mine would hold my hips and say, ‘I’m not ready to leave yet’ — that would sometimes make me have another orgasm. Now I’m trying to figure out how to get other guys to say it. Suggestions?”
10. Erik. 43. Single.
“I’ve been with a few bi and multilingual women in my time. I’m always excited to find that out. A woman who moans in another language? Top-tier sh-t. The accent. The new words. All of it. Nothing has been better in my book yet and I’m middle-aged!”
11. Sloanne. 35. In a Serious Relationship.
“It might sound self-involved but my favorite thing to hear during sex is mostly myself. Damn, now that I said that out loud, it REALLY sounds arrogant but hear me out! I like hearing me enjoy ‘him’. Like when I tell my man that he makes me wet or he gets me to, what’s the word — coo, it arouses me more because it’s almost like I’m not in control of what comes out of my mouth. My job requires that I be hypervigilant with what I say — I just love the vocal release that comes from sex because I can let it all out.”
12. Reid. 30. Married.
“’Mercy sex’ is awful. Men endure it because, if that’s the only way that we’re going to get some — okay. But when you’re just having sex with us to get us to not want to for the next few days, your attitude and energy are going to show it. That’s why I like it when my wife tells me not to cum yet or to stop what I’m doing because she’s not ready to. That means she’s in the moment and doesn’t want to rush. Music to a married man’s ears!”
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Again, I’m always going to believe that…vocal activity during sex is going to make sex better because even reading this had me a little tingly inside. LOL. Seriously, though, the (main) purpose of this was simply to remind you that sex is best when EVERY PART OF YOU is involved. DIY sound effects included.
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