![Quantcast](http://pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-GS-HF4BKvzCmv.gif)
![Can You Be Friends With An Ex AND Be In A Relationship? 4 ‘Insecure’ Fans Sound-Off](https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzM4MzE5OC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTc3NjQwMjcxMX0.SMAJ65Uu2n9zs7j_MvsV5v8LkHGNXMXKpRHLduWhHLk/img.jpg?width=1200&height=600&quality=90&coordinates=0%2C177%2C0%2C506)
Can You Be Friends With An Ex AND Be In A Relationship? 4 ‘Insecure’ Fans Sound-Off
With the Black Lives Matter movement rightfully capturing the attention of the country, it's been a tough couple of weeks but leave it to Issa and friends to offer a nice little reprieve of Black joy with another Insecure episode. Last week left off with Issa getting that old thing back with Lawrence. This week, Nathan re-entered the equation.
Who's watching @insecurehbo 🔥#InsecureHBO Just finished protesting in the streets so I can't watch with y'all but I'm tweeting in spirit. Hopefully this can be healing for y'all. ✊🏽🙏🏽🖤 pic.twitter.com/DrEIy0ugEr
— Kendrick Sampson (@kendrick38) June 8, 2020
Long story short…
Issa and Molly FINALLY had the talk. But it did not go at all how fans of the dynamic duo hoped. In the meantime, Issa was juggling her new situationship status with Lawrence and a friendship with her ex-bae-turned-homie Nathan. She was honest with both men but still stressed at even the potential of drama.
Stressed Issa Rae GIF by Insecure on HBOGiphy
I personally feel like "ex" and "friends" shouldn't be in the same sentence. Friendly, OK. But friends, no. If I'm super into you, then knowing you're hanging out and chatting with your ex, without me, will only make me think the worst. I'm aware that some folks remain really good friends with exes even in new thriving relationships, but I'm also aware that I don't have that level of maturity. Rather than have my mind constantly wandering, I'd avoid putting myself in this situation altogether. I understand they were around first, but my partner would have to understand that I'm bae now. Asking them to cut ties with old bae shouldn't be an issue.
I'm sure Insecure fans everywhere were chatting about the sticky situation like my friends were, so I reached out to a few more super fans of the show to see what they think about this:
Can you be friends with an exand be in a relationship?
It’s On You To Create A Respect Level
"You can but you can't. It'll always be a topic of conversation. There will also be tension there on all sides. But it's all about understanding that the person you're with had a whole life before meeting you. I'm friends with most of my exes.
"I've experienced them still feeling entitled to my attention when I have a new relationship."
"I've seen signals get crossed when the person I'm with feels like they have something to prove. But it's really on you to create a respect level and not make it awkward. It's also up to you to reassure your partner that the past is the past." –Hala Maroc, Personality/Wellness Advocate TheBadassBootcamp.com
A Facebook Friend, But Not A Real-Life Friend
"I think we should all know the answer to this one... NO! (laughs) I just don't think it's necessary to be friends with your ex. I think you should just leave your ex in the past. Being friends with your ex can interfere with your next relationship so why even run the risk. Your partner might not trust you around your ex, so many issues can arise from being friends with an ex. You had friends before your ex and you'll have friends after them so your friendship with them is unnecessary.
"A lot of times one party still has feelings, and if that's the case is that a true friendship? You're probably just low key waiting for the person to be single again so you can try to get back together with them. At best, your ex can maybe be an acquaintance or your Facebook friend but not a real-life friend." –Ayana Gotay
The Real Question Is, SHOULD You?
"You CAN be friends with an ex and be in a relationship, but the real question is SHOULD you? I have exes who I'm cordial with. We don't hang out (unless it's a group setting if we share friends), we don't talk daily and I'm pretty sure they're not going to ask me (a woman) to help them move or pack boxes.
"Should you choose to have an active friendship with your ex, there needs to be strong boundaries in place."
"They need to know if they cross any lines that you deem disrespectful or malicious, the friendship is done. If the relationship with your ex makes your new bae uncomfortable, then you have to decide which relationship is more important to you." –Amiyah Deziire, Author, Midnight Confessions
It’s Situational
"Before forming a new bond with an ex and labeling him/her as a friend; communicate with your significant other and get his/her opinion on the situation. If they are against it or question it, then take that into consideration. It depends on the situation, how you would conduct that friendship, and where that other person is in his/her life. For example, my boyfriend's ex is married with a kid, he is in a relationship with me therefore, there isn't a reason why they would be friends, right? Both are in different stages, states, and situations in their life." –Kateri Fischer, On-Air Scheduling Coordinator, BET Networks
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Featured image by HBO/Insecure
- My Ex Ghosting Me Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me ... ›
- Why Running Into Your Ex Can Be The Best Thing Ever - xoNecole ... ›
- Where Do You Draw The Line Between Relationships & Work-Life ... ›
- Could YOU Be Friends With Your Ex's New Bae? 8 'Insecure' ›
- Reasons You Can't Be Friends With An Ex - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
Jazmine A. Ortiz is a creative born and raised in Bushwick, Brooklyn and currently living in Staten Island, NY. She started in the entertainment industry in 2012 and now works as a Lifestyle Editor where she explores everything from mental health to vegan foodie trends. For more on what she's doing in the digital space follow her on Instagram at @liddle_bitt.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."