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These Quick, Easy & Cheap DIY Beauty Tips Will Get You All The Way Together
The first day of spring this year is March 20. If you're someone who hates cold weather, that's the good news. In the meantime, there are still several weeks ahead where you'll have to bear with the cold temperatures, bitter winds, and messy wet weather—things that can do a real number on your hair and skin if you're not careful. In order to make it all more tolerable, I thought it would be a good idea to offer up some really cheap and easy DIY beauty tips for you during these freezing times. Are you ready to get through the rest of the winter season?
1. Make a Water-Based Moisturizer
Does it seem like you can always write a word on your skin with your nails, no matter how much moisturizing you do? It could be that your moisturizer has the wrong kind of base. What I mean by that is some are made from oil while others are made from water. If you want to lock in as much moisture as possible, a water-based one is gonna be your best bet. Not only does a water-based moisturizer help to keep your skin moisturized longer, but it also helps it to replenish nutrients within it without clogging up pores (which could lead to breakouts) like oil-based ones can sometimes do. There are water-based moisturizers that you can buy at your local drug or department store; however, if you'd like to make your own, I found a pretty easy recipe right here.
2. Add Sugar to Your Shampoo and Honey to Your Conditioner
I don't know about y'all, but something that drives me up the wall about winter weather (and I'm actually a winter fan) is it tends to make my scalp a lot drier. Something that has helped to give me relief is putting some sugar into my shampoo. I'm dead serious. The granules of the sugar helps to exfoliate the scalp. Plus, if I use brown sugar since it's a humectant, it can help to pull more moisture from the air into my hair and scalp.
Speaking of humectants, something else that is one is honey. If you add some to your conditioner, it can make your hair extra soft, the alpha-hydroxy acids in it can also gently exfoliate your scalp and the properties in the honey can help to soothe your hair follicles and smooth out your hair's cuticles.
Also, honey has a way of adding sheen to your tresses too. How much of either? Eh. I'd say no more than two teaspoons in a full bottle is more than enough.
3. Use Dryer Sheets on Your Hair
This one might sound odd, but it really does work. Between the low humidity that winter weather can sometimes bring, along with all of the hats that many of us wear during this time of year, it's not uncommon for our hair to be more "static-y" than usual which can sometimes result in fly-aways (especially if your hair is relaxed). Something that can nip this in the bud is rubbing dryer sheets on your locks. They work because they are able to neutralize the charge in your hair. As a bonus, whatever scent the sheets are will transfer to your hair. A cool hack, indeed.
4. Switch Up Water Temperatures
Here's something that you may not have known before now. While it's pretty much a given that you should consume more water during the winter in order to stay hydrated from the inside out, did you know that the temperature that you drink is important too? The reality is that colder liquids will actually absorb much quicker into your system than ones that are hot or even room temperature. That's why, if you want to be hydrated for a longer period of time, it's best to go with the latter—especially if you're someone who spends a lot of time outdoors.
5. Bathe in Herbal Tea Bags
Question. When's the last time you took a bath in some herbal tea? If your answer is "never", you really are missing out. Tea baths can do everything from detox your skin and balance out your skin's tone to reduce inflammation and soothe psoriasis and eczema-related symptoms. During the winter season, another benefit to soaking in herbal tea is it helps to promote the rejuvenation of your skin's cells.
As a result, no matter how much the cold weather may try and wreak pure havoc on your skin, the herbs from the tea can help to keep your skin soft, protected and undamaged from the harsh weather and the UV rays from the sun.
All you need to do is put about five tea bags into a large pot of water. Bring everything to a boil and then let it steep for 20 minutes before allowing it to cool (at least to a temperature that you can stand). Then pour the tea into your bathwater and soak for another 20 minutes. If you do this twice a week, you will notice a real difference in your skin within a couple of weeks.
6. Seal Moisture in with Sweet Almond Oil
I'm all about sealing in my skin's moisture. Been doing it for years. I simply make sure to cover my body in some sort of oil, right before stepping out of the shower. I typically try and leave it on for a couple of minutes and then towel dry off. It's a great way to lock the oil into my skin so that no lotion (which really isn't the best thing for you anyway because it can clog your skin's pores and make it dull and sensitive over time) is needed.
While there are a few carrier oils that work well (avocado, rosemary and grapeseed come to mind), a personal favorite of mine is sweet almond oil. For one thing, sweet almond oil has vitamins A and E, along with essential fatty acids, proteins and zinc in it. Also, it's the kind of oil that fades scars, soothes dry hands and feet, dislodges impurities from your pores and deeply moisturizes so that your skin is soft and has a vibrant glow. If you don't do anything else on this list, do this. It's one of my favorite beauty regimens to-date. Not too many things top it.
7. Pamper Your Lips with Rose Petals and Almond Milk
Am I the only one who, no matter how much water I might drink, my lips still seem to get chapped? If you can totally relate, a hack that you might want to try is soaking some rose petals into a bowl of almond milk overnight. Rose petals are dope because they're loaded with Vitamin C (which is a powerful antioxidant) and they help your skin to retain moisture. Almond milk is great because, not only does it have antioxidants in it too, it also contains Vitamin E and magnesium—both of these are able to nourish your skin (including your lips) so deeply that chapping and chaffing are significantly decreased. Just mash the petals up the following morning and apply them onto your lips for about 10 minutes before rinsing them off. Your lips will feel silky smooth all day long.
8. Soak Your Feet in Mouthwash
When it comes to this specific DIY winter-related beauty hack, the key is to get Listerine mouthwash. Because it's so potent, the antifungal properties found in menthol and thymol that it contains can help to keep your feet smelling fresh. And if you soak those bad boys in a mixture of 1 ½ cup of Listerine, one cup of white vinegar and 2 ½ cups of warm distilled water for about 30 minutes, the combo will help to break up any stubborn dead skin that might be on your heels. All you need to do after soaking is rub your heels with a pumice stone and the dead skin should literally peel right off.
9. Pamper Your Tresses with Heavy Whipping Cream
Let me circle back to the hair for a moment. If you want a way to deep condition your hair with as little chemicals as possible, I know this might sound crazy, but you should definitely consider applying some heavy whipping cream to it. Not too long ago, I checked out a video that featured a pretty Ethiopian woman doing a tutorial that showed how to make a moisturizing hair butter out of nothing but heavy whipping cream and water and chile—it's right on up there with Chebe powder to me. It's apparently a traditional Ethiopian beauty treatment and since heavy whipping cream is full of protein, fat and lactose acid, it makes sense that it would soften the hair. Anyway, if you want to give it a shot, you can check out here video by clicking here.
10. DIY Some Cuticle Cream
Since outdoor air is colder and the indoor air is drier (because of the heat) during this time of the year, it should be no shocker that your nails are more susceptible to being brittle and breaking. That's why it's better to wear your natural nails at a shorter length and that you keep your cuticles moisturized with some cuticle cream. If you'd prefer to make your own, I found a recipe that consists of lavender and myrrh essential oils that is absolutely amazing. Lavender smells delightful, contains antifungal properties and soothes dry skin. Myrrh oil helps to fight infection, heals the skin and is loaded with antioxidants. If you apply a little bit of your DIY cream in the morning and again at night, your nails will be stronger and you'll decrease your chances of getting hangnails (which is always a bonus) too. You can get the recipe for this cuticle cream here.
11. Sleep in Shea Butter and Aloe Vera
If you're looking for a creamy kind of all-natural moisturizer that will have your skin feeling buttery smooth, you really can't go wrong with combining shea butter and 100 percent pure aloe vera. Shea butter is the fat that is taken out of the shea butter tree. It's rich in vitamins A and E, plus it has antioxidant, antibacterial, and antifungal properties in it. I can personally vouch for the fact that if you use it consistently, your skin will be really soft, your tone will even out, fine lines and wrinkles will fade, collagen production will increase and cells will regenerate.
Adding some pure aloe vera to it will give your skin a nice dose of vitamins C and E which increases skin elasticity, heals skin imperfections and hydrates your skin. Applying a half and half amount of the two to your skin every night can give your skin enough time for the combo to deeply moisturize for hours, so that your skin is as soft as ever, come morning.
12. Use Flannel Sheets
Speaking of bedtime, make sure you're sleeping on some flannel or (my personal favorite) jersey knit sheets. Not only can the warmth of them help to keep your electricity bills down but they both tend to be hypoallergenic, breathable and will help your skin to retain heat and the moisture that you add to it. Plus, they're comfortable as all get out if you prefer to sleep naked, even during the winter months. Just one more thing that can beautify your skin until the flowers start blooming and the birds begin chirps again.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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