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6 Ways To Get Your Mojo Back When Your Confidence Is Slippin'
One scroll on Instagram or a bad hair day can make our self-confidence take a nosedive.
It happens more than we would like it to, but we all have moments when we don't feel like ourselves. Yes, we're the first ones to talk about self-love, but a lack of self-confidence can be just one of the fun (insert sarcasm here) things about being a woman. We all have our Monica moments where it's just one of them days and we just want to be all alone.
The key though, is to not stay down. Here are a few ideas to get your mojo back when your confidence is slipping.
Say Something…
While it might seem like this method is a little overrated, they really do help. And they never get old. I've had times where I was really coming down on myself from my image to my career, but in those moments, we can be our worst critic or our number one cheerleader. The difference is what we say about ourselves. Who cares what anyone else thinks? When you speak out of your mouth that you're amazing, powerful, and a bad mama jama, you'll start to feel the shero within you rise once again. And the best part is that it might take a lot of energy in those moments where it's tempting to have a pity party, but those seemingly little words can make a major difference. You'll be milly rocking in the mirror again before you know it.
Retail Therapy
If you're as frugal as I am, this one might be a difficult one. But it's definitely worth it. I'm not saying you have to splurge on something major. It can be as small as a pair of shoes you've been eyeing or a jacket. Don't get me wrong, I don't think the foundation of our confidence should be the clothes we wear. BUT I'm also a strong believer that when we look our best, we feel good about ourselves, and can at times be even more productive. Besides, it can even be something like purchasing the LLC for your business; anything that will help you feel like you're the amazing woman that you truly are. Whatever you choose, just know that you deserve a good spoiling every once in a while.
Music Is The Move
Okay, so… This might sound really crazy (or not), but it's no secret that music can determine our entire mood. I feel like we all have that one song from Rihanna to Cardi B to Kirk Franklin that helps boost how we feel about ourselves. Whatever song you have, blast it in the car while you sing along or belt it out in the shower and get ready to conquer whatever funk you might be in at the time. We all know that music can create memories, good or bad ones. Something about it has the power to uplift us in a unique way. So use it to your advantage and make new memories with songs that help you get back to feeling the superwoman you really are.
Pamper Yourself
Have you ever noticed what a day at the spa can do for your inner and outer self? Wonders, sis… wonders. Again, you don't have to break the bank. I'm basically the president of all things balling on a budget. From a manicure less than $30 to a pedicure or even a staycation at home for the free-free with your favorite meal, there are certainly ways to pamper yourself to help you get back your mojo. If you still need more suggestions, consider taking a nice, warm bath, or just asking our significant other to rub your feet. Sometimes it's the little things that make a huge difference. Ultimately, you're important enough to take time and not only woosah but also get pampered to help level up your confidence.
Show Off Your Pearly Whites
I always remember reading that it takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 muscles to smile. Still, when we want to be in our own mood and just have a moment, it might seem like spreading our mouth into a smile will take all of our energy; especially if we're forced to interact with the wrong person at the wrong time. Still, it's turning that frown upside down that will help us get our mojo back. Even when we don't feel like it, it can at least put us in a better mood when we're intentional about being happy and getting our confidence on track.
Think Happy Thoughts
This one might not be as tangible, but it's arguably the most powerful. Most of the time (if not all), our insecurity starts within our minds. When you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else or trying to convince yourself that you're not good enough to live the life of your dreams, shut down those thoughts with positive ones. It's been said that you can't fight fire with fire, so the solution might be to say an affirmation out loud or listen to something positive (Sarah Jakes Roberts is always a win for me) that will help you get your bounce back. You can also try reading an inspiring book, or like the point above, listen to music that will encourage you to tap into your best self. 'Cause you're the bomb, sis.
Featured image via GIFs
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."