Need To Make A Big Decision Quickly? Do This.
Business mogul Simon Sinek once said, "There is no decision that we can make that doesn't come with some sort of balance or sacrifice." Keeping that in mind, are you ready to have your mind (at least slightly) blown?
Guess how many decisions you will make before turning it in tonight? You ain't even ready — 35,000! I know it sounds like I'm totally exaggerating (click here to see that I'm not), but when you really think about it, that kind of makes sense.
You had to decide to get out of bed, then decide which room you were going to go into first (usually it's the bathroom, right?). You had to decide what you were going to wear, eat for breakfast and route you were going to take to work. You then had to decide whether or not you were going to cuss out your annoying co-worker and also decide if you were going to procrastinate on that project your boss assigned you. The list goes on and on.
When you really think about how many things require that a decision be made, suddenly 35,000 seems a little on the small side.
Now here's some food for thought. How much weight do you put into the decisions that you make? Do you really believe what Actress Helen Mirren once said, "You write your life story by the choices you make"? Do you apply the wisdom of motivational speaker Mario Teguh when he warns, "Never make a decision when you are upset, sad, jealous or in love"? Is your decision-making motto something along the lines of "Openness, respect, integrity — these are principles that need to underpin pretty much every other decision that you make"? (Justin Trudeau, the current Prime Minister of Canada said that.)
One could say that their entire destiny hinges on the decisions that they make. Keeping that in mind, if you have a really big one coming up and time is not really on your side when it comes to making it, here are five tips to help you make one you can feel good (and sure) about.
Revisit Your Values.
We all have values. But if someone asked you to define what a value system is, what would you say? If it's always some sort of an abstract definition, here's a way to simplify it. Values are simply what you believe and how you choose to live your life based on those beliefs. Your values should be the foundation that determines what (and who) you prioritize in your life. It should also help you to figure out what you want your future to look like.
Say that you value your family. If you're offered a job that will give you more money but will also require you to work twice as much as you do now, if you make a decision based on your value system, you'll probably pass on that gig. What it would cost your family dynamic isn't worth the bump in pay.
So yes, when making a decision, the first thing to consider is what your values are and what choice will affirm vs. compromise them.
Figure Out What You Would Tell Someone Else.
Most of us are experts at giving others good advice. But somehow, when it comes to our own selves, we struggle. Why is that? Because when it comes to us, we're biased. We're also more emotional about our own issues than other people's stuff.
Don't believe me? Think about the last time you gave advice to a girlfriend about a man in her life who was puttin' it down and also not treating her right simultaneously. Now think about the last man who did you the same way. Did you take the advice that you gave ole' girl? If so, how long did it take you to actually follow through?
Some of the best insight is what we would offer the people we care about. When trying to make a decision, think about what you would tell a family member or friend if they were in that same situation. Then try and do what you just advised.
Think About Your Life a Year from Now.
GiphyIf you make a decision based on a temptation, one of the main problems with that is you're probably only focused on the now. Eat that extra slice of cake now. Have sex with that fine man now. Spend money you don't have to buy an outfit you don't really need now. But if all you do is focus on the here and now, you could look up in six months or a year later and realize that giving in to your temptations resulted in your life being a total mess.
A good decision-maker doesn't only care about how a choice affects the present. They do their best to consider how it will impact their future too.
Remember That Indecision IS Decision.
A Jewish philosopher by the name of Maimonides once said, "The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision." I've wasted a lot of time not believing these pearls of wisdom, not so much when it comes to the choices I've made, but as it relates to allowing people in my life to be stagnant when it came to making decisions that directly affected me.
Nothing good comes from procrastinating. Nothing good comes from indecision either. All they do is encourage you to totally disrespect your time. And time? That's one thing you can never get back.
When you've got a decision to make…make it.
Jeff Jahn, the CEO of the software company DynamiX offers up some good food for thought about the patterns related to our decisions:
"Most of what we face each day is similar to other scenarios we have already experienced. By understanding this, it's possible to quickly map a range of previous experiences and their outcomes. Leverage those to arrive at the most viable decision for this case. Over time, as you continue making decisions, their speed and quality will improve."
I really like this because it's a reminder that we should only do what we've done before if that choice worked for our greater good in times past. Otherwise, we probably need to step out of the box a bit.
How far out? That depends. What does your gut instinct tell you?
How much can you trust it? Quite a bit. Not only is your gut shaped by your past choices but also the wisdom you've gained from that. If you add to that the fact that your intuition is literally connected to the nerves in your body, well—it's a confirmation of what I often tell people.
We are comprised of our mind, body, and spirit. All three are designed to live in harmony. When one of them is not in sync with the others, it's a flag that something is "off".
That's why, when you need to make a big decision, your gut should also come into play. If you listen to and honor it, you won't have to waste time (and go crazy) asking a billion other people. So long as your mind, body, and spirit are at peace, you can be too.
You'll be able to co-sign with Caroline Kennedy when she said, "When you make the right decision, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks."
The decision will be made. You can be proud. And both your present and future will thrive because of it.
Related Articles:
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Does Your Life Need Personal Boundaries? Take This Quiz To Find Out – Read More
How The Rise Of Perfectionism Is Stunting Your Growth – Read More
Featured image by Shutterstock
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line CÉCRED & Here's My Honest Review
Beyoncé is snatching our wallets yet again with her latest business venture CÉCRED. In 2023, the Texas native hinted at a potential haircare line when she posted this photo causing fans to speculate that her next project would be focused on her famous tresses - they were right. Her haircare line Cécred launched on February 20 with her first drop called The Foundation Collection which focuses on haircare first, and I can only assume that a style product line for colored-treated hair will likely follow since Beyoncé is known for slaying various shades of blonde.
As a super fan since the early 2000s, it was only right that I give an honest review of the full line and purchase the Super Fan Bundle (retailed at $265) which includes the full product line of the 8 products, as well as a branded cosmetic bag. If you’re thinking, “Girl that bundle is too pricey for me,” I can assure you that for the value you're getting, the price is quite reasonable. This bundle was an intentional and marketable way to allow consumers to experience every Cécred product.
The brand messaging surrounding Cécred has been salon-inspired, and rightfully so as an ode to Beyoncé’s upbringing growing up in her mother’s hair salon in Houston. This line is backed by science and licensed cosmetologists showing that she’s done her research and appointed the experts. Cécred's IG feed has been filled with images and videos inside of hair salons including some videos of Ms. Tina herself assisting in the styling of beauty experts who visited Cécred's private salon to have the VIP treatment!
Now, have I seen influencers, consumers, and beauty stylists using the Foundation Collection at home? Yes, but I thought it was best to experience Cécred with my go-to cosmetologist who also happens to be my Auntie Tawana. She has been my educator and go-to for hair knowledge since I was a child and has had a hand in my mom's hair health which has always been goals for me. As a little girl, my Saturdays were spent sitting in her hair salon while my mama got her hair done as I patiently waited reading Jet and ESSENCE, ever so carefully eavesdropping on the conversations of the ladies who were coming for much more than just a beauty routine, but an experience.
I’d fall asleep on the plush couch in the waiting area flipping through magazines while listening to the sultry sounds of Maxwell. And I had my first lesson in breakup empowerment when I heard Sunshine Anderson’s “Heard It All Before.” So there was no other place for me to go than to see her, and because I’m her niece, I was able to visit her private salon in her home that she calls The After Hours where upon arrival I was greeted with my favorite Black-owned sparkling Rosé, candles lit, and my aunt’s breakdown of Cécred.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
But let me refocus and share my salon experience as I tried Cécred for the first time.
If You’re Wondering…Who is Cécred For?
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
When news of Beyoncé potentially launching a beauty brand hit the internet, there were a bunch of predictions of what and who the line would be marketed towards and if she’d have any wig care products as she’s known for slaying her units! But she went in a totally different direction which I love, and I’m going to tell you why. Critics have questioned if Beyoncé should be venturing into the haircare industry because she is often seen in weaves and wigs, but true Beyoncé fans know that she has healthy hair and that, like many Black women, experiments with various styles.
Cécred was created for all hair types and textures, including straight to coily, virgin, color-treated, chemically processed, and heat-styled. As a Black woman who has worn wigs, had chemically processed hair, heat-styled, natural, and color-treated hair, let me tell you, this was no easy feat! The amount of money I’ve spent on my hair through its various changes just on product alone, forget styling has been astronomical.
Cécred is serving the needs of various hair types in textures and I truly believe that this is going to make Beyoncé a true competitor in the hair industry amongst brands that are comparable such as OUAI and Olaplex. Both competitor brands have similar items at a higher price point and unlike Cécred, their products and brand messaging haven’t always felt inclusive to Black women and other hair types.
Cécred has been tested inclusively and the reviews from various hair types and backgrounds of consumers are allowing the brand to stand out.
I Tried Beyoncé's Haircare Line Cécred: My Honest Review
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
My hair has never felt cleaner and it shined for well over a week following the styling (but the oil should be used sparingly if like me, oil can weigh down your hair.) Immediately when my hair touched the sink, my aunt told me that she saw all the dirt and oils lifting from my hair when she applied the clarifying shampoo. As a girl who loves my curls, I am often judgy when I use any other shampoo and conditioner aside from Pattern, but not this time.
When my aunt guided my hands across my hair, she showed me how my curls weren’t tangled, and how she didn’t need to comb out my curls before applying the moisturizing deep conditioner or the deconstructing treatment mask.
Yasmine Jameelah/xoNecole
She applied each step with care and walked me through the process, and to my surprise, the hair mask wasn’t thick - but through trial and error as a natural girl, I’ve learned that a thick mask doesn’t always equal what’s best for your hair. She styled me with a silk press that left my hair with shine and I can honestly say that each step of the line is needed especially if you are someone who changes up your hair and deals with breakage. If your hair is healthy, you can opt out of the reconstructing treatment mask but I recommend taking the product line to your salon, having a discussion with your stylist on where your hair health needs improvement, and then purchasing based on that.
We know ourselves better than anyone else, but your stylist knows your hair better than you do. I like to lead with their knowledge first and then incorporate what my hair goals are. If you’re a girly who’s committed to hair health and has either the discipline to incorporate each step at home or can bring your products to the salon, Cécred is for you no matter if you’re a silk press or a wash-and-go naturalist.
Give Cécred a try, I’ll be using the line for my hair appointments until it runs out and if I see long-term results, it will be added to the beauty regimen indefinitely.
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Featured image courtesy of CÉCRED