How The Rise Of Perfectionism Is Stunting Your Growth
I overheard a group of women in the locker room as I was getting changed for my usual lunchtime workout session. One complained after weighing herself for what she claimed was the fourth time in two weeks. "I still haven't lost any weight," she said. "I'm not coming back."
From the outside looking in – me being a stranger and all – it appeared that her imperfect results had inspired her to quit the gym altogether. It seemed as though the process of getting fit was too taxing and possibly just taking too long for her. I don't know how long she had been coming to the gym prior to this conversation with her and her friends, but apparently it wasn't working out how she had planned.
I, however, walked into the gym with a different mindset:
Progress, not perfection.
Too often, we want to get things right the first time we try. We want to go in and be perfect. We want to create and be perfect. We want the perfect end result and the perfect time to align them and manifest nothing but perfection. And we'd rather do nothing than settle for anything less than that.
We quit, or never even start, because the time isn't perfect, or the perfect results aren't immediate. We choose not to produce, or complete what we're creating, because we're held up by an idea of perfectionism that doesn't always align with the work we're producing. For many of us, it's either perfection or failure – there is no middle ground.
But we forget the most important part: It's our progress, not our perfection, which gets results. It's what we produce, not how perfect we produce it. While yes, we want to do things well, we cannot allow our desire to do things perfectly stop us from doing things at all.
We can't continue to excuse our inactivity by suggesting that the moments, or circumstances, we currently have aren't perfect enough to manifest greatness. The weather is too cold to go for a run, so we don't. The job isn't right to start setting the stage for better professional opportunities, so we don't. The camera we have isn't perfect for starting a photography career, so instead, we do nothing. The website isn't nice enough, so we don't advertise it. We constantly run from our goals because we feel that the hand we're dealt isn't conducive to the dreams we have. We feel that, if we had a little more money, time, resources – you know, the "perfect" circumstance – then we could really get to work. But in allowing ourselves to stay stagnant because of imperfection, we're doing a disservice to ourselves and those we're meant to serve with our gift.
Instead of striving for perfection, we should be striving for progress.
The truth is, our idea of perfection will constantly evolve as we do. But you may never get there if you don't start somewhere. If you keep allowing your perfection – or lack thereof – to handicap your progress, you will never do or experience anything.
Spiritually, we are people of flaws, and those flaws will present themselves in our behaviors and our creations – especially as we tackle them for the first time. However, that imperfection should not stop us from getting things done.
So, instead of waiting for the perfect time or stressing about creating the perfect product, commit yourself to making progress. To get it done well – not perfectly. To take one step forward of starting to complete tasks on your to-do list(s). To accomplish one more thing off your list of goals. To grow, or learn, or do a bit more in all aspects of your life. Because as each day passes, you'll be one step closer to where you want to be.
If we remember that it is our steps that bring us to growth and completion, not our perfection, we will better position ourselves for greatness.
New things, or trying them, will never be perfect. They will require you to stumble and fall sometimes. They are every part of trial and error that perfectionism can't stand. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do those new things; it just means that you should welcome imperfection.
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Zoe Hunter is the writer, speaker, and creator behind the women empowerment brand DEAR QUEENS. She uses vulnerability, storytelling, and spiritual development to empower women toward healthy decision-making. Stay connected to Zoe's work by visiting DEARQUEENS.com or following her on Twitter @zDEARQUEENS.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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ItGirl In Motion: DonYé Taylor Asked Herself This Question When Creating Her Brainchild
"Being an 'ItGirl' is all about being yourself and taking all of the elements that make you who you are and displaying them at your highest capability," creative brainiac DonYé Taylor says in the introduction of the limited video series, "ItGirl In Motion."
In partnership with Hyundai, xoNecole has unveiled the limited series in conjunction with our inaugural ItGirl 100 list. The list boasts 100 Black women who not only innovate and take up space when it comes to putting on for their cities, but also as the driving force behind brands that create impact for the culture. ItGirl DonYé Taylor is one of the 100 featured ladies who put her purpose into action.
ITGIRL IN MOTION with DONYE TAYLORwww.youtube.com
As a marketing consultant, content creator, and CEO, a driving force behind DonYé's ambitions has been to show others how she sees the world by "creating art and doing things that shift perspective." In founding her brainchild, Nüclei, which is coincidentally also home to the ever-so-chic chrome brain piggybank, DonYé briefly touched on the inspiration behind the brand. "I was like, 'What would it look like if I were to be of service to myself?' And that's what made me create Nuclei," she said.
Watch the video above to take a peek into the life of the LA-based ItGirl, the importance of Black women receiving our "flowers" while we're here, and the three things she believes are absolutely essential to any ItGirl.
See our ItGirl 100 list in full here. Click through the gallery below for some BTS moments of DonYé and our partnership with Hyundai.
CREDITS
Director: Mikkoh @mikkoh
Production Company: @30inthemorning
AD/Gimbal Op: @jeffreyrattanong
DP: @jucelandrin_
Editor: @30inthemorning
1st AC: Bonnie Delgado @bonniebellevue
2nd AC: Liz Robles @lizfatimarobles
FPV Drone Op: Kai Kevin Goh @kaivertigoh
Gaffer: Nelson Nguyen @nelson_ftw
Key Grip: Ames Hoang @mangothemaker
SLT: Jamon Tolbert @jamon.tolbert
Sound Mixer: Deyo Forteza @introducingdeyo
PA: Breyona Holt @exquisite_eye
PA: Aminah Muhammad @aminahmuhamm
BTS: Marika Belamarich @marikarosegold
Featured image by Marika Belamarich for xoNecole