The Rise Of Hustle Culture & How It Impacts Our Well-Being
"I'll sleep when I'm dead."
It's a sobering statement when you see it in black and white.
We're always booked, traveling, burning the midnight oil, and rising with the sun. Yet, hustling ourselves into oblivion doesn't seem to make us any happier. In fact, quite the opposite rings true.
With reports of people all over the world literally dropping dead due to exhaustion, it's safe to say we've been programmed to scoff at the gift of life. We're dogging the one thing we swear we're trying to improve.
Hustle culture is killing us - and we're letting it. For likes.
Photo: CreateHERStock
What's Your Life Worth To You?
Hustle culture is attractive on its surface. It sure charmed me. A few years ago, I was always on a plane or train. I was always posting a photo to prove how busy I'd become. I was always adding my two cents to public conversation about topics I'd been working directly within. I was making great money. I wasn't sleeping. My boss had access to me around the clock. I'd skipped a family member's funeral to work. Surely, everyone could see I was hustle goals - doing whatever it took to show commitment. I'd mastered it.
I burned out after a year and a half.
Clinging to hustle culture for all we're worth is cool until it's not. And I wonder if it's illusory perception of completeness is all we believe we're worth.
Studies show that increased salaries past a certain threshold typically do not increase happiness. So what, exactly, are we hustling toward? If securing the bag and a flawless public perception are our main goals - we are dangerously neglecting to enrich our lives the way we think we are.
Look, I don't want to be broke. I'd venture to guess that no one does. It doesn't feel good and it isn't conducive to good health. So, doing the work to increase wealth is a worthy goal. No qualms or questions about it.
The push, however, of an ever-updating digitally social world to prove how hard we're hustling is where we begin to lose our grip on reality and our humanity. Hustle culture curtails the positive impact it could have by shifting focus toward a mad-grab for popularity and money and away from the balance needed to sustain healthy and whole lives.
We aren't superhuman but we want to look and live like we are.
Photo: CreateHERStock
We admire people who are always moving at the speed of light and it never occurs to us that perhaps they're destined to burn out unless something changes - quickly.
We toss all of our mental energy, physical energy, skills, relationships, and hopes into a social blender, topped off by anxiety and fear to hustle ourselves into the lives we want.
The only problem is, without proper balance, we'll never reach our goals.
Hustle Culture Moves The Goalpost
When we overwork to prove ourselves and fit into culture, we erase our finish lines. Without still moments of reflection, appreciation, and celebration, we're just mindless minions, enslaved to the chase of some pot of gold that will always be just off in the distance.
Pumping the brakes to celebrate our path and process is crucial to wholeness. Yes, let's be successful but let's do it healthily. Let's respect and honor every achievement. Let's live in gratitude.
It takes discipline to eat the meat of culture and throw away its bones. It takes courage to let go of a facade, recalibrate and live life on your own terms.
So How Do We Recalibrate?
1. Respect what you were placed here for.
When you stand still and honor your truest desires, what do you really want? When that becomes clear, it makes the path toward your unique version of success clearer.
If it's true that hamster-wheeling our lives to stack money, with little forethought, planning, purpose, or balance mangles our creative, emotional, and physical health - then the opposite is true - taking the time to be mindful, counting up the cost, moving according to a personal plan/goal builds our lives to be their most impactful.
Photo: CreateHERStock
2. Drop out of the rat race.
Try a week of not running to social media to share every acknowledgement or met goal. Try spending time with yourself and your closest friends and family in the beauty of those moments of achievement. The world will clap for the length of time it takes to click 'like'. You need to define your pride in yourself and accomplishments for the rest of your life.
3. Commit to balance.
What do you need in order to feel (physically, mentally, spiritually, creatively) well and whole? Take inventory of what is causing tension in your life and make a plan to cut those strings. For some that might mean a career pivot. For others, it might mean requesting a change of work schedule. For someone else, it might mean taking up a form of exercise as an outlet. Take the time you need to figure out what you need. Not what looks good or what sounds like you've got it all figured out.
Answer the question: What do I need to live well?
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- Your #Hustle Culture Is Toxic and You Need To Stop - Ramon Creates ›
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- How America's 'Culture of Hustling' Is Dark and Empty - The Atlantic ›
Ashley is a storybuilder and storyteller who writes and produces to inform, connect, encourage and evoke. Vibe with her on Twitter/Instagram: @ashleylatruly.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images