Being broke is a mindset that La La Anthony hustled her way out of, but according to her, she didn't do it without having to burn some bridges. After booking her first hosting gig on MTV at only 19, the now 38-year-old New York Times bestselling author, businesswoman, and mother-of-one is still booked and in her bag. In a recent interview with InStyle, she revealed both the method and the motivation behind her non-stop grind.
According to La La, entering the industry at such a young age was never about acquiring fame, but it was always about generational wealth. In the interview, La La explained that when she started, she wasn't hustling for a Benz or a big house. She just didn't want to be broke.
"My mom always made it work with whatever she had to keep our family together, even when she was a single parent. That's why my goal in life was always to not be broke. It wasn't about having a career; I didn't even know what I wanted to do. But I knew what being broke felt like, and I never wanted to have that feeling again."
Almost 20 years and 10 million followers later, La La's prayer has been paid in full, but that didn't come without burning some bridges along the way. The mommy mogul told InStyle that as a recovering people-pleaser, ruffling feathers wasn't always easy, but it was necessary:
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"It took time to get to a place where outside validation wasn't important. When you're on TV, people always have something to say — and this was before Instagram and Twitter, where they just tear you apart every second of the day. Plus, I'm a people-pleaser, and I wanted everyone to like me and be my friend. I used to let people run all over me because I didn't want to ruffle any feathers, but I learned that in order to do what's best for yourself, sometimes that's necessary."
It was La La's desire to overcome her circumstances that drove her to get into the industry, but her desire to exceed her own expectations keeps her hustling. While she received backlash after her role as LaKeisha Grant on Power, she is proud to say that she is a jack of many trades and therefore a securer of many bags.
She told InStyle that despite what's said in the comment section, she will always be her own biggest supporter:
"For so long, people tried to put me in a box. I was told, 'You're an MTV VJ, you're a radio host, you're a reality-TV person — you can't do anything else.' I was adamant in proving to people that I could. I'm proud that I was able to break those barriers and show people I can be good at more than one thing."
To read La La's full interview, click here!
Featured image by Jemal Countess/Getty Images for Fashion Footwear Charitable Foundation
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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