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Zendaya On Learning To Stop People-Pleasing & Start Trusting Her Own Gut

"I don't have a road map for this shit. I learned to trust myself a lot more."

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If you've been keeping up with HBO's Euphoria, you know that Zendaya isn't a young girl "Shaking it Up" on Disney Channel anymore, she is a grown-ass woman who isn't afraid to grab life by the lemons.

So far in 2019, the star has secured a number of bags, including but not limited to her latest gig as Lancôme's new spokesperson and her ground-breaking collaboration with Tommy Hilfiger. At only 23 years old, sis has been making some major money moves but said she could only do so after learning to trust her own gut.

In a recent interview with ELLE, the actress opened up about how a desire to make everyone but herself happy eventually backfired in the worst way.

"I never want to mess up. I'm trying to be the best version of myself without overapplying pressure. Then I start spiraling."

As a recovering people-pleaser, I can totally relate to how hard it can be to say "nah," but Zendaya says that knowing the power of that word ultimately transformed her career for the better. She explained:

"I had grown up—I moved out, and it was time for me to be the sole voice in my career and make my own choices. I just had too many people I was trying to please, too many opinions, and I was constantly talked out of following my gut and my instinct. I don't have a road map for this shit—I grew up really, really fast. I learned to trust myself a lot more."

Her edgy and often explicit role on Euphoria may be vastly different from the character's she's played in the past, but according to Zendaya, Rue is the persona that she identifies with the most:

"I don't feel too dissimilar from Rue. It didn't feel fake to me; it felt like she was me in another version of my life."

Zendaya also opened up about her ongoing battle with anxiety and says although the premiere of her latest series was exciting, it also triggered her anxiety:

"Even though ‘Euphoria‘ coming out was amazing and exciting, it was also extremely stressful. It gave me a lot of anxiety every week. That's something I deal with; I have anxiety. I already know after this interview is over, I'm going to spiral about it for weeks."

Despite her inclination to be overly critical of herself, Zendaya says her role as Rue has opened her eyes to undiscovered truths about herself that she didn't know existed:

"I think Euphoria taught me a lot about myself. It made me more confident in my own abilities, because I doubted myself a lot. I was looking for something to prove I can do it. Euphoria served as that, in the healthiest way. I never want to plateau as an actress—I always want to be able to explore and push myself. [Being an actress] brings me to places and makes me do things I'd probably never do because I'm such an introverted person."

Although like the rest of us, Zendaya struggles to keep her anxiety and self-doubt in check, she's finally learned to accept her glow-up and walk in it proudly.

"I don't know. I know, I'm super hard on myself. People actually saying I did a good job at my craft...it's like, 'Damn, I did work hard. I'm glad you see that. I should finally own that; it's liberating. I feel lucky."

To read Zendaya's full interview here!

Featured image by Instagram/@Zendaya.

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