

How Artist Melissa Mitchell Manifested A Groundbreaking Deal With Spanx
Multihyphenate Melissa Mitchell is clearly defying the odds and showing no signs of slowing down as a self-taught artist, entrepreneur, and the Chief Artistic Designer of her company, Abeille Creations.
From canvases and murals, to wearable art, such as headwraps, turbans, kimono's, and more -- Melissa's work has been featured and highlighted across numerous national publications, events, media outlets, and brand partnerships including: VOGUE, ESSENCE, Forbes, Huffington Post, Nike, Sheen Magazine, Art Basel, Ford, and The Sister Circle, just to name a few. Oh, and did we mention that Oscar-winning actress Lupita Nyong'o is also a fan of her work?
As if that wasn't enough, Melissa is now embarking on one of the most exciting and major collaborations of her career with the billion-dollar brand, Spanx. The new exclusive Melissa Mitchell & Spanx® Illuminate-Her™ collection is now available nationwide and in Canada! The collection will also benefit Black Girls Code. Talk about being productive while making an impact. Her spirit and her work ethic truly embodies that of a natural queen bee.
Melissa recently spoke with xoNecole about her artistic journey, how she was able to secure the bag and a Spanx deal, what it means to own your moment and own the room, and why it's important to trust God's timing and the gifts that He has given you.
xoNecole: How have you found purpose through your paintbrush?
Melissa Mitchell: Both of my parents were pastors and quite naturally they wanted me to follow in their footsteps. But I had to find God for myself. So, I traded the pulpit for the paintbrush, and my paintings became my prayers on canvas.
Now, I use my art to share my purpose. Art has become my platform, and it's allowed me to have a voice to my purpose and empower people. Because I'm so vocal about my story and what God is doing, people want part of that testimony [her art] in their house every day.
Instagram/Spanx
"I had to find God for myself. So, I traded the pulpit for the paintbrush, and my paintings became my prayers on canvas."
Your art is comprised of “vibrant colors, unique shapes, and bold dark lines.” Where does that inspiration come from?
Besides my Bahamian heritage, I always found a way to bring color into the picture as a way to express myself, as well as to heal because colors have healing power. Art was like my medicine. Around 2014, when I started painting, I wasn't feeling bright and bubbly and full of life. My father had passed away only a few years prior to when I started painting.
Not to mention, I was dealing with normal life frustrations and the societal pressures that many women face in their early thirties because I didn't have, nor was I doing, what I thought I was supposed to have by a certain age (e.g., success, marriage, kids, etc.). Nonetheless, my art helped heal my mindset. I pressed my way through all of that – the grief, the frustration, the worry – and I told myself, "I'm good."
What’s the story behind your headwraps and why are they so important to you, especially as a Black woman?
I started wearing headwraps in college because I enjoyed wearing something that allowed me to hold my head up high with a lot of confidence. Initially, I would use random shirts and random fabrics as my wraps, but I figured if I'm going to wrap my hair, then I might as well wrap it up in some art that represents my brand with the intent of possibly making money.
Four years ago, I specifically wrote that "one day, I will sit in boardrooms with headwraps on." When I walked in the Spanx conference room wearing my headwrap, I owned the room. Everyone said, "You look like a queen," and I said, "Oh, that was deliberate."
And so they called me "Queen" because when you come into the room with confidence and knowing who you are, people will begin to call you that without you even having to introduce yourself.
"When you come into the room with confidence and knowing who you are, people will begin to call you that without you even having to introduce yourself."
Tell us how this partnership came about, and how a last-minute decision led to this moment.
In 2018, I heard about the Illuminate-Her contest with Spanx. My mentor at the time, Kevin Williams, was looking for some people to sit in for a portrait that was being created. When asked what I was working on, I mentioned that I was waiting on my next big, global deal. When he asked me what I planned to do about it, I told him about the Illuminate-Her contest, and how people kept encouraging me to apply. However, I figured my work was too bright and I didn't think I'd be ideal for it, but he told me, "Well, you never know until you apply."
So, I went home that night -- the last day the applications were due. I stood in my kitchen and I prayed. I had one painting in my kitchen, one in my living room, and one in my bedroom. I took pictures of each of them, and those were the ones I submitted. The painting from my kitchen was the one that ended up being selected as the winner, which is what you now see on the new collection. And now, here we are.
What did this opportunity teach you as it relates to timing?
It's interesting because the winning design that was chosen was actually a painting I did back in 2015. I tried to sell it at four different shows, but when it didn't sell, I just kept bringing it home, and eventually I made it a part of my home décor. Clearly, God did not allow that painting to sell because it was going to be sold around the world; not just here in the Atlanta market.
It was a teachable moment for me because so often we ask, "When is it going to be my time," or "When is God going to call my name?" But it only took one opportunity to catapult my career to unimaginable heights. It reminded me that God's timing is ideal, and He can make up for all the time you thought you lost.
Nevertheless, it definitely wasn't an overnight success. What you see now is the success that I had been praying for…things that have been on my vision board for the past 15 years. In order to manifest things in your life, you have to have a whole lot of faith and a whole lot of patience. As my spirituality grew, my work grew, and as my work grew, it got the right attention of the right people.
The debut of the Melissa Mitchell and Spanx Illuminate-Her collection.
Melissa Mitchell/Instagram
"What you see now is the success that I had been praying for…things that have been on my vision board for the past 15 years. In order to manifest things in your life, you have to have a whole lot of faith and a whole lot of patience."
So, tell us about your new exclusive collection.
The Melissa Mitchell and Spanx Illuminate-Her collection includes the Bra-llelujah!® Illuminate-Her™ Bralette (also known as "Colorful Harmony")…but it's not your traditional bra. It's more like a comfortable sports bra that you want to wear every day. I've been wearing it for the past two weeks, and it makes you feel like a woman, yet young and vibrant, all at the same time. It's great for the younger lady who's training, as well as the seasoned woman who's trying to get her groove back. The collection also includes a matching Under Statements® Thong lluminate-Her™ Thong.
What was it like for you sitting in the Spanx boardrooms discussing your designs?
Honestly, it felt like home. It felt like I belonged there. It was a moment I had been preparing for. I felt like it was where I was supposed to be, and what God had called me to do. Similar to the feeling you have when you find the perfect dress or the love of your life…it's a feeling you can't describe. You just know.
For an artist who may be considering a lucrative deal or partnership, what is important for them to consider (aside from the money)?
As an artist, you have to be keenly aware of who you sell your art to. You have to control your narrative and your story. You have to think about the brands and the value they can bring to you.
When it comes to business, what is something you wish someone had told you?
Be okay with delegating. As business owners, everything is our baby and we want to touch everything and do everything. However, I had to learn how to let go of some of the small tasks and let people help me be great. The power of a team is much more powerful than you burning yourself out trying to do it all alone. There's no award for running yourself ragged, so let people help you.
What would you say has been your biggest lesson so far?
We think we're supposed to win everything we try, but anything I missed wasn't for me. That's why I'm not afraid to say or hear the word "no." Some "no's" are protective barriers, and sometimes, your "no" season is your preparation time. You have to be just as grateful for the closed doors as you are for the opened doors.
"We think we're supposed to win everything we try, but anything I missed wasn't for me. That's why I'm not afraid to say or hear the word 'no.' Some 'no's' are protective barriers, and sometimes, your 'no' season is your preparation time."
For other fellow artists and businesswomen, what would you say to encourage and empower them along their journey?
A lot of people don't trust their gifts, and instead, they worry about who's doing what to the left and right of them. Be confident in your art and expression, and trust the language God has given you. Trust your gifts, and trust what God gave you.
Don't get discouraged about what seems like an oversaturated market. There's still space for you to do your thing, but you may have to add your own special twist to it. Even though there may be a million artists out there, now there's a million plus one because I'm here!
You can check out the new Melissa Mitchell & Spanx Illuminate-Her™ collection. Keep up with Melissa's Abeille Creations on Instagram by clicking here.
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Shonda Brown White is a bestselling author, blogger, life coach, and brand strategist. When she's not jumping out of a plane or zip lining, she's living the married life with her husband in Atlanta, GA. Connect with her on social @ShondaBWhite and her empowering real talk on her blog.
Amber Riley has the type of laugh that sticks with you long after the raspy, rhythmic sounds have ceased. It punctuates her sentences sometimes, whether she’s giving a chuckle to denote the serious nature of something she just said or throwing her head back in rip-roarious laughter after a joke. She laughs as if she understands the fragility of each minute. She chooses laughter often with the understanding that future joy is not guaranteed.
Credit: Ally Green
The sound of her laughter is rivaled only by her singing voice, an emblem of the past and the future resilience of Black women stretched over a few octaves. On Fox’s Glee, her character Mercedes Jones was portrayed, perhaps unfairly, as the vocal duel to Rachel Berry (Lea Michele), offering rough, full-throated belts behind her co-star’s smooth, pristine vocals. Riley’s always been more than the singer who could deliver a finishing note, though.
Portraying Effie White, she displayed the dynamic emotions of a song such as “And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going” in Dreamgirls on London’s West End without buckling under the historic weight of her predecessors. With her instrument, John Mayer’s “Gravity” became a religious experience, a belted hymnal full of growls and churchy riffs. In her voice, Nicole Scherzinger once said she heard “the power of God.”
Credit: Ally Green
Riley’s voice has been a staple throughout pop culture for nearly 15 years now. Her tone has become so distinguishable that most viewers of Fox’s The Masked Singer recognized the multihyphenate even before it was revealed that she was Harp, the competition-winning, gold-masked figure with an actual harp strapped to her back.
Still, it wasn’t until recently that Riley began to feel like she’d found her voice. This sounds unbelievable. But she’s not referring to the one she uses on stage. She’s referencing the voice that speaks to who she is at her core. “Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind,” the 37-year-old says. “It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women. I got so comfortable in [doing so], and I really want other people, especially Black women, to get more comfortable in that space.”
“Therapy kind of gave me the training to speak my mind. It’s not something we’re taught, especially as Black women."
If you ask Riley’s manager, Myisha Brooks, she’ll tell you the foundation of who the multihyphenate is hasn’t changed much since she was a kid growing up in Compton. “She is who she is from when I met her back when she was singing in the front of the church to back when she landed major roles in film and TV,” Brooks says. Time has allowed Riley to grow more comfortable, giving fans a more intimate glimpse into her life, including her mental health journey and the ins and outs of show business.
The actress/singer has been in therapy since 2019, although she suffered from depression and anxiety way before that. In a recent interview with Jason Lee, she recalls having suicidal ideation as a kid. By the time she started seeing a psychologist and taking antidepressants in her thirties, her body had become jittery, a physical reminder of the trauma stacked high inside her. “I was shaking in [my therapist’s] office,” she tells xoNecole. “My fight or flight was on such a high level. I was constantly in survival mode. My heart was beating fast all the time. All I did was sweat.”
There wasn’t just childhood trauma to account for. After auditioning for American Idol and being turned away by producers, Riley began working for Ikea and nearly missed her Glee audition because her car broke down on the highway while en route. Thankfully, Riley had been cast to play Mercedes Jones. American Idol had temporarily convinced her she wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry, but this was validation that she was right where she belonged. Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break.
In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character "to have a voice" but eventually realized her efforts were useless. "It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I'm not who they're choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now," she says. "And, that's okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I'm doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I'm seeing right now on screen."
The actress can recognize now that she was navigating issues associated with trauma and low self-esteem at the time. She now knows that she's long had anxiety and depression and can recognize the ways in which she was triggered by how the cult-like following of the show conflicted with her individual, isolated experiences behind the scenes. But she was in her early '20s back then. She didn't yet have the language or the tools to process how she was feeling.
Riley says she eventually sought out medical intervention. "When you're in Hollywood, and you go to a doctor, they give you pills," she says, sharing a part of her story that she'd never revealed publicly before now. "[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that's not fixing my problem. If anything, it's making it worse."
“[I was] on medication and developing a habit of medicating to numb, not understanding I was developing an addiction to something that’s not fixing my problem. If anything it’s making it worse.”
Credit: Ally Green
At one point, while in her dressing room on set, she rested her arm on a curling iron without realizing it. It wasn't until her makeup artist alerted her that she even realized her skin was burning. Once she noticed, she says she was "so zonked out on pills" that she barely reacted. Speaking today, she holds up her arm and motions towards a scar that remains from the incident. She sought help for her reliance on the pills, but it would still be years before she finally attended therapy.
This stress was only compounded by the trauma of growing up in poverty and the realities of being a "contract worker." "Imagine going from literally one week having to borrow a car to get to set to the next week being on a private jet to New York City," she says. After Glee ended, so did the rides on private planes. The fury of opportunities she expected to follow her appearance on the show failed to materialize. She wasn't even 30 yet, and she was already forced to consider if she'd hit her career peak.
. . .
We’re only four minutes into our Zoom call before Riley delivers her new adage to me. “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says.
On this Thursday afternoon in April, the LA-based entertainer is seated inside her closet/dressing room wearing a cerulean blue tank top with matching shorts and eating hot wings. This current phase of healing hinges on balance. It’s about having discipline and consistency, but not at the risk of inflexibility. She was planning to head to the gym, for instance, but she’s still tired from the “exhausting” day before. Instead, she’s spent her day receiving a massage, eating some chicken wings, and planning to spend quality time with friends. “I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I’m not going to talk down to myself. I’m going to eat my chicken wings, and then tomorrow I’m [back] in the gym,” she says.
“My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway."
This is the balance with which she's been approaching much of her life these days. It's why she's worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She'd rather be respected. "I think you should be a person that's easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I'm not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don't have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life – in whatever aspect, whether that's personal or business – people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it," she says.
When Amber talks about the constant humbling of Black women in Hollywood, I think of the entertainers before her who have suffered from this. The brilliant, consistent, overqualified Black women who have spoken of having to fight for opportunities and fair pay. Aretha Franklin. Viola Davis. Tracee Ellis Ross. There's a long list of stars whose success hasn't mirrored their experiences behind the scenes.
Credit: Ally Green
If Black women outside of Hollywood are struggling to decrease the pay gap, so, too, are their wealthier, more famous peers.
Riley says there’s been progress in recent years, but only in small ways and for a limited group of people. “This business is exhausting. The goalpost is constantly moving, and sometimes it’s unfair,” she says. But, I have to say it’s the love that keeps you going.”
“There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman,” she continues. “We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
"There’s no way you can continue to be in this business and not love it, especially being a plus-sized Black woman. We’re still niche. We’re still not main characters.”
Last year, Riley starred alongside Raven Goodwin in the Lifetime thriller Single Black Female (a modern, diversified take on 1992’s Single White Female). It was more than a leading role for the actress, it also served as proof that someone who looks like her can front a successful project without it hinging on her identity. It showcased that the characters she portrays don’t “have to be about being a big girl. It can just be a regular story.”
Riley sees her work in music as an extension of her efforts to push past the rigid stereotypes in entertainment. Take her appearance on The Masked Singer, for instance. Riley said she decided to perform Mayer’s “Gravity” after being told she couldn’t sing it years earlier. “I wanted to do ‘Gravity’ on Glee. [I] was told no, because that’s not a song that Mercedes would do,” she says. “That was a full circle moment for me, doing that on that show and to hear what it is they had to say.”
As Scherzinger praised the “anointed” performance, a masked Riley began to cry, her chest heaving as she stood on stage, her eyes shielded from view. “You have to understand, I have really big names – casting directors, producers, show creators – that constantly tell me ‘I’m such a big fan. Your talent is unmatched.’ Hire me, then,” she says, reflecting on the moment.
Recently, she’s been in the studio working on original music, the follow-up to her independently-released debut EP, 2020’s Riley. The sequel to songs such as the anthemic “Big Girl Energy” and the reflective ballad “A Moment” on Riley, this new project hones in on the singer’s R&B roots with sensual grooves such as the tentatively titled “All Night.” “You said I wasn’t shit, turns out that I’m the shit. Then you called me a bitch, turns out that I’m that bitch. You said no one would want me, well you should call your homies,” she sings on the tentatively titled “Lately,” a cut about reflecting on a past relationship. From the forthcoming project, xoNecole received five potential tracks. Fans likely already know the strengths and contours of Riley’s vocals, but these new songs are her strongest, most confident offerings as an artist.
“I am so much more comfortable as a writer, and I know who I am as an artist now. I’m evolving as a human being, in general, so I’m way more vulnerable in my music. I’m way more willing to talk about whatever is on my mind. I don’t stop myself from saying what it is I want to say,” she says.
Credit: Ally Green
“Every era and alliteration of Amber, the baseline is ‘Big Girl Energy.’ That’s the name of her company,” her manager Brooks says, referencing the imprint through which Riley releases her music after getting out of a label deal several years ago. “It’s just what she stands for. She’s not just talking about size, it’s in all things. Whether it’s putting your big girl pants on and having to face a boardroom full of executives or sell yourself in front of a casting agent. It’s her trying to achieve the things she wants to do in life.”
Riley says she has big dreams beyond releasing this new music, too. She’d love to star in a rom-com with Winston Duke. She hasn't starred in a biopic yet, but she’d revel in the opportunity to portray Rosetta Tharpe on screen. She’s determined that her previous setbacks won’t stop her from dreaming big.
“I think one of my superpowers is resilience because, at the end of the day, I’m going to kick, scream, cry, cuss, be mad and disappointed, but I’m going to get up and risk having to deal with it all again. It’s worth it for the happy moments,” she says.
If Riley seems more comfortable and confident professionally, it’s because of the work she’s been doing in her personal life.
She’d previously spoken to xoNecole about becoming engaged to a man she discovered in a post on the site, but she called things off last year. For Valentine’s Day, she revealed her new boyfriend publicly. “I decided to post him on Valentine’s Day, partially because I was in the dog house. I got in trouble with him,” she says, half-joking before turning serious. “The breakup was never going to stop me from finding love. Or at least trying. I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness, and you enjoy it and work through it.”
Credit: Ally Green
"I don’t owe anybody a happily ever after. People break up. It happens. When it was good, it was good. When it was bad, it was terrible, hunny. I had to get the fuck up out of there. You find happiness and you enjoy it and work through it.”
With her ex, Riley was pretty outspoken about her relationship, even appearing in content for Netflix with him. This time around is different. She’s not hiding her boyfriend of eight months, but she’s more protective of him, especially because he’s a father and isn’t interested in becoming a public figure.
She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.”
After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
Credits
Director of Content: Jasmine Grant
Campaign Manager: Chantal Gainous
Managing Editor: Sheriden Garrett
Creative Director/Executive Producer: Tracey Woods
Cover Designer: Tierra Taylor
Photographer: Ally Green
Photo Assistant: Avery Mulally
Digital Tech: Kim Tran
Video by Third and Sunset
DP & Editor: Sam Akinyele
2nd Camera: Skylar Smith
Camera Assistant: Charles Belcher
Stylist: Casey Billingsley
Hairstylist: DaVonte Blanton
Makeup Artist: Drini Marie
Production Assistants: Gade De Santana, Apu Gomes
Powered by: European Wax Center
We’ve all been there at least once (or a few times) along our dating journey. Maybe you’ve had a date or two with a potential suitor, but the spark just wasn’t there. Perhaps you convinced yourself that just “one more” date would help you overlook a non-negotiable ick. At this point in the dating cycle, you’ve probably reached the point where you must decide to either communicate “why” things won’t be moving forward or simply ghost them.
What Is Ghosting?
“Ghosting” refers to the act of suddenly and unexpectedly cutting off all communication with someone you've been dating or talking to without any explanation or further contact. It typically occurs in the early stages of dating but can also happen after a few dates or even in more established relationships.
The act of ghosting has become quite a common practice in our modern dating culture and can manifest in a number of different ways. From days of ignored text messages and phone calls out of the blue to not showing up for pre-arranged plans and sometimes disappearing from someone's life without any notice or explanation.
Morsa Images/Getty Images
The Problem With Ghosting
Being ghosted may seem like a harmless act of “self-choosing,” but the person on the receiving end of your decision can be left feeling confused, rejected, and even abandoned, wondering what happened and where they went wrong.
And we get it, what explanation do you owe someone for leaving after a few cocktails and a $100 date? While that may seem like the perfect opportunity to cut and run, taking an alternative approach to fizzle out a fling is a great time to practice clear and effective communication that can pay off in the long run.
While there is a time and a place for ghosting (and even blocking) if your boundaries have been crossed or safety has been threatened, if we’re looking to live out our best healed, secure-girl summer, there are ways to date freely without leaving others with damage of their own to recover from.
Being honest and upfront about your feelings while being respectful of the other person's time is the best way to leave a situationship or fling with both parties emotionally unscathed. So if you’re looking for ways to break things off with care and consideration, we’ve provided five text scripts to send instead of ghosting somebody’s son:
Morsa Images/Getty Images
5 Texts To Send Instead of Ghosting Them
1. If you want to take the honest but gentle approach:
"Hey [Name], I've really enjoyed getting to know you, but I've been doing some thinking, and I don't see this going any further. I wanted to be upfront and honest with you rather than leaving you wondering. I wish you all the best."
2. If you want to express gratitude before saying goodbye:
"Hi [Name], I wanted to reach out and say thank you for the time we spent together. You're an amazing person, but I think we're better off as friends. I hope you understand and that we can still maintain a positive connection."
3. If you want to leave a note of appreciation:
"Hi [Name], I wanted to let you know that I've had a great time with you, but I don't think we're compatible for a romantic relationship. I appreciate the moments we shared, and I hope we can both find what we're looking for."
4. If a face-to-face convo is needed:
"Hey [Name], I've been doing some thinking, and I believe it's important for us to have an open conversation about where we stand. Can we find some time to talk about our relationship and how we both feel? I think it's important to address things honestly."
5. If you want to keep things cute and concise:
"Hey [Name], I've realized that we're not on the same page, and it's best if we part ways. Take care."
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Featured image by Morsa Images/Getty Images