

Mr. Right. While I have absolutely no idea who originated that term, I was surprised to see that it was actually listed in the dictionary. For the most part, the general consensus is it means "a man who is viewed as an ideal romantic partner or potential spouse". Eh. I guess, for the most part, that will do. Well, let me step back a bit. While I do think the definition is fitting overall, it's actually the word "ideal" that trips me up a bit. I don't know about y'all, but on my quest to get to my own so-called Mr. Right, something that I've had to unlearn-to-relearn is sometimes what I consider to be ideal—like basing "rightness" solely on a man's looks, always falling for my type or putting sexual satisfaction over overall fulfillment—hasn't been very ideal (a standard of excellence) at all.
Praise the Lord that I am in a very different type of head and heart space now. I get the areas where I was oh so wrong about Mr. Right and, so that you won't have to go through some of the bumps and bruises that I've experienced, I wanted to share a bit of a "cheat sheet" to help you to figure out what your own Mr. Right should actually look and live like. As life would have it, all of these are based on definitions and synonyms of the word "right". You ready?
Right: in accordance with what is good
When it comes to this specific definition of the word "right", I personally think that it is an excellent place to start. I say that because, one of the biggest mistakes that a lot of us make when even considering who is a viable Mr. Right contender, is we don't stop and ask ourselves if someone is truly good for us (check out "Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?"). While there are a lot of definitions for good, the one that I really want to hone in on today is if someone is truly going to benefit us. This is important because, when something or someone is beneficial, it means that they are capable of being good to us and being of service to us, all the while helping us to improve (become a better person). While you might not be able to figure that out in the first couple of dates (and that's totally understandable), by date three, you should definitely feel comfortable enough to ask the hard—and by hard, I mean beneath the surface—questions. What are his values? What are his goals? Does he even want a long-term relationship (because if you do and he doesn't, what are y'all doing)? And if he does, why?
Something else that's really cool about this particular definition of right is the word "accordance" which means "agreement". God saw fit to create us with a mind, body and spirit (soul). I call it the human trinity. When trying to decide if someone is truly right for you, take time to ask yourself if your entire being is in agreement that this man is going to be good for you. If some part of you objects, figure out why because there is definitely something to it.
Right: in conformity with fact, reason, truth, or some standard or principle
Some of y'all ain't gonna like this one very much, so let me just say "sorry not sorry" in advance. Back when I was in a cyclic pattern of dating the same kinds of men, something that I had a big problem with was seeing what I wanted to see while ignoring the facts and truths of how those men were and what we were really doing. I think I've shared before that my third baby's daddy (check out "Why I Named The Children I Aborted" for context) was someone I was good friends with. The sex was also cool and, for the most part, there wasn't any drama. But after about a year in, he pulled my "truth card" when I said that I felt like he was taking me for granted (on the romantic tip) and his response was, "Shellie, you said from the beginning that you just wanted to be friends who had sex. You never gave me the chance to see you as a girlfriend. Don't blame me for holding up our end of the deal, just because your feelings have changed." Ouch. And yes.
You're not going to know if a man is truly right for you if you're not willing to base your decision on facts, reason and truth. Not your emotions. Not the chick flick that you've somehow conjured up in your head. Not all of the theories that your girlfriends (and aunties) have come up with. Get real. Get logical. Pay attention to the actual reality of what's going on—and what isn't going on. Then decide what your next move is, based on that. A lot of women have wasted precious time, effort and energy, by acting like a man did something wrong to them when the TRUTH is that they didn't want to deal with the FACTS. Please don't be one of them (or one of them anymore).
Right: Honest
Now let's get into some synonyms for the word "right" that I personally believe should apply in our quest for confirming who Mr. Right is in our lives. Honest is one of those words yet here's the interesting thing about it—a lot of people only associate it with telling the truth.
While you should want a man who is going to do that, think higher. When someone is honest, they are "honorable in principles, intentions, and actions". To be honorable is to be upright and credible. When a man is right for you, he is going to be upright and credible (which speaks to the consistency of his character) as it relates to his principles, his intentions and his actions. Not one of these things. ALL THREE.
Another cool definition of honest is "fair". Fair leans towards being objective. He is more interested in both of you seeing each other's perspectives and finding common ground than him being right all of the time. Two other definitions that I think are worth noting are frank and genuine. He isn't cryptic nor does he deflect. He also isn't fake. What you see is what you get, so there's no need to look for things that aren't there (some of y'all will catch that later). And still, another dope definition is "having a good reputation". Have mercy.
Be honest. When it comes to the men that you've dated in the past, have you put forth the concerted effort to see what his reputation is? Is he respected at work? Does he have a healthy set of friends? What does his family have to say about him? What has he shared were his own missteps in his past relationships? So many things can be avoided, if we simply take a man's reputation into account. Even the Bible says, "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold." (Proverbs 22:1—NKJV) A guy isn't going to be right for you if he's out here not being right to those around him. Always factor in his reputation. It can be a real life—and heart—saver, if you do.
Right: Suitable
Anyone who's been rocking with my byline on here for a while now knows that I love to attach Scripture where it applies. Well, when you look at the first documented intimate relationship between a man and a woman in the Bible, the word "suitable" is mentioned. Genesis 2:18(AMPC) states, "Now the Lord God said, 'It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.'" A man who is right for you is a man who is going to be suitable for you. A dope definition of suitable is becoming. A dope definition of becoming is appropriate. A dope definition of appropriate is "set apart for a specific purpose".
If nothing else sinks in from this read, please let this synonym of right dig into the very depths of your soul. The man who is really and truly right for you? He is going to be set apart for the specific purpose of loving you, cherishing you and adoring you. You won't have to worry about competing with other women. You won't have to be concerned with trying to "switch up" to make him like/love you more. And, most importantly, your own life's purpose/calling/work will not have to be compromised for the sake of maintaining the relationship. Since he's the right one, he has been customized to suit your life and your purpose. Period.
That doesn't mean he or the relationship will be perfect (no one, not even you, are perfect). What it will mean though is, unlike the past relationships where you had to work harder than you ever should have? This one won't require that kind of strenuous effort. Amen? AMEN.
Right: Justifiable
Hmph. I remember once being so into a guy that I really couldn't see straight. I was so engrossed in him that, no matter what questions my loved ones had for me, ones that should've encouraged me to totally pump my brakes, I absolutely wasn't trying to hear it. Listen, the people who really and truly care about you, they have lives of their own. What I mean by that is, their world isn't going to come to a crashing end, just because you got your heart broken or you found yourself in a stupid relationship. So, when they make the time to invest into your life and ask you to consider if some things about a guy might be red flags, you should take that to heart. Hear me when I say that I personally learned this the hard way.
That said, when a man is right for you, you won't have to sneak around. You won't have to be vague AF. You won't have to make excuses for him and/or why you are tolerating (or is it enduring?) all of his BS. The right man will be justifiable in the absolute best way possible because he will be the core meaning of the word—"to defend or uphold as warranted or well-grounded". Did you peep the "well-grounded" part? Yeah. Me too.
Right: Deserved
This synonym right here has me excited like a mug! Have you ever stopped to consider the fact that, if a man is right for you, he will be "qualified for a reward because of his actions and qualities"? Now here's something to keep in mind about the word "reward". It's not like receiving a simple gift or prize. A reward is "something given or received in return or recompense for service, merit, hardship, etc." A reward is what someone receives after service and sometimes even hardship transpires. While I'm definitely not encouraging you to "test your man" (how would you feel if he did that to you? Ugh), what I am saying is the right guy will be able to stick some things out with you. Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Before that even happens, the right guy will be able to do what it takes to get you to trust him enough to know that he will be able to stick some things out with you (eh hem, as you do the same thing for him, please).
Last year, when I did a story that featured different Black female-owned T-shirt lines, one of the ones that I featured has a shirt that sums up this particular point perfectly. Tees in the Trap offers up a tee that simply says "Earn Me". Again, it's not about game-playing (playing hard to get is a game, by the way) or coming up with ways for a man to have to constantly prove his own worth and value to you. At the same time, what "earning you" is about, is having standards and then giving a man the space to see if he will rise up to them—or not. Because for someone to be Mr. Right, he needs to be deserving of you. And that takes time to discover.
Right: Due
Last one. While this, too, may ruffle a few feathers, this really is a great place to end this piece. Most times, when people ask me how I feel about being in my mid-40s and never married, the first thing I say is, "I'd rather be never married than on my third divorce" (because I know some people who fall right into that category). Then I follow that up with, "God doesn't owe me a husband." And He doesn't.
Matter of fact, the more I get into the space that the One who gave me life doesn't OWE me anything, that everything is a blessing, it helps to calm my spirit and accept that the right thing—including the right man—comes at the right time. I am not the only one who can determine that. God and my customized Mr. Right both play their own role and I'm perfectly OK with that…finally.
This is where the word "due" comes in. When something (or someone) is due, one of my absolute favorite definitions is, it/he "naturally belongs to someone". Every time I read that, it's like an "exhale" comes over my entire being. The right man for me, the right man for you—he will naturally belong. Timing plays a huge part in that.
Most of us are super grown at this point. This probably means that you've gotten it wrong about who your Mr. Right is, perhaps, more than once. But you survived, you're still here and your heart is still open—correct? Mr. Right is possible so long as you're being literal about "right" and what it entails. Here's to you finding your Mr. Right in the truest sense—and meanings—of the word. To never getting this area of your life wrong. Ever again.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Exclusive: Miss Keri, Baby Is Back & It's A Comeback Worth The Wait
It’s officially Miss Keri, Baby season again—and if you ask us, it’s been a long time coming. After 15 years away from the music scene, Keri Hilson has returned not only with a brand-new album but also a captivating new role in Lifetime’s Fame—the latest installment in The Temptations film franchise.
Between the album We Need to Talk: Love and her leading role in Fame, this isn’t just a comeback—it’s a rebirth. The Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter turned actress is letting us into her world like never before, unpacking themes of vulnerability, healing, and inner strength with grace, grit, and raw artistry.
Now streaming on Lifetime, Fame follows two superstar sisters—played by Keri and singer/actress Keshia Chanté—as they navigate the cost of stardom, sibling rivalry, and the dark side of desire. The film also stars Romeo Miller, Ecstasia Sanders, Nathan Witte, and Sophie Carriere, and is executive produced by Derrick Williams and Adriane Hopper Williams of the Seven Deadly Sins franchise.
As for the music? We Need to Talk: Love is a three-part album (Love, Drama, Redemption) that tells the story of a woman who’s been through it—and has risen from the ashes. “It was time to speak for myself,” Keri says.
We sat down with Keri to talk about her return to music, her passion for acting, the emotional depth of Fame, and how she’s learning to care for herself amidst the chaos.
From R&B Queen to Drama Star: Keri Gets Into Character
“Even though she’s famous—as am I—it was really her humanity that I wanted to portray.”
Keri plays Cherish, one half of a superstar sibling duo who must confront their fractured relationship in the wake of a traumatic robbery. For Keri, the role was more than a character—it was a psychological study.
“I enjoy departures from reality. That’s why I love acting,” she shares. “Psychology is one of my favorite things in life. I became a writer because I’m an observer of human nature, emotion, and behavior. I think I did a good job showing her humanity.”
The Fame Isn’t Always Worth the Price
“Keep the main thing the main thing.”
Keri doesn’t sugarcoat the industry. When asked about what Fame reveals about the dark side of celebrity culture, her answer is clear:
“It’s a cautionary tale. It reminds you to keep your family close and not allow anything to come between them—especially in pursuit of success. Keep the main thing the main thing. For me, that’s family, love, spirituality, and values.”
Three Chapters, One Story: Love. Drama. Redemption.
“I’ve shed the fear. It was time to tell my own story.”
Released April 18th, We Need to Talk: Love is Keri’s first album in 15 years—and a deeply personal one at that. The three-part project (Love, Drama, Redemption) represents a timeline of healing and growth.
“I’m finally in a place where I’m able and willing to open up more,” she says. “For a while, I became really guarded—shell-shocked, even—after making mistakes in the public eye. Whether it’s all your fault or not, the scrutiny takes its toll. But now, I’ve shed that fear. It’s time to tell my story.”
Cooking, Walks, and Recalibrating in the Chaos
“I’m not doing the best job—but I’m doing what I can.”
Between eight-hour rehearsals, press runs, and music releases, Hilson admits she hasn’t quite figured out the balance yet—but she’s trying. For her, the key is carving out small rituals of normalcy.
“I enjoy cooking. That’s my sanctity,” she says. “I’ll go home, take my makeup off, put on my rehearsal clothes, and cook a meal. I take walks. I run. These little things help me feel like myself again.”
Art Imitates Life (and Album Tracklists)
“Cherish goes from Love… to Drama… to Redemption.”
Asked which album chapter her Fame character would fall into, Keri doesn’t hesitate. “She fits into all three,” she says. “You see her go from love, to drama, to redemption. That arc mirrors the journey of so many women who’ve had to navigate pain and find their way back to themselves.”
No Pressure, Just Art: Keri Wants You to Feel Something
“Just enjoy the art. That’s it.”
After all the time, patience, and healing, Keri isn’t asking for much. She just wants fans to press play—and feel something.
“I just want people to enjoy what they’re seeing and hearing. Enjoy me on screen. Enjoy me through their ears. People have waited, and I feel blessed by that. That helps me keep it all pure and simple.”
As Keri Hilson steps boldly back into the spotlight, it’s clear this era is all about alignment, artistry, and authenticity. With Fame airing on Lifetime and the first chapter of We Need to Talk: Love setting the tone, we’re more than excited to see what’s next.
As she continues to unfold the album’s next two chapters—Drama and Redemption—one thing’s for sure: this isn’t just a comeback. It’s a reintroduction. And we’ll be watching, listening, and cheering her on every step of the way.
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