Don't Mistake A Great Sex Partner For A Great Life Partner
When I turned 45 this past summer, I wrote an article about what I would've told my 25-year-old self. While I did touch on a few relationship points, I think, in hindsight, that the reason why I left this one out, is because it really does deserve a write-up of its own. The reason why I say that is because, when I look back on some of the greatest sex that also turned out to be some of the most profound faux pas that I've ever experienced in my entire life, it was because of the title of this piece right here.
If there is one thing that I admire about people who wait until marriage before doin'-the-do, it's the fact that they made a formal long-term commitment before givin' it up; on their wedding night, they don't have to wonder if the feelings are real or if the person they just had sex with will be there the next morning…or even 20 years later (God willing). When it comes to all of the intensity and closeness that transpires, there's no need to try and figure out what part is physical and what part is emotional—what part they need to question and what part they can fully trust in. It doesn't matter. The love is there, the connection is solidified—great sex and a great life partner (again, God willing) are able to go hand-in-hand.
But what if you see sex differently from those who choose to wait until their "I dos"? Is there some sort of automatic way to keep from confusing good sex with a great relationship? I'm not sure if there is a ton of scientific data on that, but girrrrl—what I can share with you is a few things that life certainly taught me on this particular topic.
Ponder What Draws You to Him Outside of His Performance
My first sex partner was my first love. We were both young and didn't have a clue what we were doing. Plus, due to his immaturity, it took him a while to "sign on" to certain activities (kindly refer to "What?! Only 35 Percent Of Men Go Down? Say It Ain't So" to get what I'm talking about). I think that's why my second sex partner was able to get—and get away with—so much. Y'all, when I say that man was f-i-n-e. All tall, chocolate and freaky too. Although in some ways, we were homies, if you were to ask me what his greatest personality or character traits were, I'd have to sit on that. He was witty, I'll give him that; still, it's not like I was mentally or emotionally altered for the best by his influence or anything.
That doesn't mean that I didn't think that I was at the time. Shoot, any man you lust who is more than willing to do stuff to you that your first love wouldn't (until years later) is someone who tends to give you all of the feels; feels that make you think there is something real. But trust me, if you can't really think of too many redeeming qualities other than how he puts it down, that is your first red flag that there might not be much there other than orgasmic aftershocks masking themselves as genuine emotional attachment.
Remember Intimacy and Attraction Aren’t Synonymous
If you take out a moment to at least skim the article "The Signs Of A Truly Intimate Relationship", you'll notice that sex isn't mentioned once. Affection is, but you can be affectionate with someone without any type of sexual activity transpiring. The reason why this is worth noting is because some people make the grave mistake of thinking that just because someone gives their stomach butterflies that it's automatically the beginning stages of intimacy. Nope. Just about every time that I see Kofi Siriboe in a pastel hue or Thomas Q. Jones in just about anything, my heart skips a beat. But I don't know them from Adam and they don't know me either.
Being attracted to someone simply means that they have some sort of quality that entices or allures. Intimacy? For real intimacy to happen, not only does it take time to cultivate, it has to go way beyond the physical. If the guy you're Jonesing for isn't someone you can share some of your deepest secrets with, if he doesn't nurture and cherish you and/or if you aren't able to say that you two have a strong friendship and spiritual bond—and get this, he is able to say that he sees you the same way—sure, the attraction may be strong…but that also might be all that is drawing the two of you together too.
Don’t Go into Sex with Lots of Assumptions
KevOnStage has a relatively new segment called "Dear Kev" that is comedy. He sits in one of his church suits, puts on a pair of glasses (even though he doesn't need them), reads questions and gives some of the worst TMI advice around. Oh, but as they say, a clock is right twice a day. In one of his latest offerings, Kev said, "When you see things through rose-colored glasses, red flags simply look like flags." Whew. Somebody sign up for that man's Patreon on that!
I can't tell you how many women have told me how upset they are because a guy they were having sex with "led them on" by making them think that they wanted a future with them. When I ask them what the man did to cause them to think that way, very rarely do they bring up him saying "I love you", him showing her off to his family and friends or him even really taking her out or talking about the future. Usually what I get is a blank stare followed by, "I mean, we've been having sex for months now." Then it's my turn to give them a blank stare.
When I once asked a male friend how so many men can have sex with women who they care absolutely nothing about, he simply said, "Do you think it's emotional for me to go and jack off in the shower? Jack off in a shower, jack off in a girl. One simply feels better but honestly, isn't always worth the headache."
That might've been hard to read, but that doesn't make it any less true. For better or for worse, a lot of men can clearly tell the difference between someone who they thoroughly enjoy having sex with vs. someone who they want to have a relationship with. Sometimes those two things are one in the same; sometimes they aren't. But what you don't need to do is be out here thinking that just because he "loves" the sex that it's a foreshadowing of him eventually falling in love with you. This brings me to my next point.
Know the Difference Between “Good to You” and “Good for You”
There's a guy who I once had a crush on who said something to me that took me a minute to really understand.
When he told me that he dug me in a lot of ways, but he didn't want to "take it there", his reason was, "I want to be good for you not to you". Translation—"If we have sex, it would probably be off the chain, but if I can't promise you more than that, it could end up hurting you in the long run. To me, that's just not worth it."
Oh, how those two little words—"to" and "for"—can totally alter a relationship. When a man is only looking for great sex, he may only care about being good to you. But if he's serious about guarding your heart, protecting a friendship and/or building something substantial, he's going to do things that are good for you. If that means queuing Janet Jackson's "Let's Wait Awhile" (have y'all seen her video boo Taimak lately? He's still fine) or even avoiding sex altogether—please remember your worth and value to know that sometimes there is true protection in that kind of rejection. If sex can't be good to you and for you, it's OK—recommended even—to take a hard pass. Or receive one.
Keep in Mind That Oxytocin Is One HELL of a Drug
As often as I have the opportunity to do it, I share a video of a woman who provides some of the straight-up insight on the physical consequences of sex that aren't discussed very often. For instance, did you know that if you have (unprotected) sex with two different guys within a few days, you will probably catch a cold because your body is made to only handle one set of sperm; therefore, it will abandon your immune system to get the other sperm out? Amazing.
The moral is this—Just because a lot of us may take a casual approach to sex, that doesn't mean that our body does. There are natural hormones like oxytocin that causes us to bond with our partner, no matter where our head may be at concerning him. That's why folks can have a one-night stand and end up damn near stalking the person the following week. They think it's an emotional connection when it could just be the oxytocin that's surging through their system. After all, they don't call it the "love hormone" for nothin'.
That said, one of my favorite quotes on hell is by an old English philosopher named Thomas Hobbes. He once said that, "Hell is truth seen too late." I can't tell you how many times an oxytocin high has caused me to not want to look at the real truth about a relationship (or situationship) that I was in. That denial caused me to send myself through some pretty hellish moments and experiences.
It takes more than sexual compatibility to make something last. If you choose to not believe that, one way or another, hell is exactly what you are headed for. If not today, someday. If not with the current guy, another one.
Avoid Deep Conversations in the Bedroom
I'm gonna be straight-up on this one. Unless you are a 16-year-old girl, I'm hoping you already know that it's a bit delusional and manipulative to wait until during sex to have first-time heartfelt and profound conversations. Just think about it—what exactly do you expect a guy to say to you when he's inside of you and you whisper, "Do you love me?" in his ear? If he doesn't and he decides to be honest with you about that, how do you expect the rest of that particular experience to go? (Hence the article "How Much Can You Trust 'I Love You' During Sex?")
I'm not saying that the bedroom is an off-limits space for verbal affirmations or emotional conversations. What I am saying is if there is something that you genuinely want to know, you should probably do it before or after sex—and not right before or right after either.
Remember in the movie A Thin Line Before Love and Hate when Darnell (played by Martin Lawrence) talked about getting some head that was so good that he said, "I love you" right in the midst of ejaculating? What he meant was I love it not her (clearly because he "passed her off" to one of his homies for a discount on a shirt). Knowing the difference is a total game-changer. It's a potential lifesaver too.
Pay Attention to How He Treats You When You Aren’t Hooking Up
Back when I wrote the article "5 Things That Are OK To Require On A First Date", some people found "require" to be too harsh of a word. When you think that time is something that you can never get back, I don't. Yes, men are grown. Yes, none of us can make them be chivalrous or honest when it comes to the answers to our questions that they give. But, at the same time, for every action, there is most certainly a reaction. If a guy doesn't meet our requirements, we are fully within our rights to not see him again.
Same thing goes for what we require before any nookie goes down. If you really want to know if you run the risk of mistaking a great sex partner for a great life partner, reflect on how he treats you whenever you're not naked or when he's not trying to get you naked. Does he take you out on dates (ones that are outside of both of you guy's homes)? Is he affectionate with you even without the need for sex? Does he call you during business rather than booty call hours?
If a guy is trying to cultivate an actual relationship, he's going to act like there is more to what the two of you have than the physical. He will initiate and be intentional about spending non-bedroom-related quality time as well. If you can't honestly say that this is what's transpiring…right. Whether you want to admit to yourself what's up or not, I've got a feeling that you know. Now what?
Check Your Own True Motives and Intentions
Sex is temporary. The experience, the feelings—all of it. That's why I am a firm believer that sex doesn't "make love"; sex celebrates love. In order for it to do that, love needs time to plant itself and grow. Moving on to my last point, if you're someone who desires nothing more than a good time, you're grown. Do you. But if you are truly feelin' someone and you're thinking that sex is going to be the "make love move" to get him to want the same things that you do—that's quite the gamble. Please rethink that strategy. It's not fair to either one of you if you're going to use sex to try and create a mental, emotional and spiritual bond. Sex shouldn't be a tool to get a man to want to be with you. It should be an experience to enjoy once you already know that he does.
I've been there when I say that a lot of us confuse a great sex partner for a great life partner because we weren't clear about our own true motives and intentions from the jump. If you want a relationship, work on building that before bringing sex into it. Because once he puts it on you, it's going to be harder to tell what's "the sex" and what's "the relationship". And sometimes, trying to figure out the difference is like trying to pull two pieces of paper that are joined by glue apart. There will be remnants and bewilderment that could take weeks, if not months, to work through. And believe you me, no matter how good the sex might be, the fall out (even if it's only internal) simply isn't worth it.
Can you have great sex and a great life partner. 100 percent. Should you use sex to try and make a great relationship happen? Absolutely not. If something lasting is what you want, let both of your emotions connect you before oxytocin does. You'll be able to trust your judgment a lot better that way. So will he.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Why We Love Men Who Are Absolutely No Good For Us
What GROWN Women Consider Great Sex To Be
Is It Really Possible To Be In Love With Two People At The Same Time?
Sexual Compatibility Is As Important As Spiritual Compatibility
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Navigating Dating When Emotionally Unavailable & Detached: My Journey Back To Feeling
The last time I came with a dating story, I told you I got my little feelings hurt in 2021. I called myself trying to be out in these streets entertaining a man in a different area code, city, and state — only for homeboy to play in my damn face. So, I went and gave y’all "8 Rules To Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know This Summer." You’re welcome. Fast forward to 2024, and I am now coming to you from a more mature and intentional place. We’re not in summer yet, but I truly believe what blooms in spring, thrives in summer.
2023 was my year, and it was my turn. I had just completed an 8-month holistic detox. The glow-up was real and well-deserved. The way I have poured into myself is unmatched. Let me tell you, self-love is a love you have never known. After a five-year healing journey, I finally felt like myself again, and I was ready to play. My heart was open, my mind was clear, and my body hella transformed. I had told all my friends that I was ready to explore dating again, and at the height of summer, I did exactly just that.
This time I decided I wanted to take my time. I wanted to date the “right way” or the “healthy way.” You know, keep your options open, ask the right questions, believe actions and not words, observe patterns and pay attention to red, yellow, and green flags. I was never the dating app type of girl. I sincerely miss everything about human connection and dating from 2000 to 2012. Can we please bring all of that back into 2024? I prefer to feel a man’s energy and presence in real-time. Nonetheless, I still chose to dabble with a few dating apps. I was all the way outside and dating for practice.
Unfortunately, with today’s dating culture, social climate, and how some of these men move and/or behave, these dates were a dead end. Not one guy made it to my roster. What these men were was benched this season – not one of them could be my first-round select draft pick. It didn't seem like anyone I met was interested in a serious relationship. And it’s completely fine. Miss me with the ghosting, lack of effort, inconsistency, and poor communication. I continued to just do me because what is for me will not miss me.
Kelvin Murray/ Getty Images
The universe must have heard me talking because I had specifically told my closest girlfriends that I wanted to meet someone who lived in the vicinity, no more than twenty minutes away, and no more long distance. And I did meet him (it’s crazy how I manifest exactly what I want). As we started to get to know each other, I liked his energy and effort. I liked the direction it seemed to be going to the point my girlfriends had to tell me not to run from him. Because every part of me wanted to run from something that seemed normal.
I liked what he was coming with until I became uncomfortable with my own feelings, and I didn’t know how to communicate them to him.
With that said, I knew if I truly wanted to experience the truest of loves, a reciprocal, requited love, and be in a healthy relationship this story had to come to a pause. What I didn’t know was that he was going to show me things I didn’t know I needed to work on. I didn’t know he inadvertently was going to help me continue to heal parts of me that were hidden.
As someone who has learned to self-heal, I am no longer the type that runs from herself. I am here for the growth.
The truth is I am emotionally detached from myself, and I am not actively dating at the moment. I am the one that has to work on herself. My reiki healer called it, too – she told me this year would not be a year for a relationship, but a year of continuous growth. And now I see why. After all the healing work I have done thus far – I am an unemotional mess. How?
At my big age of 39, I struggle to communicate my wants and needs.
I still struggle to communicate and process uncomfortable feelings. I would rather give myself anxiety, act nonchalantly, emotionally react, and choose non-communication when I am bothered with someone than address the issue (I will later explain why). I have been ignoring my feelings for so long it has become a habit, a defense mechanism, and more so a trauma response.
If you are someone like me who grew up in a household that didn’t discuss feelings, your emotional needs were unmet, and you don’t feel safe to share your feelings – emotional detachment is quite common.
Oftentimes, we always talk about men being emotionally unavailable, but what if it’s a woman who is emotionally unavailable or emotionally detached? How does she navigate herself, dating, or being in a relationship? As I navigate my emotions this season, let’s explore what it means to be emotionally detached, the signs of detachment, and how to reconnect with yourself emotionally.
Emotional Unavailability vs. Emotional Detachment
When we look at the terminology emotional unavailability and emotional detachment, one might argue that the two terms are interchangeable and have the same meaning. One could also argue that both terms mean that some people are not in tune with their emotions or lack the emotional capacity to be responsive to someone else’s emotions. Fair enough. However, there is a big difference. The definition of emotional unavailability is described as people who have difficulty with sharing their emotions and being receptive to the emotions of those around them.
According to Verywell Mind, signs of emotional unavailability can look like being distant or cold, lack of closeness, and emotional intimacy in relationships, inability to understand and relate to others’ feelings, defensiveness when asked to change or let others in, tendency to shut down or avoid topics that require emotional openness, or withdrawal from people or situations that provoke emotional reactions.
Whereas emotional detachment is defined as the inability to or willingness to connect with others on an emotional level. Furthermore, Psychology Today states emotional detachment can also mean that people do not engage with their feelings. Exhibit A – me. Emotional detachment has various causes – past neglect, childhood or adult trauma, PTSD, depression, personality disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, or, in some cases, medication (i.e. antidepressants). It is important to note emotional detachment is a complex issue. For someone like me, it’s a coping mechanism.
It is easier for me to ignore uncomfortable feelings to protect myself from stress or getting hurt. Hence, my nonchalant demeanor. It is also true for some people it is a reaction to trauma, abuse, and unprocessed emotions. Exhibit B – me. As it is difficult for me to open up about my feelings at the moment. On the contrary – emotional detachment can be helpful in navigating some situations like listening to people’s opinions and gossip.
Unfortunately, emotional detachment is not a behavior that can be turned on and off at will. Please note that emotional detachment is NOT a mental health diagnosis but can be a symptom of a mental health condition such as an attachment disorder. And if you know anything about attachment theory, it is related to the relationship we develop in our childhood with our primary caregivers.
Signs You're Emotionally Detached
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According to Psychology Today and Verywell Mind, general signs of emotional detachment can look like difficulty showing empathy to others, sharing emotions, committing to a relationship, feeling numb, poor listening skills, lack of self-esteem, preferring to be alone, struggling to feel positive emotions, inability to identify emotions, lack of physical, verbal, or sexual contact and losing touch with people or maintaining connections.
In a romantic relationship, emotional detachment shows up as you or your partner not being available for connection, poor communication, or reduced affection.
For me, my experience with emotional detachment is collective. I am an empath to my core. I don’t have a problem relating to other’s feelings or circumstances. I don’t have commitment issues, nor do I have an issue connecting with others or maintaining those connections. I struggle with sharing emotions, at least the negative ones.
Due to the emotional abuse from my childhood and a toxic relationship, I learned sharing emotions just wasn't the safe thing to do. As a survivor of trauma, I learned to suppress feeling negative emotions in general as a form of protection.
How To Reconnect To Your Emotions When You're Emotionally Unavailable
Serious Kid Cudi GIF by Apple MusicGiphyExploring my emotional side in-depth started late last year simply by noticing my reaction to something that he did. I didn’t know how to properly communicate to him how I was feeling or what he did bothered me in the moment. So, I swallowed my feelings and said absolutely nothing. I intentionally chose to avoid the issue. I chose to rationalize the situation instead of acknowledging that my feelings at the time were valid. I chose to act like everything was all good because it was all good.
“It wasn’t that deep to begin with” is what I told myself. And this is where the problem lies.
The saying is true, “What happens in your childhood shows up in your adult relationships.” I came to realize that because I was not able to express my feelings as a child, I struggled to process them. I either hold back my feelings, take a long time to say how I feel, or don’t say anything at all. This is because I fear people will walk away from me like my mother did if I share what I truly feel. I fear my feelings won’t be validated, or they will be rejected.
With that said, I was completely unaware that I was emotionally detached from myself until recently. So, here we are with this article. It all started by reading Instagram’s @theholisticpsychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera’s newest book How to Be the Love You Seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships, which was released on November 28, 2023. As I read through the first chapter, I became triggered.
How Dr. LePera describes her childhood with her parents and experiences with her romantic partners somewhat mirrored my experiences with my own parents and relationships. As Dr. LaPera stated in her book, I have no issue showing up for others or meeting their needs and wants. But when it comes to expressing my own needs and wants – I cannot or I don’t. This is mainly due to my hyper-independence.
At an early age, I learned to show up for myself because the people I trusted to show up for me failed. Given my home environment, I had internalized it is not safe to talk about feelings. I never knew my emotional responses and behavior were abnormal. But because I am willing to continue to do my inner work, I know that I can reconnect to my emotions, and undo four decades of repressed emotions.
If you are someone like me who struggles with emotional connection with yourself and others, here is how you go about it:
Lighthouse Films/ Getty Images
1. Know Your Attachment Style
For me, the first step was to understand my attachment style. I asked my therapist if she could help me identify my attachment style to understand my triggers. She recommended The Attachment Theory Workbook by Annie Chen, LMFT. My therapist administered the associated online quiz – Attachment Quiz. If you haven’t figured out my attachment style yet by reading this article, I have an anxious attachment style.
This means I don’t do well with inconsistent behavior, especially from men (but I’m the type that holds men to standards too). People with an anxious attachment style have a need to feel close to their partner. It may come across as “clingy” or “needy.” However, this same need is often driven by fear of abandonment, mistrust, and low self-esteem. I would say knowing your attachment style is helpful because you can work towards having a secure attachment style (with practice) in your relationships – familial, business, work, platonic, or romantic.
2. Become Self-Aware
Most people who are not in the practice of self-care or self-healing are unaware of their triggers, patterns, and behaviors. We are so caught up in the daily minutiae of life that we forget to pay attention to the most important part of our days — ourselves. As Dr. LePera says, make it a conscious habit to pause throughout your day to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel?
- What am I doing right now?
- Am I present?
- Am I distracted and lost with other thoughts?
- What do I think or feel when I recall a specific experience with someone?
- What do I think or worry about?
- What would happen if I shared my authentic thoughts, perspective, feelings right now?”
This is what Dr. LePera refers to as exploring your embodied self or fulfilling your authentic needs in chapter two of her book. Consistent mindfulness and self-awareness are key to self-discovery and in any healing journey. Learning to focus on the present moment also includes paying attention to our emotional response to an event or how we think about emotions in general.
3. Practice Vulnerability
The idea of vulnerability is a tough one for me and so many other women for countless reasons. Whether it be toxic family, friendships, relationships, or trauma – trusting others with your thoughts and feelings is not easy. As much as I am open and transparent, I am not as vulnerable. And I believe there is so much power in the duality to be both. To trust someone, let alone a man with your authentic self is a delicate matter.
But it is emotional vulnerability that allows us humans to build authentic connections, create stronger relationships, and break down emotional walls. Emotional vulnerability is not something to be rushed – it takes time and practice from you and the people you choose to have in your life. Medical News Today suggests that we can learn to be vulnerable by opening up more to our closest friends, building our ability to become more trusting, and developing skills to regulate our emotions.
4. Seek Therapy
I have been in therapy for six years and counting. I would consider therapy one of my safe spaces. I am one of those individuals who recommend therapy to everyone as it has given me the tools and resources I need to navigate my life challenges. By choosing to get help, I was able to put my PTSD and depression in remission for four years now. I have also learned how to manage my anxiety.
I am fully aware that in this season of my life requires me to do the work to unlock new levels of self. And any time where I have consciously chosen growth – the universe or life has not failed me. I was able to heal my body, my heart, and my spirit. Now, it’s time to heal my inner child, this hurt little girl who lives in me.
I will say choosing a therapist is similar to dating; you might go through a few potentials until you find a therapist you connect with. Actually, one of my lifelong friends said to me the other day, “Your relationship with your therapist is one of the most important relationships in your life.” I needed her to say that, and I needed to hear it because it’s true. You are essentially trusting a licensed stranger to help you navigate your life on so many levels.
Be picky and ask the questions. Cut the cord at the first red flag given. Again, let me reiterate that emotional detachment is not a mental health diagnosis. It can be treated with the help of a therapist. Emotional detachment only becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with your daily life. Pay attention to changes in your daily behavior and make decisions to cope accordingly.
I am genuinely excited about reconnecting with my emotions. I want to feel all the feels – good, bad, and indifferent. I want to cry all the tears – especially the sad ones. I want to process and release negative emotions. I want to say how I feel in the moment with no fear.
If you are that girl who struggles with emotional connection or thinks you're emotionally detached, I hope that you become willing to face your inner child and show up for her. Don’t run – she has been waiting for you.
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