Have you ever heard a man reprimand another man for cheating on his spouse? I haven't.
What I have heard is men bragging about cheating, sympathizing with the cheater, assisting him in said cheating, or being amused by it. I've seen this circumstance time and time again and very rarely have I ever, certainly not in person heard a man speakout against cheating, so when I saw singer/songwriter Ne-Yo's recent Instagram post calling men to grow up, I was intrigued:
I don't know Ne-Yo personally, nor can I comment on what goes on within the confines of his marriage or personal life, but what I can say is that in a culture and industry where cheating is expected, glorified, and often times rewarded, it takes a brave, self-aware, and strong man to talk about it and I admire him for speaking on it.
What many men who have cheated on their spouses refuse to realize is the mental and emotional anguish their partner is put through when left to pick up the pieces and often times reconcile a marriage with a man who can't comprehend just how deeply his spouse has been affected. As a woman who is married to a man within the music industry, I've seen and felt firsthand what many of these women have experienced and it's not pretty.
Not only does being cheating on alter your confidence, it literally destroys your peace of mind as well as your outlook on love and the sanctity of marriage. What Ne-Yo did in writing his post was nothing extraordinary, at least it shouldn't have been. It should be normal for men to have this train of thought, to openly express their love for their partner, but sadly the society and culture we live in has normalized adultery more than they have men speaking out against it.
Even in Ne-yo's case though many praised him for his maturity and growth, there were also people who felt he wasn't being genuine and simply wanted to appeal to his female audience for sales purposes.
Again, I don't know Ne-Yo personally, nor am I counting his coins, but I do know that in addition to his own singing career, he's penned many songs for other singers. And if you know anything about royalties, yeah, he's probably not hurting over money.
Though the entertainment industry in general is strongly saturated with men who have cheated, had side babies, relationships and flings along with women who could care less about a ring, or a wife as long as her needs are met be that sexual, financial or simply wanting to be with a "celebrity," there is something so refreshing about a man who glorifies being with one woman and disdains those who feel otherwise.
While admittedly, I'm not one to #goals another relationship or marriage (because #yaneverknow), I thank Ne-Yo for his post. Even if you inspired one man to start thinking differently about love, relationships, marriage, in my opinion you did enough.
Thank you for unapolgetically and openly showing your wife and the world that all you need is her.
*Ariticle originally published on Poet Ashley Renee