Have you ever heard a man reprimand another man for cheating on his spouse? I haven't.
Ever.
What I have heard is men bragging about cheating, sympathizing with the cheater, assisting him in said cheating, or being amused by it. I've seen this circumstance time and time again and very rarely have I ever, certainly not in person heard a man speakout against cheating, so when I saw singer/songwriter Ne-Yo's recent Instagram post calling men to grow up, I was intrigued:
I don't know Ne-Yo personally, nor can I comment on what goes on within the confines of his marriage or personal life, but what I can say is that in a culture and industry where cheating is expected, glorified, and often times rewarded, it takes a brave, self-aware, and strong man to talk about it and I admire him for speaking on it.
What many men who have cheated on their spouses refuse to realize is the mental and emotional anguish their partner is put through when left to pick up the pieces and often times reconcile a marriage with a man who can't comprehend just how deeply his spouse has been affected. As a woman who is married to a man within the music industry, I've seen and felt firsthand what many of these women have experienced and it's not pretty.
Not only does being cheating on alter your confidence, it literally destroys your peace of mind as well as your outlook on love and the sanctity of marriage. What Ne-Yo did in writing his post was nothing extraordinary, at least it shouldn't have been. It should be normal for men to have this train of thought, to openly express their love for their partner, but sadly the society and culture we live in has normalized adultery more than they have men speaking out against it.
Even in Ne-yo's case though many praised him for his maturity and growth, there were also people who felt he wasn't being genuine and simply wanted to appeal to his female audience for sales purposes.
Again, I don't know Ne-Yo personally, nor am I counting his coins, but I do know that in addition to his own singing career, he's penned many songs for other singers. And if you know anything about royalties, yeah, he's probably not hurting over money.
Though the entertainment industry in general is strongly saturated with men who have cheated, had side babies, relationships and flings along with women who could care less about a ring, or a wife as long as her needs are met be that sexual, financial or simply wanting to be with a "celebrity," there is something so refreshing about a man who glorifies being with one woman and disdains those who feel otherwise.
While admittedly, I'm not one to #goals another relationship or marriage (because #yaneverknow), I thank Ne-Yo for his post. Even if you inspired one man to start thinking differently about love, relationships, marriage, in my opinion you did enough.
Thank you for unapolgetically and openly showing your wife and the world that all you need is her.
*Ariticle originally published on Poet Ashley Renee
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xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
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Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
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Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
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