

My Mother Was My First Investor. And This Must Be Normalized.
As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Robbie Johnson-Coutee's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
I've always worked in retail. One of my first experiences in the industry was working at a small women's boutique that was run by two older Black women. This was my first time seeing two women that looked like me successfully running a fully operated business, which I loved.
I would often wonder, how are they able to be build their brand?
And most importantly, how could I do the same?
I knew I needed to go out and gain more experience, which I absolutely did. I began to navigate through various chains: Bloomingdales, Bebe, Nordstrom, and Saks, specifically. In each of these, I learned buying and selling at a high-level, as well as the importance of targeting, and knowing, my customer. And as I maneuvered, I quickly picked up the skills necessary to place me in a position to one day own my own business.
My company is The ABI Project, an online women's fashion retailer, focusing on off-the-runway, special occasion pieces. We understand retail in a high-profile climate, and we work hard to sustain our brand through carefully selected wardrobe styling.
After many years of climbing the ladder, one day out of the blue, I was fired from my job at Saks, which devastated me. I was lost, and totally and desperately trying to find myself. I had just moved into my investment property with my then-boyfriend (now-husband) and we were struggling. Our son was enrolled in private school that we were paying for out-of-pocket. On top of all of that, our college debt had unnecessarily accumulated (trying to keep up with the Joneses), and our bills for our new place, became more and more difficult to manage due to downsizing from a two-income household, to just one.
I found myself drowning.
So, out of frustration, I began selling all of my designer pieces that I had accumulated from years of working in retail, and eventually, I was doing so well, that I figured I should start my own legit online business. And basically, due to that same frustration, and hustle, my business was born.
Of course with this new business, more expenses accrued. We all know it takes money to make money, and even though selling my designer items became a lucrative source of income, it wasn't enough to build out an entire business model while simultaneously catching up on bills and maintaining a household.
Well, one day, while having a conversation with my mother about career goals, she mentioned that she was interested in making a general business investment; she had recently retired at that time. My mother, who is my biggest supporter and an extremely savvy businesswoman, fed me her usual encouragement. So, when I told her that I was thinking of starting an online business, she jumped at the opportunity to invest.
And just like that, my mother became my first investor.
Amazing? Absolutely. But here's the thing, I was one of the lucky ones.
Ladies, our reality is this: when it comes to money, those who are set up for success, oftentimes they don't look like us. Actually, they look like us less than half a percent of the time.
Damn.
And I can take this a step further: black women disproportionately receive business investments at a pace of less than 5% of the time, leaving us to find, build, and sustain what we've worked for, on our own—at almost 100%.
But why? Why isn't this a focus? Why don't we plan for our families, why is there no means of being set up for success? How do we create the change to encourage our community to prioritize our children financially?
A great start is to first have the conversation and normalize it. It's imperative that we erase the pattern of not being set up properly by our parents.
For generations, our community never promoted entrepreneurship to our children—but we should have been. We are often limited to playing sports, learning a trade or getting a job, and/or being rushed into growing up to pay bills and contribute to the household. That's no way for a child to be introduced to adulthood.
Don't get me wrong, its not like I had it like that or was a trust fund baby myself, but I am able to say that my mother invested in me; and she invested in my business—which can be passed to my son if he so chooses. And even if he takes another path, the skills and experience that he has learned because of my business, is an aspect to this game that we often miss out on too.
So, I promote all my son's ideas, I listen to what he takes interest in. He assists me on various projects, he understands that there's more to a business than taking pictures and meeting sales goals. I walk him through the pros and cons of having a business so that he sees it's more to life than making someone else rich or paying bills. All this so he can get acclimated to operations. I want him prepared in a way that one day, I can invest in him too.
—
To my fellow entrepreneurs, my advice lies here:
- Take the time to invest in yourself, and your family, first. Prioritize your children's success, support their vision, allow them to have ideas.
- Make sure you are creating a business for you—and I say this to everyone who asks. At the end of the day, you are going to eat and sleep your business. The goal is to have a business that runs on autopilot. I promise the money will come.
- Surround yourself with like-minded women. You need someone you can bounce ideas off of, someone to keep you focused, someone you can learn from.
- Pay yourself. Treat yourself as an employee and make sure you have a check every two weeks just like everybody else.
- To my retailers, buy in moderation and learn who your customer is. Buy for your customer. The goal is always to sell out, not to put merchandise on sale.
- And save, save, save, save, save. That is the most important thing.
When I'm overwhelmed, I do as most women do and I take a break; a break from social media, a break from my phone. I'll even sleep. When the time allows, I'll travel. I've been concentrating more on my self-care by listening to and discovering new music, which is a big part of my life. And now I'm planning to escape this quarantine with strong goals and pivoting a bomb fall season move. I'm actually looking forward to showing my customers what I'm working on.
Anyway, ladies, my biggest hope is that down the line—when investing in our families becomes the norm—my story still resonates. I'm no different from any of you: I am a mother, I am a wife, I am a fly girl. I love fashion. I follow trends as well as make my own. I'm a boss in real life not just on Instagram. I do it for my people, not for likes. My business is operated by me, and my staff...all people of color. We are original, we are one of a kind which is the essence of our culture. My brand is a lifestyle, my brand is my lifestyle. And I'm sharing it with you.
All because I had a mom who believed in me.
To continue to follow Robbie's journey, you can follow her on Instagram at @abi.project.
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
The Libra woman and Aries man are the divine feminine and divine masculine, coming together as one. The love compatibility between these two is one for the books. These two are opposite signs, however, their differences tend to complement each other well. This is a dynamic relationship where they know how to have a lot of fun together, but also aren’t afraid to deal with the more serious stuff that comes with a relationship.
The Libra woman is looking for her equal in love, someone who is willing to put in the same effort she is, and the Aries man sees Libra as someone he is willing to do that with.
The Love Compatibility Of A Libra Woman And An Aries Man
What attracts a Libra woman and an Aries man to each other?
There is a magnet of attraction pulling these two together, and things tend to move pretty fast in this relationship. The Libra woman is always open to love and her charming nature rarely has any challenges here. The Aries man fights for his independence and doesn’t sacrifice that unless he is completely enamored with someone.
Once the Aries man catches the eye of the Libra woman, he is typically the one to make the first move and this instantly wins the approval of Libra.
These two feel like they have known each other forever when they meet, and this spark between them doesn’t die down easily.
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What is the relationship like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The relationship between the Libra woman and the Aries man is one of balance and excitement. The Aries man tends to take on the more dominant role in this relationship and the Libra woman tends to be the more receptive one. Aries is ruled by masculine Mars, and Libra is ruled by feminine Venus. They understand they are coming from two completely different worlds, yet they also instinctively feel this underlying connection to each other and like they could be something each other needs in their lives.
The Libra woman can rely on the Aries man, and the Aries man never has to ask for the love that Libra already knows he needs.
This is a couple that is often reading each other’s minds and wanting to do a lot of the same things. However, not everything is rainbow in this relationship as well, and there are some major differences they have to overcome to make things work. One argument can lead to an explosion between these two, and addressing things when they come up rather than sweeping them under the rug, will be needed to make this relationship long-term.
What is the sex like between a Libra woman and an Aries man?
The sex between a Libra woman and an Aries man is adventurous. These are two cardinal signs with plenty of energy and stamina to keep things exciting in the bedroom. There tends to be a good give and take in this relationship, and their yin and yang energy benefits them when it comes to their sex life.
There is electricity felt between the two of them in this area of their life, and their power of attraction to each other is strong. These are two people who will want to do a lot of things together, including exploring sexually together.
The Aries man will have to be careful with being overly aggressive, however, as the soft Libra woman may not like this energy- it will completely depend on the two individuals at hand. The Libra woman wants to ease into things, the Aries man wants to get going right away. Learning about each other's bodies, and energy, and reading each other’s cues will help with this.
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What makes a relationship between a Libra woman and an Aries man work?
These two genuinely like each other, and that basis is a key factor for success in any relationship. The Aries man is straight to the point, direct, and inspired. The Libra woman admires these characteristics in others, as she is often herself finding her balance in this type of energy as well. Neither sign is overly emotional in a way that turns them off, and they both require a lot of the same things in a committed relationship. They want honesty, fun, good communication, passion, and to be moving towards a common goal together.
The Libra woman and Aries man don’t have a problem being real with each other and this is something they really value within the relationship. They are both very charming, and there is plenty of flirtation and attraction to keep this relationship going. Aries being the protector they are, Libra finds a sense of safety and ease in this energy, and like they have found their match. Overall, this is a well-balanced relationship and one where they don’t have a problem when it comes to compatibility or chemistry in the relationship.
What may cause a Libra woman and an Aries man to break up?
Libra is the lover, Aries is the fighter, and this energy may be tiring for the both of them after time. The Libra woman can be passive to a fault, and the Aries man who is not evolved, may take advantage of that. She will need to be careful with putting Aries’ needs above her own, creating resentment later down the road. The Aries man loves a challenge, and the Libra woman would be up for that game for a little bit, but if she is not being met in the middle, she will begin to look for other places. These two can have a difficult time keeping the peace in the relationship, and there could be a lot of arguments and disagreements here if they both aren’t willing to put their egos or self-pleasing attitudes to the side.
The Libra woman and Aries man are both more sensitive than they appear or come off as. They are also not necessarily the type to dive deep into their emotions and express them to others, even in their relationships. However, this energy can keep the relationship to a surface level than what is needed to progress and grow the relationship, and a sense of openness is required for this couple to work. Libra needs romance, she wants to be wowed. Aries needs to remember this and to always consider her love language.
Summary
Overall, this is a successful pairing. They will have their fair share of challenges in the relationship, but nothing they can’t overcome if they are willing to. The trouble will come in when it comes to the longevity of the relationship, keeping Aries excited and Libra in love. However, all in all, there is more power, attraction, and love to keep this relationship together rather than apart. No relationship is perfect, but this one is a little more blessed than most.
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