

Whew. This one right here? It's a lot. Too much, to tell you the truth. Yet before I try to even merely scratch the surface of what I mean when I say that we failed Megan, by the mere chance that she sees/skims/reads this (or someone who is actually close to her and is resonating with her pain in ways that fans and spectators simply cannot), I just want to say, on behalf of the entire xoNecole team, Megan, I am so sorry this happened to you. And by "this", there are layers.
I'm sorry that you were shot.
(Lord.)
I'm sorry that you being shot has been scrutinized since day one.
(Because it really doesn't matter how or why you got shot. YOU GOT SHOT.)
I'm sorry that a relational dynamic that you clearly wanted to remain private had to become public because you were scrutinized since day one.
I'm sorry that you felt that you had to post pictures of your wounds in order for skeptics, trolls and way-too-nosy people to believe you.
(I'm not gonna share those pics by the way. You deleted the pics, so I will honor that.)
I'm sorry that, during a time that should be really awesome for you, you've gotta be distracted by focusing on the trauma of the harm you were caused, compounded by the media, on top of all that what we don't know—that is absolutely none of our business.
I'm sorry that the Black community, as a whole, didn't rally around you; not because there aren't layers to the story but because you, as a Black woman, being harmed, by a Black man, is enough of a reason for you to get our full support. Because Black men should never harm a Black woman. And Black women should never harm a Black man. We are royalty. This is beneath us.
I'm sorry because, whenever harm is done to one of us, especially at the hands of one of us, we need to immediately call that to the carpet—loudly and clearly. Black people have to contend with enough. Us hurting one another—or not holding ourselves accountable if/when we do—is something that should never be a part of our narrative. Yet it is. Far too often. Unfortunately and disgustingly so.
I'll admit that "sorry" is not a usual go-to word (I prefer "apologize" which is another article for another time). But as a writer, I strive to be word-specific and "sorry" is exactly what I mean in Megan's case because one definition of the word is "feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.". And yes, after watching her video last night—one that confirmed that she was indeed shot by Tory Lanez—profound feelings of sympathy are exactly what transpired. That, along with regret that it took a lot of us watching that video to actually speak up and out. For that, Megan, I am also sorry.
If we're paying attention to this thing called life, other people's experiences can be teachable moments. Not only can they; they should be. Not only that but, whenever we fail others, it's a chance to do better. This is what I will strive to do, via some of the Twitter outcries from others who, I believe, are seeing Megan's current situation as, not gossip or fodder, but a rallying cry for us to do better. Much better. It's past time.
"Black Women Do Not Deserve This Sh*t."
If you haven't seen the video of Megan sharing what transpired the night she was shot, you can check out Baller Alert's post of it here. Even though it's just a little over five minutes long, what she's saying is really a lot to take in. Megan trying to walk away from an argument. Tory shooting her when she did. Megan being hesitant to say anything, even while she's bleeding, because police officers are suspect AF (if you want to get to the root of law enforcement, check out "How the U.S. Got Its Police Force" and when it comes to Megan's justified fear, check out "US police kill up to 6 times more black people than white people"). Megan going to the hospital and automatically being treated as a suspect. SMDH.
Us constantly being treated so poorly, as a people in this country, that Megan didn't even feel comfortable being vulnerable with her medical team. Megan talking about trying to spare Tory, in spite of him shooting her (SHOOTING HER). Tory not being in jail right now because she didn't reveal that he shot her (SHOT HER). Megan doing a PSA in spite of her trauma ("Stop acting like Black women are the [MF'in] problem. Stop acting like Black women are aggressive, when all they be doing is speaking the [MF'in] facts…stop lying on people."). Megan asking folks to stop speaking on the situation like they were there when they weren't (a point that applies to ALL of us, by the way).
As a writer, a quote that I made up and try to live by is, "Not everyone can write but all of us love to edit." What I mean by that is, whenever we either read about someone's life (or a version of it) or even when they offer us the privilege of knowing some things out of their own mouth, it's so easy for us to up and decide what is really going on or to determine what they should (or should not) have done, while serving as the very unsolicited judge and jury. Unfortunately, Megan is absolutely no exception to this reality. In fact, she's actually a roaring example right now. Yet we've got to keep in mind that, regardless of whatever we don't know—and may never know—her five-minute share was more than enough.
To be assaulted (assaulted means "a violent, sudden attack") by someone you know, to feel like you can't trust law enforcement or medical staff to protect you, and then to be berated constantly by cyberspace—we don't need one more detail of this instance. That is enough to come to a full conclusion that what happened to Megan was dead-ass wrong, on a few levels.
A Black man harming her. Dead-ass wrong. Being a citizen of a country where you can't trust the people put into position to protect you to do just that. Dead-ass wrong. Being basically cyberbullied into sharing aspects of your life before you want to and/or are ready. Dead-ass wrong. For this, Tory, the cops, and the medical team who came into Megan's path, along with anyone didn't apply the golden rule when it came to whatever they posted/shared about this totally f—ked up situation—all of these folks owe Megan a profoundly heartfelt apology. What's to debate about this? Absolutely nothing.
Please Keep That Same Energy
Yes Bree. Good point. I can't tell you how many white evangelicals I had side-eye discussions with about "WAP" while Jerry Falwell, Jr. was out here taking (and posting) pics with this pants unzipped and Trump—perhaps the most misogynistic man on the planet—is up for a second nomination (y'all…Y'ALL). Aside from the fact that Proverbs 5:15 instructs husbands to drink from their wife's cistern (look up the definitions of cistern sometime) and Song of Solomon not being exactly PG-rated, the hypocrisy of it all? Whew!
By no means am I trying to cram "WAP" down anyone's throat. You have every right to not like it, to find it to be in poor taste and/or to feel, however, it is that you do, because, indeed, bullying can go both ways (you don't have to like or support what is popular…not at all).
But damn—the amount of think pieces against the song that exists vs. the silence that has transpired when one of the artists featured on the same song has shared that she was shot by someone else in the industry is literally disgusting. Y'all got time to be upset about a normal biological function but not violence against women? And by "y'all", I mean anyone who took precious time out of their day to denounce a song but somehow can't find a fraction of that same time to acknowledge that a woman being assaulted is egregiously vile.
And here's the thing—"WAP" is debatable; violence against women isn't. Ever. Anyone who's determined that they are a moral authority, Romans 13:10 tells us that love doesn't harm its neighbor. Silence is a cryptic and complicit form of causing harm. The reason why I say that is because, if blatant sexuality offends you then violence against women should absolutely outrage you. Does it? Has it?
Fellas, Where You At? Really?
I have been very open (and unapologetic) about the fact that I am a complementarian. That is someone who believes that men and women are equal in value yet have different strengths and weaknesses that serve to complement and balance one another; especially in relationships. So, I am definitely not the one who spends my time talking about how trash men are or how much women don't need them. Let me tell it, the PTSD of slavery has Black men and Black women constantly going at each other for sport (again, SMDH). Yet, at the same time, because I am a complementarian, I wholeheartedly believe that men are to play a very vital role in protecting women; not because women can't protect themselves, but we simply shouldn't have to alone.
That said, there is not one scenario where it would make sense to me that a man would shoot a woman who is trying to deflect a situation, so it goes without saying that Tory failed at a part of his responsibility of being a man, miserably so. Yet, I've gotta agree with Jasmyn on this one too. While I can't speak for all men in the world, I will say that I did some due diligence this morning to see what men—especially men with a platform—had to say about Megan's video, and, for the most part, you could hear a pin drop. Again, silence can be complicit and, to be honest, it shouldn't be a "matter of opinion or perspective" for men want to totally take the "WTF?!" approach to hearing that a woman has been harmed; especially by one of their own. It should be a natural reaction, to tell you the truth. The fact that it's not, means that our community is also failing when it comes to men unconditionally supporting women who've been put into harm's way—because that is a trait of masculinity. Isn't it?
Megan spoke truth when she said that so many individuals are already and automatically against us as Black people. This means that if anyone should have our backs, it should be us. Black women should not just feel safe around Black men—ALL BLACK MEN—but we should also feel that, when a man isn't operating in the knowledge of what he is supposed to do and who he is supposed to be, other Black men will rebuke and correct him…because that, too, is a form of protecting us. And of being a responsible male human being. No man should have to know Megan personally to be outraged that she was harmed.
It takes a village to do a lot of things. Supporting others through their trauma and healing is definitely on the list. Fellas, where you at?
Stop Expecting Black Women to "Carry" You All the Damn Time
Ugh. If I read one more tweet from a white liberal about how Black women are gonna save them—AGAIN. Lawd, please don't assume that white GOPs are the only opportunists out here. It's very common for Black people—especially Black women—to be used around election time, only to have our needs be totally discarded after votes are tallied and we carried this nation…one more time.
My point?
Black women are amazing. We're beautiful. We're brilliant. We're resilient as hell. We love hard and fiercely. We've got a connection to the Most High that is subhuman. Yes, all of this is true. Yet this assumption that our main or only purpose is to carry y'all—ANY AND ALL OF Y'ALL—is a form of abuse that isn't given the kind of PSA that it deserves. We are gifts to this world, not merely your fill-in-the-blank-whenever-you-need-a-blank-filled resource.
And that's what else makes me say, "I'm sorry" to Megan. I really do. For so many of us to be brought up, to see and/or to be pressured into thinking that we've got to put our own needs and desires aside, constantly, so that others are good, that isn't the indication of being a "strong Black woman". It's actually the sign of a total breakdown in the reality of how we, as Black women, are to be esteemed and treated; especially by Black men. Lord, can you imagine being harmed by someone you know, only to be expected to protect them, as you're trying to process actually being put into harm's way—at the same time? It's been past time for Black women to be required to have a high threshold of pain in order to represent our worthiness.
Sorry is about sympathy, remember? I've got sympathy for Megan in this area because I can totally relate. My molester didn't go to jail, shoot that man didn't even get arrested, because "Christians" decided for me that another approach needed to be taken without even asking how I felt (and I was a teenager at the time that I told). The victimizer was protected more than the victim. And that victimizer continues to violate boundaries (trying to contact me, speaking to me when he sees me, etc.) that were set, even to this day, because he wasn't held accountable from day one.
Surviving all of that trauma isn't a sign that I should've had to endure it. Megan surviving her trauma isn't a sign that should've had to endure hers either. It's a brutal insult to say or even believe that, since a Black woman could "take", whatever it was, it wasn't that bad. Again, WTF? We shouldn't have had to "take it" at all. Folks need to be strong enough to say that, on repeat, for generations to come.
I could go on for days. I really could. But if you're a Black woman reading this, I'm sure you can relate enough to where no more really needs to be said. At least not for now. I'll just conclude with, when I say that we, as a whole, failed Megan, I'm mostly coming from the definition of fail that is "to prove of no use or help to". The Dalai Lama once said, "If you can, help others. If you cannot do that, at least do not harm them." Harm isn't just physical injury. Harm is also mental damage and moral injury too. A sistah of ours was harmed. Before you judge, before you post, before you "edit"—are you about to help her or cause her further harm?
Far too many of us have already failed her by not asking this very question before now.
Let's help—satisfy a need, contribute strength and make things easier—from here on out, OK?
As a people, this should be a given.
Because it wasn't, again Megan, I'm truly sorry.
Join our xoTribe, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up.
Featured image by instagram.com/theestallion
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
It’s officially Miss Keri, Baby season again—and if you ask us, it’s been a long time coming. After 15 years away from the music scene, Keri Hilson has returned not only with a brand-new album, but also a captivating new role in Lifetime’s Fame—the latest installment in The Temptations film franchise.
Between the album We Need to Talk: Love and her leading role in Fame, this isn’t just a comeback—it’s a rebirth. The Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter turned actress is letting us into her world like never before, unpacking themes of vulnerability, healing, and inner strength with grace, grit, and raw artistry.
Now streaming on Lifetime, Fame follows two superstar sisters—played by Keri and singer/actress Keshia Chanté—as they navigate the cost of stardom, sibling rivalry, and the dark side of desire. The film also stars Romeo Miller, Ecstasia Sanders, Nathan Witte, and Sophie Carriere, and is executive produced by Derrick Williams and Adriane Hopper Williams of the Seven Deadly Sins franchise.
As for the music? We Need to Talk: Love is a three-part album (Love, Drama, Redemption) that tells the story of a woman who’s been through it—and has risen from the ashes. “It was time to speak for myself,” Keri says.
We sat down with Keri to talk about her return to music, her passion for acting, the emotional depth of Fame, and how she’s learning to care for herself amidst the chaos.
From R&B Queen to Drama Star: Keri Gets Into Character
“Even though she’s famous—as am I—it was really her humanity that I wanted to portray.”
Keri plays Cherish, one half of a superstar sibling duo who must confront their fractured relationship in the wake of a traumatic robbery. For Keri, the role was more than a character—it was a psychological study.
“I enjoy departures from reality. That’s why I love acting,” she shares. “Psychology is one of my favorite things in life. I became a writer because I’m an observer of human nature, emotion, and behavior. I think I did a good job showing her humanity.”
The Fame Isn’t Always Worth the Price
“Keep the main thing the main thing.”
Keri doesn’t sugarcoat the industry. When asked about what Fame reveals about the dark side of celebrity culture, her answer is clear:
“It’s a cautionary tale. It reminds you to keep your family close and not allow anything to come between them—especially in pursuit of success. Keep the main thing the main thing. For me, that’s family, love, spirituality, and values.”
Three Chapters, One Story: Love. Drama. Redemption.
“I’ve shed the fear. It was time to tell my own story.”
Released April 18th, We Need to Talk: Love is Keri’s first album in 15 years—and a deeply personal one at that. The three-part project (Love, Drama, Redemption) represents a timeline of healing and growth.
“I’m finally in a place where I’m able and willing to open up more,” she says. “For a while, I became really guarded—shell-shocked, even—after making mistakes in the public eye. Whether it’s all your fault or not, the scrutiny takes its toll. But now, I’ve shed that fear. It’s time to tell my story.”
Cooking, Walks, and Recalibrating in the Chaos
“I’m not doing the best job—but I’m doing what I can.”
Between eight-hour rehearsals, press runs, and music releases, Hilson admits she hasn’t quite figured out the balance yet—but she’s trying. For her, the key is carving out small rituals of normalcy.
“I enjoy cooking. That’s my sanctity,” she says. “I’ll go home, take my makeup off, put on my rehearsal clothes, and cook a meal. I take walks. I run. These little things help me feel like myself again.”
Art Imitates Life (and Album Tracklists)
“Cherish goes from Love… to Drama… to Redemption.”
Asked which album chapter her Fame character would fall into, Keri doesn’t hesitate. “She fits into all three,” she says. “You see her go from love, to drama, to redemption. That arc mirrors the journey of so many women who’ve had to navigate pain and find their way back to themselves.”
No Pressure, Just Art: Keri Wants You to Feel Something
“Just enjoy the art. That’s it.”
After all the time, patience, and healing, Keri isn’t asking for much. She just wants fans to press play—and feel something.
“I just want people to enjoy what they’re seeing and hearing. Enjoy me on screen. Enjoy me through their ears. People have waited, and I feel blessed by that. That helps me keep it all pure and simple.”
As Keri Hilson steps boldly back into the spotlight, it’s clear this era is all about alignment, artistry, and authenticity. With Fame airing on Lifetime and the first chapter of We Need to Talk: Love setting the tone, we’re more than excited to see what’s next.
As she continues to unfold the album’s next two chapters—Drama and Redemption—one thing’s for sure: this isn’t just a comeback. It’s a reintroduction. And we’ll be watching, listening, and cheering her on every step of the way.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by AFF-USA/Shutterstock