In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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"It was just kind of seeking an individual establishment because we were children when we met and then we grew into adults," Thompson shared in a PEOPLE exclusive. "We had yet to kind of discover what our adult life was like without work being involved."
"Not that it was forced, but you're forced to go to work every day. You know what I'm saying?" he continues. "So we wanted a version where we were able to decide for ourselves what we were going to be doing and pursuing kind of thing."
Thompson went on to tell the publication that "time" played a crucial role in rekindling their bond, acknowledging that it had been "ridiculously too long" since the two had been in contact.
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For Mitchell, it was an hours-long phone call with his television companion that ultimately made space for them to express their grievances and reflect on their growth from Kenan and Kel as teenage years to their present adult selves.
"I think we had a conversation on the phone one time. I remember that conversation," the former child star said. "We talked for at least about an hour or two and just was like, 'Yeah, man.' We're talking about everything. And that bond was there, which I think is awesome. It's cool to see the dynamic of us as adults. Kenan and Kel as adults."
In 1994, the funny guys first captured our hearts and tickled our funny bones on Nickelodeon's hit sketch comedy series, All That. Their friendship led to the creation of the Kenan & Kel show and continued on to co-star in the 1997 film Good Burger as Dexter (Thompson) and Ed (Mitchell).
The two shared that at times, “being around each other started to feel forced... as opposed to we're excited to be on the show together and all that stuff" leading them to need space to figure out the next chapter of their dynamic.
Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic, Inc
"We had already done that. So then it was like, 'All right, now what?'" Mitchell adds. "So if we're going to be in a position where we're forced to work, we would want to be comfortable knowing that I am who I am, he is who he is, and we know who those people are. And then we know that they both work well together."
Like most friendships that stand the test of time, there are ups and downs that define the relationship and allow it to take on a new form. When reflecting on their bond, Mitchell says that it’s, "These are reminding moments," that matter the most.
"It's a brotherhood. We've known each other since we were kids. We both had our own journeys and journeys together. It's a friendship that has been [able to last] over a test of time, which is super awesome," he says.
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"We were so bonded when we were young because we spent so much time working. And we spent so much time hanging out together as well, because we were very similar in our families. We're so close," Mitchell continues. "But now since it's been a departure and a return, it's like there will never be another departure. You know what I mean? We've already experienced the mysteries of, well, what if I went off and you went off and you did this? We've seen what that is."
Although Thompson feels it’s "hard to put it in one word" just how much his friendship with Mitchell means to him, it’s clear that the quick-witted “dude” and his orange soda-loving bestie are back and better than ever.
"Now, there's no fear of it or there's no feeling of we're missing out on any kind of thing or whatever. It's such a pleasure and that guaranteed 'somebody's got your back' feeling at any given moment in the room. Everything is just easy."
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