xoNecole has officially launched its first podcast xoNecole Happy Hour and it's a whole vibe!
When your co-workers are working your last nerve or your boo "ain't acting right." Or when you just need to hear from your girls on all things affecting your glow up, tune into the xoNecole Happy Hour Podcast so you can wooosahhh with us each week.
Every Wednesday, xoNecole founder Necole Kane and co-hosts, Sheriden Chanel and Amer Woods, aka "your homegirls in your head" will delve into unfiltered discussions on life, love, sex, personal/professional growth and everything in between. The 20 to 30 something-year-old hosts' differing opinions and life experiences will entertain, encourage and empower you to continue to evolve into the woman you want to be. And their vulnerability and transparency will leave you crying, laughing and ready to yell out, "Yaaas sis, preach!"
So if you need a mid-week mental refill, grab some wine and join us every Wednesday starting at 4pm on Itunes or Spotify.
Episode 1: WTF Happens In Your 30s: Life Shifts & Saturn’s Return
xoNecole Happy Hour Podcast
On the debut episode of xoNecole's Happy Hour podcast the hosts get real about the life shift that happens as you close out your 20s and head into your 30s. Necole reveals the struggles behind the scenes of her huge career pivot from gossip blogging to female empowerment, including almost walking away from the xoNecole site after accumulating mounds of debt and having to pay her team out of her own pocket while living in a community space in New York City. Amer opens up about leaving a domestic violence situation and how solo travel encouraged her to hit the reset button on her life, and Sheriden reflects on the past few years as managing editor of xoNecole.com, and why she's currently experiencing imposter syndrome. If Saturn's Return is coming for you at this stage in your life– you're in for a few laughs and thought-provoking revelations from the hosts of xoNecole's Happy Hour.
Listen to Episode 1 on Itunes or Spotify. And don't forget to rate, review & subscribe!
Episode 2: I Met My Husband In An UberPOOL
xoNecole Happy Hour Podcast
Inspired by the xoNecole.com article "I Meet Him In An UberPOOL & Now We're Married", the second episode of xoNecole's Happy Hour explores the possibilities of finding love in unexpected places. The ladies interview special guests Jenisa and Lester Richmond about their unpredictable love story that started in a rideshare in Los Angeles. Lester shares how Jenisa ghosted him twice before finally saying yes to a first date, and Jenisa shares how they kept the relationship going while living in two different states. Plus, the Happy Hour hosts confess their fantasy places for meeting a love interest and present an interesting challenge for listeners who are open to new love.
Listen to Episode 2 on Itunes or Spotify. And don't forget to rate, review & subscribe!
Subscribe now on Itunes or Spotify, and drop the ladies a line on Instagram or by using the hashtag #xohappyhour!
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images
