

The Ups And Downs Of Explaining Complicated Careers To Family Members
Recently, I was over my great aunt's house for the day to visit and check in on family. On that particular visit, the conversation was going to a familiar place, one that I always avoid with family—or actually anyone who doesn't work in my industry. I felt it heading into the dreaded direction that I knew it would, when suddenly it came...
"So, how is work?"
Lawd,I hate this question. I hate it even more than the inevitable questions about when I plan to get married or have kids. In comparison, those questions are easy to laugh off, I can deal with those. The work question, not so much.
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like to discuss work with anyone, however discussing my line of work is not that simple. And to be honest, it's out of the scope of what most people can comprehend. I respond with my usual, safe answer, "Work is good."
"Oh that's great. What is it that you do again?"
Plotting my escape, I reply, "I work in marketing."
"Oh, so you sell things over the phone?"
"No. That's telemarketing. I'm a content marketer."
Ten minutes later, there I was, trying to explain my day-to-day. I started to see the usual confusion begin to appear on faces as their eyes glazed over and I knew with certainty the very next time I see them, I'd have this exact same conversation again.
But it wasn't until that very moment that I realized, it's not that they don't understand my career. It's just that I am not having the right conversations.
Here's the thing: my industry requires and hosts a very broad skill set. It comes with a varying degree of responsibilities, and frankly could stretch across a multitude of other industries—all industries, to be exact. For example, I work in marketing, yes. But I've worked field marketing, I've worked corporate (or in-house as some refer to it), and most currently, content marketing on a freelance and/or corporate in-house basis. And absolutely no one knows what that means. Our society is only conditioned to understand what it is a lawyer does or a doctor or police officer or hairstylist. Never do they understand that some of us are bloggers, or create digital email marketing campaigns, or are UX analysts.
So, I set my sights on a mission to improve my communication, one parent, aunt, cousin, and grandpa at a time.
Here are some tips and tricks to improve your career conversation with the fam:
Practice
Stressed Issa Rae GIF by Insecure on HBOGiphy
It sounds ridiculous, but one key element to saving a few grey hairs, is to practice. Actors practice, dancers practice, why should you enter the gauntlet unprepared? OK, I'm joking (kind of) but there is nothing wrong with going over talking points for the questions that Aunt Bertha Mae will be grenade-launching at you as soon as you make it to the door. Simply knowing where to take the conversation, where to avoid disaster, and going over it in your mind, will help you to not have to pack your to-go plate so fast.
In many instances, explaining your career comes during those times when you're sitting and soaking up some good ole wisdom with the elders, or at least those who haven't been in the workforce in years. The most questions will come from those that are the most confused. And these elders don't have a filter so don't be offended if they are generally curious as to why you haven't purchased a home yet, but you can afford that trip to the Caribbean.
Speak From a Place of Listening vs. a Place of Explaining
I can't stress this enough: gauge what your family member understands about your career, rather than going into a full elevator pitch. You can simplify your conversation by asking, "How familiar are you with [insert your profession]?" or "What do you know about [your industry i.e. finance, sports marketing, etc]?" And if you know subject matter may go over their head, don't hesitate to water down the conversation. Telling Aunt Jan that you're "creating a video" may be easier for her to comprehend than "uploading a promotional spot for this new CPG client".
Knowing your audience is key, so they may not understand image pixels or blog tags, but they will understand that social media operates within its own methods.
Take the time to seek to the best way to clarify, as if you weren't familiar with your career as well. This allows your counterpart to both engage and feel at ease. Thus, no more of the same questions next year. #yay
Give a Stand-Out Example
Giphy
I'll never forget the time, while discussing a few career goals with a family member, that I gave my family member that "a-ha" moment. It felt like I bungee-jumped and loved it. But to be honest, truly helping them connect those dots is the key difference in having a substantial conversation or having a drive-by chat. If they've retired from the railroad, and they understand how a component to their job connects to an element of yours, then stay on that course. Transferable skills lie within every single industry out there. Avoid your industry lingo, and instead tell a funny story about a work assignment. Find common ground in places where there are none.
That way, when sitting at the dinner table next year, at least you know Uncle David will have your back because he remembers that funny work story, and he'll be able to follow-up, relate to, sense opportunity, or simply help navigate a next solid move—because once upon a time, he dealt with this shit too.
Simply Have the Patience
It is important to have patience with anything you're speaking about with family, but it is highly-specified requirement when discussing your career. It's honestly a skill within itself. Patience allows you to get comfortable in the conversation, and maybe even taking it a step further to discuss your two-year phased-out career plan. And if you're that ballsy, I say go for it, but have patience.
Just understand the world is ever-evolving and nothing will make sense to you in ten years either. Being careful in these conversations allows you to attend the holidays next year, picking up where you left off. And most of all, your parents will wholeheartedly be able to support your vision when one—or both—of them calls for the day.
Let us know if these tips helped you have those conversations. Happy chatting!
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Featured image by Giphy
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.