For years, studying
zodiac sign compatibility has been a fascinating journey for those who want to understand the dynamics of their relationships better. Between the first date debates of Cheesecake Factory vs. coffee shops, we truly understand that sometimes looking to a higher power to guide you on who to date sounds like a good idea. So, it is no surprise that people often turn to Astrology to gain insights into their compatibility with others.
Since no one covers dating, love and relationships, and sex as we do at xoNecole, this guide will delve into the intriguing world of zodiac sign compatibility. Here is everything you want to know about how each sign interacts with others, how the planets impact compatibility and what are the most and least compatible zodiac signs.
Zodiac Compatibility Chart
(March 21-April 19) |
(April 20-May 20) |
(May 21-June 20) |
(June 21-July 22) |
(July 23-August 22) |
(August 23-September 22) |
(September 23-October 22) |
(October 23-November 21) |
(November 22-December 21) |
(December 22-January 19) |
(January 20-February 18) |
(February 19-March 20) |
Table of Contents
- The Big Three In Astrology: Sun, Moon & Rising Signs
- Cusp Signs and Compatibility
- What Makes Someone's Zodiac Sign Compatible
- Planets That Help Shape Zodiac Sign Compatibility
- The Most Compatible Zodiac Signs
- Love Matches by Sun Sign
- Least Compatible Zodiac Signs
- Opposite Signs and Compatibility
- Conclusion
The Big Three In Astrology: Sun, Moon & Rising Signs
But there is more to zodiac compatibility than just your sign. Even if you are slightly into Astrology, you’ve heard of the sun, moon, and rising signs. This is also called the "Big Three" referring to the three essential components of an individual's birth chart.
These components provide insights into their personality, emotions, and outward demeanor. Together, they offer a comprehensive view of a person's astrological profile, shedding light on various aspects of their life and character.
Evheniia Vasylenko
The Sun Sign
Key Characteristics:
- Represents the core of one's identity
- Governs one's ego, basic personality, and life purpose
- Determines one's zodiac sign (e.g., Aries, Taurus, Gemini, etc.)
- Reflects the conscious self and how one expresses themselves
Your sun sign is the most well-known aspect of your Astrology chart. It represents the essence of your being, your fundamental motivations, and your core personality traits. When people ask, "What's your sign?" they usually refer to your sun sign.
- Aries (March 21 - April 19)
- Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
- Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
- Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
- Leo (July 23 - August 22)
- Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
- Libra (September 23 - October 22)
- Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
- Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
- Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
- Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
- Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
For example, if your sun sign is Leo, you will likely exhibit traits associated with Leo, such as confidence, creativity, and a natural flair for leadership. Your sun sign is like the spotlight that shines on your outer self, revealing who you are to the world.
Astro expert Avalldar Astrology says, "For many people, the Sun will not necessarily be the most influential placement when it comes to romantic compatibility, precisely because we have entire charts that we need to look at in order to see all the dynamics at play between all the planets."
The Moon Sign
Key Characteristics:
- Represents one's emotional nature, instincts, and subconscious mind
- Governs emotional reactions, feelings, and inner desires
- Determines one's zodiac sign based on the Moon's position at birth
- Reflects the inner, emotional self and how one processes emotions
While the sun sign represents your conscious self, the moon sign delves into your emotional world. It provides insights into your innermost feelings, reactions, and instincts. Your moon sign influences how you respond emotionally to various situations and process your inner world.
For example, if your moon sign is Cancer, you may be deeply sensitive, nurturing, and strongly connected to your family. Your moon sign can reveal why you react emotionally in specific ways and what brings you emotional fulfillment.
The Rising Sign (Ascendant)
Key Characteristics:
- Represents the mask or persona you present to the world
- Governs your outward behavior, first impressions, and physical appearance
- Determines one's zodiac sign based on the position of the Ascendant at birth
- Reflects the way you interact with the world and your immediate environment
The rising sign, also known as the Ascendant, is the sign that was on the horizon at the exact time of your birth. It represents the image or facade you project to others, your first impression, and your approach to the world. It's often described as the "mask" you wear in public.
For instance, if your rising sign is Virgo, you may come across as organized, detail-oriented, and practical when you meet new people. Your rising sign influences your appearance and how you present yourself.
Cusp Signs and Compatibility
Now let’s explore more about cusp signs and what that means for your compatibility. Cusp signs occur when an individual's sun sign is near the beginning or end of a zodiac sign, resulting in a blend of characteristics from both signs. Think Cancer (June 21 - July 22) sign born right at the end of the zodiac date of July 22.
For example, if someone is born on March 21, their sun sign would be Aries, but they are on the cusp of Pisces and Aries because the zodiac sign changes from Pisces to Aries on or around March 20. As a result, cusp individuals often exhibit traits from both adjacent signs.
When it comes to cusp signs, compatibility can be as intricate as the sun, moon, and rising signs. A few things to consider when thinking about dating someone who is on the cusp are shared traits, open communication, and individual variability. Effective communication is vital in any relationship. Cusp individuals may benefit from openly discussing their unique blend of traits with potential partners to foster understanding and avoid misunderstandings.
What Makes Someone’s Zodiac Sign Compatible?
First, know there are so many different types of Astrology, and different astrologers use different combinations, formulas, and theories to draw their conclusions for compatibility. In general, zodiac sign compatibility is the idea that particular signs are naturally more compatible due to their shared traits, while others may clash.
However, one way to get a better sense of compatibility, at least outside of the zodiac signs, is by examining the elements (fire, earth, air, water), modality ( cardinal, fixed, mutable), and extensively, aspects (conjunctions, trine, squares, and sextiles extensively).
Sounds confusing? We know, so let us explain.
The Elements of the Zodiac: Fire, Earth, Air, and Water
There are four elements in Astrology: fire, earth, air, and water. Signs of the same element often share common characteristics and are more likely to get along.
While signs within the same element tend to have good compatibility, there can also be strong connections between signs from complementary elements. For example, fire and air signs often get along well due to their shared enthusiasm and communication skills. Similarly, earth and water signs can form deep emotional bonds.
Zodiac Compatibility in Sex and Friendship
Fire Signs: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
Characteristics and Qualities: Fire signs are known for their passion and energy while also being adventurous and impulsive.
Sex Compatibility: Due to that passion and energy, when two fire signs come together, their sexual connection can be intense and filled with excitement.
Friendship Compatibility: Their enthusiasm and energy will continue to drive the enjoyment of adventurous and dynamic friendships with fellow fire signs.
Earth Signs: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
Characteristics and Qualities: Earth signs are typically grounded and practical and are characterized as patient and reliable.
Sex Compatibility: Earth signs are sensual and grounded. They appreciate physical touch and connection. Physical intimacy tends to be fulfilling and harmonious in relationships between earth signs. A Taurus is focused on pleasure, and a Virgo is focused on pleasing, so this is a good match for both of them.
Friendship Compatibility: Earth signs value stability and practicality. They tend to form grounded and dependable friendships with other earth signs.
Air Signs: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius.
Characteristics and Qualities: Often described as intellectual, communicative, social, and flexible.
Sex Compatibility: Air signs are intellectually driven and enjoy mental stimulation. For them, communication is a key aspect of sexual compatibility. When two air signs connect, their mental rapport can enhance their sexual experiences.
Friendship Compatibility: Air signs are intellectually driven and enjoy stimulating conversations. They often have intellectually engaging friendships with fellow air signs
Water Signs: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces.
Characteristics and Qualities: Water signs are emotional, intuitive, empathetic, and sensitive.
Sex Compatibility: Water signs are emotional and intuitive. They seek deep emotional connections in their relationships, which can translate into profoundly satisfying sexual experiences when two water signs come together.
Friendship Compatibility: Water signs are emotional and intuitive. They tend to form deep and empathetic connections in their friendships with other water signs.
Quality aka Modalities
To take it a step further, let’s explore quality. Also known as modality, this refers to the mode of operation or the primary style of a zodiac sign. Each sign is categorized into one of three modalities: cardinal, fixed, or mutable, which describe the sign's general approach to life and how it interacts with the world.
- Cardinal Signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn): If your sign is cardinal, you're likely seen as a natural leader or initiator. You're often the person who starts projects, comes up with new ideas, and leads others towards a goal. You're dynamic and proactive but might need help with following through as you're always looking toward the next big thing.
- Fixed Signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius): Being a fixed sign means you're seen as stable, reliable, and persistent. You're the person who sees things through to the end, displaying remarkable resilience and determination. You excel in maintaining and nurturing projects or relationships but may sometimes be perceived as stubborn or resistant to change.
- Mutable Signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces): If you're a mutable sign, adaptability is your forte. You're flexible and versatile, able to adjust to new situations with ease. You're the person who can go with the flow and make the best out of changing circumstances. However, this can also mean you might find it hard to stick to decisions or be seen as inconsistent.
Aspects
Aspects in Astrology are about the angles formed between planets in your birth chart, reflecting the interactions between different parts of your personality. These aspects can be harmonious or challenging, shaping your character and life experiences.
- Conjunctions (0 degrees): When two planets align closely, their energies merge and intensify, creating a focal point of power or tension in a birth chart. This can be harmonious or challenging, depending on the planets involved.
- Squares (90 degrees): Representing challenges and obstacles, squares force us out of our comfort zone, propelling us towards growth through struggle and resistance. This also indicates challenges or internal conflicts and learning through overcoming obstacles.
- Trines (120 degrees): The trine is a flow of energy that brings ease and harmony, highlighting natural talents and facilitating effortless success in the areas affected. This aspect often reflects your talents or areas where you succeed with little effort.
Examples include Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius ( fire signs), as we mentioned above, so it comes as no surprise these signs are compatible.
- Sextiles (60 degrees): The aspect is when the planets are about two planets apart. This harmonious angle can be opportunities presenting chances for growth and learning. They require some effort to utilize but generally support your progress.
For example just to name a few, Aries sextiles Gemini and Aquarius. Taurus sextiles Cancer and Pisces. Gemini sextiles Aries and Leo. And Cancer sextiles Taurus and Virgo.
- Oppositions (180 degrees): Have you ever heard of the phrase opposites attract? Here, planets sit across from each other, creating a tug-of-war effect that can lead to tension but can also lead to significant personal growth through understanding opposing viewpoints. This aspect shows tension or conflicting interests, bringing out the need for balance and compromise.
Overall, understanding these concepts can offer a more nuanced view of your zodiac sign, revealing strengths, weaknesses, and potential growth areas. It can help you understand why you might gravitate towards certain behaviors or patterns in life and how you can use this knowledge for personal development and better relationships with others.
Planets That Help Shape Zodiac Sign Compatibility
So, what do the planets have to do with compatibility among zodiac signs? As we mentioned, a harmonious aspect (like a trine or sextile) between these planets in two individuals' birth charts can indicate strong compatibility, while challenging aspects (like squares or oppositions) might point to areas of growth, tension, or conflict.
The Sun - the very essence of our being. In relationships, it reflects our basic personality, our ego, and our core identity. When sun signs are compatible, it often indicates a natural understanding and appreciation of each other's fundamental nature, a key ingredient for lasting connections.
Sign it governs: Leo
The Moon - the realm of emotions, instincts, and the subconscious. Moon sign compatibility delves deeper, beyond the surface level of interactions, touching the heart of our emotional needs and nurturing instincts. A harmonious moon sign connection can mean a deeply satisfying emotional rapport and understanding, a feeling of "coming home" when you're with your partner.
Sign it governs: Cancer
Mercury - the planet of communication. Mercury’s influence dictates how we think and communicate, which is essential in understanding and resolving conflicts in relationships. Compatible Mercury signs often find a natural flow in conversation, understanding each other's thought processes and perspectives with ease.
Sign it governs: Gemini and Virgo
Venus - the goddess of love and beauty, representing how we express love and what we seek in relationships. Venus sign compatibility is a key player in romantic attraction and shared values in love, dictating the harmony in how love is given and received.
Signs it governs: Taurus and Libra
Mars - the planet of action and desire. Mars influences our drive, our passions, and, yes, our sexual energy. Compatible Mars signs can lead to a fiery and dynamic connection, full of passion and vitality.
Sign it governs: Aries
Jupiter - the planet of luck and expansion. Jupiter's influence in a relationship can signify growth, optimism, and a sense of adventure, bringing a joyous and expanding quality to the bond.
Sign it governs: Sagittarius
Saturn - the teacher, representing discipline, responsibility, and long-term commitments. Saturn's role in compatibility is often about the durability and seriousness of the relationship, ensuring that the bond is not just fleeting passion but has the strength to endure challenges.
Sign it governs: Capricorn
The Most Compatible Zodiac Signs
1. Leo and Libra
When Leo and Libra are together, they are almost always the center of attention! With Leo being ruled by the Sun, they know how to satisfy the Libra's desire to be appreciated and reassured. With Libra being ruled by Venus, they know how to shower Leo with the love and attention that they deserve. Both Leo and Libra know how to bring out each other's true star power and help each other grow into their best selves.
2. Scorpio and Pisces
The watery pair of Scorpio and Pisces just instantly understand each other. Although not many others can match Scorpio's intense and passionate energy, Pisces is almost always up for the task! These two are able to be truly vulnerable with each other and appreciate the depth of their connection. Pisces' intuitive side always knows how to break through Scorpio's barriers and immediately knows how to comfort them. Scorpio challenges Pisces to take a walk on the wild side; Pisces encourages Scorpio to be themselves.
3. Aquarius and Sagittarius
Aquarius and Sagittarius never have a dull moment with each other! Sagittarians are always in pursuit of knowledge and live for adventure. Aquarians love to discover the most unique subjects and are always down for a good debate. This pair knows how to mentally stimulate each other. Although they both value their independence, they know how to effectively divide and conquer. They both enjoy learning from each other and helping each other explore new territories.
4. Taurus and Cancer
With Cancer's protective nature and Taurus' romantic tendencies, these two are one of the most loving couples ever! Tauruses help Cancers to ground themselves and provide them with the comfort and stability that they crave. Cancers help Tauruses get comfortable with expressing their emotional sides and make them feel appreciated. This couple is the epitome of the phrase, "Home is where the heart is." They truly understand how to make the other feel at peace and how to cater to each other's love languages.
5. Virgo and Capricorn
Virgo and Capricorn are the power couple of the zodiac! These two earth signs know how to get things done when they are together and can truly motivate each other. They both want to see each other win and will supply each other with the encouragement that they need. Virgo and Capricorn almost instantly bond over their witty sense of humor and their intellect. Virgo shows Capricorn how to appreciate the small things in life; Capricorn shows Virgo how to see the bigger picture from a new perspective.
6. Aries and Gemini
When Aries and Gemini are together, the conversation almost never stops! These two know how to keep things going and will always be the life of the party. The passion between these two signs is almost unmatched! Aries knows how to perfectly capture Gemini's attention and keep the relationship fresh. The Gemini values all of the Aries' complexities and knows exactly how to keep their fire alive. Gemini teaches Aries that life does not have to always be so serious. Even as a couple, these two are genuinely the best of friends!
Love Matches by Each Sun Sign
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Best Matches: Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini
Good Matches: Aquarius, Libra
Read More: Aries Woman And Aquarius Man Love Compatibility
Read More: The Love Compatibility Of A Libra Woman And An Aries Man
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Best Matches: Virgo, Capricorn, Cancer
Good Matches: Pisces, Scorpio
Read More: Pisces Woman And Taurus Man Love Compatibility
Read More: Watch This Taurus & Capricorn Love Match Put Their Relationship To The Compatibility Test
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Best Matches: Libra, Aquarius, Aries
Good Matches: Leo, Sagittarius
Read More: Gemini Woman And Leo Man Love Compatibility
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Best Matches: Scorpio, Pisces, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Read More: Cancer Woman And Virgo Man Love Compatibility
Read More: Cancer Man And Libra Woman Love Compatibility
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Best Matches: Aries, Sagittarius, Gemini
Good Matches: Libra, Aquarius
Read More: Leo Woman And Capricorn Man Love Compatibility
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Best Matches: Taurus, Capricorn, Cancer
Good Matches: Scorpio, Pisces
Read More: The Love Compatibility Of A Virgo Woman And Scorpio Man
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Best Matches: Gemini, Aquarius, Leo
Good Matches: Aries, Sagittarius
Read More: Pisces Woman And Libra Man Love Compatibility
Read More: Libra Man And Cancer Woman Love Compatibility
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Best Matches: Cancer, Pisces, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Read More: Scorpio Woman And Aries Man Love Compatibility
Read More: The Love Compatibility Between A Scorpio Woman And A Cancer Man
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Best Matches: Aries, Leo, Gemini
Good Matches: Libra, Aquarius
Read More: The Love Compatibility Between A Sagittarius Woman And Leo Man
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Best Matches: Taurus, Virgo, Cancer
Good Matches: Scorpio, Pisces
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Best Matches: Gemini, Libra, Aries
Good Matches: Leo, Sagittarius
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Best Matches: Cancer, Scorpio, Taurus
Good Matches: Virgo, Capricorn
Least Compatible Zodiac Signs
So you’ve read all about how you should analyze which zodiac sign is the most compatible for you. But what about signs you should avoid? For these, not only do the zodiacs come into play, but also the elements and modalities of each. Here are the least compatible zodiac signs.
1. Sagittarius and Taurus
Sagittarius and Taurus incompatibility is more obvious than most matches on this list. Sagittarius wants to be on a plane, and Taurus wants to be at home. Taurus wants tangible results, and Sagittarius finds happiness in exploring the mind and different ideals. This pairing isn’t the most compatible because they both want very different things in life, not to mention they are always at a different pace.
2. Scorpio and Gemini
Scorpio and Gemini together create chaos. Although they have a lot of fun together, this pairing is better off seen in a working environment, rather than a romantic one. The thing about Scorpio and Gemini is that they don’t get each other. It’s hard to understand where the other person is coming from, which often leads to miscommunication and hurt feelings between them.
3. Aquarius and Cancer
Aquarius and Cancer rarely get involved romantically together, as this pairing does better in a friendship than a relationship. Cancer can seem like too much for aloof Aquarius, and Aquarius can be too in their head for Cancer’s heart-centered, emotional energy. Cancer tends to be intrigued by Aquarius. However, the relationship is usually one-sided. Cancer will often feel like they are giving their all, but that is never enough for Aquarius, who may acknowledge Cancer’s efforts, but at the end of the day, it’s not what Aquarius needs to feel fulfilled romantically.
4. Capricorn and Leo
Capricorn and Leo have too many power struggles and ego conflicts in order to make the relationship peaceful and positive. Disagreements often arise within this partnership, and they have to work especially hard for the relationship to progress and grow. The thing about this couple is that Leo wants to be adored and cherished, and Capricorn isn’t about the theatrics.
Capricorn likes to take things slow and gradually evolve as a couple, whereas if Leo isn’t getting everything they need right away, they will feel let down and unloved. In order for this partnership to work, there needs to be compromise and honesty about what is expected within the relationship.
5. Libra and Virgo
Now, this pairing is on the list of least compatible because they are constantly questioning where each other stands and are rarely on the same page. This isn’t a complete disaster for a relationship, but it’s definitely not the top recommended either. The thing about Libra is that they don’t really get Virgo and Virgo’s meticulous thought process. Virgo feels the same way about Libra and thinks they spend too much time on things that aren’t as important to Virgo.
Communication can be good here as they are both more mentally active signs. However, Libra tends to be someone that Virgo never seems to fully grasp. They are both nurturing individuals, but in a relationship, they tend to feel like they aren’t getting what they need.
Opposite Signs and Compatibility aka Sister Signs
Ever wondered why you are attracted to someone completely opposite then you? This can be explained by the term sister signs. A sister sign is the zodiac sign located in the exact opposite position of your sign on the zodiac wheel. The relationship between opposite signs can be either soulmate energy or very challenging if both parties aren’t willing to look at their reflection and learn from each other.
Evheniia Vasylenko
The sister signs in Astrology are:
- Aries and Libra
- Taurus and Scorpio
- Gemini and Sagittarius
- Cancer and Capricorn
- Leo and Aquarius
- Virgo and Pisces
For example, with a Gemini, this pairing is all about having fun and expressing themselves. Gemini and Sagittarius, in many other pairings, often feel misunderstood, but these two match energy. Being both explorers of life, Gemini’s inner curiosity and Sagittarius’ need to know more make for not only good conversation but exciting experiences together as well.
Is An “Incompatible” Relationship Based on Zodiac Signs Doomed?
It's a myth that certain zodiac signs are destined to be incompatible. While your natal chart might reveal challenging dynamics, it doesn't dictate the success or failure of a relationship. Instead, it provides insights into areas where you might need to exert more effort or make adaptations. Understanding this can help you navigate relationships more effectively, regardless of astrological compatibility.
Rather than viewing your chart solely for compatibility, use it as a tool for deeper self-understanding. Focusing on planets like Venus, Jupiter, or the Moon can reveal key aspects of how you seek emotional comfort and express love.
For instance, the Moon's placement can indicate your emotional needs and comforts, while Venus may reveal how you prefer to give and receive love. Jupiter, on the other hand, sheds light on the ways you feel most comfortable in providing for your partner. Recognizing these aspects can help couples understand their values and find common ground.
Conclusion
While astrology can provide valuable insights into potential compatibility, it's essential to remember that real relationships are complex and multifaceted. Finding your cosmic match is not solely determined by your zodiac sign but by shared values, communication, and understanding. Embrace the uniqueness of your relationships, and let the stars be a guiding light rather than a strict rule.
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AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
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TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
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GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
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CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
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LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Oh, but there are plenty of people whose egos have them thinking that they can read someone else’s mind. Then there are others who have fantasies, which create unrealistic expectations that others in their lives actually should read their mind. And you know what — both of these things can cause unnecessary stress, drama, and trauma, if folks aren’t careful.
And that’s why I think it’s important that we unpack this a bit more. Because if you’re someone who thinks that if another person truly cares for you, they should be able to read your mind, it’s time to let that ridiculous yet semi-popular notion absolutely and completely go.
Here’s why.
It’s Scientifically Impossible for Someone to Read Your Mind
There are a couple of reasons why I am starting this off with R&B singer Avant. For one thing, I don’t think that he gets nearly enough flowers and secondly, clearly, this is a more-than-fitting song for today’s topic, wouldn’t you say? Because, lawd, there really is something that makes some of us feel all warm ‘n fuzzy about the mere thought of a man telling us that he is so in tuned with us that he can basically read our mind.
Hmph. Problem with that is, as I said in the intro, it is scientifically impossible (for us and for AI to do, praise the Lord!). And yet the fact that so many individuals think that they defy scientific data and research is oftentimes why there are so many breakdowns in communication — because if you run on assumption (that you can read someone’s mind) without clarification and confirmation, you can create issues that didn’t exist before you decided to fall for your own mind-reading theories.
Now to be fair, while science is still trying to figure out why we can’t read minds, what is sure is that we do have the capability to perceive the thoughts and actions of others if we’re willing to pay really close attention. However, do keep in mind that reading and perceiving are different. Reading? It’s about being able "to apprehend or interpret the meaning of" and "to anticipate, expect, or calculate by observation." Perceiving? It’s all about “to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses” and “to recognize, discern, envision, or understand.”
And already, do you see the differences? So much certainty comes with reading while perceiving is about humbling oneself (bookmark that) to not try to know everything but instead to try and understand what is transpiring. And since no one person (or their mind) is ever truly static, that is a huge part of the reason why believing that you can read someone’s mind — no matter how close you may be to them — is futile. You can change your mind on a dime. Others can do the same. Learning to perceive what is going on instead of assuming that you can “read” folks is far more beneficial.
Besides, you might be surprised by a particular demo who thinks that if you are truly who they need you to be, you will read their minds — and boy, once you know who they are, that may cure you of the whole “read your mind” ish…quick, fast and in a hurry.
The Expectation Is Oftentimes Rooted in Egomania
GiphyWhile doing a bit of research on this topic, I thought it was interesting that a particular type of person kept coming up. Can you guess which one? A NARCISSIST. What I kept noticing is a telling sign of a narcissistic individual is they expect others to read their mind.
I must admit that I was caught off guard by that at first because narcissists and their damn egos are so out of control (bookmark that) that it would seem like they would be more focused on acting like they know the thoughts of other people. Here’s the thing, though — the reason why narcissists want others to read their mind is because they want you to do things like guess what they want and need before they ask — and they want that to happen because they believe that they are so damn special that you should put in the extra blood, sweat and tears to figure it all out. Hmph. Now that tracks.
Another reason why narcissists want you to be able to read their mind is so they can manipulate and deflect. Meaning, if you say and do things based on what you thought they wanted you to, should everything crash and burn, they can dodge accountability and blame you for it. Hmm, does reading someone’s mind seem romantic and beautiful now? SMDH.
And again, all of this is tied to ego because, at the end of the day, mind-reading is a form of control and narcissists are definitely very controlling people. And honestly, mind-reading is as well because why do you even want to know someone’s private thoughts before they share them and, at the same time, why would you want someone to have that kind of power in your life either? “Eww” is what immediately comes to my mind. “Yuck” is what follows.
So, why is it that so many people think that it’s a good thing to have someone read their mind — I mean, the ones who don’t show narcissistic tendencies, that is? Good question.
5 Reasons Why Some People Wish Someone Would/Could Read Their Mind
GiphyOkay, so ego and pridefulness aside, what would be some other reasons why people think that it’s such a wonderful thing if someone who they are in some sort of intimate relationship with can read their mind.
1. They are caught up in Disney and rom-coms. One day, I am going to do an article on all of the ways that Disney and rom-coms have destroyed the reality of relationships. For now, I’ll just say that the scripted tales of both have caused a lot of people to think that if someone loves them, they should be able to read their mind. Nooo…if someone loves you, they should care to know what is on your mind. And that brings me to the second point.
2. They aren’t as good at communicating as they think. Are you a good communicator? One way to know if you are is you’re able to clearly articulate your wants and needs — because really, if you are able to do that, why should anyone even need to read your mind? Feel me? Let’s move on.
3. They want someone else to work harder at their relationships than they do. I say it in my sessions often — it’s beyond crazy to think that someone should work harder at figuring out what your wants, needs and expectations are than you are willing to express them. Hmph. It makes me think of a friend of mine who says that “should” is a dangerous word. What she means by that is saying that someone should do or not do something simply because YOU THINK that’s how it “should” go is a surefire way to stay disappointed and even be disillusioned. No, your man shouldn’t just know what you want every year for your birthday. Did you state it? If not, why aren’t you playing fair? Who has time for all of the guessing games and then getting penalized if they guess wrong? Stop it.
4. They think it’s the sign of a healthy relationship (it isn’t). Anyone who knows me knows that I am always and forever going to be Team Healthy over Team Happy and my reason why never changes. Only children expect to live in a world where they are happy all of the time — and yes, there are a lot of childish people out here. People who want their mind read? They tend to live in happy land. Meanwhile, a healthy relationship knows that clear communication, mutual respect, keen listening, patience and understanding that humans make mistakes are foundational to its success.
5. They are lazy. And yes y’all, some people want others to read their mind because they are lazy and it really is just as simple as that. Thing is, while they are being passive aggressive, dropping hints or giving the silent treatment so that you can figure out whatever it is that they…want you to figure out, that tends to take more effort than simply speaking up. Ridiculous, chile.
How to Let the Myth Go
GiphyGee, after reading all of this, suddenly reading minds just seems like a lot of silliness with a sprinkle of drama and potential trauma, doesn’t it? And it’s all because some people choose to treat something that is a myth like it’s a bona fide fact. SMDH.
And what if you happen to be one of those individuals? How do you break free? COMMUNICATE. Openly, clearly and maturely share what’s on your mind and heart because, the true tell of a solid relationship isn’t that someone can read your mind; it’s that they can retain what you’ve already stated.
Less reading. More perceiving. That’s the secret sauce.
And when you accept this for what it is, you will realize that it’s far better for you, your partner and your relationship to stop expecting the impossible and to accept what is actual: that learning your partner, as they strive to do the same thing with you, is better than you both assuming that you know what…maybe you do, maybe you don’t.
___
Author Frank Sonnenberg once said, “People can’t hear what you don’t say. Thinking isn’t communicating” — and I think this is a perfect place to bring all of this to a close.
Find the kind of relationship(s) where intention is so strong that mind-reading isn’t even desired.
At the end of the day, it really is as simple as that.
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