This Is What Self-Care Looks Like For BET Breaks Host Jamila Mustafa
In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
Now more than ever, the emergence of Black media talent is thriving. We're seeing people on and off the red carpet, in front of and behind the cameras, and creating an atmosphere of inclusivity for all to see.
Jamila Mustafa is no different. She is the epitome of hard work, tenacity, and hustle, only teaching other media personalities what it takes to work hard and in the moment. The award-winning broadcast journalist has done a bit of it all: interviews, appearances, speaking engagements, red carpet coverage, and more.
But one thing about working in media is that the burnout is REAL. So how do you juggle a 24/7 media cycle, a personal life, and your sanity? In this installment of the Finding Balance series, Mustafa chatted with xoNecole on finding the balance in her life and what "balance" looks like for her.
When you have a busy week, what's the most hectic part of it?
Everyday, haha. I wake up at about 4-5 a.m. each morning. I head to set to shoot BET Breaks after a night of researching, writing, editing, and requesting photos for each news story. After that, I may have an interview, another hosting gig, audition, or call back, and some days, I will have all four in one day. Also, I travel a lot to host or cover events, which is fun, but it can get hectic depending on the type of event. In the midst of that, I am currently traveling across the country, on two HBCU speaking tours to help raise and give scholarship money to students, one of them I launched called 'From HBCU to Hollywood'.
Wow, you are always on the go! Do you practice self-care?
Sheesh! I still struggle with that. My sleep pattern is off because I'm a workaholic. Also, I don't eat three times a day, maybe something small early and a big lunch/dinner...maybe. Despite those poor self-care habits, I try to take power naps to rejuvenate my mental, and pack little healthy snacks to munch on throughout the day if I feel my energy is getting low.
No question about it, I am a people person, however, those "Mila Moments" are my favorite. I am a foodie, so I love picking a new restaurant and going there with a book or notepad to eat, write, and relax. I love a little retail therapy, kicking it with my loved ones, and watching movies. It's great being the plug, but sometimes you gotta take yourself out of the socket to cool down so you don't burn out, you know.
"It's great being the plug, but sometimes you gotta take yourself out of th socket to cool down so you don't burn out."
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
Need them. They are my balance. I love having people that can give me a certain positive vibe around. I exert so much energy that it's refreshing just to be around people and not feel the need to do anything. I mean anything. So much so, my friends call me lazy and I'm far from lazy, but around them "less is more" in my opinion.
Love/Relationships?
I believe we can find real love at this age, however, we must always love ourselves more, realizing we are still growing and changing. If it's true, it will be there.
Exercise? Does it happen?
I'm like Angela Bassett after What's Love Got To Do With It. Muscles are a part of my body makeup, even if I'm not working out. I started Martial Arts at the age of 3, my father was a Grand Master, and I became a National Champion by the age of 11. I also, danced, swam, ran track, played basketball. Anything athletic, really. Nowadays, I try to hit the gym weekly and walk a lot in NYC so I can get some exercise.
What is your beauty routine?
I have sensitive skin, so I can't be too adventurous with new products. However, growing up my mom ALWAYS cared about her skin, she wasn't really the make-up type, so that trait rubbed off on me. Now, I'm into texture, tone, and elasticity in the skin.
Do you cook or find yourself eating out?
Ugh! I have to eat better. I love hot wings, ribs, steak, salmon, sushi. I am not a cook, although I can whip up a few meals and that's definitely something I want to dive more into.
Do you ever detox? What does that look like for you?
Physically, I cut back on certain foods and I drink lots of lemon water. Mentally, less action, less communication, and more meditation.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
I pray. Have a conversation with the man above and ask Him to keep me still so I can hear my next move. I talk to my mom and sometimes look to my inspirations for encouragement.
What does success mean to you?
Success is being able to make a sustainable life for yourself doing what you love to do and impacting others.
What is something you think others forget when it comes to finding balance?
Something others forget when it comes to finding balance is that you're always finding it — that's why it's called balance. It's not something that you find one time, for one period in your life, and you are all good. No. As humans, we are in constant search for balance and it's our job to secure that level in our lives.
"As humans, we are in constant search for balance and it's our job to secure that level in our lives."
For more Jamila, follow her on Instagram.
Want more reads like this? Check out the xoNecole stories below:
Badass Boss Karleen Roy On How She Balances SoulCycle With Planning Parties For Cardi B & Migos
Renae Bluitt On How She Masters Work/Life Balance
Finding Balance: Vanessa Simmons On Juggling Being A Wife, Mother & Entrepreneur
Spiked Spin Founder Brianna Owens On How She Balances 18-Hour Workdays & Cycling
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Stress Awareness Month: Sneaky Workplace Triggers Affecting Black Women, And How To Cope
We all know about the major stress triggers of everyday life, from relationship woes to monthly bills to unexpected emergencies, but there are small, subtle triggers that impact Black women in a big way, especially when it comes to work. It’s good to be aware of these sneaky stressors in order to maximize your day and find ways to incorporate solutions into your self-care routines.
Since it’s Stress Awareness Month, we caught up with Keanne Owens, LCSW, founder of Journey To Harmony Therapy Center, to talk about these triggers and what Black women can do to manage and cope.
Owens is an experienced South Florida-based counselor and social worker who offers her services via Grow Therapy, a therapy and medication management platform. She has worked with Black women professionals to unpack issues related to workplace stressors. “One is the pressure to perform–having to meet deadlines and deliverables. And a lot of times, these subtle stressors from performance are put upon ourselves as Black women. We want to make sure we’re doing our best. We don’t want to be critiqued in certain ways.”
Excessive micromanagement leading to fear of overly critical bosses is another subtle trigger that can negatively impact Black women in the workplace.
“Whenever something is done wrong, or we experience some type of injustice and have to report it, it’s the fear of retaliation–[fear that] we won’t be taken seriously or [our words] will be taken out of context because of being deemed as the ‘angry Black woman,’” she said.
Black Women And Workplace Stress Triggers
Her sentiments are backed by research. A recent report by Coqual found that 28% of Black women (compared to 17% of White men) say their supervisor uses “excessive control or attention to detail” when managing them. There’s more: A survey by the National Employment Law Project found that Black workers were “more likely to have concerns (80 percent) and twice as likely as white workers (18 percent) to have unresolved concerns at work, with 39 percent reporting they were “not satisfied with the employer’s response or did not raise concerns for fear of retaliation.”
The survey also found that 14 percent of Black respondents said they “avoided raising concerns to their employer for fear of retaliation—more than twice the average rate of 6 percent for all survey respondents.”
Owens pointed to the fact that these subtle stress triggers can negatively impact our physical health and our career advancement. “A lot of time it’ll affect our productivity,” Owens added. “We start to have negative thoughts of ourselves. The stressors can also cause fatigue. We’re no longer meeting or working up to our desired potential.” Other challenges as a result include insomnia and increased insolation, withdrawal, and lack of motivation to apply for jobs or promotions even when qualified.
valentinrussanov/Getty Images
How To Manage Subtle Stress Triggers
While there are systemic issues at play for Black women at work that has less to do with us and more to do with major overhauls that must be addressed by the powers that be, there are steps we can take for the betterment of ourselves and our mental health. Owens offered the following tips:
Tap into a support system, whether it’s a coworker you trust, a family member, an organization, or an outlet like a hobby.
Create a good work-life balance before burnout even starts. “Having certain boundaries [is the goal] such as, for example, if you get off at 5, you get off at 5. If your job description is this, you don’t go above and beyond because that brings you to a lot of burnout,” Owens said.
Prioritize self-care, whatever that means for you. “If you don’t have a routine, create one. Practice mindfulness and even some meditation,” she added.
Create structure in your life outside of work. “Even if you have a family, applying some structure in your routine helps relieve stress,” she said.
Get into grounding techniques. “Do a real quick square breathing exercise, that’s literally 30 seconds, or you can do a grounding technique that’s less than two minutes, right there where you are. You don’t need any other materials. That’s something you can do with just yourself and your body.”
Ask for help. “As Black women, we don’t ask for help enough,” she said. “Find where you need to ask for help. A lot of times, people think that’s indicative of weakness, but we need to rewrite that narrative. It’s okay to ask for help where you see fit. [If] you’re a mom, [it could be] every Wednesday from 5 to 6, your children are with the dad. You have to carve out that time.”
For more information on Grow Therapy, visit their website. You can also find out more about Keanne Owens, LCSW, via BeginYourJourneyToHarmony.com.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Charday Penn/Getty Images