Every couple of months, Mercury, the planet of communication, transportation, ideas, and possibilities, goes retrograde. This year, Mercury will be making its summer debut on August 23rd. What makes this Mercury retrograde a unique one is that it's occurring in Virgo, whose ruling planet is Mercury. This is good news, as you’ll be able to move through this Mercury retrograde more effectively and can more easily gain the wisdom needed.
This Mercury Retrograde also begins on the first day of Virgo Season, solidifying a theme of healing the mind, getting organized, and allowing things to come together. As summer comes to an end and the leaves begin to change, Mercury retrograde asks, “Where can you let go and accept, and where has your faith led you to create a better future for yourself?”
Virgo is an earth sign that teaches us that our mind is our gift and our compassion is what serves. Virgo is a helpful hand in the storm, yet, this maiden’s approach can sometimes have a harsh delivery under challenging circumstances. Mercury in Virgo is especially meticulous, and with this Mercury retrograde occurring here, it’s easy to get overwhelmed or turn to over-criticism towards self or others.
Communication should be handled with some extra patience and grace, plans should be looked over thoroughly before execution, and it’s best to handle anything of permanence for another time. As you move through this Mercury retro amid Virgo Season, do as the Virgos do: your best. Mercury goes direct on September 15th, and through the inner awakening this transit has brought, by the end of it, the growth is clear.
What Mercury Retrograde Has In Store For Each Zodiac Sign
ARIES
Aries, Mercury retrograde for you will be all about approaching your health and daily routines in a new way. Mercury will be retrograde in an area of your chart having to do with work, well-being, habits, daily life, and attention to detail. This is a good time to learn a new skill, develop your talents, and work passionately on something that inspires you. Your everyday routine, working environment, or schedule may be experiencing some challenges or delays, and being flexible is key to making it through this time.
Once Mercury goes direct on September 15th, you are going to start seeing more improvements at work, forward movement with projects, and overall more balance with your peers and within your everyday life. This Mercury retrograde is here to help you find new ways to de-stress, refocus your intentions, and create a better strategy.
TAURUS
This Mercury retrograde for you, Taurus, is a journey of the heart. Mercury will be going retrograde in your 5th house of romance, creativity, passion, self-expression, and happiness over the next few weeks, and you are finding your voice. Any limitations you have been feeling creatively and romantically come up at this time to be reviewed, healed, and addressed. You may be feeling less optimistic than usual during this transit, and your guidance at this time is to start with doing the small things that make you happy and then go from there.
During this time, you are reviewing where the happiness is in your life and if you’ve been prioritizing this enough for yourself. Once Mercury goes direct, you will have a better understanding of what lights you up inside and how you want to show up in the world, making it easier to be in those spaces.
GEMINI
mapodile/ Getty Images
This Mercury retrograde is a good time to get back to the basics, Gemini. You are taking a look at your foundations and taking note of where you want to continue to grow your roots in life. Your emotional well-being and stability are the priority right now as you redevelop your safe spaces and focus on your inner world.
Some misunderstandings with family or close loved ones may arise, but you are getting a clear view of how you’ve been feeling when it comes to the past, your roots, emotional patternings, and what’s going on internally. This is a good time to declutter, create space, finish a home project, or bring peace into the home. This Mercury retrograde for you is about regrouping and gaining stronger foundations.
CANCER
This Mercury retrograde for you is about overcoming previous communication challenges, getting the answers you have been looking for, and seeing what has been blocking you from feeling heard, Cancer. Miscommunications with others are likely, but they will be creating a breakthrough for honesty and transparency overall and, in turn, build your connections.
This Mercury retrograde transit is requiring more patience than most, and short travels, contracts, transportation, and emails should all be looked over a few times. You could feel like your natural flow in the day is hindered more than usual during this time, and you are reworking your daily systems and prioritizing what is really worth your energy right now. Prioritize what matters, and follow the sparks of inspiration right now.
LEO
Mercury retrograde is here, and for you, it’s affecting an area of your life, having to do with income, finances, value systems, and self-confidence, Leo. This is a good time to plan financially for your future and to avoid making any unnecessary or extravagant purchases if possible, as you may change your mind about them later.
Some unexpected occurrences may be happening within your financial world at this time. However, you are getting the opportunity to create a new beneficial system for yourself here in the long term. You are overall focusing more on the giving and receiving in your life during this time and finding your balance here, Leo.
VIRGO
The Good Brigade/ Getty Images
This Mercury retrograde cycle will be in your sign and in your 1st house of self. Over the next few weeks, you will be reflecting on the personal changes you have gone through over the last year, both mentally and physically, and how you see yourself now. This transit for you is a time to honor your growth and development and focus on seeing yourself in a new, more favorable, and accepting light.
A lot of different aspects of your life will be influenced during this Mercury retrograde since it’s occurring in your 1st house at the very top of your chart, but it’s overall about being consistent with your personal growth journey and about getting your ducks in a row. You will be leaving this retrograde feeling an overall greater self-confidence and like your path ahead is clearer with fewer obstacles, Virgo.
LIBRA
Over the next few weeks, Mercury retrograde will be transiting your house of endings, culminations, the subconscious mind, and healing. While Mercury moves through this area of your chart, your past may be coming up for you a lot now. However, this is not a pass to entertain it. The past seems to come up more for you now than it has been, so you can re-examine some lessons you may have missed there and give yourself another opportunity to heal, forgive, and let go.
For you, self-care, rest, and emotional rejuvenation should be the priority, and you are overall getting the space to regroup. Remember that you don’t necessarily need to isolate yourself to find yourself and maintain your balance in life, Libra.
SCORPIO
Scorpio, Mercury retrograde will be moving through your 11th house of friendship, community, hopes, and dreams. This Mercury retrograde is allowing you to re-think some of your long-term goals to see if they still resonate for you now. You are finding your place in the world during this time and are aligning with your happiness and aspirations.
There could be some miscommunication within friendships and social networks, however, as you redefine how you want to use your voice and who you want to connect with in the process. Past goals, future goals, and the progress of them all come up for review, and you are opening yourself up to the possibilities of your life and what intentions you want to manifest.
SAGITTARIUS
Morsa Images/ Getty Images
Mercury retrograde is here, and for you, Sagittarius it is influencing your career, professional life, and reputation. How you are feeling about your goals, your achievements, and where you are in regards to your career take focus during this time, and you are re-examining your path here. Know the support will come, as it always does, but there is something to understand about showing up for yourself regardless of who is standing behind you.
Your guidance for this transit is to honor your skills and talents, be willing to learn more and continue to believe you are worthy of blessings and recognition. Feelings of not being understood or appreciated for the work you are doing can come up for you during this time, and you are seeking some stability and assurance in your career right now.
CAPRICORN
Capricorn, this Mercury retrograde will be occurring in your 9th house of adventure, travel, education, and spirituality, and there is a sense of needing some more downtime to reflect and understand what your inner world has been telling you during this time. Plans change, paths detour, and you are reviewing your belief systems with a closer eye right now.
Overall, over the next few weeks, you will be searching for a new way forward and gaining the bigger picture. Through the experiences you’ve encountered so far this year, a new perspective has been born, and you are looking at your truths right now. This Mercury retrograde is showing you how important it is to have faith in yourself and your life.
AQUARIUS
Over the next few weeks, Aquarius, Mercury retrograde will be moving through your 8th house of intimacy, shared finances, rebirth, and all things taboo. Mercury will be bringing the focus on where your energy- especially financial energy, has been spent. and if it’s benefiting you and your self-empowerment in life. You are going through a time of transformation and transition, and you are addressing where this change has been needed. It’s about asking for what you need within your close partnerships, commitments, and within your financial world; and knowing that you deserve just that.
Once Mercury goes direct on September 15th, you are going to feel more clarity and empowerment in your life, and like you have overall cleared the way for more blessings to enter, both financially and emotionally.
PISCES
Mercury retrograde will be moving through your 7th house of love, partnership, beauty, and finances, and there could be some miscommunication within your partnerships at times during this transit, Pisces. Your relationships are a mirror to you right now, and it can be difficult to see some emotional patterning or habits that are straining your one-on-one connections rather than strengthening them.
It’s time to let the past go in love and redefine what your heart wants now. Overall, the relationships that are meant for you will only grow further into a deeper commitment and understanding through this transit; and those that aren’t will make it clearer to you that this is the case. Choose your battles wisely, and focus on love.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by LaylaBird/ Getty Images
Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
Getty Images
Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
Getty Images
1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
Getty Images
So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by FOTOGRAFIA, INC./Getty Images
