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This Is The Way To Properly Care For Your Hair While Rockin' A Wig
One day, while peeking into the social media world to see what was going on, I was tickled when I saw a sistah post a brief exchange between her and her cat.
Disrespect! https://t.co/f9v4qXUMyp— EsmirElle (@EsmirElle) 1596832902
After I chuckled, it crossed my mind that while a lot of us do indeed rock wigs, we hadn't done an article on how to care for our natural hair while wearing one. Because whether you wear a wig like an accessory to your outfit, to grow your own hair out, or for any other reason, those fly looks are going to work against you if you're not making sure that your hair and scalp are handled with extreme care while you've got them on.
Now let me just give a heads up that, if you are a true wig connoisseur, then you already know that a topic like this really does deserve its own series. So, please just look at this as a CliffsNotes version; something that can, at least make you feel sure that, whenever you put a wig on, you can be confident that your hair is doing just fine until you take it back off again. And with that being said, let's get into the 10 tips that I've got, shall we?
Choose a Quality Wig
Before even getting how to take care of your natural hair, it's important that you put a quality wig on top of your head to begin with. As far as human hair wigs go, they do tend to look extremely natural however, they can also run you a few hundred dollars (at least). If money is tight, there are some synthetic ones that are much cheaper and are pretty impressive on the appearance tip too. If you opt for a monofilament wig, they really do look like the hair from your wig is literally growing from your scalp while a hand-tied is less dense and also look more natural than machine-wefted or stitched wigs. Just make sure to keep in mind that the less money you spend on a synthetic wig, the less likely you'll be able to use heat styling tools (because they will melt the hair). Also, please avoid wigs that have that crescent moon type of hairline; the more natural the hairline the better.
If you opt to go to an actual beauty supply store, the customer service agents there should be able to assist you with finding a wig that best fits your hair and personal style. But if you'd prefer to order a wig online, there are plenty of naturalista pros out in YouTube world who can totally help you out. Some videos worth checking out are located here, here, here, here and here.
(Oh, and if you're looking for some real-looking affordable wigs, check out these videos here, here and here.)
Wash Your Hair and Scalp Regularly
What if you had a hat on, all day, every day, for days or weeks on end? Wouldn't that make you want to wash your hair on a consistent basis? This is the mindset you need to have when it comes to how to care for your hair and scalp when you're constantly wearing a wig. Because it's natural for your scalp to sweat when you're wearing a wig, not only can that lead to clogged hair follicles, but the dampness can also lead to your hair and wig not smelling very great. Plus, bacteria can start to form too. This is why, words cannot express enough, that it's super important to shampoo your hair and scalp, no less than every 10-14 days.
Also, while we're here, what's the point in keeping your hair and scalp clean if your wig is gonna be nasty? Isn't that a lot like putting dirty underwear on a clean body? Exactly. So, when it comes to how often your wig needs to be washed, every 30 wears or 4-6 weeks is a pretty steadfast rule.
You can wash a human hair wig with regular shampoo but a synthetic one? Eh. Either go with a synthetic shampoo or even a fabric softener like Downy. For tips on how to properly wash your wig, check out this video here.
Super Deep Condition Your Tresses
When I decided to get serious about length retention, it wasn't until I applied this particular tip that I started to make some real progress. So technically, this is a step that you should apply to your hair, no matter what. But when it comes to wig-wearing, you are going to REGRET IT (and yes, I am yelling that!) if you put yours on without deep conditioning your tresses first. Deep conditioning does everything from moisturize your hair and add some much-needed elasticity to it to smooth your cuticles and reduce your chances of getting split ends.
So, before you put your wig on, shampoo your hair, apply a deep conditioner, let it sit for no less than 30 minutes (a few hours is even better) and then rinse, dry and braid your hair before putting your wig on. It's a great way to keep extra moisture in your hair until your next wash day (which again, should be no less than 10 days later).
Oil Your Cornrows
If you want your wig to lay down as flat as possible and your hair is past the TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro) stage, it's best that you put it into cornrows. Not only will that help your wig to fit really closely to your scalp, but it's also a great way to protect your ends too. Just make sure that before you braid your hair that you apply a carrier oil like avocado, sweet almond, grapeseed, coconut or jojoba to your hair to keep your braids extra protected and your scalp well moisturized. Also, you might want to apply a little bit onto your braids, every time you take off your wig as well. In fact, if you want to keep your natural hair and your wig smelling nice, you can even add a few drops of your favorite essential oil to your carrier oil of choice. Lavender, orange and jasmine oil all smell amazing.
"Baby" Your Hairline
There are many people who end up with bald edges because they skipped this point. There's no way around the fact that your edges (and nape) are probably the most fragile parts of your hair. And when you've got a wig on, the pressure from the wig can start to weigh down on your edge's follicles, potentially causing irreversible damage. That's why it's best to pull out some of your "baby hairs" before putting your wig on. Not only that, but make sure to baby your hairline too by gently massaging them with Jamaican black castor oil (which is loaded with nutrients), not using alcohol-based edge control gel (that can dry your edges and nape out) and making sure that your old toothbrush is wet before applying product to it or brushing your edges down; otherwise, the roughness of the brush can wreak havoc on your baby hairs too. By the way, if you're looking for a good edge control, one that I enjoy is by Arcani Coil Care. It's a sistah-owned company and the product is long-lasting.
Watch the Straps and the Combs
Two of the most underrated reasons why natural hair ends up being damaged, especially around the nape and edges, once we take our wigs off, is we don't adjust our wig straps or pay attention to how our combs fit on our head. While your wig straps need to be secure, make sure they aren't so tight that they cause friction on the most fragile parts of your hair (your hairline). As far as your wig combs go, make sure they have rounded ends and that you place them into your hair gently. It's also important to not put them exactly in the same place every time (that can result in breakage and, eventually balding). Oh, and it's a good idea to massage the areas where your straps and combs were when you take your wig off. It will bring blood to your scalp and nourish your hair follicles, so that those vulnerable areas won't cause your hair to become extremely vulnerable and damaged.
Take Your Wig Cap Off at Night
Whether or not you go with a wig cap that you choose yourself, you cut up an old pair of stockings or you opt to use the wig cap that came with your wig installation (because more and more wig companies are including those), it's imperative that you take off your wig cap every night. Remember that the reason why you wear them at all is so 1) your natural hair can get as flat as possible; 2) your natural hair can be protected from the potential snagging that could come from your wig and 3) so your wig looks as natural as it possibly can (which is why it's a good idea to go with a wig cap that is nude rather than black).
Sleeping with a wig cap on keeps your scalp from getting an opportunity to breathe and that is another way for bacteria to form and for our hair follicles to weaken over time.
Detox Your Scalp Once a Month
Earlier this year, I wrote an article for the site entitled, "Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend". The reason why it's so important to detox your scalp is because it removes build-up and it can also rebalance the pH level of your scalp too. Your scalp is really going to need this if you're someone who wears a wig on a consistent basis, so make sure that a thorough scalp detox is a part of your monthly hair care routine.
Take Breaks
Too much of a good thing can easily turn into a bad thing when there is no balance and moderation. Wigs aren't exempt from this fact. So, definitely make sure to take a break from your wigs from time to time. If you wear the kind that you can take off every day, consider going a weekend without one. If you opt for the kind that you can keep on for 4-6 weeks easily, give your natural hair at least a couple of weeks before installing a new one. Air, Vitamin D (from the sun) and the lack of stress and pressure that can come from wigs is necessary if you want your hair to be healthy and to thrive.
If It's a Lace Front...
Wash the Wig Right When You Take It Out of the Package
To tell you the truth, this particular tip should apply to any wig that you buy. The reason why you should wash your wig(s) before applying it/them is because you have no idea who handled the wig before you got it. Plus, not all wigs are packaged equally, and it would suck if there was dirt, debris or…whatever in the wig; especially since you probably plan on wearing your wig for at least a couple of weeks at a time.
As far as how to properly wash a lace front, put a mild shampoo (remember that it needs to be synthetic or some type of fabric softener if it's made out of synthetic hair) into your sink or a basin of water. Put the wig into the water and allow it to soak for about 10 minutes. Use your hands to gently massage the wig (do not use a comb or brush). Then rinse the wig in lukewarm water, lightly dry it with a T-shirt and then apply a spray that's made of half distilled water and half hair conditioner. Let that sit for about five minutes and thoroughly rinse it again with lukewarm water. Use a T-shirt to gently wring the excess water from your wig and allow your wig to air dry on a wig stand with the weft of the wig exposed to the air. Once your wig is completely dry, you can then gently comb or use a wig brush.
Use a Good Adhesive Brand
A bad lace front adhesive can be the absolute devil when it comes to damaging your natural hair. It's kind of a science class, trying to figure out which brand is best (especially if you're looking for a brand that is gentle on your hair but is also super long-lasting at the same time), but Oprah's site did an article on the best wig glues for lace fronts (you can check it out here) and this is another topic where the YouTube queens can definitely hold you do. Check out this video, this video and this video from some cool recommendations.
Give Lace Fronts No More Than 5-6 Weeks
I'll be the first one to say that some of these lace front wigs out here are absolutely mind-blowing when it comes to how real they look! But no matter how close to the real thing they might appear to be or how securely you're able to install yours, even the best of the best have an expiration date in the sense of how long you should wear them before it's time to take them off and take a break.
The standard? Somewhere around 5-6 weeks is when you need to remove it so that you can do all of the things that I just shared to your own hair and so that you can properly clean and condition your lace front too.
Again, while there is a lot more info that can be shared on wigs and wig maintenance, if you apply these suggestions, you can feel pretty confident that your own hair will thrive while you're out here being a baddie in your wig. And that truly is the best of both worlds when it comes to hairstyles—ain't it?
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (missnosipho@gmail.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
Black women are not a monolith. We all are deserving of healing and wholeness despite what we've been through, how much money we have in the bank, or what we look like. Most importantly, we are enough—even when we are not working, earning, or serving.
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5 Kinds Of Friends You Need. 3 Kinds Of Friends You Don't.
Hopefully, as you age, you are maturing. And as you mature, you accept that although our society and culture seem to act, in many ways, like life is forever one big high school (cliques, peer pressure, caring about looks more than character, etc.), it’s not supposed to be.
Take friendships, for example. While, when you were a teenager, having a ton of friends was typically an indication of being uber popular, as an adult, you realize that popularity ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be and that if you have three solid friends, you are truly blessed. In fact, some studies reveal that most adults have between 3-5 true friends (not people you are cool with or even close acquaintances…good friends), with almost 50 percent professing to have three or fewer of those.
In the spirit of finding that conclusion to be absolutely true, let’s look at five types of friends you need — and three kinds of friends you don’t. Hopefully, when it comes to the five, you’ve got folks in your life who have all of these characteristics. Also, once you review the three kinds of “friends” who are probably doing you more harm than good, you will be ready to do some shifting — so that you have more to offer the friends who are actually benefiting you and your world (as you do the same thing for them). Ready?
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1. You NEED an ACCOUNTABLE Friend
I’ll tell you what — if anything is currently on the endangered species list, it’s accountability. I don’t know what’s up with the current state of our culture, but people holding themselves responsible for their own words and actions (along with allowing others to do it) is becoming so rare that I recently wrote an article about it (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'” when you get a chance).
It’s like egos are so large — and fragile — that so many folks have fooled themselves into believing that they want a romantic partner when what they actually want is a mesmerized audience and/or that they long for a true friend when what they actually want is a diehard fan. Don’t believe me? How many times have you heard someone say, “If you were my friend, you wouldn’t judge me, you’d support me”? And usually, it’s in the context of them being called out in their ish and them not liking it.
Supporting you doing something that is potentially unhealthy, obviously counterproductive, or even simply against your friend’s personal convictions? Nah, a real friend is gonna tell you what you don’t want to hear — especially if/when you don’t want to hear it because one of the main purposes of friendship is to look out for you and check for blind spots that you may not notice any other way.
Does that mean you are always expected to agree with your friend and their findings? No. Still, if they truly care about you, they will put their concerns on record. That’s the sign of someone you can actually trust. Besides, have you read an entertainment website or blog lately? Audiences and fans are fickle as hell. Accountability comes with maturity and stability. It’s something that the foundation of friendship is built upon.
2. You NEED a FLEXIBLE Friend
I don’t have kids. I do have goddaughters, though. One of them is a preteen (lawd, where does the time go?!) who is a bit on the dramatic side. So, one thing that I try and emphasize to her is she needs to be flexible when it comes to her approach to life. Otherwise, her rigidness (that life should go the way she wants to with no wiggle room for shifting) is gonna make her…unnecessarily miserable.
Sometimes she listens, sometimes she doesn’t — especially when it comes to her friendships. It’s like she wants everyone to be just like she’s decided in her mind that they should be, and then they are only loyal from her perspective if they never switch up. Bless her heart, because could anything be more unrealistic than that?
Thing is, I know grown folks who act the same way, not just when it comes to their friends but their own marriage. Listen, when you sign up to be in an intimate relationship with someone else, one of the things that you’re doing is agreeing to be loyal to the person they were, the person they are, and the person they are becoming — as they do the same thing for you. And that? That requires quite a bit of mental and emotional flexibility. And no, it’s not always easy.
Just recently, I was talking to a friend of mine about how much I have grieved certain dynamics of our friendship over the past (almost) 20 years. In so many ways, although core values like loyalty, trustworthiness, and dependability have pretty much never wavered, because he’s become a different person in other ways, to a certain degree, it’s affected how we interact and how much. Many times, when we would discuss it, he would have to remind me that I’m comparing who he is now to who he was when he was damn near two decades younger — and to him, that was unfair.
In many ways, he’s right. There’s something wrong with a person who can go years at a time without evolving, and there’s also something wrong with a friend who won’t “let” a person do so. Hmph, that actually makes Alice Walker’s quote make all the more sense: “No person is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow.” Yeah, if you want to have good friends and be a good friend, flexibility has to come into play. No doubt about it.
3. You NEED a PROACTIVE Friend
In the many years that I have been a marriage life coach, if there’s one thing that personally irks me to no end is passive aggressiveness. I’ve said it many times before because I absolutely believe it to be true that Disney and rom-coms have too many people out here thinking that a sign of true love and real connection is mind-reading abilities when that simply isn’t the case. What I mean by that is, if you want someone to know what your wants, needs, and expectations are, you need to tell them. Guessing games are just that: GAMES.
And what does that have to do with this particular point? Well, until you state what you need from someone, it’s not their responsibility to try and figure it out and then fulfill it. It’s once you communicate with them and (this is key), they agree that it is something that they can rise to the occasion on, and then they don’t, that it starts to translate as neglect or even disrespect as far as your relationship goes.
Here’s a good example. I’m a Gemini. I’m also a unique woman on a few levels because, although I don’t observe holidays (and no, I am not a Jehovah’s Witness), I do treat my birthday like it lasts the entire Gemini season. Back in the day, I used to assume that my friends found their own birthday to be as much of a big deal as I did mine, and so, I didn’t think it was necessary to mention that I wanted to celebrate beyond a mere “Happy Birthday.” Interestingly enough, though, most of my world is kind of “meh” about their day — and so that energy initially translated that way when it came to observing mine.
For years, I would be HOT. At the same time, I wouldn’t say anything. I chalked it up to folks not really caring about me as much as I thought they did. That is, until I stated it as a need and — BOOM! Even the friends of mine who don’t get it will make sure to bring up, right around the beginning of June, what I want and/or want to do for my born day. They are proactive instead of reactive because I communicated my needs.
So, with this point, there are two things to remember: don’t expect out of people what you haven’t clearly stated. Once you do, though, if they value you and your dynamic with them, they are going to be proactive. In other words, you won’t have to keep asking, keep reminding, and/or keep being disappointed. You will be too important to them for that to transpire.
4. You NEED a SAFE Friend
Probably, until my last breath, if someone were to ask me about a self-help book that they should read, I’m going to refer them toSafe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't. Listen, when you’ve survived the kind of stuff that I have over the course of my lifetime, “safe” is a word that is truly music to your ears. And yes, when it comes to the types of friends that you need, safe is a word that you should never compromise or waver on.
When someone is safe, they are “secure from liability to harm, injury, danger, or risk” and “free from hurt, injury, danger, or risk.” Some synonyms for safe include protected, cherished, alert, considerate, and even “taking it easy” (they aren’t pushy or pressuring). And because the word “safe” isn’t used nearly enough when it comes to setting the bar for romantic, platonic, or hell, even familial relationships, let me go a bit deeper.
Characteristics of a safe person include:
- They are honest and direct in their communication
- They let you share your feelings freely
- They keep things confidential
- They operate from a place of humility
- They do not weaponize information against you
- They’re forgiving
- They’re understanding
- They are affirming and validating
- They are consistent (they aren’t wishy-washy)
- They don’t expect perfection yet they do expect growth
- They keep their word
- They help you to become a better person
And honestly, these 12 things simply scratch the surface of what it means to be safe to someone else; however, the list is vast enough (hopefully) that you know what kind of bar you are holding your own friends to.
For the record, a safe friend isn’t a perfect one. That needs to be said because friends are human and humans are fallible. At the same time, the reason why I’ve penned articles for the site like “10 Signs You’ve Got A Close (TOXIC) Friend,” “6 Signs You're About To Make A Huge Mistake In Making Them A Close Friend,” and “Ever Wonder If A Friend Is Just...Not That Into You?” is because, it’s one thing for a friend to make mistakes, yet it’s another when they are reckless and honestly couldn’t care less if their words or actions are doing you harm.
So yeah, do yourself a favor and think about each of your friends (close friends especially). As you go over the safe list — which of them are safe and which ones…honestly aren’t? And then, in the spirit of holding your own self accountable, ask yourself if you are a safe space for them as well. In order to be objective, you might want to send them this article and let them be the judge. Straight up.
5. You NEED a SECURE Friend
It’s hard for someone to love you if/when they don’t love themselves. And when I think back on one of the things that I totally underestimated back in the day when it comes to healthy friendships, it was making sure that the people in my life weren’t insecure — especially the women. From the mean girl that I met in the first grade, to one of the worst people to ever come into my life who was kind of forced upon me in my childhood (just because your parents have friends, that doesn’t mean that you should automatically be put together with those people’s kids), to some people who were not-even-remotely low-key jealous and competitive — you really need people in your life who are so secure in themselves that they can root for you, they won’t try and copy you and they don’t feel some type of way about the goals that you reach along life’s way.
So, what are some clear signs that you’ve got a friend who is secure with themselves, which means that they will be solid when it comes to you and your friendship with them?
Secure people:
- Don’t always have to be right
- Do not feel threatened by your success
- Aren’t using you as a meter for their own life accomplishments
- Don’t give backhanded compliments
- Aren’t defensive about every damn thing
- Aren’t super clingy or needy
- Can take criticism
- Aren’t petty
- Don’t switch up on you on the regular
- Feel like a breath of fresh air instead of someone you have to walk on eggshells around
In short, insecure people feel like projects, and when it comes to healthy friendship dynamics, the last thing you should want to feel is like you’re always working on someone — or that you’re constantly working to make things work.
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1. You DON’T NEED a HYPOCRITICAL Friend
Have mercy! If there is one thing that our culture enjoys doing to the utmost, it’s cherry-picking the Bible. Meaning, if there’s a Scripture that makes them feel good, they’re all about applying the Good Book to their lives. On the flip side, if there’s something that challenges them to the utmost, suddenly, they want to deflect or manipulate it. Take when Scripture speaks of Christ saying, “Judge not, that you be not judged.” Folks are good for stopping there, yet let’s look at the statement in its proper context:
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?” — Matthew 7:1-3(NKJV)
Now, for the record, there are verses like “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24 — NKJV) that make it clear that judgment is not a bad thing; it’s just that there is an attitude and order that we’re supposed to apply when doing it — and Matthew 7 is clear that the spirit that we have when we judge is one that we can expect from others. Not only that, but whatever area we plan on judging in, we should make sure that we’re good in that very same space.
For instance, how can you call out your friend on being in unhealthy relationships if you’re in a toxic one yourself? Are you being a good friend, or are you merely deflecting — or worse projecting? It is easier to take out your frustrations with yourself on them because you don’t want to look into your own mirror. Or how are you going to be hard on your friend about their financial decisions when your credit score sucks, and your savings account is empty?
See? The issue when it comes to being a hypocritical friend is you either hold people to a bar/standard that you don’t even hold yourself to, or you seem very comfortable with the “Do as I say not as I do” approach — and that is just ridiculous.
No one needs a friend who thinks it’s their job to police everyone but themselves. It’s draining. It’s arrogant. And, at the end of the day, it benefits absolutely no one.
2. You DON’T NEED an INCONSISTENT Friend
A few weeks ago, while sitting in one of my classes, an instructor asked all of us to share what our biggest pet peeves were when it comes to relationships. I didn’t have to think twice — I can’t stand it when people are inconsistent.
I think a lot of it has to do with PTSD from my childhood because I lived with people who were unpredictable as all get out. And while it might be ironic to those who’ve read/heard that a popular trait of Geminis is moodiness (although I would say I’m pretty consistent on that front), is there anything more exhausting than someone who is one way on Monday and another way on Thursday or they make plans and then bail at the last minute (on a pretty regular basis), or they suck at clear communication, or they make promises yet don’t keep them, or they aren’t there for you when you absolutely need them to be? NOPE.
And while we’re on this particular kind of friend that you don’t need in your life, some definitions of consistent include compatible, not self-contradictory, and “constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form, etc.” Yeah, the older you get, the more you realize that long-term friendships need to have more than “we like the same music or food” in common. It’s important to have some people in your life who share your core values — who have similar (good) character traits as you do.
Also, some synonyms for consistent include words like dependable, logical, rational, steady, and unwavering. For better or for worse, if there’s one thing that just about all of my friends say about me, it’s that I’m consistent as hell — what you see is what you get. Rarely does something ever blindside them about me; especially since I’m going to pretty much overcommunicate my needs and will give a heads-up when I’m about to shift into some sort of internal growth spurt. That way, there are no unpleasant surprises.
Life brings enough of those without your friendships being full of ‘em. Feel me? I’m sure that you do.
3. You DON’T NEED a SELFISH Friend
As I’m gearing up to write my third book, one of the things that I will be addressing is how selfish a lot of my past friends — well “friends” — were. A lot of self-work and healing has helped me to see that a huge part of that is because my friends reflected quite a bit of my familial experiences because, well, your family is all that you know…until you know something different.
Friends got to get away with it because it was a cryptic kind of selfish. They were self-consumed like a mug yet also manipulative enough to do just enough to make me think that it was okay for me to do more than them. Probably the best way to explain the hamster wheel is bread-crumbing — you know, giving you a little bit to keep you hanging on and rarely much more than that.
For instance, I have shared before that one former friend? Over the course of our friendship, I literally spent thousands on her, yet I can’t think of one time when I ever received a wrapped gift. Not one. Instead, she would bake a cake or cookies (mostly for my birthday), which was nice — yet still, how do you go 15 years with someone purchasing for birthdays, bridal showers, weddings, anniversaries, etc., and you can’t seem to muster up one present that actually comes with a receipt?
Meanwhile, you show me things that you purchase for other folks? Wild. Yeah, she was a selfish person, and a big part of that was because she was a self-consumed woman. Somehow, even when she claimed to call to check on me, the conversations would always become about her (chile).
So, what else does a selfish friend typically do?
- They’re constantly asking for something while rarely offering anything
- They display horrible timing when it comes to their requests (they don’t know how to “read the room”; they only care about their needs being met)
- They rarely apologize (if ever)
- They don’t really commit to anything unless they can get something out of it
- They do what’s best for themselves — even at the expense of others
- They have controlling tendencies
- They act entitled
- They’re typically easy to get along with until they can’t have their way
- They lack empathy
- They don’t mind you doing most of the work
To be fair, most of us have selfish moments that our peeps have to love us through (because, well, love is patient, right?). However, because friendships are about reciprocity, look out for folks who, if you pulled your effort out of the picture, there would barely be a friendship to speak of because that’s how much you put in and how little they do.
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It was a long read, I know. Yet because one of the most important relationships we will ever have in this life is our friendships, I hope this cheat sheet will help you to see what a real friend looks and acts like — and doesn’t.
Because, after all, life is too short and precious to be out here not celebrating the friends you need as you hold onto the ones…you…don’t.
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