Former Democratic congresswoman and gun advocate Gabrielle Giffords once said, "Pursue your passion and everything else will fall into place. This is not being romantic. This is the highest order of pragmatism." My favorite part of what she said is how going after your passion isn't a romantic notion; that it's not about being caught up in fanciful and unrealistic ideals of what we think living out our passion and purpose should look like.

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As life would have it, as I'm starting this piece, Kelis' music video for "Bossy" is playing on the tube. Something that I've always liked about Kelis, as an artist, is she's gonna do whatever she wants to do. We don't have to get it, so long as she does. If we like it, that's merely a bonus. Yeah, Kelis would be the opposite of the kinds of folks we're gonna talk about today. She appears to be very anti-self-critical. And that's beautiful.

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Although it personally baffles me that people like this exist—half kidding, half not—I've got a few girlfriends who pretty close to loathe oral sex. I don't mean giving it (fellatio), I mean receiving it (cunnilingus). Most of them are wives too.

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I recently read an article that discussed all of the scientific signs that point to whether a person is falling in love or not. I'm not gonna share all 13 of 'em, but here are the ones that personally stood out to me—elevated levels of dopamine that cause you to focus your attention on someone; spending (wow) 85 percent of your time thinking about that individual; developing strong feelings of empathy for another person; desiring an emotional connection over a sexual one with them and, believing that your "love feelings" are something that you are not able to control. Maybe, but as Chris Rock once said, "You can't control who you love, but you can control how you love." That's good food for thought right there.

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"'Cause he is the truth/Said he is so real/And, I love the way that he makes me feel/And, if I am a reflection of him/Then I must be fly, because his light, it shines so bright/I wouldn't lie, no"—"The Truth", India.Arie

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Sooo…what have you been feeding your vagina lately? It might sound like a crazy question on the surface, but if it is indeed true that we are what we eat, this means that whatever we put into our mouths, our va-jay-jay is not exempt from receiving whatever is in it—good or bad.

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