

Never fall in love with someone’s potential. Lawd, if there’s a sentence that makes absolutely no sense to me — one that has been making its rounds for decades at this point, one that has gotten so much louder since social media — it’s this one. Folks are really out here thinking that they are being insightful, profound, and hell, even realistic by basically saying that if you want to have a long-term relationship, you should avoid anyone who is a work in progress. SMDH.
Meanwhile, I can’t tell you how many articles (which are actually more like testimonies) I’ve read, from both men and women, that a part of what made them choose who they did and love them in the way that they do now is because that particular individual was willing to invest in what? THEIR POTENTIAL.
Two men who immediately come to mind are actor Denzel Washington and director Ryan Coogler. Money was tight for Denzel when he and his wife Pauletta went on their first date. So much, in fact, that she actually covered the cab fare. A whopping 40 years later, they’re still married. During Ryan Coogler’s humble beginnings, it was actually his then-girlfriend-now-wife Zinzi who purchased his first filmmaking software while he was playing football on a scholarship. I’m pretty sure that most of you all know how that turned out for him — well, them.
So yeah, I’m not interested in people venting, ranting, or advising that people not get involved with someone based on their potential. At this point, I think the saying has gotten so popular that folks don’t even really get what potential means or how it can actually be a wise move to do just that. Because, as author Roy T. Bennett once said, “Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself.” And listen, if we’re supposed to see ourselves through this kind of lens, why wouldn’t we extend this same type of care and consideration for others?
For the skeptics, I’ll go deeper, though.
First Up, Let’s Define “Potential”
If you’ve read enough of my content, you know that I am pretty word-literal. So, let’s start all of this out by revisiting what the definition, and some synonyms, of the word “potential” actually are.
Potential: (adj.) possible, as opposed to actual; capable of being or becoming; (n) possibility; potentiality; a latent excellence or ability that may or may not be developed
Synonyms: hidden, likely, future, conceivable, probable, dormant, embryonic, thinkable, plausible, undeveloped, unrealized, imaginable
You know what immediately comes to mind when I take in all of what potential means? The biblical definition of faith: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1 — NKJV) While we’re here, hope means “the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.” Yeah, don’t get me preachin’ about the fact that when you have faith in something that has not yet manifested, that doesn’t always mean that you’re going to get your way; hope tells us that having faith in something or someone is about EITHER knowing that you can have what you want OR that things will turn out for the best. Best means “of the highest quality, excellence, or standing” and “most advantageous, suitable, or desirable.”
So, when you put all of this together, something (or someone) that has potential is something (or someone) that is capable of being or becoming something — there are things within that are hidden yet likely, dormant yet conceivable, undeveloped yet probable. And by having faith in this reality and then investing in it, you are confident that things will either turn out in the way that you want them to…or in a way that will work even more to your advantage, one way or another.
With the foundation established, let’s keep building...
What Potential in a Relationship Looks Like
Let’s go back to Ryan and Zinzi Coogler for a moment. Back when he was playing college football (on scholarship from what I’ve read), clearly there was a love that he had brewing for film, and Zinzi saw that in him; there was a seed, and she watered it — and it’s a huge understatement to say that the seed grew. Okay, so that’s something that should go on record about people and their potential: something has to exist, even if it's in an embryonic stage, in order for anyone to recognize it and then nurture it.
And why is this relevant? Because I think that when a lot of people say that you should stop dating potential, what they mean is you shouldn’t pour into something that isn’t there. For instance, getting into a relationship with a guy who has told you that he has no interest in getting married (or marrying you) and yet staying anyway, believing that there is some “potential” there — how is that possible? Potential means that something exists…and he told you that what you desire doesn’t. And basically, that is a total waste of your time (check out “Love Is Patient. But Is Your Relationship Just Wasting Your Time?” and “‘National All Or Nothing Day’ Reminds Us That Sometimes It Needs To Be Just That”). On the flip side, if there’s a guy you’re interested in, he’s interested in you too, he knows you want to be married someday, and he’d prefer to wait until he’s more financially stable and secure — there is some potential there.
With that being said, potential in a relationship also tends to come with some sort of plan. Yeah, that’s one of the reasons why I like Wale’s song “Matrimony” so much. When Usher sings the hook and says that his lady has his heart, a part of the reason why she knows that is because he’s making plans for her. Y’all, when a relationship has some real potential to it, some actual possibilities, if there is a real future there, there are gonna be some expressed plans — and some follow-through. Not necessarily according to your timing, yet there will be some movement. That is, if both people are taking the potential of where things could go literally and seriously — not one of you…BOTH OF YOU.
Next point.
Do You Have a Problem with “Potential” or Are You Just an IMPATIENT Person?
Yeah...she's preachin' right here. And it's an excellent intro to this particular point that I'm about to make.
As someone who has over 18 years in the game of working with couples at this point, whenever the topic of potential has come up, what I’ve often realized (especially when it comes to women) is there tends to be a lot of impatience going on. Meaning, when a woman will say, “I don’t date potential,” what they tend to mean is they’re not going to wait for what they want to have immediately to come into fruition. And so, in their mind, they think that putting that declaration out into the atmosphere will rush things along — oftentimes prematurely. And as a wise person said, “The right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing.”
Example. Say that you’re seeing a guy who you really like. The challenge is you’ve always wanted a “6-6-6 guy” (check out “Okay, So Here's What You Need To Know About the '6-6-6' Man”), and he’s currently in med school, so his finances are super tight. Are you gonna toss the possibilities of what could be aside because he doesn’t have present money yet the POTENTIAL is there? Are you really that impatient?
Here’s another scenario. I can’t tell you how many women email me to say that they’ve met someone who they’re diggin’ on the surface, and yet, since the guy isn’t exactly “their type,” they are literally talking themselves out of seeing how far things could go. Are you so impatient that you can’t go on a few more dates in order to find out instead of just assuming that, since some things are presently unrealized (remember, that’s a synonym of potential), there’s no point taking things any further? You know, I Corinthians 13:1 tells us that love is patient. One definition of patient is understanding; a definition of patience is “an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.”
Y’all are grown and gonna do what you want. My two cents? Don’t be out here so caught up in “not dating potential” that you end up being your biggest obstacle towards ultimately getting what you truly desire — what you could have if you’d only be willing to understand that some things do require time. Like it or not, that’s how life works.
Finding Your Complement Helps to Keep “Potential” in Balance
Okay, so how do you know when you’re moving in the extreme when it comes to loving someone’s potential? Chile, when I tell you that my third book will be touching on that in a very mighty way. There’s a guy from my past who…let’s just say that we had a TON of potential. I saw it. He saw it. People who knew us and even strangers who observed us would say it to us. It was kinda wild. Problem was, even though our connection had a ton of potential, what he wanted out of life when it comes to relationship goals vs. what I did were very different — they didn’t complement one another. And so, 1000 percent, I ended up wasting a colossal amount of time because I was hanging on to the potential of the connection while not paying attention to the reality of the relationship based on how he viewed marriage vs. how I did.
Yeah, making sure that you’re investing into your complement is crucial. By definition, when something complements you, it literally helps to complete you. Not so much in that rom-com Jerry Maguire kind of way (the real ones know) because, in order for a relationship to be healthy, two complete people, within themselves, need to be together. I mean “complete” in the sense of helping to bring some resolve and conclusion to things.
If you need me to expound, what I mean by that is — if a committed long-term relationship is a desire/goal of yours, your complement will help to complete that. You won’t be dating for years on end (check out “Experts Say You Should Date This Long Before Getting Married”). There won’t need to be a billion conversations about where things are going. You won’t have to question if you’re both on the same page. He will want to “finish” the current season as quickly and realistically (not either or, both) as he can so that you can start the next one. Yep, potential and completion are intimate partners. So are completion and conclusion.
Now, one more thing before I get out of your hair when it comes to this topic.
Loving Someone’s Potential Is What a Healthy Relationship Is All About
Another reason why it irks me so much whenever people profess to not date potential is because, since I know what the word means, it actually sounds hella arrogant. Why? Because ALL OF US ARE A VESSEL OF POTENTIAL. No one has reached all of their goals. No one is walking perfection. No matter who any of us choose to be with, if they are good and right for us (not either/or…both), they are going to challenge us to become a better version of ourselves.
So, do you know what that means — you’re always going to be dating/courting/married to potential…and whoever you’re with is going to be doing the same.
If you don’t want to accept that reality, your best bet is to remain single (which certainly has its benefits) because you’re not going to be a very good partner when it comes to helping another person become a better version of themselves…which is a HUGE purpose behind being in a relationship in the first place.
Indeed, a hill that I will forever die on is a healthy relationship, a solid connection, true love, at the end of the day, will show fruit of two people who saw POTENTIAL in one another, nurtured what they saw, and thrived, and flourished, over and over again, because of their mutual support, investment, and commitment into that potential.
So yeah, clearly, I am someone who, eight times out of 10, totally rolls my eyes whenever someone rah-rahs about not wanting to “date potential.” If the possibilities are there, if some plans are discussed, if signs of said plans are being executed, and there is patience during these seasons— that is just how a relationship operates and functions.
Bottom line, don’t date what isn’t there at all.
Date what has a seed that you are capable of watering…as the same thing is done for you.
You know, dating potential has made some mind-blowing things happen for people.
Ask Pauletta. Ask Zinzi. ‘Nuf said.
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- Instead Of Always Trying To Change Your Partner, Do This. ›
- 8 Questions To Ask A Potential Partner Before Becoming Exclusive ›
- Dating For Potential & When To Say When ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Feature image courtesy
Earlier this week, I took a male friend of mine out for a belated birthday lunch. We both work in media, so we always have a lot — and I mean, A LOT — to talk about. Anyway, since we both were in our 20s in the 90s, we found ourselves discussing how blessed—yes, BLESSED—we were to have had the kind of R&B that that decade provided. Chile, I would provide a list of examples; however, there is not enough time or space, plus, I don’t want y’all yelling at me in the comments because I inadvertently left someone out.
Anyway, as we were also talking about how, let’s go with ho-hum, a lot of R&B is right now, especially when it comes to the lack of seduction that the genre used to have back in the day, I shared with him a joke that I once heard from comedian Deon Cole as he was comparing After 7 to today’s music. I’m actually going to post it below, so that you can get the full effect. LOL.
Video credit: @netflixisajoke
And that made me think of The Whispers and their throwback song, “In the Mood.” The real ones recall the lyrics: “Let me rub your shoulders (just relax)/Just let go/Slip on somethin' sexy/It's all right, baby, let me take control, hoo/ Step into the shower/I'll wash your back and you'll wash mine/Please stay for one more hour/I just want to make sweet love to you and feel you one more time….This is what I do to get you in the mood…Baby, I do it all to get you in the mood.” Ah, yes, music that sounds like intimacy instead of getting banged out.
And that made me want to ask a few women about what gets them in the mood as it directly relates to bedroom action, along with what, well, doesn’t. Check out what they said and then hop in the comments to share your own thoughts.
It’s always fascinating to hear about women’s sexual turn-ons and turn-offs.
*Middle names are always used, so that people can speak freely*
1. Areyla. Single. 34.
TURN ON: “I’ve always been drawn to two things: how a man smells and how crisp his line-up is. You bring a man to me who smells earthy and sexy whenever I hug him, and then he has the nerve to have a fresh haircut — girl, I am all over him! I think that it mostly has to do with those things being a sign of self-care, in a meticulous way. And if you’re into the details of you, I have no question that you will be into the details of me.”
TURN OFF: “Dirty fingernails. I have a natural curve in my own nails, so I get that it’s not always about a lack of hygiene or that he’s negligent. I just know that if you want your hands to go into certain places and spaces, you’ve got to get up under those nails, babe. I keep metal files and nail brushes in my bathroom because of it.”
2. Dachelle. Dating. 29.
TURN ON: “There are dirty talkers, then there are sensual speakers. I don’t need you to sound like you transcribed a porn video during sex. I do like when a man drops his voice an octave, speaks barely above a whisper, and asks me questions like, ‘So, what do you want me to do to you tonight? Be specific.’ And don’t let him have a strong vocabulary! I am definitely a sapiosexual, so the more intentional he is with his words, the better.”
TURN OFF: “Men who don’t cuddle. Maybe that sounds obvious, but some of my friends couldn’t care less about that. To me, if you don’t want to be close to me unless you are inside of me, that feels like we only have a physical connection, and sex means more to me than that. A man who spoons me right after sex because he wants to is gonna get another round from me. A man who doesn’t doesn’t, he also doesn’t have to worry about seeing me ever again.”
Shellie here: If you’re unfamiliar with what a sapiosexual is, check out “Tap Into What It Means To Be A Sapiosexual.”
3. Chayla. Engaged. 27.
TURN ON: “This might sound weird, but I like a man who doesn’t ‘come in hot.’ You know — guys who go down on you and act like they know just how you like it, or guys who immediately put you in a sex position and go ham like I should immediately be impressed. For me, that translates that they are doing to me what they’ve done with some woman before me, and we might not like the same things. That’s why I enjoy sexual conversations before sexual experiences. Ask me how I like to be touched and licked. Ask me what my favorite sex position is. Get to know me before you get to know me. My fiancé is like that — and that’s a big part of why he’s about to be my husband.”
"Ask me how I like to be touched and licked. Ask me what my favorite sex position is. Get to know me before you get to know me."
TURN OFF: “There’s nothing wrong with some hair pulling during sex; I’m all for it. What I need you to not do is pull my head into your stomach while I’m giving you head. There is already too much going on during that time and a sistah needs to breathe!”
Shellie here: We actually tackled the hair-pulling topic before on this platform. Check out “Contrary To Popular Assumption, Black Women LOVE Getting Their Hair Pulled During Sex” when you get a chance.
4. Indigo. Married. 41.
TURN ON: “I know I sound married when I say this, but — clean this house, baby. In our home, we have a chores chart, kind of like what some of us grew up with. My husband and I each have days when we do certain things, so when he takes the initiative to do what’s on my list? That’s less work for me, which gives me more energy for him. And don’t let that man cook and clean up the kitchen more than twice in a week. How do you want it? How do you freaking want it, my love?’
TURN OFF: “My husband does his own laundry. We’re all grown and just like we have periods, men have fluids ‘n stuff in their drawers too. That’s fine. But anyone who says that keeping some mystery in a marriage isn’t needed, that’s somebody who doesn’t want to have a lot of sex. Just sayin’.”
Shellie here: There’s actually something to that chore thing. Studies say that couples who share chores end up having more sex. You can read about it here, here, and here.
5. Twyla. Dating. 25.
TURN ON: “Hickeys turn me on. Two things that I can’t do are whistle and give hickeys, so I’m amazed when others can do it — and yes, when I see…what do the older folks call it, love bites, on my breasts or tummy, that makes me feel desired on another level and it puts me in the mood pretty quick.”
TURN OFF: “Hickeys where you can see them are a turn-off, though. I don’t need people all up in my business. Also, guys who don’t let you know when they’re about to cum when they’re in your mouth. Not everyone’s taste and flow are the same down there, and I have a gag reflex. Announce the rainstorm, sir. I appreciate it.”
6. Essence. Married. 31.
TURN ON: “Kissing every part of me like you kiss my mouth is always gonna get him just what he wants. You ever had a man tongue down, not just your neck but your wrists, tummy, and even behind your knees? A good kisser is one thing. A good all-over-the-place one? I ain’t going no damn where.”
" Kissing every part of me like you kiss my mouth is always gonna get him just what he wants."
TURN OFF: “Stubble. On the face and down there. It puts me in a bind because I think my husband is sexy with a salt and pepper stubble beard, but when we do a lot of kissing, it gives me beard burn, and when I’m giving him head, stubbly pubes irritate my forehead. I mean, you asked.”
7. Queen. Divorced (and Dating). 33.
TURN ON: “Men who know that there is more to us than T&A is a huge turn on for me. Kiss my forehead. Lick my neck. When you’ve got my legs on your shoulders, kiss my legs. Suck on my fingers. Help me find new spots that turn me on. Sh-t. Is it hot in here? Damn.”
TURN OFF: “My turn off is the opposite of my turn on. It’s not even so much that I want a lot of foreplay — I just want you to act like you don’t just have to play with my kitty kat to get me going. Men who don’t learn how to enjoy all of a woman are lazy lovers — and that is going to turn me dry every time.”
8. Eleena. Single. 46.
TURN ON: “If you want to get me in the mood, call me to ask what kind of sex I want to have with you. Maybe it’s just me, but my mood can determine what I’m in the mood for. One day, I might want a lot of romance. One day, we might need a safe word. One day, a quickie is what I have in mind. Pre-gaming the sex by discussing gets me in the mood because it gets us both on the same page before anything happens — and that can already make sex hot as hell.”
TURN OFF: “I don’t like it when men have sex with themselves. I don’t mean masturbating — I mean, when you are nothing more than the audience to whatever they have in mind. It’s like they get off on themselves: looking in the mirror, asking 'Do you like that?' when they aren’t really doing anything. If we’re having sex, I need you present and into me. Otherwise, you can do whatever you had in mind…by yourself…at your house.”
9. Reveeda. Married. 43.
TURN ON: “A lot of times, it’s not the sex itself that makes sex boring — it’s the predictableness of it. Take me while I’m washing my face in the bathroom. Go down on me in the driveway of our home. Shoot me a text and tell me to meet you at the first hotel where we had sex. My husband is the best that I’ve ever had because, yes, he’s good in bed, but more than that, he’s spontaneous and that gets me in the mood — and keeps me in the mood.”
TURN OFF: “69’ing turns me off. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, and it’s hard for me to concentrate. Plus, I can’t get the right angle while doing him, and I can’t put his head where I want it to be while he’s doing me. Y’all can keep that position. Sex shouldn’t be so complicated.” (She laughed while she said it.)
10. Umi. Divorced (and Single) 36.
TURN ON: “I like to be flung around like I only weigh 10 pounds. I like to be choked. I like a man who stares me dead in the eyes while eating me up. Sexual confidence is gonna get me every time.”
TURN OFF: “Men who bring their ego into the bedroom. You might think that confidence and an ego are the same thing, but they’re not. Men who want to be rated, who want to know if I think their penis is the best ever or who assume that they are doing me right without consulting me — that’s not confidence; that’s peak insecurity and a total waste of my time. From the bottom of my heart, check your ego at the door.”
____
There you have it — 10 women who are crystal clear about what gets them going and what stops them dead in their tracks. What can you relate to? What makes little to no sense to you at all?
At the very least, forward this on to your girlfriends and hold your own unofficial polls the next time that y’all meet up. You never know what you might learn to get you even more in the mood — and what to do about the things that get you out of that same headspace.
After all, knowledge is power. Even in that bedroom of yours.
Straight up.
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