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We’ve Got Some All-Natural Ways To Increase Stamina & Sensitivity
Is your man an outlier? If your initial response is "Umm, in what way?", in the context of this piece, I mean when it comes to how long he can last in bed. Yeah, initially, I wouldn't have used that word in the sexual sense either but apparently, if a man can go for 21 minutes or so, that's what he's considered to be. If he can hang in there between 4-11 minutes, he's average and if he can go for 53 minutes, he's on something; sorry, I mean he's a marathoner.
The relevance in those well-phrased measurements is the fact that, whenever I ask women what they desire more from their partner, stamina is usually what comes up. And, when I ask them what they wish they had more of, typically, it's sensitivity. They either want to tap into their erogenous zones more or, they want to find a way for sexual stimulation to feel more intense during sex.
While there is no magic potion that you or your partner can take to instantly remedy either of these concerns, there are some holistic approaches to both that are safe, effective (in more ways than one) and affordable.
If you want to make your man an outlier or you want to turn up the heat a bit in your own "sweet spots", try adding some of these herbs, foods and items to your health regimen.
1.Damiana
I must admit that, when I first learned about Damiana, I smiled. My first love's name is Damien. My late fiancé's name was Damien. One of the most unique relationships I've ever had with someone, his name is also Damien. And in their own ways, they're all pretty sexy so, there's that.
Outside of my own little exclusive Damien journey, Damiana is a wild shrub-turned-herbal supplement that is used to treat headaches, depression and constipation. It's also great at reducing PMS symptoms, treating insomnia and even relieving symptoms related to anemia and diabetes.
On the sex tip, Damiana is dope because it lowers stress levels, improves a bad mood, increases vaginal lubrication, intensifies orgasms and gives you more energy so that you can go a few rounds (if you want). Yeah, Damiana is that one.
2.Vitamin B12 Foods
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Vitamin B12 is something that we all need that far too many of us are deficient in. So, how do you know that you are lower in this vitamin than you should be? Do you feel lightheaded and weak? Are you gassy or constipated? Do you feel depressed or have you been experiencing memory loss? Do you feel numbness or tingling? If so, go see a doctor, just to make sure that it's not something more serious. If it isn't, eating foods high in B12 (like chicken, tuna, salmon, liver and eggs) can help to get you back on track. As a bonus, Vitamin B12 foods also support bone health, relieve anemia and help to put you into a better mood.
B12 is a must-have for sexual sensitivity because it manufactures healthy red blood cells which keeps your nerve endings, including the thousands that are in your clitoris in tip-top shape. B12 also triggers histamine into your system. That's awesome because you need that in order to have an orgasm.
3.Basil
Basil is an herb that is bomb for so many different reasons. It lowers your blood pressure, fights to prevent breast cancer, increases mental alertness, reduces stroke damage, stabilizes blood sugar, decreases tooth decay and relaxes blood vessels.
It's that last benefit I mentioned that helped basil to make this particular list. Not only does the smell of basil help to get your (and his) juices flowing, it increases blood flow, including down in your genital region. The more circulation you've got, the more intense things will feel.
4.L-Arginine
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On its own, arginine is an amino acid that changes into nitric oxide. We need this because nitric oxide is a neurotransmitter that relaxes blood vessels and increases blood circulation. L-Arginine is known to dilate clitoral blood vessels and, when they are wide open, sexual sensitivity is off the charts! (Other benefits of this supplement are that it enhances your workout performance, treats burns, heals wounds, reduces anxiety and controls blood sugar in diabetics).
A lot of people take L-Arginine in supplement form, but if you're curious, foods that contain arginine are brown rice, peanuts, sunflower seeds, spirulina and (yum) chocolate.
5.Black Raspberries
Did you know that July is when National Kissing Day (July 6) and National Orgasm Day (July 31) are celebrated? Good thing too because black raspberries are only in season during this month and it lasts for only a few weeks too.
Whether you decide to snack on them raw or make some homemade black raspberry ice cream or black raspberry muffins, you'll be doing your body a lot of good. Black raspberries are loaded with antioxidants that help to fight off free radicals, cancer cells and tumors. Black raspberries also have a great reputation for improving vision, keeping your heart healthy and, the ellagic acid that's in them, can help to prevent birth defects if you happen to be pregnant.
Black raspberries are also a phytochemical-rich food that not only boosts libidos in men and women, it gives them both a lot more endurance too (it's best to eat a handful, for 3-5 days, before gettin' it in, in order to get the best results).
6.Less Shrimp, Sugar and Soy
We've spent quite a bit of time touching on what you should consume, but there are some things that you shouldn't. Let's start with shrimp. Shrimp tends to contain pesticides and pesticides are known for being endocrine disruptors which basically means that they take male and female hormones on roller coaster rides. In fact, a lot of shrimp has the mutha of all pesticides, 4-hexylresorcinol, in it.
Sugar isn't good for your sex drive/life because it triggers stress and anxiety and also drains you of your energy. In men, it lowers testosterone levels too. Low testosterone, low sex drive. Oh, and soy. Soy can be unhealthy, on so many levels. Sexually, because it contains phytoestrogens. Yep, soy has a form of estrogen. When too much of this is in your system, it also can alter your hormones and tank your libido as well.
7.A Diffuser
One of the best things about sex is, if it's done right, it incorporates all five of your senses, smell included. Smell actually plays such an important role in sexual arousal that one study says that the better your sense of smell is, the more enjoyable sex will be.
So, what scents will heighten your sexual sensitivity? Rose, neroli, sandalwood, jasmine, cinnamon, patchouli and ylang ylang essential oils, for starters. You can mix them with a carrier oil like grapeseed, sweet almond and avocado, warm the combo up and have an impromptu couple's massage. Or you can put a combination of the oils into a diffuser which will make your bedroom—or wherever you plan on gettin' it on—smell absolutely amazing.
8.Abdominal and Glutes Exercises
Did you know that we naturally have more stamina than men? This means that we've got more power to endure (wink). But if you want a little more, exercising is the way to get more. If you focus on your abdominal muscles—by doing exercises like sit-ups and planks—it will give you more balance and keep you from feeling as much back pressure or pain. If you work on your glutes—by doing squats and hip extensions—it will loosen up your hips and make it easier to try more sexual positions.
What exercises does your man need to do to build his stamina up? From what I've read—cycling, swimming, high-intensity lifting, stair climbing and jumping rope will definitely do his body and sexual performance a lot of good. Oh, and having sex with you more often. That'll help too.
9.Dirty Talk
When you get a chance, check out Medical Daily's article "The Science of Dirty Talk and Why It Increases Sexual Pleasure". It talks about how our brains are one huge erogenous zone, how the more we talk about sex, the more pleasurable sex is and, how liberating dirty talk can be because it breaks us out of our prim and proper shell, lowers our inhibitions and helps us to express our needs and wants to our partner in a very sensual and alluring kind of way.
If you've never really tried it before, simply whispering what you like or what you would like to transpire is a great way to get things going. Dirty talk has a way of, as Kelly Rowland once sang, keeping you and your partner extremely motivated. (Go…go…go…GO!)
10. Lots and Lots of Lube
If you want to skip all of the supplements, foods and exercise tips, something else that can take your sexual sensitivity up a few notches is lubricant. The more, the better too! The wetter sex is, the more enjoyable, intense and longer-lasting it tends to be. Lubricant also reduces the friction of condoms which makes them less likely to break and helps to prevent microscopic vaginal tears, which means having less of a chance of contracting an STD/STI.
Just make sure that if you're going to buy lube that you go with something like a silicone brand (they're waterproof and also won't damage condoms). Or, if you're going to go with something more natural like coconut oil (a fan favorite, even among medical professionals) that you use it for unprotected sex ONLY; with condoms, the oil can break down its effectiveness. What's natural that is also condom-friendly? Aloe Vera, but make sure that it's 100 percent pure so that the other ingredients won't throw off your vagina's pH balance. Have—lots and lots of—fun!
Featured image by Getty Images
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
4 Healthy Foods That Increase Sexual Pleasure
How To Eat Your Way To Better Sex
Foods That Keep Your Vagina Smelling Right (And The Ones That Don't)
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
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Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images