15 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Own Vagina
Let's all pretend for a sec that we're in anatomy class again. Remember when you first learned what your vagina actually is? It wasn't your lips (those are your labia majora and labia minora). It wasn't your clitoris (did you know that the only known purpose of a clit is so you can climax easier?). It wasn't your vulva—the external part of your genitalia. No, your vagina is the internal tube that connects your vulva to your cervix (the lower part of your uterus). Babies come out of it and things like penises, vibrators, tampons and menstrual cups go into it.
Why is all of this relevant? Because, in preparation for sharing some things with you that you may or may not know about what's going on down below, technically, I'll be covering your vulva (the part of your genitalia that you do see) and your vagina (the part of your genitalia that you don't). I'm hoping that, with these 15 following facts in tow, you'll love your vagina more than you already do.
Because you already show your vagina (and your vulva) lots and lots of love…right?
Your Vagina Smells Differently Throughout the Day
If it seems like, scent-wise, your vagina keeps switching up on you throughout the day, don't stress it; that's totally normal. When you get out of the shower, you may smell nothing but once you exercise, your sweat glands may cause you to smell a little musty down there. If you're on your period, it might smell like iron, after sex it might smell a little like bleach (due to how your fluids interact with the smell of semen) and, if you have an infection of some sort, it might smell like yeast or fish.
While we're parked on this particular point, something else that can alter the smell of your va-jay-jay is your diet. The foods that can make it smell less than pleasant are onions, garlic, curry, alcohol and coffee. Oh, and due to a new partner's distinctive semen, switching up partners can change how "she" smells too.
The Shape of Your Lips Have a Lot to Do with Your Orgasms
In the article "10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm", I shared that when a woman's clitoris is about an inch apart from her vaginal opening, it's much easier for her to have a vaginal orgasm. You know what else helps? The way her lips are made. I'm dead serious.
One study revealed that women who have prominent tubercles (which is basically an elevation of extra skin on the upper part of the lips) of her vagina also gave her a far greater chance of experiencing vaginal orgasms. So, if you're one of those women who feels insecure in a bathing suit because you've got what some folks call a "fatty", don't be. You are that much closer to having what reportedly over 70 percent of women don't—a vaginal orgasm!
You’d Be Amazed How “Big” Your Vagina Can Get
Although your vagina is only 3-4 inches long, its stretching capacity is absolutely amazing! So much, in fact, that it can stretch up to 200 percent (which is how babies can come through it). It's able to do this because your vagina is lined with muscular ridges all throughout it.
What this boils down to is you can handle the size of just about any man; at the same time, in order to initially get into the swing of things, you may need to use a vaginal dilator in order to gradually and comfortably stretch the walls of your vagina in order to, umm, accommodate him.
Discharge and Lubricant Aren’t Exactly the Same Things
This point is pretty fascinating. Did you know that there's a difference between discharge and lubricant? Discharge (which is made up of saltwater, mucus and cells) is what helps to rid your body of bacteria. If your vagina is healthy, the discharge should be a clear, white or off-white color, non-clumpy or irritating and you should only produce around 1-2 teaspoons per day. Lubricant is what comes out, only when you are sexually stimulated.
While discharge comes directly out of your actual vagina, lubrication comes out of two pea-sized glands (called Bartholin's Glands) that are located on the outer sides of your vaginal opening.
There’s More to Your Clitoris than Meets the Eye
When babies are first conceived, they all have the same genetic material. Once they are around 12 weeks, that's when either a penis or a labia begins to form. The reason why you might have heard that clitorises are "little penises" is because, like a penises, they have glans, erectile tissue, a tiny shaft and even foreskin (hence, your clitoral hood). They also get erect and expand whenever you're sexually aroused.
Some other fun facts about your clitoris is it contains 8,000 nerve endings (approximately double what a man has in his penis); it's able to create between 3-16 contractions that are able to last 10-30 seconds long; it grows over the course of your lifetime (it's 2.5 times bigger when you're going through menopause vs. when you were an adolescent) and, it's bigger than you probably think that it is (four inches). It's just that three-fourths of your clitoris is located on the inside of your body.
A Healthy Vagina Is Literally Like Fine Wine
One way to know whether or not your vagina is healthy is to check its pH balance (click here if you want a kit that will let you test it from home). If it's in good shape, your pH will be between 3.8-4.5. If it's higher than that, bacterial vaginosis may be the culprit. If it's lower, it could be indicative of a yeast infection (check with your doctor, just to be sure).
Anyway, since a healthy vagina's pH is around a 4 (which means that it's slightly acidic), I thought you might be curious about what else is—tomatoes, beer and yes, wine. This means that if you wanted to compare your vagina to the best of wines, you wouldn't be lying. That is literally the complete and total truth.
A Vaginal Fart Isn’t a Fart at All
TMI? Maybe. I remember the first time I "queefed" with a partner. I was so embarrassed that I picked a fight and we didn't speak for two days. When we finally did discuss how ridiculous I was being, he said, "It just caught me off guard but it's no big deal."
It really isn't. For one thing, queefing is completely normal. Secondly, all that's coming out when your vagina makes a "fart sound" is air; not waste or gas like real fart has in it. It doesn't smell either, so the next time it happens to you, laugh don't freak out. It's all good.
Nothing Can Get “Lost” in There
Your vagina is not a black hole; it does have an end to it (for the most part, your cervix). The reason why it can sometimes be hard to retrieve a broken condom or a tampon that lost its string is because the item is lodged towards the backside of your vagina. Don't worry, though. If you can't get what's stuck out, your physician most certainly can.
While we're on this topic, my great-grandfather used to say (and I quote), "If you wear short skirts in the wintertime, you're gonna catch a cold in your p—sy." Yeah, that's not exactly true. Your vagina is not a gaping hole that's constantly open. In fact, its walls are actually collapsed on top of each other. They expand when they need to and remain closed when they don't. So, please ignore my grandpa's pearls of wisdom. If they were on Snopes, they would be marked as being "false".
Your Pubic Hair Serves Three (Main) Purposes
Something that I personally found to be a plum trip is the fact that pubic hair has a pretty short shelf life. While the hair on our head can last for up to seven years, the hair on our vagina only lasts for three weeks or so. This is why it can only get but so long or bushy.
As far as the purpose that pubic hair serves, for the most part, it's a three-way combo. First, it protects your vagina from debris. Second, it helps to prevent small abrasions from arising on your vulva due to sexual friction (the less small cuts, the less STD risks you have to worry about). Third, so long as you keep your vagina clean, its natural scent gets trapped into your pubic hair, creating pheromones that turns your partner all the way on. Bonus—a lot of my male friends are huge fans of (well-manicured) pubic hair. They say it's because it makes them feel like they are having sex with a grown woman (which co-signs on a study that says the older we get, the less interested we are in removing our pubic hair anyway). Just something to think about.
Your Vagina Doesn’t Need Douching or Steaming
You've probably known for a while now that, because your vagina is self-cleaning, you absolutely do not need to douche it for any reason. Ultimately, all that does is upset the pH balance in your vagina which can cause all sorts of infections up the road. But what you might not know is you shouldn't steam (translation—go somewhere and sit over a hot pot of herbs in hopes to cleanse and tighten your vagina) either. Aside from the fact that you run the risk of burning your vagina (ouch), there isn't really a lot of evidence to support that it does any real cleansing or tightening. You'd be better off using a DIY cleanse and applying it to your vulva (only) instead.
Vulvas Sag over Time
Something that our body produces less of over time is collagen. When this happens, our skin begins to sag, including when it comes to our vulva. It's nothing to feel bad or embarrassed about (men love vulvas and vaginas regardless), but if you do want to give your vulva a bit of a facelift (so to speak), take a collagen supplement and do some kegels regularly. That should do the trick.
Food in Your Vagina IS NOT a Good Idea
Years back, I told a few of my girlfriends a story I heard about a woman who got maggots in her vagina. No one believed me. I can't wait to forward this to them because there is a documented case of a 79-year-old woman who experienced just that (the technical term for it is vaginal myiasis). Although it is rare, I did look for some medical insight on how to insure that it never happens to you. The best way to avoid vaginal maggots (eww…just eww) is to keep food (dark chocolate, frozen bananas and whatever else your creative mind comes up with) OUT of your actual vagina. Vulva (outside) is fine. Vagina (inside) is not.
Multiple Partners Doesn’t Make It Looser. Abstinence Doesn’t Make It Tighter.
Chile, I ain't had sex in so long that I can only hope this point is true! If you are sexually active and you worry that it's "stretching you out", remember, we are able to birth babies through our vagina and still master the vaginal snapback. Ain't no penis able to match a baby's head. You're good. On the flip side, being abstinent for a long period of time is not gonna make your vagina any tighter either (are you surprised?)
According to many medical professionals, the initial discomfort after a dry spell is probably due to not being aroused enough, needing more lubrication upon entry or your partner not knowing what the heck he's doing; not because going months (or even years) without got you "tight and right".
There goes granny's theory about what makes a va-jay-jay looser or tighter. I can't wait to hear what she says when you tell her.
You Can Get an STD. Even with a Condom.
Finally, if you want or need another reason to make sure that you get tested on a regular basis and that you should require to see a new partner's bill of health before doing the do, I've got one. Even if "he" wears a condom, you can still get an STD.
How is that? It's because if he happens to have warts, a herpes flare-up, or pubic lice, your vulva has the ability to come into contact with his scrotum, and—BAM! You could end up sharing more than a good time. Just one more reminder that a condom is not Teflon, so make sure to choose your partners wisely. For you and your vagina's (and vulva's) sake.
There Is No Such Thing as a “Normal Vulva”
Finally, your vulva is a lot like your fingerprint in the sense that no two are exactly alike. The reason why I said "vulva" and not "vagina" is because most of our vaginas are basically the same. But, as far as the genitalia that we can see, there are different colors, shapes and sizes and they're all beautiful.
So, don't spend a lot of time worrying if some extra skin is hanging or your clitoris is on the larger size. God made it that way by design. The right partner will agree—and then some.
Featured image by Getty Images
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
"What's In There?" An Owner's Manual For Your Vagina
Take Better Care Of Your Vagina With These Tips
10 Things Your Vagina Wishes You Would Do More Often
What I've Learned About My Vagina Since Getting Married
Originally published on June 19, 2019
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Your May 2024 Horoscopes Are All About Setting Intentions, Focus, And Self-Discovery
Explore your sign’s 2024 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
May is a month of intention and about focusing on what you are creating in your life right now. Eclipse Season is over for the time being; Mercury is direct again, yet there are still more opportunities for breakthrough and self-discovery. The month begins with Pluto going retrograde in Aquarius on May 2, signifying the need to reclaim your power right now. Pluto will be retrograde until October 11, and this is a good time to experience a renewal within your belief systems, friendships, and community. After a time of change and regrouping, May is a time to create a new path for yourself and feel more secure in doing so.
Taurus Season is in full bloom, and on May 7 the Moon will be joining the Sun for the New Moon in Taurus. This New Moon is an opportunity for luxury, self-care, stability, and harmony.
When the Moon is in Taurus, we are guided towards taking care of ourselves more, and this is a good time to set your intentions for where you want to experience more ease, love, and TLC in life. This New Moon will be a powerful time for manifestation, so make sure you are focused on what you want to create in your life right now. Mercury then moves out of Aries and into Taurus on May 15th, and perspectives move into the energy of more logic, patience, and practicality.
Mercury in Taurus brings the focus to your finances as well, and this is a good time to ask for a raise or promotion, take care of finances, or build your assets.
What May 2024 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
Gemini Season makes its debut on May 20 this year, and the Sun moving into these air signs makes the energy a little lighter and playful, and by the end of the month, people are looking to have some more fun. With a Full Moon in Sagittarius happening a few days later on May 23, the end of May is an exciting, eye-opening, and adventurous time. The Sagittarius Full Moon is the Flower Moon of the Year, and it’s time you receive yours.
Venus moves into Gemini on May 23 as well, and during this time, relationship matters can feel a little more all over the place. However, this is also a more social, charming, and dynamic time for love as well. While Venus is in Gemini, remember that communication is key, and a more open-minded and flexible approach to matters of the heart is needed.
One of the most important transits of the year happens as May comes to an end, and that is Jupiter's move into Gemini. Jupiter has been in Taurus for the past year, helping us grow and get the full picture when it comes to your stability, relationships, and finances, and Jupiter's move into Gemini brings things into focus when it comes to your self-expression, communication, connections, and joy in life.
Jupiter will be in Gemini from May 25, 2024, to June 9, 2025, and this is the perfect opportunity to connect with your creative genius and meet new people with whom you resonate. May, overall, has a lot of potential for opportunity, insight, and collaboration, and this is the perfect month to set your intentions for the future while also living in the moment with the people you love and who inspire you.
Read for your sun sign and rising sign below to see what May 2024 has in store for you.
ARIES
May is a coming-together month for you, and things are starting to make more sense after Mercury retrograde in your sign for most of last month. You are getting more time within your relationships and close partnerships right now, and the New Moon on May 7, happening in your 2nd house, is when this connection, love, and stability begin to come in for you. You have been asking yourself the important questions and are ready to break ground and create the new beginnings you see for yourself.
With Mars in your sign for the entire month of May, you have a lot of energy and passion at your disposal right now, and you are making things happen for yourself. This is a good time for feeling connected to your body and for seeing positive results regarding your health. Jupiter moves into your house of communication at the end of the month where it will be for the next year, and you are moving into a time of more grace, understanding, and opportunity for self-expression right now, Aries - own your voice.
TAURUS
The Sun is in your sign, and you are shining authentically in who you are, Taurus. May is a beautiful month for growth and a time when you are finding your balance between letting go of the past and remaining true to yourself in the present. The New Moon of the month is happening in your sign on May 7, signifying a time of new beginnings for you and when it comes to your goals in life and your sense of freedom.
Be confident in your desires, and know yourself, Taurus. With all the manifestations that are coming forth for you this month, clarity is one of them.
Mercury enters your sign on May 15, and this is a time of positive communication, connection, and gaining some new wisdom. With Mercury in your sign, be prepared for some extra communication on your hands as people are looking to hear your perspective. Jupiter moves out of your sign and enters Aries on May 25 after being in Taurus for the past year, and the luck you have been experiencing in life transfers to your finances, income, and value systems. Overall, you are finding your way and making sense of it all this month.
GEMINI
May is a time of rebirth for you, Gemini. You are in a good head space this month now that your ruling planet, Mercury, is officially out of retrograde and direct again. This is a powerful month for you when things are turning around for you and some extra good karma and luck are coming your way. With the Sun in your 12th house for most of May, you are getting an opportunity to renew and heal from the past and to gain some new understanding of where you have been in life and what you want to create moving forward.
Gemini Season begins on May 20, and it’s your time to shine! Gemini Season this year is a month full of opportunity and clarity, and you are bringing your best self forward. There is a Full Moon on May 23 in your opposite sign, Sagittarius, and love matters are coming full circle for you now so that you can let go of old belief systems that don’t serve you or your relationships anymore. Your most important astrological transit of 2024 happens at the end of the month on May 25, as Jupiter enters your sign for the next year. Jupiter in your sign signifies good luck, fortune, and personal success in your future.
CANCER
This month is about finding your balance, manifesting, and working together with others, Cancer. It’s about choosing peace and trusting your intuition right now to guide you forward. The Sun is in your 11th house in May, and you are thinking of the big picture and not letting anything get in the way of your vision or purpose. There is a New Moon at the start of the month in this area of your chart, and your power of manifestation is especially strong this month, so make sure you are following your true North and setting the intentions that feel right for you internally.
On May 23, Venus enters your 12th house of endings and closure, and love is about moving on and moving into more healing and emotionally receptive experiences. Relationship matters are moving through a transformation now, and you are learning a lot through your partnerships, both old and new, this month. There is a Full Moon on May 23 as well, and this Full Moon will be bringing up old work, projects, and intentions; it’s time to congratulate yourself for your successes and how far you come, as others will want to support you more right now as well.
LEO
Over the next month, you are getting the opportunity to stand your ground, speak up for yourself, and claim your space, Leo. This month is about being your biggest cheerleader and seeing yourself in the way you wish others to see you. The Sun is in your 10th house for most of May, and you are focused on taking action and going after your dreams right now. The New Moon on May 7 is a good time to set your intentions for said goals and dreams and to really believe in yourself.
On May 23, there is a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Sagittarius, happening in an area of your chart that has to do with your happiness, romance, creative self-expression, and overall joy for life. You are getting the full picture of where your priorities are or need to be, and are bringing more attention to the things that are going to truly make you happy and fulfilled at the end of the day. Jupiter enters Gemini on the same day where it will remain until 2025, and this move is expanding things for you when it comes to your friendships, community, and social networks.
VIRGO
May is a month of connecting with your soul and creating harmony in your life, Virgo. You are moving into a time of greater freedom and authenticity, and May is a good month for travel for you. With a New Moon in Taurus at the beginning of the month, you are expanding your horizons and gaining some much-needed inspiration. This is the time to do things differently and to not be afraid to take risks, and a leap of faith in yourself. You are feeling a little more optimistic in May, and this is creating an opening in your life.
On May 23, we have a Full Moon in your 4th house of home and family, and this is a good time for experiencing closure in this area of your life, and like things are coming full circle for you here. The first half of the month is all about adventure, and the second half of May, you are looking to build in your stability. Jupiter moves into your 10th house of career and success before the month ends, and you enter a year-long transit that will be positively influencing and expanding your reputation and goals in life.
LIBRA
May is an opportunity to learn, inspire, and spend some more time with the people who bring this energy out of you, Libra. The month begins with Pluto going retrograde in your 5th house of love, and you need some more time to grasp what is going on in your heart and how you can find your power in life here more. There is a lot to learn and discover this month, and the New Moon on May 7 will be an eye-opening and transformative moment for you where you can dive deep into your love life and commitments and see where a new beginning may be necessary.
There is a Full Moon happening later in the month and this Full Moon will be bringing forth spiritual guidance into your life. This is a Full Moon to connect, communicate, and share your insights and ideas with others. On May 25, Jupiter enters Gemini and moves into your 9th house of adventure, and you are entering a year of travel, enlightenment, spirituality, and higher education. Your mind is your gift right now; trust you have everything you need to experience greatness and be open to meeting new people who will help you get there.
SCORPIO
This month is about remaining open and receptive to what is possible for you and your future, Scorpio. You are in a good space to receive your due blessings and rewards, but your heart must be open to receive them. Your ruling planet, Pluto, goes retrograde at the start of the month on May 2, and this Pluto retro transit will allow you to rebuild your vision for the home, and help you figure out where you can bring more of yourself into your surroundings.
A lot of the energy of the month is in your opposite sign, Taurus, meaning it’s in your love and partnership zones.
May is one of the most significant months of love for you out of the year, and the intentions you set for your relationships on the New Moon this month will be creating magic in your love life for the rest of the year. On May 23, there is a Full Moon in the sign just after yours, bringing attention to your finances, income, and self-confidence in it all. The end of May is a time to focus a little more on your stability in life and to take a look at your finances. This is a good time to clean your purse or wallet, create some feng shui, and go over your assets.
SAGITTARIUS
Your guidance for the month is to go with the flow and trust your instincts, Sagittarius. The New Moon happening on the 7th is a new door opening for you, your health, and your daily routine, and you are focused on what is going to be best for you and your well-being overall. You are trusting your next steps ahead and remaining grounded with where things are in the meantime. It’s all about trust right now and how much of it you can have for yourself.
The Full Moon of the month will be in your sign on May 23rd, and this is a powerful Full Moon for you of closure, clarity, and self-confidence. You are letting go of what doesn’t resonate with who you are now and what you want to expand in your life. This is a good time to say your affirmations, meditate, and get out of your own head. Before the month ends, your ruling planet, Jupiter, enters your opposite sign, Gemini, and your love life gets an extra boost of good luck right now. Jupiter will be in your 7th house of partnership until 2025, and you are entering a year of harmony, Sagittarius.
CAPRICORN
Abundance is your birthright, and you are tapping into this energy this month, Capricorn. May is a month full of opportunities for you, and a lot of this good juju is coming through for you romantically right now. The Sun is in your 5th house of the heart for most of the month, and there is a New Moon here on May 7 as well.
At the beginning of May, make sure you are focused on communicating clearly, owning your passions in life, and having some more fun with love and the romance that wants to bloom for you here.
With Mercury entering your 5th house on May 15 as well, you could be receiving a surprise message or be having some interesting conversations right now that switch things up for you in love. On May 25, Jupiter moves into an area of your chart having to do with your health, lifestyle, and work life, and you are overall going to be coming into balance more here and experiencing some fortunate opportunities at work and within your daily routine. Overall, May is a month that is setting you up for success, Capricorn.
AQUARIUS
May is an opportunity for you to connect, move forward, and learn more about yourself and your heart, Aquarius. You are paying attention to the signs right now and making sense of things that may have gone past you before. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign as the month begins on May 2, you are someone who will be moving through a journey of self-discovery for the rest of the year and will be figuring out where your true power is in life and how to hone in on it more.
The New Moon in Taurus on May 7 is a new beginning for you and your home life, and a lot of this month will be about finding those people and spaces that feel like home to you and that make you feel supported in who you are. Jupiter enters a fellow air sign on May 25, and Jupiter in Gemini brings in a year ahead of romance, creativity, confidence, and finding your joy. Things are shifting big time in your life right now, but you are figuring out what works for you and what doesn’t.
PISCES
It's time to protect your energy and create boundaries where needed, Pisces. May is a month of checking in with yourself and emotionally regulating before moving forward. Pluto goes retrograde at the start of the month and will be retrograde in your 12th house of closure, secrets, and healing until October. What this means for you is a chance at clarity of the heart, but this transit can also bring up old issues or power struggles of the past. Remember to learn from past experiences and decide for yourself today how you want things to go for you from here.
There is a Full Moon in Sagittarius on May 23, and being a mutable sign like Sagittarius, you can tap into the potential of this Full Moon effectively. This is the time to turn a page within your career or professional world and see some resolution here. Before the month ends Jupiter enters your house of home, family, and history, and you are going to be opening your mind on these matters over the next year. You could be expanding the home, moving, or experiencing a deep sense of healing here now.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole