

All About Edging: The Ways Prolonging Pleasure Makes For Mind-Blowing Orgasms
Have you ever tried to stop yourself from having an orgasm…on purpose? I have and let me be the first to tell you how amazing of an experience it is. Edging is the practice of bringing yourself to the brink of orgasm without going all the way. Tension builds, pushing your mental and physical body to its edge—literally— delaying full gratification. I was introduced to edging by a past lover, who got a kick out of increasing my arousal without letting me orgasm. The buildup would literally make me feel like I was going to burst.
Think of edging like a rollercoaster. The orgasm is the adrenaline release you feel at the end of the big drop. As you slowly take the rollercoaster up toward the top of the hill, edging would be what happens when the rollercoaster climbs up for the big drop only for it to be a twist and turn instead. The buildup of anticipation is the difference between an amazing rollercoaster and a not-so-great one. The same holds true with edging, it's the determining factor for all earth-shattering orgasms.
What Exactly Is Edging?
The practice of edging has grown popular in the sexual health world as a form of “better orgasms,” however edging has been around for more than a half-century. In a 1956 paper published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, James H. Semans introduced the “stop-start method” to help people last longer before reaching orgasm. He suggests stopping sexual stimulation before orgasms, waiting about 30 seconds, and then stimulating yourself again, repeating until you’re ready to orgasm. On a more holistic level, edging can make you more aware of your own sexual responses both solo and with a partner, bringing mindfulness–a powerful tool–into the bedroom.
Having an orgasm for some women is easier said than done, but incorporating edging could make it less difficult to achieve. According to a 2014 study, women who masturbate are more likely to achieve orgasm during sex. 1 out of 96 women in that study reported it was easier to achieve orgasm during masturbation than partnered sex. As I say often, you have to get to know your body in order to know what arouses you. The best way to figure out what works for you is by trying out the edging technique during masturbation.
Masturbation provides the opportunity to get to know your own body better and what really sets it off when it comes to pleasure. Not only does it help increase the chances of having an orgasm, but including edging into solo play also helps to intensify them. OMGYes, a website focused on bringing attention to the female orgasm, reports that 66% of women who edge have longer, more intense orgasms.
The Benefits of Edging and Orgasm Control
Edging is also helpful for those who may prefer or need more time to get aroused. For example, people who experience premature ejaculation may find edging beneficial because it can increase the duration of sex before orgasm. A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that men last an average of 5.4 minutes before finishing during penetrative sex. In comparison, a 2019 study found that it takes women an average of 13 minutes and 25 seconds to have a real orgasm—almost three times as long.
Edging can help partners get in sync. Increasing the duration of sexual activity can also change the dynamics by shifting the focus. When someone senses they are about to orgasm, they can change the intensity by slowing down, changing position, or stopping altogether.
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How to Practice Edging Alone
There are several ways to practice edging and you can go about it however you'd like. If you want to explore edging by yourself, I suggest using your hands or a toy. It’s important to keep in mind to move slowly, paying close attention to your body’s signals. When you feel like you’re close to orgasm, that’s your cue to slow down or stop completely.
The next step is to cool down and rest to a point where your orgasm won't take over. Try breathing deeply or running your hands over your skin. Let your body simply enjoy a different form of touch. Think about what brought you close to orgasm, and note how your body feels. When you’re ready, you can start again and go through as many cycles as you like.
Love vibrators? Experiment with different speeds and pay attention to how your body reacts.
How to Edge With Your Partner
Edging with a partner can involve hands, mouths, and toys. Talk about how to signal when one of you needs a break. It can be a word or a gesture, whatever works best. Experiment with changing positions or intensity when one of you gets close to orgasm. Switch from penetrative sex to touch, or from oral stimulation to using a toy. You can repeat this cycle as many times as you’d like. The more cycles you go through, the more blood will flow into your pelvic area. This helps build excitement and can lead to more powerful orgasms.
Another edging technique is tantric sex. Tantric is all about going slow, being intentional, and tapping into the energy between your partner's body to enhance the experience of sex. To try tantric edging, inhale slowly as you're about to orgasm. While inhaling, try to visualize slowly pulling the orgasmic energy from your vagina or penis upward toward your head. Then go back to providing that direct stimulation, repeating this process again and again. In tantra, this is believed to help you experience a full-body orgasm.
Whether you want to try edging alone or with a partner, remember getting to know your body is always a good thing. Plus, edging leads to more intense orgasms, and who doesn’t want more intense orgasms?
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Smile, Sis! These Five Improvements Can Upgrade Your Oral Hygiene Instantly
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
In the crazy world of dating, so much attention is placed on the behavior during actual dates. Whether it is choosing the right outfit or making a good first impression, the focus tends to center on the in-person time spent together. But something that often gets overlooked is the significance of "between date behavior (BDB)." BDB is not just generic good morning text messages (that can be sent to 10 women in one minute), but rather text check-ins during the day and even nightly phone calls. This is the time when two people are apart but still find time for connection.
It is during these in-between moments that the foundation of a truly meaningful relationship is often built. A glaring example of what happens when there isn’t BDB is the early relationship between Carrie and Big from Sex and the City. At the beginning of the series, she was so hyper-focused on the time she spent together that she ignored that Big wasn’t calling or texting her often between dates. Instead, he would reach out and send cars based on his convenience… and not hers.
When it comes to dating, don’t be Carrie!
BDB in Dating
@datingcoachanwar BDB in Dating #datingtips #datingadvice #singleblackfemale #singleblackwoman #blackfemininity #femininityforblackwomen #blackdatingadvice #blackdating #singlelatina #singlelatinas
Please realize that 80-90% of your time will NOT be with your partner while seriously dating, so the BDB will also be a significant part of your relationship. Here are some other reasons why what happens when you're not together is just as, if not more, significant than the hours spent face-to-face…
One of the key factors that makes BDB so crucial is authenticity. When we are with someone on a date, it is easy to put on a front (show one’s representative), showcasing our best qualities and concealing our flaws. But it is in our day-to-day interactions, the text messages and phone calls, that our true selves shine through.
Consistency in behavior is an indicator of authenticity. And authenticity builds trust. And trust is the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship.
Speaking of trust, it is one of the foundations of a successful relationship. Building it doesn't happen in a single evening. It's the consistency in behavior between dates that solidifies trust. When your person consistently communicates, shows interest, and keeps it respectful in the moments between your dates, it is reassuring that your potential partner is seriously interested and invested in the relationship.
Also, in between dates, the channels of communication become lifelines that connect two people and nurture emotional intimacy. How you communicate and what you choose to communicate about can significantly impact a growing relationship. Consistent, thoughtful messages and meaningful conversations like sharing your thoughts, dreams, and vulnerabilities can help create a strong emotional bond. Being supportive and understanding during difficult moments can bring you closer together.
While the time spent on a date is super important, the BDB, I would argue, should not be slept on. It's the glue that holds the connection together, builds trust, and sets the stage for a healthy, long-lasting relationship. So, the next time you find yourself waiting for that next date, remember that the journey between those dates is just as significant, if not more so, in the grand scheme of building a meaningful connection.
Hope this helps!
Coach Anwar is a certified dating and relationship coach who has 13 years of experience helping Black and brown women date with strategy, meet relationship-ready men, and get into the best relationship of their lives.
To learn more, you can follow Coach Anwar on IG. Wanna work with Coach Anwar? Click here to book a dating consultation.
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