Tracee Ellis Ross
Hair Tales, the new OWN six-part docuseries hailing from the minds of noted documentarian and executive producer Michaela Angela Davis, media mogul Oprah Winfrey, and everyone’s best friend in their head Tracee Ellis Ross who produces and hosts the series, tells the beautifully complicated relationship Black women have with our hair through a historical, political, and sisterly context.
Each episode uses the story of a famous Black woman we’ve all come to love and adore as a conduit to discuss the larger cultural context in which our relationship with our hair exists. xoNecole has compiled a list of our favorite moments from the series packed with standout moments.
“Our strength, our beauty, our power is in our crowns … but we are not those things also” — Tracee Ellis Ross
In the episode centered around Representative Ayana Pressley, she speaks about the painful decision to cut off all her hair after suffering from alopecia totalis, which caused her hair to come out in clumps. However, Rep. Pressley’s journey of losing her hair liberated her, so much so that after wearing a wig on the house floor once, she decided from then on to show her head in all its glory.
“What I admired about women who changed up their hair a lot is that they were free” – Dr. Tiffany Gill
Our favorite Awkward Black Girl Issa Rae talks to Tracee about the decision to cut off all her hair over a decade ago. Her journey with her hair would intertwine with her personal and professional journey as she launched her hit web series with the premiere episode showing her character shaving off her hair. “I was born — I was reborn — in a new way,” she said. Looking at her hair throughout the years, you can track the evolution of Rae as a person by the varying hairstyles, as she has admitted in an interview that she started experimenting with her hair more as she learned more about it.
“If we can legislate hurt and harm, then we can legislate healing and justice” — Ayanna Pressley
The Crown Act, a bill co-sponsored by Pressley, seeks to end hair discrimination against Black people in schools and in the workplace. The bill, which is currently sitting in the Senate, if passed would be a bold step forward in combating toxic ideals about who or what is or isn’t considered to be professional. That not only could natural hair be beautiful, but it could also exist in the workplace and classrooms.
“I live in God’s dream for me” — Oprah Winfrey
The executive producer of Hair Tales Oprah Winfrey speaks about her own relationship with her hair, which dates back to her childhood. She was taught that straight long hair was what was considered to be the pinnacle of beauty. The award-winning host even recalled a moment early in her career when her boss insisted she straightened her hair, even going as far as to recommend plastic surgery in order to assimilate to white beauty standards.
Feature image by LaylaBird/ Getty Images
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Why Single Black Women Celebs Deserve More Than 'Why Aren't You Married' Questions
When you know your worth and value, you refuse to accept anything less than what you deserve. One thing about Tracee Ellis Ross (and so many Black women) is that she more than understands her value and has “no interest in being in a relationship just to be in a relationship.” She stated in a recent interview on Kevin Hart’s Hart to Heart show, “I’m a rare breed.”
Kevin did in fact give Tracee her flowers and celebrated her success throughout the interview, but at one point, the conversation started to feel as if a mystery was being explored through her vulnerability when the topic of relationships came up. The infamous question: why are you still single?
Although Kevin didn’t directly ask Tracee “why are you still single,” I wasn’t convinced that Kevin believed that Tracee could be successful, single, content, and not have something wrong with her. Sometimes, when you know who you are and stand in your truth, it’s hard for others to accept a reality that’s different from their own.
As Tracee started to share what a healthy relationship looks like for her, Kevin offered up a plethora of questions and assumptions:
“That’s why you’re not meeting them because you keep going to the jazz bar.” (jokingly)
“I think that you know what you want so much that it’s hard for a guy…you have no patience.” “How much patience do you have?”
“How fast is the off button?”
“How fast do you go there and say ‘I don’t like that’?”
Question after question, it seemed as if Kevin was determined to pinpoint the reason for Tracee’s singleness like a doctor trying to diagnose their patient. Never mind that she previously stated how she refused to settle and wasn’t looking for a relationship just for the heck of it. Never mind her success. Instead, the questioning suggested that something must be wrong with Tracee, which is often the assumption for so many successful Black women.
Unfortunately, a lot of these notions are driven by a history of patriarchy, misogyny, and antiquated views of women in society.
Kevin even went on to ask, “Are there triggers?” Talk about being triggered. Part of being triggered is when people try to tell you why you’re still single. News flash: men and women – whether single or married - have triggers, and triggers don’t just disappear especially when they’re rooted in childhood trauma and past experiences.
As if that wasn’t enough, the discussion of children also came up. At one point Kevin asked Tracee, “Are kids a thing?” Despite the nonchalant feeling behind the question, Tracee actually shared how she tried to have children on her own, as well as the “grief that came with it.”
Tracee stated, “I always thought a child would come out of ‘I love them so much.’ I did want kids but the window of desire has closed.” Nevertheless, she said she’s still open to the idea with the right person.
While I respect interviewers wanting to go deeper, some people don’t always understand how questions can open up wounds that people may not be prepared or want to discuss. Whether you’re a celebrity or not, you don’t always know what a woman has endured in order to get to where she is especially when it comes to having children.
It’s similar to the ridiculous statements I hear when people ask me, “Why don’t you have any children,” or “I guess you don’t want children.” There goes those assumptions again. People don’t think about the fact that some women have chosen not to have children, while some of us have been hit with the reality of infertility struggles, illnesses (actual diagnoses), and the fact that ultimately we are not in control.
Oftentimes, people assume women are single by force rather than choice, or that single women are overwhelmed with despair simply because of their single status. Despite the multitude of successes, the belief tends to be that there’s no way a woman can feel complete or truly be successful without being in a relationship.
However, success is not determined by your relationship status.
Singleness is not a synonym for sorrow.
Singleness is not a burden.
Singleness doesn’t mean 'unsuccessful.'
Whether it’s the self-proclaimed relationship guru on social media, the preacher in the pulpit, or a celebrity interviewer, Black women do not need the unsolicited, unprofessional, unsubstantiated so-called “diagnosis” and theories to try to explain their singleness. We’re not asking men the same questions. So, why are we repeatedly asking women?
While I’m a huge advocate that all of us – men and women – have to do the work to become better versions of ourselves, we shouldn’t support the narrative that something has to be wrong with you just because you’re single.
Despite all of the questioning, I loved how Tracee handled everything with humor and grace. As she so eloquently stated during the conversation: “We don’t have to be narrowed into what other people’s idea is of us [Black women]…I want people to feel good in their skin.”
My sisters, don’t allow anyone to make you feel like something’s wrong with you or that you’re “off track” just because your life looks different from theirs. People often project their plans and desires onto you based on what they want for themselves, but everyone’s journey is different. You don’t have to subscribe to other people’s timelines and societal pressures.
To the rest of the world, let Tracee Ellis Ross, and whoever else, live their lives, enjoy their success, and enjoy what they do have instead of constantly making them feel as if their success is less significant without a relationship.
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Featured image by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for PATTERN Beauty by Tracee Ellis Ross
Tracee Ellis Ross’ timeless beauty isn’t just in her genes, she also takes self-care seriously. If you take one glimpse at her Instagram page, you will see the actress working out, doing beauty treatments, and sharing her hair solutions with her Pattern Beauty line. From drinking lemon water to wearing little to no makeup, the black-ish star unveils all her self-care secrets in an interview with British Vogue.
Tracee Ellis Ross On How She Wakes Up In the Morning
“This is going to sound strange but I use my tongue scraper before I drink any water or eat. Then I like to have a glass of lemon water and take my supplements. I will also usually go and work out, and beforehand will try and eat something – you’re supposed to eat a little sugar, like apple sauce or something, and then take a protein shake after. I’m not a coffee drinker, so I don’t have a major morning routine, nor do I have kids or a dog right now – so it’s all about me.”
Tracee On Her Wellness Routine
“I meditate. I haven’t been as diligent recently because the pandemic messed with my routine, but I am very much one of those people. I also do Gyrotonics and Gyrokinesis – it’s sort of a connection to the body. I really believe that staying connected to my body is where I gain a sense of wholeness for myself.”
Tracee On Rituals That Help Her to Relax and Switch Off
“My biggest is a bath – I love them. I will take a bath at 5:30 in the morning, before work. I put magnesium flakes in because I work out so much. A really hot bath is a great gentle start to the day, and I also do this thing where I stand up in the bath and do a full cold rinse with the shower. It’s really good for you.”
Tracee On Her Secret to a Life Well-Lived
“Joy, as much laughter as possible, good sleep. [Being around] as many trees as possible and eating as much whole and beautiful food and you can. Friends and family. Oh, and beautiful clothes!”
Tracee Ellis Ross On Her Own Hair Routine
“For me, personally, I don’t wear any make-up on my skin. It’s usually earrings, lipstick, and hair – they are my best accessories. I believe for both my skin and hair that it’s all about hydration, hydration, hydration – I focus on the water I put in [my body] and the moisture that I put onto my skin and my hair.”
“I wash my hair maybe once a week, but because I work out so much I do a co-wash. I’m really big on deep conditioning so I will pick one of the conditioners and fill my hair with it. Often I’ll put on the moisture mask and do house chores. My hair routine is pretty simple: I wash, condition, and use the Pattern shower brush, which is my favorite. It creates the curls, then I use our leave-in conditioner and either let it air dry or diffuse it – I like it when it gets really fluffy and big. I often make it even bigger once it’s dry by using our hair pick and really getting into the root of the hair.”
“My hair is usually best on day one, so I leave it out, and then that night, before bed, I brush it out with a paddle brush and put a little bit of our Jojoba Oil in my hair. I don’t sleep with a cap or anything on. Then towards the rest of the week, I either braid or slick back – I love a slicked-back look. I think it’s so elegant. I travel and work out in a slicked-back look, and use the styling cream in the front so it gets nice and shiny, like satin.”
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Featured image by Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for H&M
Before Tracee Ellis Ross was the adored Rainbow on black-ish, she was the quirky and stylish Joan Clayton on Girlfriends that so many of us loved. Girlfriends was a sitcom that showcased four friends living in L.A. and navigating dating and friendships. The series which premiered in the fall of 2000 has had a lasting impact on the Black community thanks to its relatable characters and notable one-liners. After eight seasons, however, the beloved series ended abruptly with no explanation and no closure for fans.
Since then, many fans have called on the cast and its creator Mara Brock Akil for a proper exit, but unfortunately, nothing has been done about the situation. After 14 years, people are still talking about Girlfriends, and in an interview with Deadline, Tracee shed a little more light on what occurred during the time of its cancellation. "Our last episode that we shot was during the writers’ strike and I actually directed it,” she said. “It was my first time directing--it was not fun because it was really bizarre, it was surreal. But then we just kinda faded away."
She added, “We had 13 more episodes to do–we never did them. We didn’t have a wrap party. We didn’t know we were ending. The last moment wasn’t with all our writers and everybody. It was not sort of a ceremonial end.”
In 2019, the Girlfriends cast Tracee, Jill Marie Jones (Toni), Golden Brooks (Maya), and Persia White (Lynn) reunited for a special interview with Charlamagne Tha God after coming together to appear on black-ish. They all reflected on their time on the hit sitcom and of course, spoke about how it ended. Tracee shared that the lack of support outside of the Black community didn’t help when the show became canceled.
“Our show I don’t think was as important to them as it was to our community,” she said. “Girlfriends and our crew, the cast had so much diversity. We were led by Mara Brock Akil, by a Black woman, our writers’ room was majority Black women, our crew, our director of photography was a Black man…and it changed the way I go forward in my career because it was such an assumption and that’s not the way it is everywhere.”
The final episode showed Tracee’s character Joan get proposed to after years of failed relationships which made up the bulk of her storyline. And while fans were rooting for Joan to finally get her happy ending, they were robbed of a wedding. But Tracee has a different take on how her character’s storyline would have ended.
“So this is also maybe a little controversial for the fans. I don’t think that Joan has gotten married,” she said. “I think that Joan is actually happy in herself. I don’t think she’s had a child, and I don’t think she’s gotten married. And I think that it sets the example of 'It’s okay, the happy ending does not mean that you ride off with a man on a horse.' And I think that Joan might have given up a lot of her money stuff, and is living kind of moderately in her world and she’s just happy, and maybe her friends are her thing.”
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Featured image by Karwai Tang/Getty Images
Historically, young girls have been spoon-fed images of marriage and rarely dream of anything else. The white wedding gown, the groom, the beautiful ceremony and of course the big family and even bigger house. While marriage is a beautiful thing and can be something to aspire to, women shouldn’t be limited to just one dream. There are women like Tracee Ellis Ross who are proof that you can live a fulfilling life without a husband or kids.
In recent years, the black-ish actress has been viewed as what many women call the “rich auntie.” No husband, no kids, just vibes. And while she still gets questioned about not being married, more women are speaking out about not wanting a family and the number is growing. Pew Research Center’s 2021 report showed that 44% of people ages 18 to 49 say that it’s unlikely or “not too likely” that they’ll have children. Back in 2021, Tracee did an interview with Harper’s BAZAAR about not having different images of what happiness and success can look like for women.
"I didn't see enough examples of different versions of how a woman can find happiness and joy and power and sensuality, sexuality, all of that, without it being through the lens of how I'm seen by a man,” she said. “People are like, 'You're the poster child for being single.' And I was like, 'Great.' But what I would prefer is that I'm the poster child for living my life on my terms. And that there's a version of that for everyone.”
And she is living her best life! At 49, she has starred in many successful television shows and earned three NAACP Image Awards, and was also nominated for multiple Emmy awards. She created her own hair care line Pattern. Not to mention, she started her career in fashion as a runway model walking in shows such as the legendary Thierry Mugler. But if you look at her Instagram page, you will see that she enjoys traveling, fashion, spending time with family and friends, and making people laugh.
And while she has accomplished so much, she feels that she may have reached her goals a lot sooner had she not been so focused on her dream wedding.
Tracee opened up about that in the cover story of the spring 2022 issue of InStyle. “Culturally, young girls are taught to dream of their wedding and not the life they want to be living or the people they want to become," she said. "And I was not spared that messaging as a child — not from my mom or my dad, but from the world that we lived in. I spent a lot of time dreaming of my wedding. I can only imagine how much more I would've dreamt of — or how much sooner I would've got to some of my dreams — had we been in the conversation that we're in now, had I had people like myself and others to hear from as different examples of how to cultivate happiness and joy and a life that matches you."
At the end of the day, Tracee is her own dream and continues to inspire other women who desire the same joy, success, and passion the actress possesses. With the end of black-ish, we now await what The High Note star has in store for us next.
“I'm really proud of who I've become as a woman that, at 49 years old, I can hold both the grief for what hasn't happened and also the joy for what is happening. I'm present in my experience with a sense of wholeness I really could not have imagined when I was growing up because I had a lot of discomfort in my skin,” she said.
“I actually feel comfortable in my skin now. If you had told me that was going to happen, I don't know that I would've believed you.”
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Featured image by Taylor Hill/WireImage via Getty Images
Tracee Ellis Ross Opens Up About Being Too Shy To Follow In Diana Ross’ Footsteps
We all know and love Tracee Ellis Ross for her vivacious personality that keeps us laughing, her gorgeous beauty that keeps us in awe, and her skilled acting that keeps us glued to our TV screens. And while she is already viewed as an impeccable talent, there is one skill she has tucked away for years, singing. Being the daughter of the incomparable singer and actress Diana Ross, it’s no surprise that Tracee too has the talent of singing.
However, being Diana’s daughter is the reason why she doesn’t really share that part of herself. The black-ish actress sat down with Jimmy Fallon on his late-night talk show to dish on her new single “Legacy” and how singing makes her feel.
“Legacy” is a song about loving and celebrating natural hair, which she dropped for her hair care line Pattern Beauty.
“The song is about the ritual of hair care, self-care, and that authentic legacy that we come from that when you sit down between the legs of your mother and get your hair done–,” she said before breaking into song. She then stopped herself when Jimmy and the audience began applauding noting that singing makes her feel “nervous and sweaty.”
She added, “I come from a legacy of quite a powerhouse singer lady,” referring to her mom Diana.
After sharing the story of the time she was a child and shied away from singing with her mom during one of her performances, she recalled another story when she was in high school.
“I was so shy and then I finally sang at a talent show in high school and I started too high and my voice cracked and the entire school was like (chanting) ‘Tracee, Tracee,’” she said.
“My friend had to come on stage and hug me and I tried again and then I took a break for 35 years,” she joked.
But this isn’t the first time that Tracee took another stab at singing. In 2020, the Girlfriends star made her singing debut in the film The High Note. In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, Tracee shared how terrified she was to play a singer in the film.
“I’ve always wanted to sing,” she said. “It was a childhood dream that I don’t know when or why I put aside. I mean, I understand why it was scary for me with my mom being Diana Ross, those are very big shoes to fill. I think I was worried about the comparison.”
Watch The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon interview below:
Featured image by Handout/Getty Images
