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Feeling Lonely During The Holiday Season? We Got You.
Upon reading the title of this article, you might've immediately thought that it was a shout-out to all singles this holiday season. Eh. Not quite. For one thing, that got covered last year (check out "A Single Girl's Guide To Getting Through The Holiday Season"). Second, we all know that 2020 wasn't your typical year—not by a long shot—and so, I wanted to approach feeling lonely from a bit of a different angle this time; especially after recently reading a New York Times piece entitled, "Combating an Epidemic of Loneliness". One of the things that it mentioned was while human beings cannot go more than three minutes without air, three days without water and three weeks without food, interestingly enough, we also cannot go more than three weeks without some form of companionship. And y'all, we've been officially quarantining since March. And as you well know, it is now…December.
Something that I've found myself saying, pretty much on repeat, ever since the summer is, while 2020 was a trip-and-a-half, 2021 is also sure to have its own customized bullshishery between the evictions, financial struggles and mental health side effects that will come from having to endure so much from these past several months (and this current administration) alone. Knowing this can bring on a different kind of loneliness—whether you share your living space with someone or not.
So, as we're literally just days away from Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, if something just doesn't feel quite right within, first, know that you aren't alone (again, not by a long shot) and second, here are some suggestions that can hopefully make this holiday season just a little bit easier to endure.
What Are Some Telling Signs That You’re Battling Loneliness?
Something that I get for the "little friends" in my life is a feelings chart. Unfortunately, a lot of us didn't grow up with parents who weren't emotionally intelligent enough to even know what they were feeling, so they couldn't really teach us emotion-related words beyond happy, sad, and angry (didn't know how to model any others appropriately either). So, as adults, some of us really struggle with discerning which emotion we're experiencing at any given time. That's why I think it's important to share what some signs of loneliness actually are. Not to patronize you; just for clarity's sake.
People who are lonely tend to struggle with sleeping soundly at night. Constantly being online rather than interacting with people you have a "real" relationship with can trigger loneliness. If you make mountains out of molehills, that can be a sign of overthinking which can result from feeling isolated and lonely. A weakened immune system can be a sign of loneliness. Constantly binge-watching television is a sign of loneliness. Did you know that being around negative individuals can also make you feel lonely (which is how married folks can feel lonely)? Interestingly enough, shying away from intimacy—physical or emotional—is also a sign of loneliness (many people see it as a way of protecting themselves from further relational disappointment).
Another reason why it's so important to know these kinds of things is so you don't assume that feeling depressed is the only indication of loneliness. It absolutely is not. If you notice that you're going through any of the things that I just shared, and you can't connect these instances to any specific instance, it very well could be that you are dealing with loneliness—the feeling that comes over you when you feel like you are lacking in some level of sympathy, support or companionship.
Figure Out If It’s About the Holidays or Something Deeper
Now that we've touched on some not-so-surface signs of loneliness, it's important to spend some time figuring out what's causing it for you specifically. Again, if you said it's simply PTSD from dealing with 2020, I would totally get that. Plus, there is something that is literally known as "holiday depression". Whether it's the changes in the seasons and time (which can trigger seasonal depression); watching all of the Christmas Hallmark movies where everyone seems boo'ed up and full of Christmas cheer; reflecting on past memories—good or bad—with loved ones; having a hard time keeping up with your coins; thinking back on what you wanted to accomplish over the past year and quite possibly didn't—again, it makes perfect sense why this may be the time of year when you feel lower than the rest of it.
Another spin is having a few days off around Christmas and New Year's Day may cause you to slow down enough to actually feel what you've been ignoring for the past several months. This is why it's important to make some time to really process what the source of your loneliness actually is. What I mean by that is, even if you feel isolated, detached or like no one really "sees you" or "gets you" right now, what initially got you to feeling that way? Journaling is something that can help you in this area. There is something else that you can do as well. This brings me to my next point.
Let Someone Know What’s Going On
The times in my life when I've felt lonely, it's weird. While I was feeling like no one had my back, I also didn't want to reach out to people who I knew, deep down, actually did. That's the thing about loneliness—from an emotional standpoint, it tends to encourage you to remain in the state that you are in which ultimately only makes matters worse in the long run.
Sometimes, when you feel like you're out here, all alone, loneliness will tell you that reaching out to someone else—especially during the holiday season—is selfish and inconsiderate. Don't let it lie to you like that. People who truly care about you don't take days off, and while they may be more preoccupied than usual, that doesn't mean that you don't matter to them or that they don't want to help you if you need it.
So, whether it's an emotionally safe family member, friend, or reputable life coach, counselor, or therapist, if you just can't seem to "shake" what you're going through, don't hesitate to let someone know that. Sometimes, just having someone sympathize or even empathize with your situation can help to get you on the path to getting out of the rut that you are in.
Whatever Makes You Feel Better? DO THAT.
While it's kind of another article for another time, there is a fine line between doing things that will mask your loneliness (like going on shopping sprees you can't afford, drinking or smoking a lot of weed or engaging in reckless sex or even sex that serves as nothing more than a temporary distraction) vs. doing things that will help you to feel less lonely. Still, when it comes to Column B, there are beneficial ways to make holiday season depression a lot easier to bear. Today, I'll list 10 of 'em.
Pamper yourself. It reminds you that you are important and deserve self-care.
Get off social media and actually connect with a human. OK, there is still a pandemic going on; however, meeting up with someone to go on a winter walk or setting up an appointment to watch a favorite throwback movie with a friend over Zoom (so that you can share the same screen) can get you past being on IG or Twitter all day long. It can make it easier to have personal conversations too.
Take some real time off from work (at least 3-4 days). You would think that getting off of the grid and being quiet would only make you feel lonelier but actually, overworking yourself can cause you to feel overwhelmed which can put more pressure on you and can actually make you feel worse. So yeah, time off is also a helpful tip for overcoming feelings of loneliness.
Do some minor house upgrades. Purchase some items for your home that are in your favorite color. Get some soy-scented candles that can help to lighten your mood (citrus, jasmine, peppermint, vanilla, cinnamon, lavender, and cedarwood are all beneficial). Invest in some new bedding (so that you can sleep better). Get a couple of plants (they are proven to improve your mood and increase productivity and creativity). Buy things that will encourage you to be more active like new cooking utensils or some arts and crafts.
Pray and meditate. Sometimes, remembering that there is a power higher than you, can take the pressure off of feeling like you have to do everything—including figuring out how to feel better—alone.
Switch up your diet a bit. It's pretty common that when we're in a bad mood, our diet pretty much sucks. Sugary drinks like sodas and even a lot of fruit juice can cause our energy levels to skyrocket and then instantly crash. Anything from a white grain (like bagels, doughnuts, or even white bread or white pasta) are carbs that turn into sugar (and ultimately do what I already said about sugary drinks). Baked goods are made from refined sugars and saturated oils which can result in emotional roller coaster rides. Margarine contains processed saturated fats which can cause your blood sugar levels (and your moods) to be all over the place. Fast food can ultimately make you feel sluggish and lethargic. So, what in the world can you eat that will give you a bit of a pick me up instead? Good question. Articles on our platform like "In A Bad Mood? These Foods Will Lift Your Spirits!" and "Eating Well: 10 Foods That Can Improve Your Mental Health" can help to get you back on track.
Get a pet. Sometimes, being responsible for something else can help to make you feel more necessary and valuable. Pets are great at offering unconditional love too.
Treat yourself this holiday. Something else that can trigger feelings of loneliness around this time of year is feeling like you have to think so much about everyone around you that your own needs end up taking the back burner. Release this toxic mindset because it's totally untrue. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting a few Christmas gifts for yourself in order to put a bit of a smile on your face. In fact, I encourage it.
Have sex. Not "needy sex". What I'm saying is that if you're in an exclusive relationship, sex can also lift your spirits, and de-stress you, and, ladies, giving head (until completion) is like taking the ultimate multivitamin. It really can't be said enough.
Create a sleep routine. Loneliness that results in sleepless nights that only lead to you feeling worse the next day can be a bit of a vicious cycle. That's why it's not a good idea to wait until you "feel like going to bed" before turning in at night. It's important to actually cultivate a sleep routine. Soak in the tube. Get offline. Sip some herbal tea. Read a book. Go to bed at the same time. Get naked (so that you don't overheat). RELAX. A good 6-8 hours of rest is a miracle resolution for loneliness that isn't praised nearly enough.
Remember That This Too Shall Pass
While I'd be lying to you if I came up with a timeframe for how long bouts of loneliness tend to last, what I will say is getting a ballpark idea depends on what's triggering it in the first place. If it's a break-up, it kind of depends on how long the relationship was (and if you're dealing with it or denying it); however, a couple of months does tend to turn the "wound" into a "scab". If it's due to seasonal depression, you should feel more like yourself come spring. If it's because you're hormonally all over the place, altering your diet and making an appointment to see your doctor can definitely help. If it's because of the holidays, well, those will be over in just a few days. If you are disappointed in yourself—using this time to think about what you love about you and writing down some goals for what you'd like to achieve next year can be helpful.
You know the main thing that you need to do, though? Remember that this feeling won't last forever. Like I once heard Dylan McKay's mom say on an episode of Beverly Hills, 90210, "Even despair exhausts itself." It might not feel like it right now but be gentle with yourself, be forgiving of yourself, be compassionate towards yourself. Feeling lonely is nothing to feel ashamed about or be scared of. You feel like you're not getting support so again, reach out for some. And yes, remember sis, that like all seasons of life, this too shall pass.
Now get yourself a cup of hot cocoa, snuggle under a cable knit blanket and call a friend. I'm pretty sure they would be happy to hear from you. Especially since it's the holiday season.
Featured image by Shutterstock
After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (missnosipho@gmail.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
This New Scalp Care Line Is Exactly What Your Wash Days Need
This post is in partnership with SheaMoisture.
When it comes to healthy hair care, there are a few things that will help you achieve healthy strands: a healthy hair care regime, hydration, consistent treatments, and scalp care. While scalp care is one of the most neglected practices, it is also one of the most important. Why? Because it helps promote healthy hair growth, clear hair follicles, and remove build-up.
When it comes to creating a healthy scalp routine, it helps to know exactly what you’re up against so you know how to specifically treat it. Two of the most common concerns are dandruff and dry scalp. It can be tough to decipher which is which, but here’s a quick breakdown: dry scalp is caused by a lack of moisture in the skin, while dandruff is caused by an excess of oil and yeast buildup on the scalp. Knowing that both of these are big concerns, SheaMoisture released two separate product lines to address both issues: the Scalp Moisture collection and the Anti-Dandruff collection.
Needless to say, if you tend to experience dandruff then I’d recommend you try the Anti-Dandruff collection. However, my biggest concern has always been dry scalp. A lack of moisture on the scalp can be caused by several factors like weather, age, and hair products to name a few. I’ve noticed that when I use certain gels or skip out on a deep scalp cleanse, my roots feel itchy and dry nonstop, which is uncomfortable.
The only way to relieve the discomfort is to properly wash and moisturize my roots, so I tried the Scalp Moisture collection and this is what I thought.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
First, What’s In The Collection?
The Scalp Moisture collection is a four-product line that includes a pre-wash masque, a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, and a moisturizing scalp cream. Each product uses moisturizing and strengthening ingredients like aloe butter and vitamin B3 as active ingredients to provide eight times the moisture. Together, aloe butter and vitamin B3 work to restore dry and brittle hair, as well as add relief to the scalp.
Now, let’s break down each product…
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque may actually be the all-star of the collection. Using this deep conditioning masque is one of the best ways to target your dry scalp, restore hydration, and nourish your strands before shampooing.
I started by completely saturating my hair and scalp with water, then making small sections to apply the masque directly to the root. For my girls who have experience with relaxers and perms, it helps to apply the masque to your roots just like you would do with a relaxer. This way you can make sure you’ve covered as much of your scalp as possible while minimizing any breakage.
Pro tip: you can also use a color application brush to make this step easier.
After I completely covered my scalp, I massaged the product into my roots, used any excess on my strands, then left the masque in for 30 minutes. I was shocked by how moisturizing and clarifying my scalp and hair felt. One of the things that I love about the masque is the slip and how much softer it made my hair. While this is marketed as a scalp care product, it can completely transform your hair from dry and parched to completely hydrated.
In my opinion, the downside of this masque is that the quantity is too small for my liking. Truth be told, naturals go through deep conditioners faster than any other product (especially when it’s this good.) So SheaMoisture, if you’re reading this, we’d love a bigger jar.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Shampoo
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Shampoo is a gentle cleanser packed with the same moisture as the masque. The pearl-colored shampoo is lightweight with a serum-like consistency and a light and clean scent. The smell is pleasant, subtle, and not overbearing. When I applied the shampoo, I noticed immediately that it foams and lathers up very quickly, so less is more.
After applying the shampoo, I parted my hair and started at the roots to target as much of my scalp as possible. I recommend really taking the time to work the product and massage your scalp as much as possible.
Pro tip: using a scalp massager makes it easier and it feels amazing.
Once you start to massage your hair you’ll feel the product start to work. There’s a tingling sensation that might catch you off guard if you’re not used to it, but it’s not nearly as strong as other scalp products I’ve tried. I know some may not appreciate the sensation, but I loved it! My scalp felt clean, light, and breathable.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Conditioner
Like the shampoo, the SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Conditioner shares that pearly color and serum-like feel. It applies very easily while softening and moisturizing your hair. When I applied it to my hand, it gave my hands a lotion-like feel, which speaks volumes about its hydration capabilities. I also loved that the conditioner comes with a pump, instead of having to squeeze the product out – to me, it makes application easier.
I typically apply my conditioner to the ends first but because this is a scalp care product I started at the root and worked my way down to my ends. I did leave the conditioner in for ten minutes, although the bottle recommends leaving it in for three. The conditioner also provides that same breathable feel to your scalp. I honestly loved the relief.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Cream
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Cream is more of a daily relief product for your roots rather than your overall hair. It’s great for providing moisture and immediate relief to a dry and itchy scalp. Just like most of the collection, it gives a light and breathable feel – without the tingle. The applicator bottle targets specific parts of your scalp and makes applying easier.
Pro tip: I typically just squeeze the bottle to wherever I need the relief and use the tip to massage it into my scalp so it doesn’t mess up the hairstyle.
Overall, SheaMoisture’s scalp care line lives up to its claims – it moisturizes, strengthens, and provides immediate scalp relief. I definitely recommend trying the Scalp Moisture collection for an affordable way to treat itchy and dry scalp.
Featured image by Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Before You Talk About What You 'Deserve'...Do You Know What That Even Means?
Even though I don’t do the social media thing (that might change when I release my third book, mostly for the purpose of the book…we’ll see), I will tiptoe on out there a few times a week to see what folks are talking about — and y’all, if I see one more TikTok of someone waxing poetic about all of the things that they think they’re entitled to, just because they believe that they deserve ‘em, I think I’m gonna either scream, throw my laptop against the wall…or both.
Anyone reading this who is also a writer probably gets that one of the most stressful things about entertaining or engaging in online activity is the fact that you’re watching people write and say words all day long, yet you can tell that many of them are not word-literal (meaning they don’t really get what certain words literally mean). And when it comes to the word “deserve,” it’s a great example of what I’m talking about. Why? Well, just because you up and decide that you should have…whatever it is that you want at any given moment, based on what the word deserve actually means, that doesn’t mean that you should automatically have it.
That’s why I appreciate a particular quote by Nigerian entrepreneur Tara Fela-Durotoye. When it comes to the topic that we’re about to explore today, she once said, “Life never gives you what you deserve but what you decided.” And as you’re about to see, in just a few moments, there is a lot of wisdom wrapped up in that very simple-yet-pretty-profound sentence.
Let’s Revisit the Actual and Literal Definitions of “Deserve”
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So, before I get into what it actually means to be deserving of something (or someone), take a moment to ponder what you think it means whenever you say that you’re deserving of something. What would make you deserving of a particular job? What would make you deserving of a certain kind of relationship? Do you deserve it just because you merely exist, or is there more to the word than that?
- According to Google’s English Dictionary, deserve means “do something or have or show qualities worthy of (reward or punishment).”
- According to Dictionary, deserve means “to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation.”
- According to Merriam-Webster, deserve means “to be worthy, fit, or suitable for some reward or requital.”
Hmm, looks to me like deserving requires some effort on the deserver’s part, and in order to accept that, some self-awarenessand humility (which we’ll get into in a bit) would need to be in place. It also seems to me that no one is deserving of something or one simply because they feel or think that they are.
Deserving goes so much deeper than that. You must be qualified. You must be worthy. You must be suitable.
Do You Qualify? Are You Worthy? What Makes You Suitable?
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Let me show you how ridiculous egomania is. Imagine being the CEO of a company and interviewing someone for a management position. When you ask them if they have any experience, they say “no.” When you ask them what their educational background is, they say they have none. When you ask them to describe to you what the position actually requires on a day-to-day basis, they nonchalantly shrug their shoulders. Oh, the smugness. Like why did they even waste your time?
As a relationships writer and marriage life coach, this is how I feel when I watch certain videos (and counsel certain people) with people who come up with these outlandish relational expectations, all the while boldly professing that they deserve it. What makes you deserving? Just because you decided that you are? Again, that’s not how the word — or world — works.
- To be deserving, you must be qualified. This means that you have the type of qualities that make you a good fit for something or someone.
- To be deserving, you must be worthy. This means that you have merit, character, and value.
- To be deserving, you must be suitable. This means that you are appropriate, fitting, and becoming for whatever the occasion may be.
Now to be fair, you do have some value just by existing, or you wouldn’t be on this planet. The reason why I say that is because I wholeheartedly believe that every human being has a purpose, and purpose brings forth value. However, when it comes to everything else that I just shared, the fascinating thing about the word “deserve” is no one gets to decide, alone, if they are deserving of most things or not — others have a say as well.
Back to the fictitious job that I mentioned a second ago. Say that you are the one who is being interviewed. You can’t just roll up and tell someone that they should hire you because you think you’ve got the qualities, merit, character, and things that they would deem appropriate and fitting for the job; they would have to assess and then agree with you.
Same thing goes for a relationship. Say that you want a 6-6-6 man. Do you really think you should have one just because you desire him? Doesn’t he actually get a say in the matter? According to all of the definitions of deserve, he 1000 percent does. He gets to think about if your character is attractive to him. He gets to determine if you would be becoming to his lifestyle. Yeah, contrary to how people have been misusing and, quite frankly, manipulating the word “deserve,” it’s actually quite the reality check when you let it sink into your psyche and spirit. To deserve something requires a ton of self-work and consistent effort.
Not only that but the more of something that you think that you deserve, the more you may end up getting your feelings hurt if you’re not careful. Why do I say that? Keep reading.
Be Careful: High Expectations Have a Way of Boomeranging
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Not too long ago, while in an interview, a woman went down a long list of all of the things that she said she deserved in a relationship. Truly, it never ceases to amaze me how men, for the most part, will stick to no more than 3-5 things that they want in a woman/relationship while so many women will have super long Old Testament scrolls (what in the world?!). Anyway, one of the things she said that she deserves is to be taken to a high-end restaurant at least 2-3 times a week and that she also deserves a take-out budget for when they do eat at home.
Me: “So, what if he wants you to cook some evenings?”
Her: “I’m not anyone’s slave. Also, I don’t cook.”
First up, if you read what she said and agreed with her, I’m gonna make a request of you both, and that is to retire the word “slave” when it comes to domesticated things. Good lord, your ancestors — the ones who actually were slaves — would roll over ten times in their graves to hear you comparing what they endured to making some damn lasagna. Relax. Besides, there are videos all over the internet that can teach you what you don’t know. Life isn’t as hard as it used to be before the information age. Buying cookbooks or going to the library is not something that you have to deal with anymore.
Second, studies show that cooking is healthier and cheaper than eating out all of the time, so whether you’re single or not, learning how to cook will benefit you and your lifestyle in the long run. No one said that you had to be a chef, yet at least know how to make some basic things. It’s not about “being back in the '50s,” it’s actually called adulting.
And third, so why is it that you deserve to be wined and dined all of the time, yet “he” doesn’t deserve a home-cooked meal sometimes too?
Why is “deserve” only a one-way street? IT’S NOT. And that’s why I said that when it comes to your list of what you expect, based on what you feel that you deserve, you should be careful because the higher your expectations are, the more that thing or person may require of you in return…and that’s not something that many people consider. Not by a long shot.
I know this because a lot of them are clients of mine. So many folks were so concerned with (if not consumed by) all of what they wanted in a spouse that they never really considered what their partner would want/need in return — and because they went into the relationship one-sided, now everything is basically lopsided. And rather than them finding ways to compromise so that both people can be happy, their sense of entitlement believes that divorce is the answer…so that they can run out and repeat the pattern (because divorce rates increase by about 20 percent per marriage…no joke).
Yeah, if you’re really paying attention to everything that’s being shared here, I hope you’re getting that deserve is not some fairy tale word that you can say and “poof!” things instantly appear. People who think they deserve certain things must humble themselves to become what they deserve. That’s what makes them (better) qualified.
Humility Is Never a Bad Thing
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This culture is so wack. Contrary to how the media acts out here, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being humble. In fact, according to Scripture, humility is what gives people access to lasting riches, honor, and life (Proverbs 22:4). So, what does it look like to actually be a humble individual?
- Humble people aren’t greedy
- Humble people are consistently grateful
- Humble people aren’t arrogant
- Humble people aren’t envious of others
- Humble people are flexible
- Humble people can take correction
- Humble people will admit when they are wrong
- Humble people listen more than they speak
- Humble people don’t make everything about themselves all of the time
- Humble people know there is a greater power than themselves in the universe
HUMBLE PEOPLE ARE TEACHABLE, and yes, I am yelling it. Now think about all of the “I deserve” social media videos that you’ve seen over the past month or so — how many of those individuals seemed humble at all? Again, they weren’t using the right word; they don’t deserve whatever it is they are talking about…they simply feel entitled to it because their character alone reveals that they are far from being deserving. Humble people see what needs to be done to match what it is that they want. In other words, they don’t expect what they themselves are not. To those with maturity and common sense, to do so would be close to ridiculous.
So yeah, if you’re out here declaring what you deserve, take a moment and ask yourself, 1) how much humility are you applying to your perspective and 2) how much energy are you putting into making sure that you are a mirror reflection of what it is that you think you are deserving of? Because you’d be amazed how much your ego will soften when you actually put forth the blood, sweat, and tears that it takes to actually prepare for what it is that you think you deserve.
Where Does Your “Deserve List” Actually Come From?
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As I begin to wrap this all up, now that you see “deserve” from a more realistic and less embellished place, tell me something — has it altered your deserve list or at least challenged you to have a bit less of an egotistical attitude about it? And if so, when you really stop to think about what you’ve been thinking that you’re deserving of, is it about what you want — or what the media, your friends, and/or random outside influences have told you that you desire?
For instance, do you deserve a six-figure man (for starters, do you make that much?), or is it that you deserve someone who will provide for and protect you because you plan to be the kind of partner who will complement, support, and fuel him to do so? Sit with that question for a moment. Do you see how different the energy is between the two resolves? If you were the universe, which person would you want to actually reward?
I promise you that, not until social media came onto the scene, have I heard so many people be so arrogant about what they think they deserve thanks (but no thanks) to what they saw on an IG post, heard a reality TV person say or based on the smoke-and-mirrors of a television program. So many people think they deserve what they’ve been told to want — not what they actually should or realistically need…and that’s honestly a damn shame.
Does this mean that I’m encouraging you to settle? Nope. Not at all. All I’m saying is that deserve is more than a notion and whatever it is that you purpose in your mind and/or publicly declare that you do deserve, you need to make sure that you’ve got the moxie to back it up.
Because in order to truly deserve it — whatever it is — you’ve got to have the qualities, character, and suitability to prove it. And that requires more than lip service. SO MUCH MORE.
Y’all be — and then stay — humble out here…ya hear?
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