

The Sun travels through meticulous Virgo for most of September before moving into charming Libra on the 23rd. On the 14th, the Full Moon in Pisces has us deep in our feels while Mercury and Venus cozy up in the sky, helping us to harmonize areas of our lives that have been in distress. Saturn, Lord of Karma, goes direct on the 18th, lending positive results to those that have been putting in the work.
Things get a little hazy around the 21st, so be mindful of unrealistic expectations. Remember that faith without work is dead. Tensions are rising around the 28th between what is expected of you and what your soul is calling you to do. The New Moon at the end of the month helps you find the balance between the two.
Check out your monthly horoscope below to see what September has in store for you!
Aries
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Most of your month is spent prioritizing your work-life balance, with the Sun transiting through hard-working Virgo. On the 14th, the Full Moon in Pisces has your spidey-senses tingling. Intuition is heightened and your dreams provide vivid insight into past life karma that has reached its expiration date. Surrender is the name of the game and this Full Moon is meant to test how far you've come in your self-mastery, challenging you to relinquish control. Mercury moves into Libra on the same day and you're focused on bringing more balance into your close relationships. Venus, planet of love and money, also moves into this part of your chart which helps you attract good fortune through the relationships you build. Business deals are solidified and harmony is restored within your significant relationships.
On the 18th, Saturn goes direct, helping you achieve some forward momentum in your career field. If you've been putting in the work, the recognition will slowly start rolling in. Leading up to the 21st, be mindful of unrealistic expectations of others—especially those you look up to for spiritual guidance. You don't need a middle man to validate your connection to God and the cosmos. Around the 28th, tensions are rising due to the demands of your home life, relationships, and career but peace can be found by being honest about your personal limits. The New Moon on the 28th invites you to increase the quality of your relationships by taking on a win-win approach for both parties. This time could also indicate the start of a new job, business partnership, or significant relationship with someone that has long-term potential.
Taurus
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The month begins with most of your attention going towards creative projects, children (or your inner child), and romance. The Full Moon on the 14th illuminates your social circle, making it glaringly clear who's on #TeamTaurus and who's not. Mercury and Venus move into Libra on the same day, helping you find a better flow in your work-life balance over the next month. This is a good time to schedule your annual health screening and finally try out that detox you've been holding off on. Health is wealth and it's well worth sacrificing that extra glass of wine you have for dinner every day.
On the 18th, Saturn goes direct, pushing forward any international travel plans. Over the next several months, you've got the opportunity to flex what you've been learning behind the scenes. It's time to publish that book, teach that class, or share your wisdom as a mentor for someone following in your footsteps. Be mindful of wishful thinking around the 21st. Your deep desire to be a part of a community may have you settling for connections that aren't an accurate reflection of your values and expectations of your social circle. Around the 28th, you may experience some inner, or outer, conflict pertaining to different belief systems. Be respectful of others' sovereignty and avoid getting into any drama with people more intent on proving a point than gaining understanding. The month wraps up with a New Moon inviting you to plant the seeds for long-lasting results for your overall health and well-being.
Gemini
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Most of the attention is on home and family this month, as the Sun transits through analytical Virgo. Cut your folks some slack and ease up on being too demanding of your loved ones. On the 14th, the Full Moon gives you some insight into something that's been holding up your career progression. This revelation could result in you ditching one career path and transitioning into a new opportunity more suited for your long-term goals. Mercury and Venus move into this same part of your sky highlighting creativity, children, and romance. Your charm is at its peak so if you're open to love; the next month favors your efforts. Inspiration will also be at a high, so make it work to your advantage to get back into some of those projects you've put on the back-burner.
On the 18th, Saturn goes direct and you are finally ready to come out of your cocoon after doing some much-needed, and often uncomfortable, soul-searching related to intimacy and sexual expression. Try not to have your head caught up in the clouds around the 21st. Your expectations in career and relationship aren't necessarily unrealistic but it's best that you be as logical as possible, especially when it comes to timing! Around the 28th, tension is rising and you're feeling pulled in opposing directions—specifically as it pertains to the resources you've accumulated and what you may feel obligated to share with others. An outstanding debt may also need your attention at this time. Do your best to be proactive instead of avoiding your responsibility. The month ends with a New Moon inviting you to lay the groundwork for that creative project or meet someone new if you're open to dating.
Cancer
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Communication and learning is your top priority for most of the month as the Sun travels through meticulous Virgo. On the 14th, the Full Moon in your sister sign grants you the spotlight to share your knowledge or to complete a course you've been taking. If you've been having any issues with immigration or foreign affairs, your resolution is here. Mercury and Venus move into Libra on the same day, putting your focus on home and family. If you're partnered up, you may talk about moving in together or starting a family depending on the stage of your relationship. Love matters take on a more secluded energy during this time of year and your best moments will be spent in the comfort of your sanctuary with your lover.
On the 18th, Saturn goes direct and your relationship is getting even more serious. If you're single, a solid commitment is definitely on the brain and if love isn't a priority right now, there's a solid business partnership in the works. Around the 21st, try to stay realistic when it comes to any new routines you're trying to implement into your life as well as new knowledge you're absorbing. These things take time, and practice, for these new habits and concepts to truly establish themselves. Give yourself credit for even the smallest bit of progress to avoid the disappointment of not meeting extremely high expectations that you're setting for yourself. Watch out for tension between you and a significant other (lover, business partner, or close friend) around the 28th. Try to find a compromise between your needs and those of the other. The month closes with a New Moon, inviting you to move residence or plant the seed if you're ready to add a new addition to your family.
Leo
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
You're in your bag this month as the Sun transits through hard-working Virgo throughout most of the month. On the 14th, Mercury and Venus are making you the center of attention when it comes to communication. Check those junk mail folders and stay on top of your DMs. You could have some dope opportunities come your way, given the extra charm that you're exuding over the next month. The Full Moon on the same day can get pretty emo for you but hey, you've gotta feel it to heal it. Might as well be the bold babe that you are and dive right into the shadows of your pain. You may even be able to pull some inspiration from the depths to work to your benefit.
On the 18th, Saturn goes direct and you're getting extremely disciplined with your fitness, health, and daily routines. You may not be training for the olympics but you've definitely got your eyes on the gold medal. Be mindful of over-inflated expectations around the 21st when it comes to romance. It's best to take things slow and just have some fun at this time. Keep in mind that intimacy takes time to build and spilling your guts about all of your childhood trauma and fears on the first date isn't the best approach to this. September winds down with a New Moon encouraging you to start that new writing project, share your thoughts, or launch that vlog as a means of self-expression.
Virgo
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Happy birthday, Goddess! The spotlight is on you for most of the month and it's time to reintroduce yourself as the wiser, sexier, and more successful woman that you've become over the past year. Mercury and Venus are blessing your finances right out the gate. Whether you're blowing out birthday candles or not, don't forget to make a wish. The cosmos are working overtime for you this month. You've got the potential to land some major business deals, sponsorships, or extra support for your amazing talents. Shoot your shot and apply for those loans, grants, and scholarships if you need some extra financial assistance. On the 14th, the Full Moon in your opposite sign can illuminate some imbalances within an existing partnership or business collaboration. Try to find a middle ground and if necessary, part ways in peace to create space for a connection that is more in alignment with you. On the 18th, Saturn goes direct in your sister sign and you're getting serious about those creative ideas that have been brewing underneath the surface since April. It's time to put those plans into action!
Try your best to stay grounded around the 21st when it comes to your expectations of others and your family. You may not be feeling as supported as you'd like but it's nothing personal. Keep in mind that people have lives just like you do. Ask for help when you need it and be open to receiving it in the way that people can offer it to you. It's up to you to do the rest. Tensions are rising around the 28th between your creative ideas and the input of a group that you collaborate with. Teamwork makes the dream work. Make sure everyone's ideas are taken into consideration—even if it's just bits and pieces that will ultimately lend to the bigger picture. The month winds down with a New Moon, bringing in a renewed sense of belief in yourself that is possibly accompanied by an amazing opportunity that increases your finances.
Libra
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The first part of the month will be a bit more quiet for you as your prepare for your birthday season. Take some time to reflect over the growth that you've experienced in the past year and the plans for your future. On the 14th, the Full Moon illuminates some habits that you may need to clean up, particularly related to your health and wellness. Mercury and Venus move into your sign on the same day, amping up the charm factor and enchanting your life with magical opportunities. Don't be afraid to shine and express the truth of who you are. Your authenticity will make you a magnet for good fortune and maybe even some love and romance.
Saturn goes direct on the 18th and you're planting your roots in a new home, or restructuring your current abode. Family planning may be on the brain for some of you in the months to come. As magical as the energy is this month, do your best to stay grounded around the 21st particularly when it comes to any new habits you're implementing or projects you're starting. In most cases, slow and steady wins the race. The Sun enters your sign on the 23rd, bringing in your birthday season. Tension may be rising around the 28th between your home life and career aspirations. Try to find a balance between the two. The month ends with a New Moon in your sign and maybe a new wardrobe or hairstyle, too. It's time to reintroduce the world to the new and improved you!
Scorpio
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Most of your focus this month is on your friends, social networking, and your long-term vision for your life while the Sun transits through Virgo. On the 14th, the Full Moon in your sister sign illuminates your creativity and inner child. It's time to express yourself more freely and maybe reveal that new masterpiece you've been working on behind the scenes. Mercury and Venus move into Libra on the same day, making you even more receptive to all of the tea. Be mindful of getting too caught up in the drama. This energy is best utilized for laying low and reconnecting with your spiritual practice. Make an effort to record your dreams as they'll bring you tons of guidance and insight into what needs to be healed throughout the month ahead.
Saturn goes direct on on the 18th, helping you to take a more thoughtful approach to your communication style moving ahead. This is a good time to revamp your social media strategy or sign up for that course to refine your public speaking or writing skills. Be mindful of having your head in the clouds around the 21st when it comes to your spending habits and romance. You may be tempted to splurge on a date around this time. Get creative to spare yourself the big bill. Watch out for tension between you and a mentor figure around the 23rd. It's not what you say. It's how you say it. September winds down with the Sun and New Moon in Libra, encouraging you to close out those karmic contracts just in time for your birthday season next month.
Sagittarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
While the Sun transits through Virgo in the first part of the month, your attention is on leveling up in career and social status. On the 14th, Mercury and Venus move into Libra, helping you work out any kinks within your friendships while also making you super popular amongst your community. This is primetime for networking. As they say, "It's all about who you know." However, this time around, people will be more drawn towards you without you having to make as much effort. Any issues within your home and family may come to a head with the Full Moon amping up the energy. People will be more sensitive than usual on the 14th, so lay low, if possible. This energy may also have you ready to relocate if you've outgrown your current environment.
Saturn goes direct on the 18th and you're ready to take action towards establishing some long-term wealth for yourself. Keep in mind that your legacy takes time to build but you're well on your way to financial freedom. Be mindful of unrealistic expectations around the 21st when it comes to family matters or buying that new home. Preparation is key if you want to invest in property or expand your family. Watch out for tension around the 28th when it comes to your resources and what you share with others. An outstanding debt may need to be paid or you need to compromise if you share funds within a partnership. The month ends with a New Moon, inviting you to expand your social circle and your vision for life. Dream big, Saggie! The world is yours for the taking.
Capricorn
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The first part of the month brings your focus to higher learning and spiritual development, sprinkled in with some foreign affairs. It's time to plan for that Eat, Pray, Love adventure you've been daydreaming about. On the 14th, the Full Moon lends you the spotlight on social media, helping you to express yourself in a more vulnerable way. If you're not ready for IG fame quite yet, this is the perfect time to explore some written or verbal outlets to express your feelings. Mercury and Venus form a lovely conjunction on the same day, gifting you with the gift of gab in your professional environment. If you've been wanting that promotion or raise, now is the time to have that meeting with your boss.
Your ruling planet, Saturn, goes direct on the 18th, helping you catch a little bit of a break (with an emphasis on "little bit"). Okay, so this transit has probably been kicking your ass, but for good reason. Remember, it takes pressure to make diamonds, my love. Stay grounded around the 21st as this energy has the potential to carry you off into la la land. There's a fine line between faith and delusion. Back up your dreams with consistent action and make sure other people's promises are consistent with their actions as well. There may be some tension brewing around the 28th between you and a significant other or business partner. Sometimes it's just best to take some space and reconvene at a later time. The month ends on a high note with the New Moon, blessing you with a new job, promotion, or increased social standing through an achievement of yours. It's about damn time the G.O.A.T. gets the recognition she deserves.
Aquarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The beginning of September brings your focus to your inner transformation, helping you make amends with your voice of criticism. The Full Moon on the 14th serves to liberate you from emotional wounds, contributing to low self-esteem that inhibit you from sharing your gifts with the world (and monetizing them as well). Mercury and Venus create a harmonious aspect on the same day, elevating you into a position of a guide for others that wish to follow in your footsteps. Don't be afraid to share your wealth of wisdom. This transit can also bring in some sudden opportunities to travel with bae or line you up to meet someone special during your excursion.
Saturn goes direct on the 18th, giving you the push to get more grounded when it comes to your spiritual practices. It's time to get back into that mediation routine or reconnect with your sacred community that holds you accountable for your spiritual growth. Stay grounded around the 21st as there's a tendency to overspend on your friends. It's okay to be generous but make sure you're not trying to prove your worth in social settings by being the big spender. You've got other great qualities that people value when you simply show up. Tensions may be rising around the 28th between your daily responsibilities and your desire to drift off into your dreamworld. This aspect can also reveal a hidden hater in your midst. Avoid getting sucked into anyone's drama and leave them to beef with themselves. The month winds down with a New Moon inspiring you to go back to school, take a course, or dive deeper into personal study that will elevate your mind and spirit.
Pisces
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Relationships are your top priority with the Sun transiting through your opposite sign, helping you bring balance into your key connections. Don't be afraid to set boundaries where necessary. The Full Moon on the 14th helps you clear out the old narratives, and emotions, that have held you back from asserting your individuality. Both Mercury and Venus move into Libra the same day, strengthening your ability to verbalize those feelings you often hide. Fear of intimacy, along with any psychological trauma, can be seen with a clearer perspective during this transit. Saturn, the ruler of karma, goes direct on the 18th, granting you some momentum towards those big hopes and dreams of yours while also providing you with the support from your tribe to motivate you along the way. Try not to shy away from networking in the months to come. Remember, it's not what you know. It's who you know.
Do your best to stay grounded around the 21st when it comes to your expectations in career. Slow and steady wins the race and all of this Capricorn energy is helping you develop some much-needed discipline. Be mindful of tension within a team setting around the 28th. Ideas may be clashing but do your best to find a middle ground. You're all working towards a common goal but just have different ways of going about it. Be flexible! September closes with a New Moon, inviting you to share your wealth, whether that be financially or spiritually. Your willingness to connect with others on a deeper level provides you a sense of being understood—something you've always been seeking.
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Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
One of my favorite things to do is kiss. In fact, kissing is so important to me that I once stayed with someone longer than I should’ve, in part, because he was such a good kisser (to the point where I can confirm that “kissing orgasms” are a real thing) and I also once broke up with someone because he absolutely sucked at kissing (ugh). Kissing is sexy. Kissing is sensual. Kissing is intimate.
And science says that kissing can boost endorphin levels in your body; reduce feelings that are associated with stress and anxiety; elevate your immunity; help to lessen allergy-related symptoms; soothe headaches and period cramp discomfort; make you horny (yes, literally), and even decrease your chances of getting cavities.
Yes, kissing is a good thing. A really good thing.
Oh, but as someone who is turning out to be one of my favorite philosophers (Aristotle) once said, the excess of a virtue can indeed turn into a vice — and as far as kissing is concerned, that can prove itself to be true in a way that some may have thought was nothing more than an urban myth: getting STIs (sexually transmitted infections)/STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) from doing it.
Yep, if you heard somewhere that you can get an STI/STD from puckering up, there is indeed some truth to that, so please take a moment to read more about it. That way, you can finally separate fact from fiction.
Bottom Line, Yes…You Can. However, the Risks Are Relatively Low.
Honestly, if you let it sink in that a kiss that lasts for longer than 10 seconds will result in about 80 million bacteria being exchanged, that alone should cause it to make all of the sense in the world that a kiss isn’t something that should be taken as casually as a lot of people do. And although, when it comes to STIs/STDs, it is far easier to transmit them through penetrative or oral sex, the reality is that there are some that can you get via saliva or the mucous membranes that are in your mouth (although infected saliva that is on something like a sex toy makes your chances much lower because STIs/STDs tend to “deactivate” once they are exposed to the air).
And since “low probability” doesn’t mean “absolutely not,” I think we should look into which STIs/STDs could become an issue whenever you go in for a smooch vs. the ones that you don’t really have to concern yourself with at all.
The STIs/STDs That You CAN Get from Kissing
So, here’s the deal: If you happen to have a cut in your mouth or you’ve got a cold sore, that can significantly increase your chances of being exposed to an STI/STD if your partner happens to have one. Which ones am I speaking of specifically?
- Herpes (more specifically, HSV-1)
- Syphilis
- Cytomegalovirus (CMV)
- Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
Now something that’s important to keep in mind about three out of four of these (herpes, CMV, and HPV), is that, although they are very treatable, they currently don’t have a cure. As far as the one that does have one (syphilis), it’s important that it’s discovered and treated in its early stages; otherwise, it can lead to things like weight and hair loss, infertility and, if ignored for too long, it can even become life-threatening.
I don’t know about y’all but, to me, this all sounds like valid enough reasons to be cautious when it comes to who you share your mouth with.
The STIs/STDs That You CAN’T Get from Kissing
Okay, so what STIs/STDs does science say you don’t have to worry about when you’re kissing someone?
- Chlamydia
- Gonorrhea
- Hepatitis
- Trichomoniasis
- HIV
- Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
The reason why is because these are all things that are spread through oral, anal, or vaginal sex acts (however, they can oftentimes be asymptomatic, so if you are sexually active, please make sure to get tested no less than once a year). That said, if you do happen to have one of these STIs/STDs, please show courtesy and respect to your partner by letting them know — even if sex isn’t currently on the table for you.
Although research does indeed say that kissing doesn’t put them at risk, they still have the right to decide if they want to move forward with intimacy, of any kind, while these health-related issues are being treated.
5 Ways to Reduce Your Chances of Getting an STI/STD from Kissing
Okay, so now that you can confidently separate what you should actually know (and take to heart) from what you may have randomly heard that couldn’t be further from the truth, if you’re curious about what you can do to decrease your chances of getting an STI/STD from kissing, I’ve got a few tips:
Take kissing seriously. Grandma said don’t put your mouth everywhere and she’s right. In a world that continually tries to gaslight us into thinking that we can (and damn near should) just do whatever with whoever without consequence, as you can see, that’s simply not true — especially when you take into account how wild it is that most of the STIs/STDs that you can get from kissing don’t have a cure.
Moral to this story: Your mouth is as valuable as every other part of your body. It is a privilege to kiss it, so please act accordingly. Oh, and don’t be afraid to ask about people’s sexual health status before letting them put their tongue all up and in your mouth. You know what they say — an ounce of prevention is always gonna be worth a pound of cure (or treatment).
Practice intentional oral hygiene. Hopefully, brushing and flossing on a daily basis are a given. What I mean here is you should look for signs of cold sores, cuts, or lesions in your mouth (including a blister that you may get from a burned tongue) on a weekly basis. If any of these are evident in you or your partner, it’s best to wait to kiss (if you haven’t BOTH recently been tested).
Y’all be careful with all of the sexy biting. Speaking of open wounds (relatively speaking, anyway), although I once read that, according to the Kama Sutra, biting lips while kissing is a sign of strong desire and sexual arousal, it can also leave cuts that could make you more vulnerable to getting sick. So, on this one, enter with caution. Straight up.
Don’t kiss when you’re feeling under the weather. Mono, colds and the flu, COVID-19, stomach viruses — these are some of the other things that you and your partner can give to one another while exchanging a kiss. Since some of the symptoms that are related to these may mimic some that come from an STI/STD, it’s best to not kiss when you are sick — not until you can confirm what you have and (preferably) the symptoms have passed.
Get tested on a regular basis. The only way that you are going to know for sure that kissing is a low-risk behavior for you and your partner is if you both get tested. If you’d prefer to do it from the comfort, convenience, and privacy of your own home, there are STI/STD tests that you can have sent to you (like the ones here, here, and here). They aren’t necessarily the cheapest in the world, yet they are pretty darn accurate and can give you the peace of mind that you seek.
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Listen, I am Team Kissing just as much as the next person. However, whenever I stop to think about all that goes on in a mouth, I thought it was important that you become aware as well. As I said earlier, a good kiss is pretty incomparable. Let’s all just make sure that we leave kisses better and not worse off after experiencing them — literally and figuratively.
Amen? I’m sayin’.
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